Talk About A Conversation Stopper

All conversation seemed to stall at that moment, the room went from being so noisy that you couldn’t hear yourself think, to dead quiet. Everyone’s attention was on Josh and Walter; everyone was wondering the same thing, is he bringing Josh good news or bad news?

Josh looked unsure of what to do as he glanced back and forth between his mom and Walter.

“Do see what Walter wants Joshua,” His mother reached up to touch his arm. “We can talk after.” Helen didn’t have to tell him twice, Josh left his mother’s side and disappeared from the room with Walter.

The moment they left the room erupted in conversation again; everyone seemed to be talking about the custody situation. I tried to block it all out, not because I didn’t want to hear what they had to say, I was more concerned about how Josh was doing. And Jesse, I turned my attention to Jesse who was looking very confused as he heard his parents names in everyone’s conversations. I stood up and excused myself from the table, not that anyone was really paying any attention to me, and went over to where Jesse was.

“Hey sweetie,” I knelt by his chair. “How is your lunch? Did you need anything?”

“Ama?” Jess turned to me, “Where daddy?” Smiling, I told him that his dad had to go talk to the man that was just here. “Is daddy bad?”

“No sweetie, they just have to talk about some stuff that can’t wait.”

Jess thought about this for a second before he motioned for me to come closer. When I leaned in so he could speak in my ear he asked me if the man was here to take him away.

I sat back on my heels; I was surprised at his question. “Of course not Jesse!” Once I got over the initial shock, I gathered him in my arms and gave him a tight squeeze, “No one here wants to take you away, everyone wishes you were around all the time.”

Jesse gave me a little kiss on the cheek and returned to his lunch like nothing had happened.

Not long after I returned to my chair, Josh came back into the dining room and sat down next to me. I wanted to ask him if everything was ok but by the way he was sitting I knew that something was wrong and he didn’t want to talk about it. So I did all I could do without questioning him and possibly upsetting him. Moving closer to his side, I laid my hand on his back, lovingly stroking up and down his spine as I continued to eat my lunch.

“Did Walter leave Joshua?” His mother inquired.

Josh nodded but didn’t look up from his plate, “Yes mom he did. He said something about having plans to go visit his daughter.”

He didn’t say anything else and I got the feeling that everyone was expecting him to just blurt out what happened. What the hell is wrong with these people? Don’t they know that he needs some time to think about what was said before he talks about it? I knew it was wrong of me to think like that but it was obvious that whatever Walter said wasn’t good, and Josh would talk about it when he was ready.

The conversation around the table stuck to light subjects and as time slowly went by I could feel Josh start to relax under my hand. We were waiting for dessert when Josh reached out his hand to slide it around me. “Thank you,” he whispered against my ear.

“You’re welcome,” I smiled up at him. “You were pretty tense.”

He nodded as he pulled my chair closer to his. “I was hoping for something better than what he had to tell me,” he said in a low voice that I could barely even hear.

“Oh,” I frowned. “Walter had some bad news?”

Josh shook his head slightly, “No not really. He wanted to know if I really fired Roy. I told him I did, I told him that I didn’t trust Roy at all, that he wasn’t giving me anything I didn’t already know.”

“Was Walter upset with this?” I couldn’t figure out why he would make a trip here just to talk about the private investigator.

“No, he was actually relieved. He told me that he advised my father that hiring him wouldn’t help us out any but dad was so certain it would help.”

“So that’s all he came here for? To talk about Roy?”

“Well,” Josh glanced around the room, his gaze fell upon Jesse and that’s where it stayed. “He had some papers for me to sign. I told him today that I want an investigation into Jesse’s life with Carol; there is no reason my son should be that afraid to go home every single time. I’m tired of it and I’m so worried about what it’s doing to him mentally; it can’t be good Anna. Hell I can’t even handle it when he cries out like that; it rips me to shreds to hear it. And just knowing that I can’t do anything to stop it?” A low growl came from deep in his throat. “If I even try to keep him with me, I could have criminal charges pressed against me and I can’t have that; I can’t do anything to risk losing him.” Josh was shaking as he finished.

“Honey,” I caressed his cheek. “This will work out, they will do an investigation and find that his home life with Carol isn’t healthy, you will get full custody.”

He closed his eyes, “There’s something else Anna. Something Walter said that had me worried.”

“What is it Josh?”

Sighing, he opened his eyes again. “Walter told me that he came over here because he wanted to tell me something,” he paused once again look in Jesse’s direction. “He got a call from Carol’s lawyer, a curtsey call I guess so he knows what’s going to happen.”

“What did he say?”

“He said that Carol’s lawyer said that she is talking about changing the custody agreement. Walter said that Don, Carol’s lawyer, told him that he advised Carol not to go ahead with what she was planning.” Josh groaned as he lifted his hand to his temple.

“Did he say what she was planning on doing?” Josh shook his head. “Well maybe it’s not so bad?” I asked hopefully.

“Not so bad?” Josh chuckled, “Obviously you have no idea just how bad it can be Anna. I’m talking about my son here, there’s no way I’m going to let that bitch take anymore time away from me.” He chuckled again, muttering under his breath. “Not so bad? Maybe if you have no feelings at all and it doesn’t disrupt your world, it isn’t so bad.”

I sat back in my chair and stared at him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” he went to reach for me but I moved away from his hands.

“No, tell me what you meant.” I took a deep breath to try and stop from showing how upset I was at that comment. “I’ll have you know I do have feelings. It kills me to see Jesse that upset when he leaves you, and to see you hurting like that as well.”

“Anna,” Josh reached for me again but this time I jumped up from the table.

“You may be his father and it may seem like no one knows what you are going through. But do you honestly think you are the only one who is frustrated by this?” I asked him but I didn’t stop to let him reply. “You have how many people in this room who would give anything to change this for you? Anyone in here would bleed if it meant you’d gain full custody.” I could feel everyone’s attention on me but that didn’t stop me from continuing my rant. “I didn’t realize that trying to be optimistic and hoping for the best until you found out what was going on was such a bad thing. But you can be damn sure I won’t make that mistake again.” I turned on my heel and stormed out of the dining room.

I didn’t stop when I heard Josh call out to me, nor did I stop when I got to the living room. I continued on down the hall to the front door. I was in the middle of putting on my jacket when Josh spun me around to face him.

He stared down at me, his eyes darkened by his anger. “Don’t do that!” He yelled at me.

“Don’t yell at me!” I yelled back at him.

His lip started to twitch as a smile threatened to take over; his anger seemed to melt away enough that his eyes weren’t so icy anymore. “Please don’t walk out on me,” he begged.

A Lightheaded Good Old TIme

Lunch at Josh’s parents house wasn’t as nerve wrecking as I thought it would be, everyone was nice to me. I guess I really didn’t expect it to be any other way deep down but you know the nervous feeling is normal. Or so I’m told.

Jesse didn’t leave my side for very long after he gave Erin that dirty look. It seemed that no other child was allowed to be up with me at all. Even when Megan started to crawl up in my lap after Josh got up to do something for his mother, Jesse came running over and almost pushed her out of the way.

“Jesse,” I stopped him. “It’s not nice to push.”

“I sorry Ama,” he stared up at me, his arms held out to me. “Hug?” I picked him up, hugged him tight as I blew against his neck, making a ‘farting’ noise. Jesse giggled, “Again Ama!” He tilted is head so I could do it again.

“Oh that’s just nasty,” Josh laughed as he returned to sit next to us.

“Ama do daddy!” Jesse giggled as he pointed to his dad.

Josh turned to me, “Yes please,” he whispered.

I didn’t even stop to think that his family was sitting around the living room, watching us. I leaned in to him, my lips brushed against his neck. “Mmm,” his moan vibrated in his throat as he tried not to be too loud. Lifting my hand, I softly caressed his cheek as my lips moved against his neck. I wanted to feel him against me so badly. If Jesse wasn’t on my lap I would’ve pulled Josh down on me or crawled onto his lap.

“Make noise Ama!” Jesse tugged at my arm, bringing me all the way out of the fog that I was in. Glancing up at Josh, I saw in his eyes the same feelings that I was experiencing. I didn’t want to make the noise against his neck, I wanted to continue to kiss it but I had no choice. Moving into his neck again, I opened my mouth against his warm skin and blew as hard as I could; he cracked up laughing.

“That feels so weird!”

“Me Ama!” Jesse was bouncing on my lap, already giggling. When I went to move in to do it to him again, he tilted his head so I couldn’t.

Soon I had Megan standing in front of me. “Me too?” She asked in a very soft voice.

“No!” Jess threw his arms around me, “My Ama!”

Megan’s little lip started to quiver, “Please?”

“Jess come on, let Megan have a turn.” Josh tried to take Jesse from me but he held on tight, “Jess, let go of Anna.”

“No daddy,” Jesse buried his face against my chest.

I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to make Megan feel left out, it wouldn’t be nice. But I didn’t want Jesse to feel jealous, I didn’t want him to lay claim to me like this. I turned to Josh and he shrugged, “I don’t know Anna.” I glanced around the room at his family, Tim was trying to get Megan to go over to him but she just stood there with her head tilted waiting for me. It wasn’t until my eyes traveled over Erin lying on the floor that I had an idea.

Sliding to the floor in front of the chair, I leaned over and laid Jesse on his back while I tried to get him to let go. “Come on Jess,” I whispered in his ear. “Let Megan join in, I promise it’ll be just as fun.” He looked skeptical at first but he slowly let me go. I turned to Megan, who moved in closer, offering me her neck. Wrapping my arms around her, I blew against her neck while I laid her on the floor next to Jess. “Ah ha ha!” I laughed as I stared down at them. They both looked up at me, waiting for me to move again. I leaned down and blew on each of their necks, tickling the other as they waited.

A good half hour of that and I was so thankful when Helen came in to tell us all that lunch was ready. Josh and Matt came and took the kids to get them something to eat before the adults got there. I was sitting on the floor still, leaning against the chair, trying hard not to pass out, my head hurt.

“Hey,” I glanced up as Rob knelt down beside me. “Are you ok? You look a little pale.” I nodded and told him I was just getting my bearings. “You are great with the kids Anna,” he smiled at me. “And with my brother, I haven’t seen him this happy…ever.”

I smiled, I couldn’t help it. “Thanks Robbie. Josh is a great guy, I’m so lucky he’s in my life.”

He excused himself to go see where Sandy was but not before he told me that it was his pleasure to be turned down for his brother.

I was chuckling still when Josh came back to get me. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” I said as he helped me up. “I was just remembering how we met,” I gave him a kiss. “I’m glad I made that mistake that night.”

“Me too.”

