Simple Request

I stood there in the cold and stared at him, there was something about the way he said that he needed to tell me something, that just made me nervous. I knew I upset him the night before, and I was afraid that maybe he was tired of me. That he wanted to end things because he couldn’t take my moods anymore.

“What did you need to talk about?” I asked, wrapping my arms around myself to fight off the cold air that was blowing through my clothes.

“Can we go inside?” He asked as my teeth chattered again.

I led him inside; he stopped in the porch and sat on the bench. I stood in the doorway of the kitchen. “Did you want to come in here where it’s warmer?” I asked, I felt that if he was in further, what he had to tell me wouldn’t be to bad.

Josh shook his head, “I can’t stay long honey.” He held out his hand to me, “Why don’t you come join me here?”

He called me honey and wants me to join him, I thought as I slipped my hand in his and sat next to him. It can’t be that bad, can it? Staring up at him, I nervously chewed on my bottom lip; I couldn’t have been more worried.

Slipping of his gloves, he lifted his left hand to my face. I closed my eyes as his fingers caressed my cheek. “Anna,” he sighed and dropped his hand onto my lap.

My lip trembled as my eyes opened again, “You aren’t breaking up with me? Are you Josh?”

His brow jumped as he gazed into my eyes, “Why would I do that?” He asked me softly.

“You said you had something to say that I wouldn’t like, I can’t think of anything else but that. I know I got mad at you last night for no reason, I know that I get upset easily but I don’t mean to. I don’t want to lose you Josh.” He looked away from me and my heart fell. “Josh? Please tell me what’s going on.”

“You are right,” he started as he stared at the floor. “I did say I needed to tell you something you didn’t like.” He glanced over his shoulder at me. “But I don’t want to break up with you.”

“You are right about something else too. You do get upset easily and you do take it out on me. I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t affect me because it does; I hate it when you do that.” I nodded; I knew it would be an issue sooner or later. “But Anna, that’s not what I hate the most.”

It took me a moment but I found my voice, “What do I do that upsets you more than that?”

“It’s not what you do, it’s the situation.” He sighed, “And it’s partly my own insecurities.”

“Insecurities? Josh what do you have to be insecure about? You are an amazing man, everyone loves you.”

He chuckled, “You know, that’s part of what I love about you.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek, “You don’t see all my faults, even when they are staring you in the face. Honey, I’m not perfect. I have things I’m unsure of.”

“Like what?”

“Honestly?” He asked and I nodded. “I’m afraid that one day you’ll wake up and see that I’m not as perfect as you seem to think I am.”

“Josh,” I scoffed. “Like that is ever going to happen!”

He took my hand in his, “Why wouldn’t it? It has happened before,” he looked down at our hands. “That’s not even what I wanted to talk about though.”

“Then what did you want to talk about?”

“I was laying awake last night, thinking about our conversation wishing that I had the guts to tell you I was coming over despite the fact that you didn’t seem to want me there.”

“Of course I -”

“I hate that you live here!” He said abruptly. “I hate that every night you aren’t with me, you are here. With Jordan.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I know you said I had nothing to worry about, that you and Jordan are just friends but I hate that he gets to spend time with you when I’m all alone in my apartment missing you like crazy.”

“Josh I -”

He slid off the bench and got to his knees in front of me, his head rested on my lap. “I want to come home to you every night or be there when you come home. I don’t want to have to call and see if it’s ok if I see you. I don’t want to have to spend nights alone because you are upset with someone else.” He looked up at me, “I miss you so much when you aren’t around.”

“I miss you too,” I told him.

“That’s why I would like for you to move in with me.”

I didn’t have time to answer, while Josh was pouring out his heart to me, Jordan walked in the front door.

"Isn't that romantic?" Jordan laughed, "You want her to move in with you so she's not here with me."