Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The 'Experts' Agree

When Josh told me that he wanted to be friends my heart sank, I didn’t see this as a good thing at all, I really thought it was a kiss off. That is until I spoke to my sister-in-law in the morning.

I was in their kitchen eating a bowl of cereal when Susan came in and sat down next to me. “So,” she smiled at me. “How did it go with Josh yesterday?” When I didn’t say anything the smile disappeared from her face. “It couldn’t have gone that bad Anna!”

“No,” I told her. “I guess you are right, having the man of your dreams tell you he just wants to be friends isn’t a bad thing at all.”

“What?” Her jaw dropped as she stared at me in disbelief. “No,” she shook her head. “Josh wouldn’t do that, he loves you!”

“Well he did.”

“You have to tell me what was said, exactly what was said,” she glanced at Chad who was sitting at the end of the table reading his paper. “Josh wouldn’t say that, would he honey?”

Chad glanced up at her and shrugged, “I don’t know Susan, I wasn’t there.”

“What good are you?” Susan puffed and then turned to me again. “Tell me what happened.”

So I told Susan everything that happened yesterday, from the time I got to the party until I left his place; I didn’t want to leave anything out just in case I missed something that she would see.

“Wait,” Susan stopped me when I was telling her about the moment before I left Josh’s place. “Did he say he just wanted to be friends or that being friends was a good place to start?”

“I don’t know,” I looked at her. “Why does it matter?”

“Think Anna!” Susan stared at me wide eyed as she grabbed my arm. “What did he say exactly?”

“Oh good lord Anna,” Chad piped up. “Tell her now before she explodes!”

“Shut up you,” Susan threw a bun across the table at him. “Now tell me Anna.”

I sighed, “When I asked him if he wanted to be friends he said, ‘I think that would be a good place to start.’” I groaned, “What the hell does that mean?”

Susan was damn near bouncing in her chair. “It means that he isn’t giving up on you!” She exclaimed. “I knew it! Josh does love you and he does want things to work out! Yay!” She sat there beaming at me.

“How do you know that?” I asked her, I was totally confused.

“Well Anna I think that Josh –”

“Anna,” Chad jumped into the conversation totally cutting Susan off. “If Josh had said ‘let’s just be friends’ it would mean that he doesn’t see things ever going further with the two of you. But by saying, ‘it’s a good place to start’ means he wants to work towards being in a serious relationship with you again. Of course, it won’t make over night and there will be times when you wonder if it’s going anywhere but in the end you’ll see, you’ll be more than friends with him again.”

“Really?” I glanced at Susan who was shooting daggers at Chad. I thought about it for a moment but I didn’t get it and I told them that.

“Anna,” Susan jumped in giving Chad a dirty look when he opened his mouth. “When you first meet someone who you get along with and you like, you become friends right?” I nodded. “When you become friends with someone, you get to know them and if there is chemistry between the two of you, you might decide to take it a step further.”

“Right but what does that have to do with this?”

“Part of getting to know someone is starting to trust them enough to be yourself with them and Josh telling you that he wants to be friends, that it’s a good place to start means he wants to trust you and he is willing to give you the chance to regain his trust.” Susan sat back and smiled at me. “Plus it gives you both the space you didn’t have when you rushed into being together.”

I glanced at Chad, I was going to ask him what he thought but he was nodding in agreement with Susan so I knew the answer to that question. “So what do I do now?”

“You be his friend,” Susan said simply and then grabbed my arm. “And Anna I mean ‘friend’ not ‘friends with benefits’. I want you to treat him the same way you treat Jo…Nicky.”

“Jordan doesn’t have any special benefits!” I snapped at her.

“But you did blur the friendship line with him on more than one occasion,” Chad jumped in.

“Right,” Susan agreed. “You can’t do that with Josh, if you do you’ll only end up confusing yourself. If you get in a situation where you think about crossing the line ask yourself if it were Nicky, would you do it.”

I sighed, “This isn’t going to be easy, is it?”

“No,” Susan told me. “It’s probably going to be the hardest thing you ever did but think about how great it’ll feel when Josh does take you in his arms to kiss you for the first time…again.” Susan gave a happy sigh and Chad raised a brow in her direction. “It’ll be so worth it Anna.”

So I was feeling a lot better about the situation with Josh when I left for work that morning, I just didn’t know if I should wait for him to call me up to see if I wanted to hang out or if I should call him.

I decided that since he was the one who wanted time, I should wait for him. I just hoped that he wouldn’t take too long calling me and that’s why I had my cell on the floor with me while I was working; I didn’t want to miss his call.

When I went on my break, I thought about it a little more and I put my cell into my locker like I did every other time I worked, being his friend means not sitting by the phone waiting for him to call.

13 comments:

MonkeySpeak said...

Good girl Anna!

Besides, not waiting by your phone will only make him want you more! Im learning that the hard way. I keep wanting to be available for the guy im seeing but honestly it only seems to push him away and hes saying similar things to Josh - needing space to figure things out. When I give him that space, well, things seem to work out a lot better. And don't jump whenever he calls you! Be busy!!!!

OMG Im talking to Anna like she's a person and not fiction.

This gets you so wrapped up in it!

Anonymous said...

lol dont worry gatormonkey...lol we all do that! anna just seems so real!..so does this mean she can date other guys..u noe since they are only frds..i mean he wants to be able to gain her trust but trust with a frd is different than trust with a bf...cause i mean..by being frds...she can date:D right?

p.s susan and chad are hilarious lol

EJ said...

gatormonkey - it's only half fiction... this is sort of based on a true story idea so you're not completely crazy :)

Anonymous said...

I hope this doesn't drag on and on - I like the drama and the excitement of what might happen. Anna and Josh are getting boring. Bring back the DRAMA that lets us wonder what might happen.....what could happen.........or what will happen!

The Middle Child said...

You go girl, make him wait for your call.

Lynn said...

I'm glad Anna put her phone in her locker. But I also think when a women makes a conscious decision to not wait by the phone, she is also distancing herself from the other person, and trying to take control where she really has none.

MonkeySpeak said...

I think she CAN date, but does she even want to? I think that may be what Josh is looking for.

Does that make sense?

Techincally, he can't get mad at her if she dates someone else (Look at Reed and Amber!) because HE is the one who wants to just be friends right now, but I think it's one of those situations where, look, I don't own you BUT I want to know that I really am the only person you want to be with. A test. It sucks tbecause its a game, but the older I get, the more I learn, we all say we don't want games, but thats what it really is. One, Big, Stupid, Game.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....an "Anna & Josh dating other ppl" might be a very interesting story line. I love these 2 as a couple, it's very realistic and I'm glad that they haven't given up on each other or the relationship, I think that happens all too much nowadays.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone else noticed that "Anna" hasn't posted messages in the comment section for a few days (for either one of her blogs)?

Where did you go? We miss you!!

Anonymous said...

The older I get the more I realize what a dumb ass I was when it came to men!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's because I'm an old married lady, but this relationship sounds like it's just draining both of them. I think they both need to learn to be happy alone before working on the togetherness part.

Anonymous said...

that was a good post. Hope he calls soon. Hey anna what happened to you writing us a little note after posting? Everything okay? Have a great day.

Chris

tita said...

Anna Where are u?????????????
XOXO