We went into the kitchen, grabbed a couple plates and started to pick out what we wanted to eat. Soon we were seated at one of the tables that were set up in the dining room; I didn’t realize until I looked around the dining room, just how big his parents’ house was. I mentioned it to Josh and he smiled. “Honey when it’s just my parents or a few people, they have the partition across.” He pointed to a spot halfway down each side of the room. “The part that we are in right now, if the actual dining room; the other part is only used when we need more space; it’s normally used as a storage area. Although,” he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. “Once the weather gets warm again, we won’t be eating in here much at all. Mom kicks us all outside.” Josh went on to tell me about the many different meals and events they gather at here for. “We are a close family Anna, if we can be together, we will be.”

Just hearing him say that made me smile, I knew his family was important to him; it was very obvious to anyone who was around them. “It’s the way it should be Josh, you can never take it for granted.”

He looked down at me, “I don’t Anna.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me near. “Can you picture yourself being a part of this?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. It was true, I could.

Jesse called out to Josh at that moment, so he got up to see to him. I watched him as he tended to Jesse. Yes, I can picture myself here, I thought absently as I played with his grandmother’s necklace that hung around my neck. I can’t wait to be more involved with these people, I let my gaze glide over the many faces of his family. When I got to his mother, I noticed she was staring at me; her mouth was opened in shock.

Two things happened at that moment.

The doorbell rang and Tim disappeared to answer it.

Helen called out for Josh to go over to her.

“Yes mom?” Josh asked as Tim came back with Walter close behind him.

“I need to talk to you,” both Helen and Walter spoke at the same time.

I Walk The Line

I was nervous. Who could blame me? It’s not everyday that I got invited to Josh’s parents house for lunch, with the entire family! That’s right, everyone was going to be here, all Josh’s brothers and sisters and their families. Just the sheer number of people that is overwhelms me. Even with my brothers and their family plus my friends, it doesn’t even add up to half Josh’s family.

“How do I look?” I stood in front of Josh and Jesse who have been sitting on the couch waiting for me for the last 20 minutes.

“Booful!” Jesse exclaimed.

Josh grinned, “That’s what I was going to say,” he stood up and came to me. “Anna you look amazing,” he gave me a kiss on the lips.

“I normally don’t take that long to get ready,” I told him. “But,” I sighed. “I’m nervous Josh, what if they don’t like me?”

“Of course they’ll like you,” he pulled me into his arms. “Honey you already know most of my family and they all like you.” I looked away, “Don’t worry Anna, you’ll be great.”

I thanked him with a kiss, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The nervous feeling I had seemed to grow the closer I got to his parents house. Come on, you can do this! You’ve met lots of people before and you haven’t done anything too stupid. Besides, Josh is right, you do know most of his family already.

We didn’t waste any time sitting in his car when we got to the house, Jesse was anxious to see everyone again. “You’ll be great,” Josh whispered in my ear as he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open.

“I play daddy,” Jesse wiggled to get down before we even stepped into the house.

“Hold on, let’s remove your boots first.” Josh placed Jess on the bench by the door and began to remove his boots.

“Hello Uncle Josh,” a high pitched male voice said from behind us but when we turned to look all we saw was a giggling baby girl being held over the partition by some very male hands.

Jesse giggled, “Look at baby daddy!”

“I see her Jesse,” Josh shook his head, smiling.

“Are you ignoring me Uncle Josh?” The voice asked, I smiled as I watched whoever was holding the baby, bounce her gently. She was having a ball giggling.

Josh lifted Jess down from the bench and he took off down the hall. “Papa? I here Papa!” He called as he went.

“Un-cle Jos-sh! I have a present for you!” Came the voice again.

Josh laughed, “Oh yeah?” He made his way over to the baby. “Come here sweetheart,” he picked her up and kissed her cheek. “Sorry your daddy is a goof!”

“Hey!” The guy who was holding the baby leaned out over the partition and made a move to swat Josh but he had already stepped out of the way.

Josh turned towards me, still talking to the baby. “Erin, I’d like to introduce you to someone special.” When he held out his hand to me, I took it. “This is Anna,” he told Erin. “Anna, this is my niece,” he then nodded to the guy who was staring at me with this goofy grin on his face. “Rob’s daughter.”

“Hey sweetie,” I stepped closer to Erin and held out my hand, which she took in hers. Well she actually gripped my pinky. “Aren’t you cute?”

“Yeah,” Robbie agreed. “She takes after me.”

Josh laughed out loud and I just smiled at him. When I knew Robbie before, he had features similar to Josh, obviously. But now, I couldn’t get over how much they looked alike. I tried not to look at Robbie too long though; I didn’t know if Josh would understand why I was looking at him.

“Aren’t you going to say hello Anna?” Robbie asked, then he chuckled, “Or are you ashamed to admit that you know me?”

“Of course she is,” a female voice cut in before I can say anything. It wasn’t until she slid in next to Robbie that I realized I knew her. Oh my god! The punk wanna be! I guess I didn’t hide my surprise that well because Robbie told me to stop trying to catch flies – in other words, close my mouth.

“It’s good to see you two again,” I smiled at them.

While we were having this little exchange Josh was talking to Erin, I wasn’t really paying much attention to what he was saying until, “Rob!”

“I told you she had a present for you!” Robbie started to laugh as he held out his hands for his daughter. “Here, let me go change her.”

Josh wrapped his arms around Erin, “No. You gave her to me, where’s her bag?” Josh walked off into the living room. “Where’s Erin’s diaper bag?”

“Hey Josh get back here!” Robbie took off after him. “Don’t give him the bag!”

I stared after them, “Okay.”

Beside me Sandy laughed, “It’s always the same with them. Rob always tells Josh Erin has a present for him, thinking Josh will just hand her back to him. He never does.”

“Hey Anna?” Sandy turned to me. “Can I ask you something?”

I nodded, “Sure. What’s up?”

She hesitated for a moment. “How far did your relationship with Rob go?”

“What?”

“I know he told me that I shouldn’t worry about it but you are the only one he doesn’t talk about. It sounds crazy, I know but I like to know if you ever slept with my husband.”

I was taken back by this, I never in my life thought anyone would ask me point blank about any guy I knew. But in this case, I didn’t mind at all, I had nothing to hide. “Sandy I can tell you in all certainty that I’ve never even shared a bed with Rob.” I grinned as I remembered that the night I said 'what the hell' and went to join Rob in bed, I ended up with Josh.

“What?” Sandy asked me, “Why are you smiling like that?”

I looked at her, I wasn’t sure if I should revealed my past with Josh because I didn’t know how he felt about people knowing that he showed feelings for me while he was still married. So I said as much as I could without revealing that fact, “The summer that I hung out with Rob was the first time I met Josh. I was just remembering how I felt when I first saw him.”

Sandy nodded, “When Rob told me that you were dating Josh, I was a little shocked; he’s just so much older than we are. And not only in age, he acts older too.”

“I love him,” I told her.

“Oh Anna!” Rob came back out where we were and threw his arm around both his wife’s shoulders and mine. “I’m glad you can finally admit it but it’s too late, I’m taken.” He gave Sandy a kiss, “Very happily taken.”

Sandy rolled her eyes and laughed but in the depths of her eyes, you could see that just hearing him say that made her happy.

Just like hearing Josh tell Jesse that he loved me with all his heart made me really happy, I thought as we all joined the rest of Josh’s family.

I went directly to Josh, who was now sitting with both Erin and Megan (Tim’s granddaughter – Matt’s daughter) on his lap. “Is there room for me?” I asked him, nodding towards the chair he was sitting in.

“Of course!” Josh moved Megan to the same side Erin was on and pulled me into his lap.

“Josh!” I giggled. “I meant the chair!”

“I know,” he kissed the tip of my nose. “Would you hold onto Erin? I don’t want to drop her.”

I nodded, “Come here sweetie,” I said as I cuddled her.

“Otay Ama!” Jesse jumped off the couch where he was sitting with his grandparents and ran over to me. He held up his hands to get up. “What doing baby Ama?” He looked hurt.

“Oh Jesse I…”My voice trailed off as I realized that he heard me call Erin ‘sweetie’ which I normally called him.

“I’ll take her,” Rob piped up as he came over to get his daughter. “Come on Peanut, before uncle Josh thinks he can take you home!”

Erin wasn’t out of my hands before Jesse started to climb up with me. Once he was settled on my lap he wrapped his arms around me, “My Ama,” he said, giving Erin a dirty look.

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See

Saturday morning I woke up feeling happy to be alive. Josh was still sleeping so I stayed in bed with him, watching him sleep. Every time I really looked at him, I was surprised by how extremely handsome he was and this time was no different. I laid there thinking how lucky I was that he was in my life and not only because he was handsome but because he was the most loving man I ever met in my life. I couldn’t even imagine being without him, I never wanted to know what it would be like to not be with him anymore; just the thought made me sad.

“You know there’s food in the cupboards if you are hungry,” he murmured.

I stared at him, thinking he was talking in his sleep because his eyes were still closed and he didn’t move towards me. I chuckled softly; I didn’t want to wake him.

“I’m not being funny Anna,” he opened one eye and smiled. “I’m not on the menu this morning.”

I laughed, “Are you sure?” I snuggled up to him, “I heard there was a ‘chef’s special’ on the menu, and if I’m cooking, that’s you babe.” To prove my point, I tilted my head back until my lips were on his; I proceeded to nibble on his bottom lip. “Mmmm, just the way I like you!”

He laughed, “Sleepy and incoherent?”

I nodded, “Yes I tend to get my way then.” I managed to move him onto his back and crawl on top of him even realized what I was doing. As I kissed him, he ‘woke’ up more and more until he was wide awake and wanting more than I was letting him have. He tugged impatiently at my shirt, his hands pushing it up over my back and shoulders as I moved against his body.

When I stopped so he should remove my shirt, he took advantage of that and rolled me over onto my back. “You are beautiful,” he whispered as his lips trailed down to my neck. A groan escaped his lips, “So beautiful.”

“Ama booful daddy!” Jesse giggled.

Josh quickly pulled the sheets up over us, covering me up completely, “Jesse! Get out!” I moved the sheets back enough to see Jesse, he looked horrified, Josh never yelled at him like that before.

“Sorry daddy!” Jesse cried as he ran from the room.

“Damn, damn, damn!” Josh rolled off me and sat up on the edge of the bed. “Jesse come back, daddy didn’t mean to yell at you.” He handed me back my shirt and I slipped it on, “Jesse? Please come back.”

We listened but it was a few minutes before we heard Jesse’s footsteps getting closer. He peeked around the corner and stared at his dad, “I sorry daddy.”

Josh held out his arms and Jesse ran towards him. “Daddy didn’t mean to yell, you just surprised me.”

Jesse wrapped his arms around Josh’s neck, “Ama booful daddy?”

