Predictable Like The Weather

“Yes,” I told Susan. “Yes I want to see Jesse. I want to hear his laughter, see him smile and watch him be the happy kid I know and love but…” I sighed. “Josh doesn’t know if he can trust me, or if he ever will, I don’t want to hurt either one of them anymore.”

Susan gave me a sympathetic look. “But I thought you said that Josh wanted you to be there? Didn’t you tell me he said he would come looking for you if you weren’t?”

I nodded, “He said that but I don’t think he really meant it, how could he?”

“Men don’t know what they want Anna!” Susan laughed, “Do you think your brother knew what he was doing when we first started dating? Chad wouldn’t be as happy as he is today if it weren’t for me showing him how things should be! You just have to show Josh what he’s missing out on and he’ll soon change his mind!”

“Susan!” I shook my head. “It’s not that simple! I did something that completely destroyed his trust…”

Susan was shaking her head.

“Why are you shaking your head?”

“If you completely destroyed Josh’s trust, why is he having anything to do with you at all? Why would he want you to be around his son? From what I can remember of Josh from what I saw of him, he is furiously protective of his little boy, he wouldn’t want you around him if he didn’t trust you at all.”

“But he -”

“I think that he’s hurting, which is only natural and it will take some time for him to get over that but I really don’t think that he doesn’t trust you; all his actions so after have proven otherwise.”

I went to say something but as I thought about what Susan said, it did kind of make sense. Would a man who didn’t trust me want me around his son? Would he seek me out when things aren’t going his way like he did at word with the party supplies? Would he then proceed to ask me to help him out and draw out that time together? I brought my hands to my forehead and groaned, I was so utterly confused.

“See?” Susan smiled at me, “You know what I’m saying is true.”

“But…” I trailed off, I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“So you’ll take the kids to Jesse’s party and I’ll - NO!” Susan screamed and I spun around to look at the kids. At first I didn’t see what she was flipping out about as I watched Jenna shake the cup in her hands, I went to turn back to Susan and that’s when the lid came off the cup and the full glass of juice Jenna was shaking went all over her and Conner.

“Oh!” Jenna dropped the now empty cup and held her hands up to her mouth as she stared at the dripping boy across from her.

“Bad Jenna!” Conner exclaimed and then turned to his mother. “Mommy Jenna got me all sticky! I can’t go to Jesse’s party all sticky!”

Susan took Conner to the bathroom to clean him up and I went to get something to clean the juice up. When I got back, Jenna was kneeling in the red puddle, pressing her hands into it and then touching her face and hair. “Oh Jenna,” I groaned, she smiled up at me. “Here,” I handed her a couple paper towels to soak up the juice. Within minutes you couldn’t tell that there was a juice spill in the hall, unless of course you looked at the little red girl standing beside me.

“Come on,” I took her sticky hand in mine as I led her to the bathroom where Susan was just finishing up with Conner.

“Oh my!” Susan tried not to laugh as she stared at Jenna’s hair that was stuck to her forehead with juice. “You might as well bathe her,” she told me and then said that the party was starting.

“But mommy,” Conner tugged on Susan’s hand. “I’m still here! I have to go to the party!”

“You will once Aunt Anna cleans Jenna up,” she told Conner as they walked out of the room.

No matter how hard I tried to wash Jenna quickly, she seemed determined to slow me down; first she didn’t want to get in the water and then she didn’t want to get out. Twenty five minutes had passed and Conner was whining about missing the party; I felt so bad.

As I was starting to dress Jenna, my cell phone rang and Conner came running down the hall with it in his hands. “Aunt Anna, it’s for you,” he had answered it.

“Hello?” I propped the phone between my shoulder and ear while I grabbed Jenna’s ankle as she tried to make a break for it, naked. There was so much noise in the background, I barely heard the person on the phone. “I’m sorry?” I frowned and tried to pin a wiggling Jenna down to put a diaper on her.

The noise level faded and I heard, “Am I coming through now?”

“Yes,” I said hesitantly as I tried to figure out who it was, it sounded like Josh but I knew it wasn’t. “Tim?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Why are you calling?” I asked him but I wanted to cheer instead because I finally managed to get Jenna into the diaper.

“Well I had some free time on my hands and I decided to see what you were up too,” he said jokingly and then added. “No seriously? Josh is driving me nuts, he keeps pretending that he’s not looking at the door every five minutes and not waiting for you but we all know the difference, I really don’t know who he’s trying to kid here.”

“I told Josh I wasn’t going to be there.” Actually dressing Jenna went a lot faster than trying to put her diaper on, I picked her up and went down the hall to find Susan so she could take the kids to the party now.

“Why not?”

“I’m sure Josh told you everything, is there really any reason that I should be there?” I sighed, “I think it would be better for everyone if I didn’t show up.”

“Hmmm,” was all he said to that.

“Well,” I helped Jenna into her boots and coat. “Jenna and Conner are leaving the house right now,” I told him. “There was a little incident that put them behind.”

“Anna I really think that you should come to the party, Jess wants to see you, you are all he’s talked about for the last month or so, he got there and talked about you so much that even Megan has been asking for you.” Tim chuckled softly and then coughed; his tone serious when he spoke again. “Jesse isn’t the only one who has been missing you Anna, Josh has too. You have no idea how much of an impact you’ve made in my brother’s life in such a short time, I’ve never seen him as happy as he was when you came into his life.”

“Tim…”

“Anna,” he cut in. “I know all about what happened, I like to think that you wouldn’t have purposely hurt Josh, I’ve seen the way the two of you were together so I know you do care about him.”

“I love him Tim.”

“Then why are you there instead of here by his side celebrating his first birthday party with his son? He really wants you here Anna,” Tim paused and then added, “Don’t make me have to get mom to come and talk some sense into you!”

“I’m surprised that all of you don’t hate me for what I did.”

“Of course we don’t hate you Anna, Josh wouldn’t let us if we wanted too; he’s very protective of you. Even just after what happened, he wouldn’t stand for anyone saying anything bad about you.”

I didn’t know what to say, I honestly didn’t. If Josh was confusing me, his brother was certainly throwing me for a loop too. I started to think that maybe there was a way for Josh and I to work through this, it would be a lot of work but in the end it would be totally worth it.

“Listen I have to get back to the party,” Tim told me. “Please don’t think about it too long and end up missing out on all the fun.”

He told me he would see me soon and then hung up.

I stood there staring at my cell for a moment and then ran towards the door. “Susan!” I quickly shoved my boots on and ran towards her van as she was starting to pull out of the driveway.

I didn’t think I was going to get her attention in time but at the last moment she turned and saw me. I was bouncing in place as I waited for her to roll down her window. “Changed your mind?” I nodded fiercely and then ran back to the house for my jacket.

Yeah, so I couldn't stay away, I didn't really want to stay away either. Maybe it would've been wiser not to go but I haven't always done what I should have done and sometimes it still ends up alright.

So ten minutes later, I walked into the Holly’s Playroom with a hand full of presents and two really excited little kids. We stopped in the entrance to remove our jackets and boots like everyone else did and then we went in to join the screaming fun.

The second I walked through the doorway I saw Josh and Jesse both standing back on to me talking to Tim, who happened to glance in my direction at that moment, he smiled at me. Josh went to turn to see what Tim was smiling at but Tim grabbed his arm and started to gesture wildly with his hands, keeping Josh’s attention on him.

I was so nervous as I made my way over to them and I felt everyone’s eyes on me too. The room seemed to get a lot quieter the closer I got to Josh and Jess. When I knelt down behind Jesse, I swear you could’ve heard a pin drop. “Happy Birthday Sweetie.”