Panic Attack

“Babe what the hell was I thinking? I can’t meet Bella’s brother! He’s going to hate me and talk her into never seeing me again and then where will I be? I’ll tell you where! I’ll be the one homeless guy, you know the one with the stripped shirt and polka dotted pants? The one always ranting and raving like a lunatic about the end of the world? Well THAT WILL BE ME! Except I’ll be ranting incoherently about Bella and how she left me! Babe you have to call me when you get this, I need you to lie to me and tell me it’ll be ok.”

That was Jordan at the height of his tripping out on Thursday after he got home from work. That was the message he left on my cell while I was working, a message that I was expecting to hear as it grew closer and closer to the time Bella was going to be getting back into town with her brother that night.

Jordan answered on the first ring, “What took you so long?”

“I was working Jordan!” I shook my head. “You have got to stop this! You are only going to work yourself up and for what?”

“I don’t know why I call you; I was looking for a little support here! You know how badly I screw up when I meet any family!”

I rolled my eyes, “Jordy you screw up because you freak out! Bella’s brother isn’t going to hate you, not unless you tell him that you’ve seen his sister naked.” I chuckled.

“That’s not funny!” He snapped at me. “And I won’t tell him that because I haven’t seen Bella naked so there!”

I laughed, “Well good for you Jordan, that’s one less thing you have to worry about!”

“No,” he groaned. “What if I tell him I haven’t seen her naked and he thinks I’m only saying it?”

“Why don’t you just forget about Bella naked?”

“I can’t!” Jordan groaned again. “You had to mention that, didn’t you? Why do you hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you, you big jerk. You’ll do fine; Bella wouldn’t be introducing you to her brother if she wasn’t sure that you would make her proud.”

Jordan was quiet for a second. “I’m just glad that you’ll be there when I meet him.”

“What?” I almost dropped my phone. “Why will I be there? Aren’t you meeting him tonight? I’m working Jordan!”

“Bella called me and told me that her brother forgot some personal stuff that he can’t do without, so they are stopping by to do a little shopping first. She wanted me to meet them there and suggested that I wait with you.”

“Jordan! No!” I didn’t want to be there when he met Bella’s brother for the first time; I knew that Bella told him all about what happened with Jordan and me so I could imagine how he would react when he saw us together. “Why would she do that?”

Jordan told me he didn’t know, “Listen I have to go shower and stuff, I’ll see you soon.”

I’ll admit that it was a little weird at first but as time went on I thought it was amazing how easily Jordan and I slipped back into the relationship we had before Josh came into the picture. I couldn’t be happier that he was back to being the friend he always was to me, except of course, we were trying to cut down on the over friendliness that helped cause so many problems for us. It would be a long bumpy road as we figured out what wasn’t appropriate and changed that behavior but we both agreed that it would be for the best.

It was almost nine when Jordan appeared in the infants department at work. Freshly showered and shaved he looked good but really nervous. “Are you sure what I’m wearing is ok?” He asked me for the fifth time.

“No, it’s not.” I told him and watched as his face fell and he asked me what was wrong with it. “Nothing!” I laughed but I wanted to scream. “You look good, Bella is going to think you look hot but her brother is going to think you look like someone he would like to see his sister with. Now please go over there and stop bugging me!”

Jordan did as I asked, well half of it. He went where I told him but he couldn’t stop fidgeting. “I can’t believe how nervous I am,” he told me. “I know I’ve said it before but I really think that I mean it this time. I really want her brother to like me Anna.”

“I know Jordan,” I didn’t even look at him as I filled the baby food.

“She is so unlike most of the women I dated Anna. She actually laughs at my jokes and listens to my stories. And! She makes me laugh. Women don’t normally make me laugh.” I smiled as I listened to him. Even though I found it a little funny that he was acting like this about Bella when not that long ago he was declaring his love for me, I was happy to hear that Bella was becoming more and more important to him. “She’s so smart and funny and…”

“And what Jordan?” I turned to look at him; he was standing there with this strange look on his face. “Jordan?” I took a tentative step towards him.

“Anna?” He slowly looked in my direction, pure panic on his face.

“What Jordan?” I walked over to him and looked up at him. “What’s wrong Jordan?”

“Anna,” he spoke slowly as if he wasn’t sure what he was saying should be said. “I care for her more than I cared for Heather.”