Josh chuckled, “Yes Anna is beautiful Jesse. I love her very much.”

“Jesse love Ama daddy.”

I smiled at the both of them. Getting to my knees I sat behind Josh, wrapping my arms around the two of them, “You two are the best, did you know that?”

Josh leaned down to kiss me.

Jesse stood up and kissed my cheek, giggling as he did so.

The three of us spent the morning together. I kept expecting Jesse to ask me to leave like he did the last time he was here but he seemed to want me close by, if I so much as moved out of his sight he came running to find me.

When I went to get ready for work, I could hear Josh and Jesse talking in the living room. “Daddy love Ama?”

“Yes Jesse, I love Anna with all my heart.” I smiled; it never got old, hearing him say that he loved me.

“Daddy marry Ama?”

Josh was quiet for a moment, “It would be one of the happiest days of my life, when Anna agrees to marry me Jesse. But right now, we are just getting to know each other.”

“Otay daddy.”

I soon joined them, “I have to get going.” I didn’t want to go, I wanted to call in sick but I couldn’t. Although it didn’t help, it was nice when Jesse didn’t want me to go either.

Work was very uneventful and I was fine with that. I didn’t run into Hank at all, which kind of surprised me but I was happy that I didn’t.

Before I left Josh’s he asked me if I was going to come over after work. “You did tell my parents you’d be there for dinner tomorrow,” he reminded me. I told him I would go there after work. So I was really happy when the time to go home came.

I didn’t expect him to be awake when I got home but he was, barely.

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” I took him by the hands, leading him into his room.

That night we finished what we started that morning.

Try The Red Stuff - It's Delicious

Jesse and I had a great night together. While he watched Cars, I made us both nuggets and fries, which is what he wanted for supper. He tried to talk me into letting him eat in the living room so he could still watch Cars, when I asked if his daddy would be ok with that he said, “Jesse say ok.”

I laughed, “Oh Jesse says it’s ok?” He nodded, “But would daddy say it was ok?” He just gave me this grin and giggled. “That’s what I thought!” I went back to the table and sat down and Jesse followed me.

When he managed to finally sit up on the chair - he didn’t want any help; he kept telling me he could do it when I tried to help him – he sat there staring at his plate like something was missing.

“What’s wrong Jesse?”

Pointing to his plate, he pouted. “No red.”

No red? I wasn’t sure what he meant, I looked at his plate and mine. What the heck is he talking about? “I’m not sure what you mean Jesse, what are you missing?”

“No red,” he repeated as he picked up a fry and smashed it against his plate.

It still took me a moment but when I realized what he was talking about I felt like an idiot. “Oh! You want ketchup?” I didn’t use the stuff so I didn’t even think about the fact that Jess might want it. When he smiled and nodded, I got up and grabbed the ketchup from the fridge, squeezing a little on to his plate.

Supper went smooth after that, he managed to finish all the nuggets and most of the fries I gave him. When I went to do that few dishes I dirtied he wanted to help but soon he was bored with that and asked to watch the rest of Cars.

Once Cars was over we played for a while until he was starting to get sleepy, then I got him ready for bed. Thankfully there wasn’t too much of an issue to get him into bed, he just kept asking, “Daddy kiss Jesse?” When I explained to him that his daddy was still at work and would give him kisses when he came home, Jesse sighed, “I miss daddy.”

“Oh sweetie,” I pulled him into my arms and gave him a big hug. “I know that daddy misses you too.”

Jesse finally laid back to go to sleep and I left his room. I was tired as well but I didn’t want to fall asleep, I wanted to be awake when Josh got home. After scanning the movies he had, I just decided to watch TV.

I was half asleep, half watching some show on the history channel when I heard little footsteps coming down the hall. “Ama?” Jesse peeked around the corner at me; he looked so adorable as he stood there in his Spiderman pjs holding onto Mister Bear with one hand as he rubbed his eyes with the other.

“Hey Jess,” I sat up and he came running over to me, grabbing my hand in his. “What’s wrong sweetie?”

“Ama come!” He tugged on my hand; I had no choice but to go with him unless I wanted him to hurt himself.

Half running, he lead me down the hall to his room, I thought he was going to start telling me something about monsters but he didn’t. He let go of my hand and went over to his closet. “Daddy’s bed?”

I smiled as I remember that the air mattress Josh sometimes slept on when Jess was over, was sitting in the closet. I went over and pulled it out for Jess, “You want to set it up for daddy?” He nodded, “Ok, then why don’t you go get into your bed and I’ll do that?”

Jess went over and got in bed while I laid the mattress on the floor, it was a little flat. “Oh no!” Jess cried, “Broke daddy’s bed!”

“No, sweetie it’s not broken.” I went back to the closet, poked around for a few minutes before I found the pump. Returning to the mattress, I set the pump up and started to blow the mattress back up while Jesse looked on in amazement.

Once the mattress was ready to go and the pump was back in the closet, Jess wanted me to tuck him back in. I was on my way back out to the living room when Jesse stopped me, “Ama sleep in daddy’s bed.”

“Ok,” I told him before explaining that I had to go turn off the TV and some lights.

About ten minutes later we were both tucked into bed, “Love you Ama,” Jesse called out in the semi-darkness.

“I love you too Jesse.”

I’m not sure how long it was before I woke to find Josh leaning over to check on Jesse. I watched him as he softly kissed Jess’ cheek and told him that he loved him.

“Hey handsome,” I whispered when he started to turn from Jesse to me.

“Hello beautiful,” he paused and in the light that came from the little nightlight that was just outside the door, I saw him pout a little. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he was hoping to carry my sleeping body into his room and place me in his bed. “But now you’ll insist on walking there yourself,” he teased. “And my romantic gesture goes flying out the window.”

I smiled, “You don’t know me very well if you think that.” I whispered. “I’ll make any excuse to have you holding me.”

“Is that so?” He chuckled, slipping my arms around his neck. I told him it was as he slid his arms under me, picking me up off the mattress.

Once I was resting in his bed, he slipped in next to me and held me tight. “Thank you so much for tonight.”

“It was my pleasure Josh. Jesse and I had fun.”

“Oh? What did you two do?” I filled him in on our night; he laughed when I told him about Jesse trying to get me to let him eat in the living room and when he wanted ketchup. When I told him about Jesse asking if Josh would give him kisses, I could feel his sadness about not being there.

“One day soon Josh, you’ll be there for all of his bedtimes.”

“I know,” Josh kissed me. “I just can’t wait for that day to come.”

It wasn’t long after that when sleep overtook the both of us.

Going Home To Wait

I wish I could say that the person who grabbed me from behind was someone I would’ve expected it from but it wasn’t. In fact it was someone that I barely even knew, Josh knew him a lot better than I did.

“Jack?” Josh shot him a dirty look before he turned his eyes towards my shocked expression.

While he was turning to me, I was in the middle of turning around to see who grabbed me, “What the hell?” I slapped Jack on the arm. “Get your hands off me!”

“Honey,” Josh came up behind me, his hands slipped to where Jack’s were moments before. “It’s ok, I know he didn’t mean anything by it, and won’t do it again.” I glanced at him, he was looking at Jack. “Right Jack?”

“Of course Josh, whatever you say,” Jack laughed. “But you should’ve seen the look on your faces. Priceless!” He shook his head and started to walk away, “You have about ten minutes Josh.”

“I don’t know why we are friends sometimes,” Josh smiled down at me. “I’m sorry he scared you.”

Josh has known Jack for a long time, they went to school together and now they worked together; Jack is the history teacher here. The only reason I know Jack is because I met him at Zack’s a few times, along with Mark (Josh’s cousin) and their other friend Warner. They were all there that morning that I walked out of the bathroom with just a towel on. In fact, I believe it was Jack who did the wolf whistling.

“I’m not,” I told him while I slipped one of his hands around my waist. When he shot me a questioning look I elaborated. “It got your attention when he scared me.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you Anna,” Josh looked over his shoulder where Jess was still talking to Cassie. “I was watching him.”

“Oh,” I sighed. “I thought you were mad at me for what Hank did.”

“No,” Josh shook his head, “A kiss on the cheek isn’t such a big deal. Of course, I don’t like that he felt he could do it, he doesn’t even know you that well. Jordan, I can understand but you just met Hank.” He stopped and bowed his head, “Ok. I’ll admit it,” he pulled me close to his body. “I don’t like any guy kissing or touching you anywhere. I…” He went to say something else but we were interrupted by Ben.

“Coach, are you going to go talk to the team?” Ben glanced at me and then smiled, “Oh! Hello Anna!”

I smiled and said hello. Josh told Ben he would be right there. “I have to go honey,” he kissed my cheek, groaned and then pressed his lips against mine. “I don’t want to go,” he mumbled against my lips.

I told him it was too bad, he had too, even though I didn’t really want him to go either. “Jess and I will be waiting for you when you get home,” I kissed him. “Of course, Jess will be asleep and I might not be.”

Josh laughed, “That’s all I hope for.” He went on to ask me if I would stay to watch the rest of the game but then decided that wouldn’t be such a good idea because Jess wouldn’t want to sit still, “He would want to be up with me,” Josh told me. “He would want to blow the whistle and be on the court with the team.”

So in the end, I ended up leaving with Jesse, who was a little worried that I would take him back to his mom. “I no go Ama!”

When I explained to him that Josh had to work and we were going to his apartment to wait for him to get home, Jesse brightened up. “We watch Cars?”

Piggy Back - The Only Way To Travel

When Jess and I left work, I drove directly over to the school. I had promised Josh that I would bring Jesse to see him.

After searching for about 10 minutes for a place to park, I finally stopped my car about four blocks away from the school. “I hope you like to walk,” I told Jess as I released him from the car seat.

We had only gone about a block when Jesse wanted to get up, “But we are almost there,” I told him. “It’s just over there.” But he didn’t care, he wanted to get up and he wanted to see his daddy.

I picked him up and was carrying him but after the next block, he started to get heavy and I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry him the whole way like that. Damn, I thought to myself. You are way out of shape! As I tried to put him down, I decided that I was going to take up some form of exercise.

“No Ama, I get up!” Jess said when I put his feet on the ground.

“It’s just for a second Jess,” I told him and he finally let go of my neck. Turning around, I squatted down in front of him, “Want a piggy back ride?”

“Yay!” Jesse jumped on the spot and came over to get on my back.

I have to say I found it a lot easier to carry him like that, plus he was having a ball yelling, “Get up Ama!”

There were a lot of people milling around outside the school, oh! It must be half time or something. Jess and I made our way through the people towards the gym.

At first I didn’t see Josh; I thought that he might’ve been in his office or back with the team in the change room. “I think we’ll have to-”

“Daddy!” Jesse yelling into my ear as I was speaking. “Ama, see daddy! Daddy!” He called out again, as he pointed off to the right.

