I'm Loving It!

Knowing that Carol wasn’t completely clueless and actually helping out the police in their investigation against her husband made me see her in a whole other light. Maybe she’s not as bad as I think she is? I mean, she could be under a lot of pressure and stress because of whatever Phil is doing and being pregnant can’t be helping. I still can’t believe that the man she left Josh for, the man she claimed was better than him, is being investigated by the police. I almost felt sorry for her, to have her life unraveling under her nose.

I so wanted to tell Josh everything I found out from Zack and what I saw while I was out with the kids but I didn’t know if I should. Then again, if you don’t and he found out that you knew? It won’t help you get back in his life where you want to be. I was at a lost for what to do, so I went to Zack again as he got ready for work Monday morning.

“Absolutely not Anna!” Zack came out of his bathroom in just a towel waving the razor he held in his hand at me as he spoke. “You can’t tell Josh anything about this! I can’t have him doing something stupid because he doesn’t think Jesse is safe! The whole integrity of this investigation replies on nothing changing!”

“But I can’t keep anything from him Zack, especially not now!”

I swear Zack wanted to tear his hair out. “Listen Anna, I know you feel that you need to be as honest as possible with him because of what happened with Jordan but this is something you don’t know anything about! You only know 1% of what’s going on! I can’t have you running off and telling everyone about this, you could get Jesse hurt!” Zack came over to me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Do you want Jesse to be hurt?”

“No!” I cried, “And you are hurting me!”

“I’m sorry,” Zack released me. “Please don’t say anything to Josh.”

“For how long? When are you guys going to have enough to end this?”

Zack shrugged, “I wish I knew for sure but I don’t.”

I knew that my brother was just as upset with the situation as I was but it didn’t help, I just wanted everything to be over, I wanted Jesse to be with Josh because that was where he was the happiest.

When he left for work, Zack came down to make sure that I would keep quiet. “I know it’s hard for you Anna but trust me, I won’t let you down.”

So I trusted him, I promised him that I wouldn’t say anything to Josh, “I just hope he doesn’t get upset when he finds out.”

As the day went on, I tried hard not to think about what happened over the weekend, or the fact that I hadn’t heard from Josh in almost a week. I went from thinking that we were still ok, to thinking that he decided to move on without letting me know and even though I knew he wouldn’t do something like that, it didn’t stop me from thinking it.

I didn’t actually hear from Josh until Tuesday. I had just punched out for my break and was on my way to get something to eat when my cell phone rang. I can’t even begin to describe the nervous excitement that I felt when I saw his name on the caller ID. I answered my phone and tried to keep my voice normal but I knew it didn’t work.

“Hello Anna,” Josh said with a little chuckle. Oh God! He sounds so good! “How are you doing?”

I told him I was going great. “I’m actually on my way to take myself out for supper,” I said as I pushed through the doors at layaway.

He laughed and my heart melted, there was nothing sexier than hearing that man laugh, well nothing that’s not R rated. “Where are you taking yourself?”

“Oh I’m going all out and spoiling myself!” I laughed. “I’m heading to McDonalds here at work!”

“Wow that sounds really special.”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “I’m standing just outside their ‘doors’ right now, my taste buds are doing their dance of joy.”

“Then I guess I should let you go and enjoy your supper.”

“Oh,” my smile disappeared. “I guess if you have stuff you have to do…” I didn’t want him to go at all but he said he did have something he had to do.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” he told me before saying bye.

So I was a little sad when I got to the cashier, I told her what I wanted – Big Xtra with Cheese, no lettuce, extra onions with fries and coke – she punched it in. “Was that everything for you today?”

“Yes.”

“No,” I felt a hand on my back. “Add a double quarter pounder combo with super sized fries and coke please.”

I turned to stare up at the man that I just got off the phone with. “Josh?” I squeaked unintentionally as I gave him a hug. “What are you doing here?”

He just smiled down at me, his arm around my waist as he listened to the cashier read back our order. “Sounds good,” he told her and reached for his wallet.

“No, I –” I went to give her my bank card but Josh took it from me and handed the cashier $20. “Why don’t you go get us a table?” He asked as he slipped my card into the back pocket on my pants.

I nodded and went off to do exactly what he said, stopping to grab napkins, straws and ketchup on my way. I couldn’t for the life of me wipe the smile of my face; I couldn’t believe that he was there!

As I was sitting at the table waiting for Josh to come over, I saw a couple of the managers sitting at a table close by, having coffee. When Josh joined me I heard them say something like, “So that’s why she’s so happy” and “It’s good to see Anna smiling again.” I was so embarrassed, I hoped that Josh didn’t hear them but he did.

Turning in his chair, he glanced over at their table and smiled at them. “And she has such a beautiful smile too.”