The bell rang just as I opened the main door to walk into the building. It has been almost six years since I stepped foot on these ground, it all seemed so different now that I wasn’t a student.
I made my way down the long corridor to the common room and turned left. As I walked through the room I tried not to make eye contact with anyone but I couldn’t resist the urge to seek a peek around to see if I could see Cassie. It didn’t take long to spot her; all you had to do was look for the group with the most school jackets. She was sitting back on to me, so she didn’t see me but it helped to see her sitting there laughing with her friends.
I continued on my way towards the gym, which was just past the common room. The closer I got to it, the louder the calls and cheers from inside got. Once I stepped through those gym doors, I found that I wasn’t so upset anymore; it was weird that knowing I would see Josh in a few minutes helped make me feel better. I just hope he’s not mad I’m here.
A quick glance around the room was all it took to spot him, although I almost missed him. He was sitting halfway up one of the bleachers on the left. The reason I almost missed him was that he was among a couple students; he was talking about whatever was in the books that the kids had opened in their laps while he kept an eye on the kids playing on the floor.
Now that I could see him, I found I didn’t know if I wanted to bug him, was it really that important to have come here? I asked myself, it’s not like you won’t get to talk to him later tonight. If he sees you now, he’s only going to worry that there’s something wrong. I took one last look at him and I turned to leave.
“Aunt Anna, what are you doing here? Is everything ok?” Cassie stared up at me with concern written all over her face. Oh shit, I didn’t think she would see me.
I smiled, “Everything is fine Cass. I was…well…” I shrugged and pointed over my shoulder.
She went to look but then she stopped. “I don’t know why I need to look; you came to see Coach Baker, didn’t you?” I nodded, “Then why are you leaving so soon, the guys said you just got here. Is there something wrong Aunt Anna?”
“No,” I replied as I shook my head. “Josh is just busy; I didn’t think I should bother him after all.”
“I don’t think Coach would mind,” Cassie’s eyes flicked to something behind me. “Do you Coach?”
Josh chuckled as I half turned towards him, “Of course I don’t mind Cassie.” He smiled down at me, “hello Beautiful.”
Cassie quickly made some excuse to leave and after she was gone, Josh led me back to the bleachers where he was sitting before. All the students that were around him were now scattered throughout the bleachers, watching the guys on the court playing, so all that was left where he was sitting was a clipboard and his lunch.
“I wish I could take you into my office but I can’t leave the kids unsupervised.” He told me as we sat down. “I was kind of expecting to see you today. I looked towards the door so much; I think I was making the kids nervous.”
I watched Josh as he opened his lunch and pulled out the sandwich he had made for himself this morning along with the tomato slices he had put in a container so that they didn’t make the bread soggy. “Why were you expecting to see me?” I asked.
He spread his sandwich open to add the tomato to the lettuce, bacon and cheese that was already on the bread. Once he closed it back up, he held out half to me. “I figured you would go see what you could find out today, you did go see Jordan and Hank, right?”
“Thank you,” I took the half that he offered with a smile. “Yes, I did go see them. Jordan didn’t have much to say though; he enjoyed telling me very little too. But he is going to Heather’s after work to see if she’ll let him see Jenna before bed, so he’s happy.”
Josh nodded as he chewed on the piece it just bit off. For a brief moment, I swear I saw a little bit of jealousy in his eyes. “Is everything ok Josh?”
Again he nodded. “At first, I was worried that she wouldn’t let him see Jenna,” he told me after he swallowed what was in his mouth. “Now I’m jealous that he was able to without getting the legal system involved.”
“Thinking about Jesse?” I asked, knowing that it was a silly question.
He chuckled, “I never stop.”
I lifted my hand to his shoulder and rubbed it, “Josh I know you miss him but it won’t be much longer, he’s here this weekend, right?”
Josh leaned back against the bleacher behind him and stretched out. “Yeah, he should be here Saturday, unless Walter and Roy have some good news for me tonight when I meet with them.”