I spotted Josh as Jess called out to him again, he slowly turned his head like it wasn’t certain if the call was for him. When his eyes fell over Jess and me, he smiled and excused himself from the people he was talking too and jogged over to us. “Hey,” he wrapped his arms around the two of us, giving both of us a kiss. “I was starting to worry that my parents didn’t get there in time.”

I went to tell him that I ran into Hank when Jesse said, “Baby took Mis’er Bear daddy!”

“What?” Josh glanced at me as Jesse repeated himself.

“He said that the baby took Mister Bear.”

Josh reached around me and took Jesse off my back, “What baby?”

“Baby and man.” Jesse turned to point to me. “Man kiss Ama!”

Both of Josh’s brows shot up, “Who kissed Anna?”

Jesse shrugged, shaking his head. “I no.”

Josh turned to me, his hand lifted to my arm. “Who kissed Anna?” He repeated as he led me away from people, into a quiet corner.

“It wasn’t a big deal Josh,” I told him.

“No?” He took a deep breath, “Then why not tell me about it?”

I shrugged, “We ran into Hank and Jenna; Jenna would be the baby that stole Mister Bear. We were talking for a moment and then I told him we had to go meet you, he said bye to Jesse and me, then he -”

“Kiss Ama there!” Jesse leaned over and pointed to my cheek.

I nodded, “Yeah, he gave me a kiss on the cheek.”

Josh didn’t say anything and I kind of got a little worried, I went to say something but we were interrupted by Cassie. “Aunt Anna!” She threw her arms around me and gave me a hug, “I didn’t think you’d be here today. Did you come to see Ben play?” I told her I came so Jesse could see his dad. “Oh,” Cassie glanced over her shoulder at Josh, who wasn’t looking too happy. “Umm, I’ll just go I guess.” She waved bye to me and flashed Jess a smile and said, “Cute bear.”

Once Cassie left, Jesse wanted down. When Josh put him down, he started after Cassie who was standing not that far away with some friends. Jesse tugged at her pants and she looked down in surprise. While she knelt down and talked to him, I turned my attention back to Josh.

“Are you upset with me?”

Josh shook his head, but his attention was on Jesse. I felt like crap, it wasn’t a big deal. It’s not like Hank had other intentions when he did it. You did nothing wrong, there was no way to know he was going to do that anyway. You didn’t ask him to kiss you.

All of these thoughts were running through my head, I was getting upset that Josh wasn’t saying anything; he was pretty much ignoring me. Even that I tried to reason out, he hasn’t seen Jess in a while, he misses him. But even as I rationalized it, I found that it didn’t help my mood. I wanted to say something to him but I didn’t know what. So I stood there, with my arms folded over my chest and this fake smile on my face.

It wasn’t until I was grabbed from behind and yelped in surprised that Josh seemed to remember that I was there.

You Can Never Have Too Many Friends

For some reason it didn’t surprise me to see Hank standing there, I had expected to run into him sometime that week at work. I just thought it would’ve been earlier than this.

“I’m not stalking you,” he said. “Heather sent me here to pick up some stuff. I have a list!” He pulled out a piece of paper and held it out to me, “See, she needs…” he looked at the list and blushed. “Well, she needs personal women things.”

“Women things?” I chuckled as he stuffed the list back in his pocket. “And she sent you for them?”

Hank nodded, “She’s umm….not feeling good.”

“Ahh, I see. Well I guess we should let you grab those things and get home again.” I started to leave but Hank stopped me.

“Anna, about the other day, I ­–”

“Hank, don’t ok.” I held up my hand to him, “You don’t have to apologize or make excuses or try to explain. It’s really none of my business what you do, I’m sorry I reacted like I did.”

“Wait, come on.” Hank was searching for something in my expression, I wasn’t sure what it was but it was weird. “I would like to be friends with you; I hope I haven’t blown that.”

I sighed, “No Hank, you haven’t. I just don’t know how to act around you now. And it’s not only because of the drinking.” I looked down at Jenna, “You have been in her life since she’s been born, something that my best friend, her father, hasn’t been able to do, and he would’ve wanted too.”

“I didn’t keep him out Anna, I honestly thought he knew about her and wasn’t interested in being her dad.”

“But he didn’t and he is interested. I’m not sure how to be around you,” I knew I was repeating myself but it was true. Would being friends with Hank jeopardize my friendship with Jordan. I don’t even know how Jordan feels about Hank being there. I knew that my opinion of Hank shouldn’t change because of what Jordan thinks or feels but we all know that who your friends are can influence who you do and don’t talk too.

I was watching Jesse as I had all these thoughts running through my head. He had reached out and grabbed hold of Hank’s cart to pull it so he was aligned with Jenna. “Hey baby,” he said, leaning over the side of the cart. “I Jesse.”

I chuckled when he said ‘hey baby’, it reminded me of Jordan and how he always called me ‘babe’. I glanced up at Hank; he had a smile on his face as he watched Jesse and Jenna.

“Who are you?” Jesse asked Jenna, but Jenna didn’t answer, instead she pointed to Mister Bear. Jess looked down, “That Mis’er Bear.” He held him up so Jenna could get a good look at him. “See?”

Jenna leaned closer, she dropped the cookie she had in her hands and she grabbed Mister Bear away from Jess. Then as quickly as she could, she turned away from Jess and started to bounce Mister Bear on the handle of the cart.

Jess stared at her; his little eyes were wide with shock. “Hey! Mis’er Bear Jesse’s!” He turned to me, “Ama, Baby took Mis’er Bear!” He folded his arms over his chest, he seemed a little miffed that I didn’t do anything about Jenna taking the bear.

Hank leaned against the handle of the cart, getting in the way of the bouncing stolen bear he got hit in the face. Jenna stopped bouncing the bear immediately and stared at Hank, her mouth had formed an ‘o’ as she lifted one hand to it. “Owie?” She tried to get up out of her cart to see if she hurt Hank.

“Yes,” Hank told her. “Owie,” he pointed to his chin and moved closer to her. Jenna dropped Mister Bear and reached for Hank’s chin, puckering her lips.

“Muah!” She giggled as Hank moved back. “Owie bye bye.”

“Yes Jenna, owie is gone bye bye.”

When he stood up straight again, he glanced over at me and blushed. “Heather got her into kissing things better, if I don’t let her do it, she’ll cry.” He explained even though he didn’t need too.

I nodded, “You really care about her, don’t you?”

Hank smiled, “Jenna is the most amazing little girl,” he reached out and brushed the side of her face with his fingers. “I’m blessed that I get to be apart of her life.”

I don’t know why that seemed to surprise me but it did. I knew that Hank had kind of slipped into the role of ‘daddy’ because he was seeing Heather but I never stopped to think of how Jordan’s appearance in Jenna’s life would affect Hank’s life. Could Hank and Jordan put aside their insecurities and do the right thing for Jenna?

“Ama!” Jess tugged at my sleeve, “Mis’er Bear?”

I turned to Jenna who wrapped her arms around the bear when Jesse said his name. “Hey Jenna, do you think that Jesse could have his bear back?”

Jenna’s eyes flicked to me momentarily before she shook her head, “No.”

I glanced at Jess, he was leaning over the cart, reaching out his arms to Mister Bear but Jenna turned away from him and giggled. “Please baby Mis’er Bear Jesse.”

I tried to reason with Jenna but everything I said to her only made her hug the bear tighter and say, ‘no’. I was running out of ideas, I was starting to get frustrated, I was about to threaten to call her dad when Hank started to dig around in the diaper bag. “Hey Jenna, look what I got,” he pulled out a doll. No, he pulled out –

“Do’a!” Jenna squealed and dropped Mister Bear in her attempt to grab the Dora doll that Hank was holding.

“Give Jess back Mister Bear first,” Hank told Jenna.

“’Kay,” Jenna quickly picked Mister Bear up and pushed him towards Jesse, who grabbed him and held him tight.

With both kids holding their toys, Hank turned to me. “I don’t know what kind of power Dora has, but she always seems to work.”

“I guess that’s a good thing for Jess,” I laughed. “We have to go,” I told him.

He nodded, “Yeah we should go get the stuff on Heather’s list. I’ll see you around?” He smiled when I told him that I would see him later. “That’s great. Bye Jesse,” he touched Mister Bear’s arm. “It was nice meeting you and your bear.” He turned back to me, ‘Bye Anna.”

And that’s when he did something I wasn’t expecting.

After he said ‘bye’, Hank bent down and pressed his lips against my cheek and before I could even react, he was gone.

Favors

“What kind of favor?” I asked him. “Are you asking for a kidney or just a donation for some fundraiser?” I chuckled at my own joke but Josh didn’t.

“Anna, please. I’m serious.” He paused, “What time do you get off work?”

“At 4, what did you need me to do Josh?”

“Well, you remember that I told you I had a game after school? And then I had to supervise the dance tonight?”

I nodded, “Yes. I believe I asked if I could be your date.” I had also asked him if we could make out behind the school like the cool kids do when they are bored with the dance.

Josh laughed at that, “Yes you did and trust me, if I wasn’t supervising teenagers, I’d take you up on that!”

“I could meet you out back between the game and the dance?”

“Honey,” Josh sighed. He didn’t have to say anything else; I knew he had this thing about mixing his personal life with work.

I’m not allowed at his work, or at least I can’t tease him at work. “So what do you need me to do? Come cheer you on? Bring you a change of clothes? Tell you I love you and what I would do to you if you were here right now?”

“Anna,” Josh chuckled nervously. I could picture him looking around to see if anyone was nearby. “That’s not it at all, although I don’t mind if you tell me you love me.”

“Well good, because I do.”

“Good.” Josh was starting to sound a little happier than when he first called.

“So handsome what is this big favor you need to ask of me?”

He hesitated, “I probably shouldn’t ask you. I didn’t even check to see if anyone else in my family could do it, maybe I should do that right. I hate to bother you.”

“Josh,” I groaned. “Tell me what you needed.”

“Well, you see. Carol called me a little while ago to tell me that she was dropping Jesse off today, around 3:30.”

“Oh,” I was a little surprised that she would drop him off early again, plus, “Does that mean that you don’t want me to come over tonight?”

“No, not at all. I miss you, I want to see you. I just,” he sighed. “I asked mom and dad to wait for Carol to arrive but they have this dinner thing that they have tickets to and they want to be out of town by 4. I was hoping that you could…” his voice trailed off.

“Watch Jesse for you tonight?” I finished for him.

“Yes, I understand if you don’t want too. It’s a big thing to ask, it’s just that he has been asking about you when I talk to him and I thought that maybe you wouldn’t mind.” His last words were almost mumbled. “But if you have other plans it’s cool, I could call Tim or Matt or someone, I guess.”

