Let The Truth Set You Free

An alcoholic? I stood there frozen in place. Of all the things Hank could’ve admitted, that was the one thing that I was the least prepared for. So many thought were running through my mind, so many things I wanted to say and do but I couldn’t do anything but cling to Jenna. “You haven’t had a drink in a year?” I heard myself asking. Hank nodded. “Why did you stop?” I knew it was none of my business but I needed to know.

Heather returned to Hank’s side and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her tight before answering my question. “I was drunk when Heather went into labor, I got behind the wheel despite her objections and I drove us right into a ditch. Luckily no one was hurt and I promised Heather that I would get help.”

I could feel the room start to shift, I felt like I was about to faint but there was this voice inside my head that just kept screaming at me to yell at him, to tell him how stupid and irresponsible he was. It was also the same voice that told me that the outcome could’ve been a lot different that night; they could’ve all been killed. And Jordan would’ve never known he had a little girl.

“Anna?” I could hear Hank’s voice coming through the noise in my head. “Are you ok?” He asked me as I looked up at him.

Or I tried to look up at him but I found I couldn’t do it. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I held Jenna out to Heather. “I have to…” My voice trailed off as I spun around and grabbed my jacket on the way to the door.

“Anna! Wait!” Hank came up behind me; he placed his hand on the door so I couldn’t open it.

“Let me out,” I told him.

“Just tell me what’s wrong, please?”

I shook my head, “No I need to go.”

“Anna please, you are the only friend I have in this town. If I’ve upset you, please tell me.”

“Hank just let her go.” Heather called from the kitchen and I glanced at her.

So did Hank. “I just want to know what’s wrong.”

“I can tell you,” Heather said as she made her way over to us. “Anna is freaked out by the accident and the fact that you were drunk when you were driving. Isn’t that right?”

I nodded, “You could’ve killed them.”

“I know Anna, that’s why I stopped drinking. I didn’t want to hurt them or anyone else.”

“But you drove last night,” I whispered.

He dropped his hand, “I wanted help.”

I gripped the door knob and turned it, pulling the door opened. “Yeah and I only wanted my parents to come home but they didn’t; a drunk driver killed them.” His jaw dropped, I could see the look of shock in his eyes, he went to say something but I stopped him. “I can’t be around you right now Hank.” I stepped though the doorway. “I’ll call you soon but for now, I need you to stay away.”

I ran down to my car and jumped in, I was so shaken by what he said. I knew that it shouldn’t upset me this much but Zach always told me I was over dramatic.

I drove around for a while, it was only 11 and I didn’t have anywhere that I needed to be. I found myself turning down a road that I didn’t think I would be traveling that day. Making a right, I pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car.

I fought my way through the snow, through the many rows of unknown people that shared a common resting place with my parents. Just over the tiny hill, I stopped and stared at the marker ahead of me. I didn’t come here that often, I found it hurt too much to be this close to them and not have them around to hug me and tell me that things would be ok. But today I felt that I needed to see them, to be there and hopefully gain some sort of grip on the emotions that Hank stirred up when he told me what he did.

Hey mom and dad, I thought as I ran my fingers over the cold marble that displayed for the entire world to see, the personal lives of the people I missed so much. Sure it only really held their names, dates of birth and death, and the words ‘and you shall remain so full of life in the hearts of your children’.

I stood there just touching their headstone; it was like I was unable to speak. I love you two and I miss you every day. Lately things seem so complicated and I don’t know what to do. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the stone. I cried, for what seemed like forever but when I lifted my head, I felt better than I had in a long time. I have to go mom and dad, I’ll be back to visit.

While I was leaning against the stone, I felt like there was somewhere that I was supposed to be, that there was somewhere I should go. So once again, I hopped in my car and found myself heading towards another place that I didn’t think I would end up that day.