I was a little surprised at this; he didn’t mention that he was meeting with them to me before this. “Oh, I didn’t know you were meeting with them.”
He turned his head towards me, he was frowning. “Yeah, we were going over to my parents place for dinner, remember?”
I shook my head, “No Josh I don’t. You didn’t tell me and I already have plans for tonight.”
Josh sat back up, “You aren’t coming to my parents’ house for dinner?”
“No Josh, you didn’t tell me and I made plans with Jordan.”
“Well cancel them,” he told me.
“No!” I stared at him, “If you wanted me to go with you, you should’ve told me about it.” I turned away from him, “I can’t believe you would even suggest I drop everything.”
“I figured you would seeing you know how important getting my son is to me,” I felt his hand on the small of my back as he leaned in closer to me. “Anna, I thought it was important to you too.”
I looked at him; his face was so close to mine. “It is important to me Josh and so is helping Jordan.”
Josh sighed and sat back again, “Ok I’ll just call mom and tell her that you can’t make it. She’ll be disappointed though, and probably won’t understand why.”
“Look Josh, I told you I wasn’t dropping my plans with Jordan so don’t try to make me feel guilty.”
He glanced at me, “What were you doing with Jordan?”
“Something we haven’t done for a real long time, talk.”
Josh nodded, “So that’ll take the whole night?”
I sighed, “He’ll get home around 7 he said, if Heather lets him see Jenna.”
“Anna,” Josh turned back to me. “Dinner is at 5, you can still come for it, if you want. You don’t have to stick around afterwards, but I would really like you to be there with me.”
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17 comments:
Good Morning Everyone!
I'm glad most people like the new background color...personally I liked the black but I didn't want my blog to cause anyone to hurt themselves ~s~
I'm not sure, but I'm assuming the 'hysterical much' comment had something to do with the reaction to Hank's drunk driving accident. Well I don't know about most people, but for me, it's a very real reaction to the situation. I'm a very emotional person, people know if I'm upset or happy. I've spent way too many years trying to hide too much from the ones around me and it has had some negative effects. One of those effects is the inability to gauge what is over reacting and what isn't. ~shrugs~ I don't apologize for any of the over the top reactions or emotions in this blog.
Although, I will apologize for the use of symbols that not many seemed to recognize! If you don't understand something I use or if you have any questions, please don't hestiate to say something. I tend to live by the motto that the only dumb questions are the ones not asked.
Well I hope everyone has a great day! ~s~
Hi Anna, the only complain that I have is that I don't get enough of your blog, but I guess that's a good thing, I really can't find anything wrong with your blog but then again, I'm addicted your blog. I am especially happy that you have to and they both ROCK!!
Can't wait till the next post!!!
G
PS - I love the black background too, this one shocked me!!
Great post as always. I hope Anna doesn't go with Josh. She needs to make time for herself and her friends. I don't mean to sound selfish its just I don't want her losing everything of HER with him. Just my 2cents. I thought her reaction was normal for someone who had her experience.
I'm sorry Anna I HATE this new background! I LOVED the black and this looks like a cloudy day and I find it depressing. I love the way the colors stood out on the background and now they just sort of blend together. Arite, that was my rant for the day. Now I have to say I loved the entry and I swear to god if Anna stands up Jordan, I'd never forgive her. Why does Josh not understand she had a life before him and can't just jump when he asks??
Hey Anna!
I've been reading your blog from the very beginning and I absolutely love it. I've never left a comment before but I had to chime in on the background. I will read the blog no matter what...of course...but I have to say I must be the oddball here. The black background didn't bother me at all and I find the grey to be hard on the eyes.
I'm also a very emotional person so I can relate to the reactions in this blog. Everyone that knows me, knows they can count on me to be open with my emotions!! I'm glad you're not apologizing for any of the "over the top reactions" in this blog.
Sandra
GO BACK TO BLACK OR TRY OUT ANOTHER COLOR CAUSE I REALLY DONT LIKE THIS NEW COLOR... IT MAKES ME FEEL NOT SO HAPPY.. LIKE MAHREEN SAID ITS CLOUDY.. LOVED THE POST!!