I almost laughed at him; I wasn’t used to him rambling on like that. He sounded so unsure if he should be asking, and it was kind of cute. “Josh, I’ll gladly spend the night with Jesse. I just don’t get off work until 4, and it’s pretty busy today, so I can’t really leave early.”

Josh was quiet for a moment, “Well maybe mom and dad can drop him off there on their way out of town; they have to pass by there anyway.”

I told him that would be great and he told me he’d call his mom to see if they could do it. “I’ll call you back if they can’t, ok?”

We hung up and I returned to work with my cell phone in hand and a huge grin on my face. He trusts me to watch his son! I almost jumped for joy. Even though he let me take Jesse to my brother’s before, this seemed like a bigger deal.

Josh didn’t call me back so when it got closer to 4 and Jesse wasn’t there, I started to worry.

I was in the middle of talking to a regular customer when I heard little feet running. Trying not to ignore the customer I was talking to, I glanced at the main aisle just in time to see Jesse run pass with Mister Bear in his arms.

“What was that?” The customer asked me as we heard the running stop and Jesse giggling.

“I –”

Jesse appeared from around the clothing rack, his eyes were wide and his smile was huge. “AMA!” He threw his hands up in the air and ran towards me, jumping when he got close enough. After I picked him up and had him settled in my arms, he said, “Hi Ama! I find you!”

The customer and I both laughed, “Yes you did find me Jess.”

“Jesse where are you?” I heard Josh’s father calling out moments before I saw him round the corner.

“I with Ama Papa!”

Frank walked over to us, “Yes it looks like you found her.” He turned to me, “I went to ask the ladies at the front where you were and Jesse here said he knew where you were and then he took off running.”

I gasped, “Jesse!” He bowed his head when I looked at him. “Did you run away from Papa?”

He nodded, “I sorry Ama.”

“I think you should tell Papa you are sorry.”

Jesse turned towards Frank, “I sorry Papa.” He reached out his arms and Frank picked him up.

“You be a good boy for Anna,” he kissed his cheek and handed Jesse back to me. “I have Helen out waiting in the car, we have a date!” He winked at me before turning to walk away. “You two have fun tonight and tell Joshua I’ll call him tomorrow.”

Once Frank was gone, I looked down at Jesse. “I have to clock out, get my stuff and then I need to pick up some stuff. What do you say to that?”

Jesse stared at me for a moment, “We go see daddy?”

“Yes, after we shop. Daddy has a game today; do you want to go watch the game?”

“Uh huh,” he nodded. “I see daddy.”

We went into the back to grab my jacket, Jesse was telling me about his daddy’s game. “…and daddy makes a,” he tried to imitate a whistle but it sounded more like a ‘hoot’.

After grabbing the empty cart that I had in infants with me, Jesse and I set out to pick up the items on my list, which he insisted on holding onto. He also asked me for something to write with, “Daddy let me draw,” he told me.

Once I had everything I knew that was on my list, I told him we were going and he told me there was something else on my list. “What? Let me see that!” He leaned forward and showed me the paper, we had everything on it. “I think we have it all,” I told him.

“No Ama, here.” Jesse pointed to the bottom of the sheet where he scribbled something with the pencil I let him have.

“What does that say?” I asked him.

“Tell you, ‘Jesse need toy!’” He laughed.

I shook my head, “Jesse needs a toy? Let me see that!” I took the paper from him, “No you were looking at it wrong it says ‘Jesse needs kisses!’”

Jesse’s brow shot up and he reached for the paper. “I see!” I showed him and he laughed again, “Kisses!” He reached out his hands to me.

I leaned down and kissed both of his cheeks. “Now can we go?”

Jesse wasn’t looking at me though, “Look Ama! Baby!”

I turned to see who he was looking at and I froze.

“Hey Anna,” Hank said softly.

Underwraps

After all the tension at Jordan’s parents’ house, spending the night in Josh’s arms was exactly what I needed. I woke up feeling so happy and…alone? I quickly sat up, looking at the clock, it was quarter to seven; I guess Josh is out jogging.

Sighing, I plopped back against the mattress and my thoughts turned to Jordan. What the hell is up with his father? I thought for sure that hearing about Jenna would make him a little bit friendlier to Jordan. Maybe it’s time to see what Harriet can tell me about it, there’s no way she’s enjoying the tension. Especially now.

“Those most be some serious thoughts you are having,” Josh’s voice broke through my mind’s ramble. He was leaning against the wall near the closet, with only a towel wrapped around his waist. “Now,” he pushed off the wall and started towards me. “I know you weren’t thinking about me.” He knelt on the bed and leaned over me, “I like to think there would’ve been a naughty smile on these lips, if you were.” He touched his fingers against my lips for a brief moment before he kissed me softly.

Reaching up, I tugged at the towel until it fell from his hips. When I smiled, he chuckled. “That’s the one I was talking about.”

Josh slipped into bed with me and pulled me close. “Care to tell me what’s on your mind sweetheart?”

Sighing, I snuggled up against him. “I’m trying to figure out why Jordan’s dad is an ass to him.” I told him everything that happened last night; John’s attitude towards Jordan, what he said to him and what he said to me.

I didn’t know what Josh would say when I was done but I didn’t expect his first words. “Are you ok?” Puzzled, I asked him why I wouldn’t be ok. Josh moved the sheets back and started to look me over. “You said he grabbed you, I want to know if he hurt you.”

“Oh,” I glanced down at my arms. “No, I’m fine. I’m more hurt because of the way he treats Jordan. I don’t understand it.”

Josh asked me a few questions; if John had always treated Jordan this way, if Jordan ever did something to John, things like that.

“As far as I know it’s been like this most of Jordan’s life. I think when he was younger it was just normal stuff; Jordan was pretty independent at an early age, he was a little lippy and didn’t understand why he couldn’t do some things when he wanted. I know he wasn’t too interested in going home when we were in elementary school but I like to think that it was because I was so cool.” I joked; Josh gave me a kiss and told me I was cool.

“The first time I can remember him telling me anything about it was when we were in junior high. He told me that he got into a huge fight with his dad and he wasn’t sure what it was about. He said that he came home from his work experience and his dad just flipped out on him. It’s been like that ever since.” I shrugged, “I don’t know, I’ve tried to think of what it could be but nothing makes sense.”

“What about Mike? Nick? Does he treat them all the same?”

I shook my head, “No with them there seems to be nothing they can do wrong. Once Nick backed into a pole with his dad’s car. John got upset but he didn’t flip out. But when Jordan misplaced the oil cap when he was changing the oil in his mom’s car, John flipped out. He started yelling at him, ‘What the hell were you doing? How could you misplace the cap?’ Stuff like that. When Jordan found the cap moments later, all John said was ‘next time look for the damn thing before you tell me you lost it’.” I growled, “Jordan didn’t even tell him he lost it, John came in when Jordan went to put the cap on and - what?” I happened to glance up at Josh and he was given me a funny look.

Josh shook his head. “Calm down tiger,” he smiled.

“I’m sorry; it just bugs me that John is like that with Jordan.”

He nodded, “I know honey. It doesn’t sound normal to me. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“I know,” I gave him a hug. “I just needed to get it out before I blew up.”

We both laughed at that, and not long after Josh told me he had to get ready for work.

Josh gave me a ride home that morning and I didn’t get to see him at all for the next couple of days.

I was working Friday morning. Actually I was on my break when my cell rang, it was Josh. I loved it when he called me, every time I heard his voice on the phone, I couldn’t help but feel happy. That feeling was multiplied by ten when he called me at work. “Hey beautiful, how are you doing?”

I couldn’t help the huge grin that spread across my face. “Hey sexy, I’m doing great now. How is your day going?”

“Umm it’s going good,” he didn’t sound so good though.

“What’s wrong?”

Josh sighed, “I have to ask you a favor. A big favor.”

Cheering And Serenading

“John!” Harriet called after him but he didn’t even stop.

I closed my eyes and silently cursed, you selfish son of a b****! I didn’t need to look at Jordan, I knew that he was upset that his father didn’t say anything; John not saying anything was actually worst than his yelling. When he yelled you knew he was upset but you also knew he’d get over it; when he didn’t say anything, he could go days ignoring you.

Personally I’ve been on the receiving end of both. John once told me that my sassy mouth would get me into a lot of trouble one day. But try as I might, I can’t get him to stop liking me. I didn’t want him to treat me like his ‘favorite daughter’ because I was neither; I didn’t deserve that title. I was rude and spoke my mind, I told him exactly what I thought of him and his treatment of Jordan and I didn’t give a rat’s ass about him.

I stood there watching Jordan tell his mother about Jenna, he seemed happy but not as happy as he was before when he told Nick about her. I turned my attention to Nick and mouthed to him that I would be back before I slipped out to find John.

The door leading to the basement was opened now, John normally spends a lot of time down there building stuff; he’s a carpenter by trade. As I descended the stairs, he began to use one of his power tools and I jumped. By the time I made my way across the basement to the shop that he had set up, he had stopped using the tool, so it was quiet again.

The door creaked when I went through it; John glanced over his shoulder before turning his attention to the piece of wood that he just cut. “What do you want?”

“I want to know why you didn’t say anything about Jenna.” I walked over to where he was standing. “You were so happy about Nick and Amy’s baby when you found out, why can’t you be happy about the granddaughter you already have?”

“Why don’t you mind your own business for once?” John snarled at me.

I shrugged, “Everything that happens to Jordan is my business.”

John glared at me for a moment and then he grabbed my left hand. “If that were the case, it would his ring on your finger.” He dropped my hand, “But he’s just stupid enough to let you go.”

“Jordan isn’t stupid!” I snapped at him. “In fact he’s the only one of your sons who has made something of himself! He worked really had to get where he is, and it’s never good enough for you! I don’t know why he even cares about what you think; you are such a self centered bastard!”

I expected John to yell at me, but he didn’t. He glared at me for a moment and then he started to laugh. “I hope your guy knows what he’s getting into,” he shook his head. “Jordan probably couldn’t keep you happy anyway.”

“Argh!” I threw my hands up in the air and shook my head. “Why do you do this? Does it give you some sick pleasure to make Jordan miserable? He never did anything to deserve the way you treat him!” John turned away from me. “Why do you treat him like crap John? Why are you nicer to me than you are your own son? How can you be so proud of the other two for being losers and piss on Jordan?”

John spun towards me and grabbed me by the arms, “Listen here Anna, and you listen good. This is my house; who the hell do you think you are coming in here and talking to me like this? What I do here is none of your business. If Jordan has a problem with the way I treat him, he should be man enough to come to me himself, instead of sending you to fight his battles for him.” John released me and stomped over to the door. “Get out of my sight!”

