Misery Loves Company

I wasn’t in my room long before there was a knock at my door. He needs my advice after all, I thought as I shot up in bed. “Come in!” The smile I had on my face faded when I saw who was at the door.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” I replied as I shrugged my shoulders and fell back against my bed.

“Huh, I know I’m not the one you wanted to be coming to talk to you right now but you are my friend too. Or did you forget that?”

I admittedly felt like crap. “I’m sorry Nick,” I sat up and patted the empty space beside me. When he was comfortably sitting down, I turned to him. “I’m just not used to you wanting to talk about anything, you always talk to Amy, which you should.” I sighed. “You just never need my friendship as much as Jordan has.”

He nodded, “I know but tonight I do.”

“So what’s on your mind? And why can’t you talk to Amy? Is everything ok between you two?” I was suddenly very worried, I didn’t know if I could handle him telling me that they were having problems.

Nick leaned his head back against the wall and looked at me. “Amy and I are doing fine. She was tired so she went to lie down in the guest room, was that ok?” I nodded. “Good, I think we’ll just stay here tonight because I know she won’t want to wake up when I I’m ready to go.”

Again, I nodded. “It’s ok Nick. So tell me what’s on your mind.”

He took a moment to get his thoughts together, or at least that’s what it seemed like he was doing. Finally he spoke, “You know this thing with Jordan tonight has totally thrown me off kilter.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not supposed to be a father.”

I looked at him in disbelief, “What?”

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be a father, not him.”

“Nick, you are going to be a father. Amy is pregnant.”

“I know!” He completely turned to face me, “Listen out of my brothers and me, I’m the only one in a stable relationship and honestly, I’m the only one who wants to be a father. But now that we find out that Jordan has a daughter, it’s like my whole existence is null and void. He’s stolen the one thing that set me part from him. Jordy a father?” Nick shook his head and laughed, “It’s like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone!”

I was shocked at what Nick was saying; I’ve never heard him ever get on like this, like he was jealous of Jordan. “So you realize how silly you sound right now?”

Nick rolled his eyes, “Of course you would think that, you’ve always been more of Jordan’s friend than mine.”

“Nicholas! That is so not true!”

“Oh whatever!” Nick jumped off the bed, “The only time I ever see you is when I come over to see Jordan. Do you have any idea when the last time we spent time together?”

I shook my head, “No I don’t know Nick. And besides what does this have to do with anything?”

“When Amy and I broke up for those five horrible months when we were 17, that was the last time you had time for me!” Nick must have realized that he was almost yelling, for the next words he said were much lower. “What do I have to do for you to be my friend Anna? Be a whiny loser like my brother?”

“Nick!” I grabbed his arm, “First off, Jordan isn’t a whiny loser and you know it! Secondly, you know damn well that I’ve backed off from being around you as much as I used to because that’s what Amy wanted! And you know why too! So don’t get there and pretend that you are being treated unfairly by me. Now, do you really want to talk about something or do you just want to yell at me because you are jealous that Jordan has a one year old daughter that he didn’t even know about until tonight!”

Nick stood there staring at me, his mouth opened as if he had something to say but he closed it again.

“Nick do you realize how silly you being jealous of Jordan is? You know Amy is pregnant, you get to be there for every single moment of your baby’s life; Jordan has missed out on so much of Jenna’s life. He didn’t have the chance to see her being born, to hear her first words, to see her crawl or start to walk. He missed all the milestones, he missed so much time that he can never get back. Are you really jealous of that?”

He shook his head, “No, I’m not.”

“I know that you have always done everything first, and you know what? That hasn’t changed. Sure you may not have given your parents their first grandchild but you still have so many firsts to experience.”

“Why is it that talking to you makes me feel guilty and then happy again?”

I laughed, “Because I’m just that good of a friend.”

“Come here,” Nick grabbed my hands and pulled me into his arms. “Hey, maybe I can’t give my parents their first granddaughter, but maybe a grandson?”

I looked up at him, “Is Amy having a boy?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Ahhh, it doesn’t matter either. I’m going to be a dad and I can’t wait!”

“Good!” I smiled. “But in the meantime, you get to be an uncle.”

Nick’s eyes went wide, “I never thought I would be one of those,” he whispered.

We must have talked for at least another hour about Jordan’s situation, wondering if Heather would let him see Jenna, or if she would try to keep her from him. We both agreed that we hoped she didn’t try to stop him; Jordan didn’t take no very well.

It was almost 1 by the time Nick decided that he was going to turn in, we said good night and he gave me another hug as he thanked me for being there for him. After he disappeared into the spare room, I was so tempted to head out to the living room and see what Josh and Jordan were talking about. What I really wanted was to be a part of the conversation. Just like Nick was jealous that Jordan was a father before him, I was jealous that Jordan preferred to talk to Josh about this than me. I understood why, even more since I told Nick about all the things that Jordan missed out on. Even though Josh knew about Jess, he still missed out on most of the moments of his life, little moments that mattered the most.

I resisted going down the hall to interrupt, instead I changed into my pjs and crawled back into bed.

The sound of my bedroom door being slowly pushed open woke me from my sleep two hours later. Josh closed the door behind him and quietly made his way over to my bed. I watched him as he tugged off his shirt and undid his pants to slip them off. He leaned down and grasped the end of my blankets, lifting them so he could slip under them.

I was about to let him know that I was awake when he slipped his arms around me pulling me back against his body. “Anna?” His voice was but a whisper in my ear and it made me shiver.

“Yes Josh?”

He kissed the back of my neck and then my shoulder, “I’m glad you are awake.”

Half turning towards him, I raised a brow, which he couldn’t see. “Is everything ok?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Jordan had a lot of questions and I found myself telling him the whole story with my own fight to see my son. It’s the first time I actually felt like my situation was helping someone.”

I kissed his forearm which was lying loosely across my throat. “I’m glad you and Jordan finally had a chance to talk.”

“He’s not as bad as I thought he would be.” Josh moved his arm that was by my neck, out from under me and he pushed himself up on his elbow. “You know, we even talked about us.”

“Oh? What did he say?”

“He apologized for being a jerk, told me he was only trying to protect you. He also told me that he does love you but no where close to the way I seem to love you.” Josh kissed my forehead, “He told me that you are his best friend and without you, he doesn’t think he’d be where he is today.”

Sadly I laughed at that, “No he would be none the wiser that he fathered a child.”

“Anna, Jordan is nervous but excited about the fact that he has a daughter. He was a little worried about you when we first started to talk and when we were done he asked me to say something to you.”

I waited but Josh didn’t continue. “What? He wanted you to think of something to say on your own?”

“No,” Josh chuckled. “He wanted me to say, “Babe you’re awesome, you always know just what I need before I do. Thanks for everything’.”

I shook my head. “Is it silly that I feel like crying right now?”

Josh crawled over me and pulled me into his arms, “Nope it’s not silly.”

I pressed my face against Josh’s chest, laughing and crying as he held me tight.