Giving Me Hope That It'll Work

The entire time that I was in the car with Jess, he went back and forth between talking about going to his dad’s, being a big brother and wanting nuggets. “Ama?” Jess was looking straight at me when I glanced in the mirror. When I asked him what, he asked me if he could bring nuggets back for the baby.

I smiled, “Sorry Jess the baby is only going to want milk for a couple months, and then mommy will start the baby on food designed for babies.”

“Oh,” he frowned and then asked me if ‘Baby’ eats baby food.

“You mean Jenna?” He nodded and repeated ‘Baby’. “No Jess, Jenna eats the same food as you do! Remember the day of your party?”

“Oh yeah!” He giggled and then asked me if I was having a baby with daddy. “I good brother!”

I smiled at him, told him that we wouldn’t be having a baby any time soon but inside I was wondering if that moment would ever come for us.

Thankfully Jesse didn’t have too much time to ask any more questions, we had pulled into the parking lot of McDonalds and the first car he saw belonged to his dad. “I see daddy car Ama!” He said when I parked along side Josh’s car.

I walked into McDonalds with Jesse in my arms and headed for the front counter; I was almost there when I felt a hand on my arm, I turned to see Josh standing beside me. “I got us a seat over there,” he pointed to the back corner. “If you want to go sit down…” he trailed off as he glanced at the front counter. “I already got ketchup, straws and stuff,” he told me as he walked towards the counter.

Ok, I thought as I went to the table Josh pointed out. I guess I’ll just order my food when he gets back from getting theirs. I placed Jess on the bench and removed his jacket before I removed mine and sat next to him like he asked me too.

“Red stuff!” Jesse exclaimed as he reached for two of the little cups of ketchup Josh had on the table.

“No Jess,” I stopped him from grabbing them. “Let’s wait for your dad, ok?”

Jess looked at me like I told him Mister Bear ran away. “I want red stuff Ama,” he went to grab for them again and once again I stopped him.

“Wait for your dad,” I repeated and he plopped down in the bench and pouted. “Don’t do that,” I told him, he stuck his bottom lip out more and lowered his head. “Jess your dad is -”

“Here we go,” Josh slid a tray fill of food onto the table as he sat down across from me. “What’s wrong with him?” He asked, pausing in mid motion as he went to grab the kids meal bag to give to Jess.

I explained what happened just how with the ketchup and Josh shook his head. “Come on Jesse,” he reached into the bag and pulled out Jess’ nuggets, handing them to me. “Look what Anna got for you.”

Slowly Jess turned towards me, when he saw the nuggets a smile appeared on his face. “Jesse nuggets Ama?” He looked so hopeful that I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Of course,” I told him as I opened the bag and placed them in front of him. “And look,” Josh handed me fries for Jess. “You get fries too!”

“Yay!” He clapped his hands together and then went to pick up a fry; his smile wavered as he glanced at me. “Red stuff Ama?” I told him he could have it now as I slid two little cups closer to him. “Thanks,” he said, dipping his fry into the ketchup.

Once Jess was eating, I went to get up but stopped when Josh asked me where I was going. “Did I forget something?” He asked, motioning towards the box that I didn’t see him place in front of me. “You did want the Big Xtra, right?”

Maybe it was silly but I couldn’t help but smile like a complete fool when I realized that he not only ordered food for himself and Jess, he also ordered for me. “I didn’t realize…I mean…” I shook my head. “Thank you Josh.”

“No problem,” he told me and then added, “I figured that you two were just as hungry as I was so when I got here and you weren’t here, I just ordered for us.” He popped a fry into his mouth and then smiled, “The timing was pretty good too.”

I nodded but didn’t say anything as I started on my fries. While I eat, I tried not to ‘watch’ Josh as he sat across from me but when I noticed the whistle still around his neck, I frowned. “Were you still working?” I asked, noticing that he was still wearing the school t-shirt and zippered hoodie that he always wore while working.

He nodded. “I had just walked into my office when you called,” he told me as he took a sip of his pop. “Why do you ask?”

“Well,” I reached across the table, my finger hooking under the rope the whistle hung from. “You normally don’t wear this outside the school,” I told him with a smile.

“What?” He looked down and groaned. “I knew I was forgetting something when I left,” he went to take off the whistle but stopped, chuckling. “I have no where to put it if I take it off and…” he glanced at Jess who was no longer eating his nuggets and fries but trying to crawl up on the table, his eyes focused on the whistle. “Jesse sit down and finish your nuggets.”

“Daddy?” Jess pointed to the whistle and then held his hand out flat. “I play?”

Josh told him he couldn’t play with the whistle while they were inside. “But if you eat all your supper, then I might let you hold onto it when we get in the car.”

I raised a brow at Josh, knowing full well that Jess would try to blow in it if he had it in his hands. Josh met my gaze and smiled at me. “I know.” Then he changed the subject to ask me how I ended up with Jess. “I’ve been trying to figure that one out,” he told me. “But I’m confused. Did Carol call you?”

I shook my head, “I ran into Carol and Jess at work, they were shopping for…damn!” I held up on arm and glanced at my watch, it was almost 8. “I have to go back to work when I leave here,” I told him. “Carol asked me to pick up something for her,” when Josh gave me a confused look once again, I told him everything that happened. “So I made a couple promises to her, one I already did but the other…” I smiled at him and then laughed. “I never thought I would ever be doing her any favors.”

Josh agreed with me. “But it doesn’t surprise me,” he told me with a smile. “I believe you would do anything for anyone if they only asked, it doesn’t matter if they are your friends or not. You are just that nice.”

I laughed, “Or just that crazy!”

“No,” Josh shook his head. “You care about people, it’s one of the reasons I love you.”

“Josh,” I sighed.

“Anna,” he reached across the table to slip his hand around mine. “I’m sorry for my behavior this morning, I was being stupid, I knew you didn’t call because you thought I would be sleeping but I still…” he sighed. “I acted like a kid…”

I sighed, “You aren’t the only one guilty of doing that today,” I told him and then explained how I thought he was ignoring my calls because he was upset that I didn’t call him the night before.

“I wouldn’t do that,” he told me in a ‘no nonsense’ tone.

“I know that,” I told him. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

Silence settled over our table as I met his gaze.

I felt Jesse’s hand on my arm as he pulled himself up onto his feet next to me. “I sorry.”

Josh and I turned towards him. “What are you sorry about?” I asked him.

“I no?” He shrugged and then smiled when Josh and I laughed at him.

When we finished our meals, Josh and Jess walked me to my car. “I’m going to take Jesse to the hospital to see if Carol had the baby yet,” he told me as he held my car door opened.

“Oh ok,” I smiled at him. “I’m going to go finish my shopping and probably head home,” I laughed. “I think Mary must be wondering where I am with the stuff she wanted me to pick up for her.” I went to get into my car but hesitated. “Will you let me know how it goes?” Josh nodded. “Ok,” I turned my attention to Jess. “Have fun with daddy,” I told him, stretching up to kiss his cheek. “Tell the baby I said ‘hi’.”

“Otay Ama.”

I went to turn towards my car again but this time Josh stopped me. Before I realized what he was doing, he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for everything.”

I drove away from McDonalds that night feeling really happy with the way things turned out and excited about exploring ‘friendship’ with Josh.