I followed him to the door but turned just after I stepped through it. “Do you really want to miss out on getting to know your granddaughter?” He didn’t say anything as he slammed the door in my face. “Jordan isn’t going to bring Jenna around to see Harriet when there’s all this tension between the both of you,” I yelled through the door. “Don’t be a jackass John you’ll end up hurting the people you do care about.”

Jordan was waiting for me when I got to the top of the stairs, “Why do you even bother Anna? You know he’s never going to change,” he looked down at him feet as he continued, his voice cracking a little. “Dad hates my guts and I don’t know why.”

“Oh Jordy,” I threw my arms around him. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I think you are the best thing since sliced bread.”

Jordan reluctantly laughed, “I think you are pretty great too.” He moved back to smile down at me, “At least I know you’ll always be in my corner.”

“Cheering you on,” I did a little jump in the air, “Go Jordy!”

He laughed for real, “Does Josh know you are this silly?”

I grinned, “Yes and he still loves me.”

“Yes he does,” Jordan nodded. “How about we get out of here? It’s still early; Josh might still be up so you can spend some time with him.”

The idea sounded really awesome to me but I tried not to let it show too much. “But what about you? I’m supposed to spend the night with you, remember?”

Jordan threw his arm around my shoulders and turned me towards the front door. “Don’t worry about me, I think I’m just going to go home and crash, I’m pretty beat.”

Raising my brow, I asked him if he was sure. “Yes!” He smiled as he helped me with my jacket. “All I’m going to do is go home and crash in front of the TV. I might even sleep on the couch.”

I laughed, “Don’t do that, you always end up sore when you do.”

We left his parent’s house in a better mood than when we went in there, despite what happened with his father. When I asked him if he would be taking Jenna over there soon, he told me that he would. “Mom wanted to call Heather up and see if she could go over tonight! I had to promise her that I would take her to see my baby tomorrow.” He smiled at something and then he laughed, “Mom wanted to keep my picture!”

I laughed, “And you weren’t about to let that one go, were you daddy?”

Jordan turned and gave me this funny look. “You know, that sounds really creepy. But I like it. I can’t wait to see Jenna again, hey maybe this weekend Heather will let me spend some time alone with Jenna.” He was quiet for the rest of the drive to Josh’s place. When I went to get out of his truck he stopped me. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”

I leaned over and gave him a hug, “That’s what I’m here for Jordy. Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I hopped out of his truck and made my way to Josh’s apartment.

There was no answer when I knocked on his door; I knew he was home because his car was sitting out on the street. So using the key he gave me, I let myself in. There was a light on in the living room, so I called out to him as I removed my jacket but there was no answer. Moving further into the apartment, I smiled when I realized that the water was running in the shower.

I went to knock on the bathroom door to let him know I was there but I stopped when I heard his voice, he was singing! I pushed the door open a little and I listened to see if I could figure out what he was singing but he stopped, laughed, said something that sounded like ‘no, not that one’. He hummed for a couple seconds and then he launched into another one.

Here you come knockin' on my door baby
Tell me what you got on your mind
I guess those college boys all went home for the summertime
And you're lookin' right, lookin' good, lookin' like a woman should
So why is it so hard to find
A place to lay your pretty little head down once in a while
You run on a little tough luck baby
Don't you sweat it

I tried not to make a noise but I couldn’t help but giggle, it wasn’t that he was a bad singer, he was actually really good. I just never thought he would be the guy to sing in the shower.

He had stopped when he heard me, “Anna?” He questioned as he whipped back the shower curtain enough to peek out.

“Hey handsome,” I smiled at him.

He stared at me wide eyed before he chuckled. “Hey beautiful. Care to join me?”

I wasn’t sure if he was serious or not, I didn’t care. I reached for my shirt and tugged it off. It wasn’t long before all my clothes were in a pile at my feet.

Josh pushed back the curtain, not caring that he was getting water on the floor. He held out his hand to me, when I slipped mine into his, he started to sing again.

Everything is waiting inside for ya
You know I got it
So come and get it

Telling The Parents

Everyone’s attention was focused on Jordan, even Nick and Amy were sitting on the edge of their seats even though they knew that if Jordan and I were engaged, they would know about it.

Jordan looked down at me when I took his hand in mine, I didn’t know exactly what he was going to say but I knew he would say the right thing.

“Anna and I are now and will only ever be just friends!” He sat back down and took a sip of water from his glass.

“Idiot!” John ripped his napkin from his lap, threw it on the table and pushed his chair back. “You might as well be gay too!” He yelled at Jordan, “What the hell is wrong with you? The perfect woman for you has been under your nose all your life and you screw that up?”

I went to say something but stopped short when Jordan jumped up from his chair. “Perfect for me? What the hell do you know? You don’t even know a damn thing about me, how do you know what’s perfect for me?”

John glared at Jordan, “How dare you talk to me like that you spineless piece of crap.”

“Spineless?” Jordan laughed, “Well I guess I had to get it from somewhere!”

I stared at Jordan, never before had he ever talked back to his father like this. I was so proud but so worried at the same time.

“The woman you think is so ‘perfect’ for me has absolutely no interest in me! I could parade around naked in front of her and she wouldn’t even notice!”

I raised a brow at him, what? I’d notice that, I’m not completely dead to him.

“Jordan please sit down,” his mother reached out her hand to touch him but he pulled away.

“No mom, I done. I’m tired of this bullshit.” He turned to his father. “I don’t care, you don’t have to like me, and you can pretend that you only have two sons for all I care. I’m out of here. Come on Anna,” Jordan reached for my hand and pulled me up from my chair.

“Jordan what about…?” I looked at him and saw that despite what he said, he did care.

John jumped from his chair and crossed the room to us. He grabbed Jordan by the arm and spun him around. “Your mother told you to sit down. Why don’t you show some respect?”

“John please don’t,” Harriet cried as she looked on in horror as they both stood there with their hands clenched into fists, staring each other down.

I glanced towards Nick to see if he was going to break this up but he was too busy whispering soothing words to Amy, who was crying in his arms. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, like so many times before; I knew that I had to be the one to get them to calm down. And I knew out of the two of them, Jordan was the easiest to get under control.

“Jordy,” I whispered as I stepped between the two of them. He reluctantly turned his gaze in my direction. “Do you really want to do this?” I asked, placing my hand on his chest, over the pocket that held the picture of Jenna.

He slipped his hand up to mine, his fingertips touching the edge of Jenna’s photo. “I want her to be proud of me,” his shoulders slumped as some of the anger escaped his body.

“She will be Jordy but you have to stop this.” I glanced to my left at his mother and so did he. “Do you really want to cut her off from knowing your mother?”

Jordan chuckled, “No,” he said softly as he shook his head. “Mom is the only reason I’m where I am today.” It was true, for as hard as his father was on him, his mother was twice as loving and nurturing, although sometimes you wondered if she didn’t share her husband’s feelings.

“Then why don’t you tell her the reason we are here tonight?” Jordan looked at me and then pass me to his father. “No,” I said, turning his attention back to his mother. “Forget about him; tell your mom your news.”

Harriet stood up, “What news?”

Jordan walked over to his mother, “Mom please sit down.” He pulled a chair over to her end of the table and he sat down; she took his hands in hers, she looked so worried.

“What is this about?” John snarled from behind me.

“Shut up and listen,” I snapped, moving closer to Jordan.

“Mom, I have to something to tell you.” She looked at me but Jordan shook his head. “No mom, it doesn’t have anything to do with Anna.” He stopped and grinned. “Well actually if it wasn’t for Anna, I wouldn’t know right now. I don’t actually know when I would’ve found out.”

“Jordan you are scaring me,” his mother squeezed his hands.

“Mom it’s good. I promise. For once in my life I’m actually happy, I have something in my life that makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.” A smile like I’ve never seen before crossed his face. “Actually I have someone in my life that makes me feel this way.” Jordan pulled out Jenna’s picture and held it against his chest.

“Do you remember Heather mom?”

His mother nodded, “Yes dear I remember her and how she left.”

“Yeah,” Jordan sighed. “Anyway, she’s back in town and –”

“You are a bigger fool than I thought if you are getting back together with her Jordan!” John said as he moved over to his wife. “She used you once and she’ll do it again.”

I almost laughed, not because of what John said but because for the first time in my life, it sounded like John was concerned about Jordan’s happiness.

“We aren’t getting back together, yet.”

“Jordan, she’s -”

“Dad stop it! I love her ok? I was crazy about her when we were together, I was going to ask her to marry me and my feelings for her haven’t changed. Yes, she’s seeing someone else and she doesn’t seem to be interested in getting back with me but it doesn’t change how I feel about her.”

Jordan groaned, “That’s not what I wanted to say anyway!” He turned to his mom again, “When Heather left town she was pregnant.” Both his parents gasped, “I have a daughter,” he continued. “Her name is Jenna and she’ll be a year old soon.”

Jordan flipped the picture he had around and placed it on the table in front of his mother, “I’d like to bring her around to meet you.”

His mother grabbed the photo and stared at it. “John?” She looked up at her husband before turning back to the picture. “She looks like you Jordan,” Harriet cried. “Such a beautiful little girl,” his mother held the picture against her chest as tears ran down her face. “Oh Jordan!” She grabbed his hand and held it tight.

“Let me see that!” John snatched the picture out of Harriet’s hand and stared down at it. It seemed like everyone was holding their breath, just waiting to see what he would say.

Without a word, John handed Harriet back the picture and walked out of the room.

How Far Should You Go To Help A Friend?

I was sitting in the kitchen looking at the picture of Jenna that Heather gave Jordan; I was trying to see if she looked either bit like Heather. Besides the blond hair, Jenna looks like Jordan.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Jordan asked as he leaned in over my shoulder and looked at the picture.

I nodded, “She’s very pretty. So are you ready to go?”

“No,” Jordan took the picture from me. “I don’t want to go over there at all; I’m not looking forward to it. But,” he turned the picture around and pointed to it. “Jenna isn’t a dirty secret; I want everyone to know she’s my daughter.”

“That’s good Jordan,” I hugged him. “And you never know, maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it will be.”

He laughed as he followed me to the front door, “Yeah I’m sure my father will just be so proud of me that he’ll suddenly be nice.”

“Stranger things have happened.”

I wish I could say that the even started out good but it didn’t. We were late. And if there’s one thing Jordan’s dad hates, it’s when people are late. He started in on Jordan as soon as he stepped foot into the house, “Did all the clocks in your house die? You were supposed to be here 10 minutes ago! Dinner is always at 6!” I turned towards the sound of John’s voice; he was standing just beyond the wall so we couldn’t see each other. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

I could tell Jordan wanted to say something to him but he never did. Come on Jordan, stand up for yourself! “I’m sorry,” he said as he looked away from his father.

