I'll Tell You Where I'm Coming From

That stopped my laughing, I stared up at him. There were so many things I wanted to say at that moment, but after my little blow up in the dining room, I politely bit my tongue.

“Joshua -” his mother went to say something but he cut her off.

“That’s why she’s wearing grandma’s necklace and her ring. We’ve decided to wait to become officially engaged but we are going to get married.” He smiled down at me, “I can’t wait for that day.”

I smiled at him, what he said was true, we did decided to wait – wait to tell anyone that we were talking about getting married. I don’t know how I felt now that he just told his mother. It’s not that I didn’t want to marry him, I did, so badly. I wanted to be with him but I didn’t want to rush things too much. I knew there was still so much that we needed to learn about each other, so much that we should share together before we officially became bounded for life.

So I let it go without saying anything, I just smiled up at him.

His mother looked back and forth between the two of us, I wasn’t sure what she was thinking and there for a while I thought she was going to ask him if he was crazy. “Joshua,” she started, giving him a look to see if he would cut her off again but he didn’t. “I’m sure that your grandparents would be thrilled to hear this!” She came over to us and gave us both a hug.

“Anna,” she turned me towards her, her hands were on my shoulders. “I know you will make Joshua very happy.”

“I’ll certainly do everything I can to make that happen,” I told her even though I felt like there was a ‘but’ on that sentence she uttered.

Helen released me, turned to give Josh a kiss on the cheek and then left us alone again.

Once we were alone, Josh pulled me into his arms. “Please don’t be mad. I didn’t think. I know we were going to wait to tell anyone. But when mom caught us, I just started rambling and it came out. I just didn’t want her to think you were trying to corrupt me,” he gave a little chuckle at the end.

I laughed, “I don’t think we have to worry about that.”

“No?” He raised a brow, “My mom just caught us making out Anna. Do you have any idea how many times that’s happened to me?”

I shook my head, “No I don’t.”

“Never.” He nodded when I gave a little gasp. “That’s right, I’ve never been caught making out here because I’ve never made out so publicly before.”

“Why the hell not?” I asked him. I was very surprised by this.

He shrugged, “It’s just not something I do.”

“Oh,” I frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

I sighed, “I didn’t realize that it was such a big deal.” I glanced up at him. “Josh, my parents used to stop each other as they passed by in the house, they would kiss or whisper something to the other. My mom was always blushing when my dad would do it, so I’m assuming he was talking dirty.” I smiled. “Both Zach and Chad are that way with their wives, in their home and out on the street.” I shrugged, “I guess I’ve always grew up with the idea that public displays of affection were perfectly normal.”

I went to touch him but I stopped, I didn’t know where his boundaries were now, I didn’t understand not being able to show him how I felt when I felt it. “I’m sorry.”

“Anna,” Josh sighed as he pulled me into his arms. “I guess I’m not used to being loved,” he kissed my cheek. “I wasn’t allowed to even kiss Carol in public. So making out in the hallway of my parents’ house was certainly out of the question!”

“Josh! It’s not like there’s anyone around, I wouldn’t have done anything too risky. I’m not a total pervert! I wouldn’t hump you in front of your parents!”

Josh laughed, “Good, I wouldn’t want to give them a heart attack!”

We started to head back to the dining room when I stopped him. “So were you totally uncomfortable with what we did? Do you want me to not do some things?”

“Honey, you can do whatever you want. I love every kiss, caress and naughty thing you say to me. It’ll just take some time for me to get used to you doing it.”

When we entered the dining room, hand in hand, both of us were smiling. I’m not sure if his mom told anyone about what Josh told her and I didn’t care. Some time during dessert, Jesse came over and crawled up with me. He snuggled close to me and I couldn’t help but feel that being there with Josh and his family was where I was supposed to be.

The rest of the afternoon passed way too quickly for me, we soon had to leave so that I could get ready for work. I didn’t want to go to work that day, I wanted to be there for Josh when Carol came to pick Jesse up. But I couldn’t call in, I needed the hours.

“I don’t want to leave,” I told Josh when I came out from the bathroom. He was playing with Jesse at his activity table.

Smiling up at me, he told me that he didn’t want me to go either. “You have a few minutes still, come and play with us.”

I sat down with them and Jess immediately gave me a crayon, “We color Ama!”

He was in the middle of picking out a picture for us when Josh’s phone rang. As he looked at the caller ID he frowned but he answered it. “Hello?” He listened for a moment, “Sure Carol, it’s not a problem.” He grinned, “No defiantly not, there’s nothing I would rather do.” He paused, “Oh? Well you can tell me when you come for Jesse.” Josh’s smile disappeared, “Why not? I don’t see why you have to wait until tomorrow when you’ll be here later.” Josh sighed, “Carol come on that’s not fair. Just tell me now then.”

Josh was pacing by this time, back and forth in front of the couch. Finally he stopped, “Carol,” he sat down on the couch and held his head in his hand. “Why do our lawyers need to be there? Well no, I don’t understand why you just can’t tell me without them being there.”

I watched him, trying to figure out what Carol was saying to him but I had no clue. Jesse in the meantime crawled onto my lap again, “We color daddy?”

Josh glanced over at us and nodded as he held up his hand. “Fine Carol, we’ll meet tomorrow. Yes, Walter will be with me. Ok, bye.” Josh hung up the phone but stood there staring at it for a while.

“Daddy color?” Jesse held out a crayon to Josh.

“Yes,” Josh gave Jess a smile as he knelt down next to us. “Ok, so what is daddy coloring?”