Anna,
DEVIL's ADVOCATE COMMENTS COMING: While it is so true Josh should have asked you about dinner at his parents, and he shouldn't ask that you cancel your plans with Jordan, I think you should both compromise. Let Josh know that his concerns are yours, and you support him in everyway, but he needs to learn to ask for your time and not assume you will rearrange your schedule every time he asks last minute. If his parent's home isn't too far from Jordan's, tell him you will go to dinner, but he must explain to his parents (prior to your arrival) that he sprung dinner on you at the last minute and you still need to attend to a previous committment directly after dinner. If you do this, you are setting boundaries and letting him know your limits and that you indeed care. It seems to me his concerns really are yours, so this doesn't seem like much of a compromise. You don't want to drag out an argument that could easily be resolved. Thoughts?
Anna;
I love your blog and everything and I also think that you can attend both Josh and Jordan but making Josh promisse to you that he won't do the same thing again, he has to undestand that you have a life and that he is an important part in it, but that you can't drop everything for because of him.....
By the way, I liked black too, the only font color that hurt me with the black background is red so....I don't care what color you use, I read the blog anyway, but if you go back to black, please don't write red words.
thanks
XOXO
I also liked the black! Josh is being very presumptious that she will be there & do whatever he says - very controlling! I also think Anna should be able to both this ONE time. I would make it known that if he pulls the last minute card again, she won't change a thing!
Good time for a double??? :)
Stacey
Anna, this blog is really very interesting. I really enjoy reading it a lot. And you are right, you really shouldn't have to apologize for your emotions. I can totally understand where you are coming from. I'm a very emotional person myself. I don't really like to keep my emotions to myself, and for a while I would make apologies for them but now I'm slowly learnig that its ok. So I just want you to know that I can totally relate to what you write and I see myself doing the same thing, and realize that its ok. So thank you!! :-) I like black too...by the way!!
I agree with heather. That would be a great way to deal with this issue. I also agree with Stacey, If he pulls it again, she should NOT go for it.
I liked the black background too. This one is a little too light. But, either way, I'll continue to read the blog cause I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT!!!
Vikki
PS. Emotional People UNITTE!!! ~g~
Anna,
I'll read the blog no matter what color it comes in! LoL You can't make everyone happy, so you should just do the background in whatever color you want to! I know I won't stop reading it if goes back to black, or someother color!
~~Lizzie~~
OK! I admit it! I was one that complained about the black background. Though I admit this color is easier for me to read, you can have a polka-dot background and I'll find a way to read this blog. So be yourself, and we'll all adapt.
Great read today!
well i love the new backround color and frankly it's MUCH MUCH MUCH EASIER TO READ. so the people can either strain their eyes and stop complaining or they can deal with a 'clouty color' and stop complaining, because anna doesn't HAVE to do anything, she was just trying to make it a little easier on us. is it not enough she posts EVERY SINGLE DAY for our enjoyment, sometimes twice? anyways. i'm starting to think that josh is sticking around for zach and getting jesse back.. along with the constant booty calls.. plus the fact that he just TOLD her she needs to stop her plans with someone else is not a good sign, maybe a sign of why carol left? hmmm.. foreshadowing, i love it!
I've just started reading this blog - its really great! Good post :)
I just started reading this blog and am thoroughly hooked! I have to admit that I've had some problems reading the blog when the colors are light (i.e. yellow) with this background and have had to highlight the section to be able to see it. Once I'm done reading, there is a white spot in front of me when I look away....
Anyhow, I think that Anna should set boundaries in her relationships with BOTH Jordan and Josh. They both need to understand that she has her own identity. I'm glad to see that she is starting to deal with her issues about her parents' deaths, and that she and Josh are trying not to take things to quickly. Dramatic situations sometimes force intimacy that may not have happened in normal situations. Just a thought.
Okay, I came back to check for a post, and my eyes hurt as soon as I looked at the page....Is there any happy medium for the background?
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