“You should be!” John snapped, “You know Nick and Amy made it on time, in fact they were early. Amy is eating for two; she shouldn’t be left to starve because you can’t get here on time.”

“And you know that Jordan has to work until 6 John,” I walked up to Jordan and slipped my arm around his waist, I could feel the tension in his body. “He got home as early as he could.” I glared at John, “He could’ve not taken that shower, I guess.”

“Anna!” John smiled at me as he pulled me into a bear hug. “How is my favorite daughter?” He glanced at Jordan, “Boy when are you going to come to your senses and marry this one?”

I felt bad for Jordan, I hated that John treated him like he’s a big disappointment when he was the only one of his children who actually made anything of themselves. Jordan was the only one who went to college, he’s the only one with a trade and he’s the only one who can provide for himself, he doesn’t need to ask his parents for anything. But yet, John treats him like he’s a failure, he always had.

I wanted to give John a piece of my mind but Harriet came out of the kitchen at that moment, “Oh Anna!” She made her way over to me. “Jordan didn’t tell me you were coming with him.”

“That’s because I invited myself,” I lied. They didn’t need to know that he asked me to come to support him.

“Hello Jordan,” his mother gave him a hug and a kiss of the cheek. “I’m so glad that you could join us!”

Harriet told us to go sit in the living room as she pulled John into the kitchen to help her with something. The moment they disappeared Jordan groaned and pulled out the picture of Jenna, “She’s the only reason I’m here.”

“I know Jordy,” I took his hand and we walked into the living room to join Nick and Amy.

When Jordan sat down, Nick started to fire off questions about Jenna. Jordan showed him the picture and told him the same thing he told me last night about reading to her and the bath. He was in the middle of telling Nick about putting her to bed when his parents came back in the room. He snatched the picture out of Nick’s hand and hid it against the arm of the loveseat we were sitting on.

“What’s going on?” John asked as he looked back and forth between the two boys.

“Nothing dad,” Nick said. “We were just talking about work.”

John stared at the both of them for a while, it was clear that he didn’t believe Nick but he wasn’t about to call him a liar; but if it was Jordan who said that he would’ve. “Your mother has dinner ready,” he stated before turning on his heel and heading to the dining room.

Dinner was alright, Harriet wasn’t the best cook in the world but she tried. I guess that’s a good thing. The conversation around the table focused mainly on Amy’s pregnancy, with Harriet putting in her own personal experience. John didn’t say much, he seemed to be a little preoccupied by what was going on in the living room when he walked in because he kept looking back and forth between the boys.

I had finished my dinner and went to reach for another store bought roll when Harriet gasped. “Oh my word Anna,” She glanced back and forth between Jordan and me, “Is there something you two needed to tell us?”

Jordan turned to look at me with a confused look on his face and almost choked when he realized that I was wearing the eternity ring that Josh gave me, on that finger.

“No,” Jordan cried though his coughing.

Everyone stared at me. “What do you mean ‘no’?” His mother leaned in and grabbed my hand. “Honey that looks like an engagement ring to me!”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a huge grin appear on John’s face. Great, I thought. The first time he even seems to be a little proud of Jordan and it’s not even what they think.

I turned to Jordan; he looked at me over his glass of water. What should I say? Do I lie? I asked him silently.

He put his glass down, his eyes didn’t leave mine. I could tell he saw the look on his father’s face and I knew that he so badly wanted his approval. He cleared his throat and stood up, “Mom, dad.” He paused for a moment and I reached up to take his hand in mine. “Anna and I are….”

Looking Snazzy

Josh called a little after five that day. Before we got too far into our conversation, I told him that Jordan asked me to go with him to his parents’ house for dinner. “He figures that his parents aren’t going to react all that well when he tells them about Jenna, so he wants some support.” I paused briefly, “Is that ok?”

“Of course it is Anna,” Josh replied right away. “You don’t have to even ask, from what you’ve told me about Jordan’s father, I think it’s a good thing he asked you to be there.”

“Oh, I wasn’t sure if you had wanted to do something, that’s why I asked.” I was disappointed, I didn’t want him to be upset that I was spending time with Jordan again but I was hoping he’d be a little disappointed that we couldn’t see each other again that night.

Josh chuckled, “Honey I always want to do something with you, even if it’s just sitting around somewhere holding you in my arms. But I understand that Jordan needs your support right now and I kind of got invited to my parents for dinner again. When I called earlier to ask my dad if he had some time tonight to talk, my mom told him to tell me to come over for dinner. I think she believes there’s something wrong.”

I laughed, “I hear that mothers like to worry about their babies.”

“That’s what I hear too but I’m not a baby anymore Anna.”

“Don’t you know you’ll always be your mom’s little boy?” I smiled, I liked that I was able to joke around with Josh and he wouldn’t take what I said to hard.

He laughed, “I’m a tad too big to be considered little anymore.”

“Mmmm, yes you are,” I sighed.

“Anna,” Josh’s voice had a warning tone to it so I asked him what was wrong. “I’m in the living room of my parents’ house, and they are here with me.” He whispered into the phone, “So behave!”

“So I can’t tell you that I’m sitting here on my bed with nothing but a smile on?” I heard him groan so I continued. “And it’s probably not a good idea to tell you that I just got out of the shower so my skin is still wet, and so is my hair.”

His voice dropped an octave. “Stop honey, please stop.” I promised him I would and we went to hang up when he told me to hold on. I heard voices in the background but I couldn’t pick out what they were saying. Soon he came back on the line, “Anna my parents would like to know if you’ll come over to dinner with me on Sunday?”

I hesitated only because I knew I worked Sunday and I told him that. “Oh,” he replied. “Maybe another time then?”

He sounded so disappointed, I felt bad. Plus I really wanted to go. “No,” I told him. “Tell me what time and I’ll see if I can switch shifts with someone if it is during the time I work.”

Josh told me to hold on again and I heard the voices in the background again. “I made a mistake,” he told me when he came back. “It’s Sunday lunch, not dinner. So around noon; are you working?”

I told him I wasn’t working until four that day, so I would be there. Our conversation didn’t last much longer than that; he had to go help his dad with something. “Maybe you can give me a call if you get home early enough,” he mentioned before saying bye. I told him I would.

After we hung up, I jumped off my bed to get dressed for tonight. While I was putting the finishing touches on my hair, I heard Jordan come home. “Babe?” He called out as he walked down the hallway towards his room. I opened my door just in time to see him pulling his shirt off. “Oh there you are,” his eyes slid over my body. “Wow, you look really nice.”

I smiled, “Thank you Jordy.” I wasn’t wearing anything special, just a pair of brown low rise casual pants with a black striped blouse that had silver snaps instead of buttons. The top snap on my shirt was open and you could see the necklace that I wore around my neck that held Josh’s grandmother’s cross.

Jordan leaned in closer and lifted the necklace off my chest, “This is very nice too.” He smiled at me as his finger slipped over the cross. “Is Josh ok with you spending the night with me again?”

“Of course he is,” I smiled and then changed the subject. “Don’t you think you should go get cleaned up?”

Jordan dropped the cross and looked at his watch, “Damn we are going to be late. He’s going to kill me.” He quickly pressed a kiss against my lips and continued towards the bathroom, undressing as he went.

Family Ties

I was lost in some crazy dream; I wish I remembered what it was. I think I remember dreaming that I was trying to call someone, I’m not sure who it was but every time I picked up the phone to dial their number, all the numbers wouldn’t be where they were supposed to be. But the dream wasn’t important and I was kid of thankful when my phone woke me up at 7. Grabbing my phone I held it up to my ear for a moment before realizing that I didn’t even flip it open. “Mmm?” I managed to get out when I opened my phone.

Josh’s ‘good morning beautiful’ came out very soft and sexy.

“Mmmm,” I smiled as I rolled over onto my side and hugged my pillow. “Why aren’t you here holding me?”

He groaned, “I really wish I was Anna. It was very lonely without you here last night. I missed you.”

“Aww, how sweet!” I snuggled closer to my pillow and then pouted. “This pillow isn’t doing anything for me!”

Josh burst out laughing, “Good! Because mine hasn’t done a damn thing for me all night!”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, there were times that he made me feel so loved without even knowing it and that moment was one of them. “I love you so much Josh.”

If it was possible to hear someone smile, I would’ve sworn I heard him. “I love you too Anna.” I grinned, I didn’t say or do anything, I just laid there with this silly grin on my face. “Honey are you still there?”

“Yes,” I nodded, not that he saw me. “So how did it go last night? Was dinner good?”

“Dinner was nice; Tim and Lori were there with their daughters. Matt was working; otherwise he would’ve been there too.”

“Oh,” I frowned. “What about Walter and Roy?”

“Yeah they were there but there wasn’t anything new that they could tell me. Although, Roy did say he had a very good source that he’s meeting with tomorrow and he promises it’ll be big news.” Josh sighed, “I don’t know Anna. I don’t feel that I can trust Roy.”

“What do you mean? You think he’s lying to you?”

“Yes, I do. I don’t believe that he has anything. I think he’s just screwing my father out of money that he shouldn’t even be paying. I told dad that I would take care of this but he doesn’t listen, he wants to help.”

“Well honey did you speak to your dad about your reservations about Roy?”

“No, I didn’t. I should but I didn’t.” Josh sighed again, “Since dad’s heart attack a couple years ago, he’s been trying to find things to do to help pass the time since he has to take it easy and he is getting older; he’s going to be 75 this year. He wants to help me gain custody of Jesse and I don’t have the heart to tell him the guy he hired may be a fraud.”

“But don’t you think that he would rather know now how you feel? Josh you don’t know, maybe your dad already knows and he’s not sure how to tell you. Maybe he thinks he has your hopes up and he doesn’t want you to be disappointed.”

Josh was quiet; I wish I knew what he was thinking. “You could be right Anna,” he said finally. “I’ll go talk to dad after work today.”

“Good, maybe the two of you can come up with another way he can help you out with Jess.”

Josh and I spoke for a little while longer before he had to go shower and get ready for work. “I’ll call you when I get home,” he told me as we were saying goodbye.

I tried as hard as I could to fall back to sleep when I hung up the phone but I just tossed and turned. It wasn’t until I heard Jordan moving around that I decided that I had all day to sleep. Jumping out of bed, I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around me before going off to search for Jordan.

I found him in the kitchen getting a bowl of cereal. “Hey babe,” he said over his shoulder while he poured milk on his Honeycombs. “I thought you didn’t work today?”

“I don’t,” I smiled at him and grabbed his bowl of cereal. “Thanks for making me breakfast!” I laughed at his shocked expression as I made my way to the table.

Jordan came over and sat down next to me. “That’s mine,” he pulled the bowl away from me and began to eat. “And it’s yummy too!”

“So?” I smiled at him. “What are you doing after work?”

He took his time chewing the mouthful of cereal before he swallowed it. “Well I have to go to my parents’ house after work,” he screwed up his face when he said that.

“Oh? Is something going on?”

Jordan nodded, “Yes I have to tell my parents that they are grandparents.”

“Jordan!” I gasped, “You didn’t tell them about Jenna yet?”

“No,” he groaned. “I don’t want to hear my father rant and rave about how much of a loser I am because I got Heather pregnant.” Jordan paused and when he spoke again, he was talking faster and his voice was deeper. “Jordan, how could you be so irresponsible? You ruined Heather’s life, dumb ass! You can’t even take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of that little girl? Harriet talk some sense into that son of yours.”

“Jordan,” I reached out to touch his arm and he pulled away.

“Get out of the way woman,” he continued to speak like his dad. “I’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget.”

I stared at the look of hatred on Jordan’s face, so much anger and pain. I pushed up from my chair and circled around to the back of his. Leaning down, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. “No matter what happens tonight Jordan, it won’t change that you have a daughter who loves you.” He glanced at me. “She gave you kisses, remember? Jenna wouldn’t do that if she didn’t love you.”

Jordan slipped his hands over my arms, “Please come with me tonight babe. I’ll need all the love and support I can get.”

I didn’t hesitate, “I’ll be there Jordan.”

Promise Of Friendship

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I asked. “What do you mean Jordan? What kind of father do you think Jenna needs?”

Jordan rubbed his hand over his face and sighed, “She needs the type of dad that I can’t be Anna.”

“That’s not answering my question Jordy.”

“Jenna needs a dad like…” Jordan hesitated for a brief second before he continued. “Like Josh.”

Frowning, I stared at him. “What do you –” I laughed because I realized that was probably the third time I asked that question. “Why do you think Jenna needs a dad like Josh?”

Jordan rolled his eyes, “Like you don’t know,” he scoffed. “I don’t know how he does it Anna, or where he finds the time. Not only does he work full time and is in the beginning of a new relationship with you; he also has the time and energy to want to be a full time father? Is he crazy going for full custody of a two year old who wants so much attention?” He closed his eyes, “Anna I don’t think I could ever do what he’s doing. I could never even imagine attempting to take care of Jenna by myself. I know I would screw that up.”

“Jordan! You wouldn’t! If you were in the same boat as Josh, if you believed there was something wrong at Heather’s, you wouldn’t hesitate to do everything you could to make sure that Jenna grew up to be happy and strong.”

“No Anna,” Jordan shook his head. “I don’t think that I would. I love Jenna, I haven’t known her long but I know I love her. But I don’t think I could be a single father, ever.”

I shook my head, I didn’t agree with him. I knew Jordan a lot better than that but I also knew that there was no point in arguing with him when he made up his mind. “So are you telling me that you have no desire to see Jenna?”

“No!” Jordan snapped at me. “That’s not what I’m telling you at all. I want to see Jenna; I want to be a part of her life. I just won’t be a single dad.”

I chuckled softly, “Well Jordan technically you are a single dad.”

“Ha ha,” he gave me a half grin. “I meant that I wouldn’t be in charge of her daily schedule. I won’t go after Heather for full custody, like Josh is doing with Carol.”

“No one ever said that you had to go for full custody Jordan. You have to stop comparing yourself to Josh, the situation with Carol and Jesse is a lot different than the one with Heather and Jenna.”

Jordan nodded, “I know. I just thought you wanted me to do it.”

“What!?!” I stared at him in disbelief. “Why on earth would you think that?”

“Because you love kids,” he said softly. “You seem to think that I’ll be a good father.” He shrugged, “I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”

“Oh Jordy!” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I do think you’ll be a great daddy to Jenna but I don’t expect you to take over her primary care giving. I want you to be happy Jordan, and I know that just being in Jenna’s life will make you happy.”

He smiled, “And it means that you get to be in her life too.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course I want to be in her life! Jordy you are my best friend, I’m entitled to be an aunt to any child you have. I deserve that privilege after putting up with you for all these years!”

“I wasn’t that bad,” Jordan laughed.

“No? Then I wish for Jenna to be just like you were.” I grinned when Jordan’s smile disappeared.

“Oh God! She’s never leaving the house! I’m telling Heather that Jenna is going into a convent, now!”

“But you weren’t that bad,” I laughed. “Isn’t that what you just said?”

Jordan glared at me, “I wasn’t. It was the friends I hung around with.”

It was well after 1 am when Jordan finally told me that he had to go to bed. “Babe you know I’d love to stay up and talk,” he yawned. “But I have to get up soon.”

“I know,” I pouted. I didn’t want the night to be over; I didn’t realize how much I missed having these late night chats with Jordan.

We crawled off the couch and made our way down the hall. “Promise me something,” I asked as I turned in my doorway to look towards his.

“What’s that Anna?” He leaned against his doorframe, his eyes half closed with sleep.

“Promise me that we’ll do this again? That we’ll take time for us,” I bit my lip as I waited for him to respond.

Jordan pushed off the doorframe and made his way over to my door. “Anna,” he whispered as he pulled me into his arms. “I promise that I’ll always be ready for ‘us’.”

Father Time

I was relaxing on the couch in the dark when Jordan came home. I listened to him kick off his boots and hang up his jacket. “Anna?” He called uncertainly as he walked further into the house, flipping on a light or two as he went.

“I’m in the living room,” I called out as I jumped off the couch to make my way out to the kitchen. “Or I was,” I laughed as I rounded the corner.

Jordan was in the middle of opening the oven door, “Hey!” He closed the door and tried to look innocent as he smiled at me. “What did you do today?”

I laughed, “I made stew.”

He groaned, “Oh thank God. I’m starving!” Jordan went to the cupboards and pulled out two bowls. “It’s going to be ready soon?”

I told him it was ready already as I grabbed the oven mitts to pull the roaster from the over. “I was just waiting for you to come home.”

While we eat he kept telling me stories about work no matter how hard I tried to get him to talk about Jenna. Finally I just gave up and let him talk. It was amazing how many stories he came up with during supper and the entire time we were doing the dishes. At one point I had to stop and ask him if everything he was saying actually happened.

“Of course it happened,” he smiled. “Do you think I would make this up to not tell you about Jenna?”

“Yes!” I exclaimed while I whacked him with the cup towel. He just laughed and continued to tell me work stories until we finished the dishes.

Once we were done the dishes, Jordan excused himself. “I stink,” he told me as he headed for his room.

“Jordy!” I ran after him, stopping him before he entered his room. “Come on, give me something! Please?”

He thought about his for a moment and then a slow smile started to cross his face. “Ok,” he leaned closer to me.

I raised a brow and waited to hear what he would say.

But he didn’t say anything, at the last moment he dropped his shoulder, pulling me over and picked me off the floor. “Jordy put me down!” I screamed as he carried me into his room.

When he reached his bed, he dropped me into it and climbed up next to me. “Babe, she’s so beautiful. And she knows who I am, she calls me daddy.”

“Really?” I gave him a hug. “What does Heather think about that?”

He shrugged, “I think she’s fine with it, I am Jenna’s father. But I don’t think Hank is too happy about it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I sensed that there was something off while I was there.” He shrugged again, “Maybe it was just me.”

Maybe you sensed Heather’s anger towards Hank’s drinking last night, I thought. Jordan stared down at me, “What are you thinking?”

I wanted to tell him, I almost started to but then I wondered should I be the one to tell him. Or is that something Heather should tell him? “I was just wondering what could be off,” I lied.

“Oh really?” He questioned, I knew he wouldn’t believe me. “Well,” he slapped my butt. “I have to go shower so I suggest you leave,” he paused. “Unless you want to see what a real man looks like?”

I gasped, “You mean Josh is here?” I pretended to look around while he pretended he was hurt.

“You hurt my feeling.” He held his hand over his heart. “That’s right, you hurt on my and only feeling.”

“Oh Jordan!” I rolled my eyes and crawled off his bed.

While he was in the shower I went into my room and changed into my pjs. As I was brushing my hair to put it up, I spied my phone and almost grabbed for it to call Josh. I wonder what he’s doing now, I thought before I shook my head, you are focusing on Jordan tonight.

I made my way back out to the living room and turned on the TV while I waited for Jordan to be finished in the bathroom. During my channel surfing I found a rerun of ER; one of the shows from the 5th season, I was so engrossed in what was happening on the screen that I didn’t hear Jordan coming towards the living room until it was too late.

“Cannonball!” He yelled just before he hopped over the back of the couch and landed on me. “Hey babe!”

“Get off me!” I slapped his arm until he wiggled his way behind me. “Why do you do that?”

He laughed, “Because you love it when I jump you.”

We argued back and forth about whether I actually did like it for a good ten minutes before I told him I did just to shut him up. “Ah ha! I knew it!” He cried, “But babe, you have to control those urges for me. You have a boyfriend, remember? Big tall guy that would squish me like a bug if I happened to look at you the wrong way?”

I shook my head, “Josh isn’t that mean, he wouldn’t get rid of you. Unless I begged him too, of course.”

The harassment continued for a while, it was so much fun to lay there and bug him like we used to do. “I miss this,” I told him when there was a break in the conversation.

Jordan’s arms tightened around me, “I miss this too babe.”

Silence soon came over us as we both got lost in our own thoughts, ask him about Jenna!

I turned around to face him, “Jordan please tell me about your visit with Jenna.”

He smiled, “Heather was just about to give her a bath when I got there. I didn’t think she would let me watch that, and she didn’t.”

“What did you do?”

“She wouldn’t let me watch her give Jenna a bath, she made me give her a bath.”

I gasped, “She let you bathe Jenna?”

He nodded, “It was so weird at first. There Jenna was in all her glory, just giggling away and I was scared shitless! I worried that I had the water too warm, then I worried I would get soap in her eyes and if that wasn’t enough, I freaked when Heather told me I had to wash Jenna everywhere.” He blushed a little when he said that. “For that one brief moment, I wished she was a boy because I know how to clean…” his voice trailed off for a moment. “But she’s not, so I had to get Heather to tell me how. And that was creepy, I felt like such a pervert.”

I chuckled, “Jordan it’s different when it’s your daughter.”

He rolled his eyes, “I know! But it was still weird.”

“So then what?”

“Well after Jenna’s bath, I dried her and got her dressed. Heather even let me rock her and read her a bedtime story.” I watched Jordan’s expression through all this; he seemed to be in awe still. “After the story, I got to put her in bed and tuck her in. She gave me kisses Anna,” his voice broke. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

I stared up at him, “Don’t know if you can do what Jordy?”

He took a deep breath, “I don’t know if I can be the daddy that Jenna deserves.”