Monday, March 5, 2007

Sister-In-Sane

I must have sat outside my house for way too long after I pulled into the driveway because my front door opened and Jordan stood there impatiently waving at me to come in. As I got out of my car and walked towards the house, I still had no idea what to say to Susan.

“It’s about time you got here.” Jordan said once we were inside. “Susan has been asking for you for the past half hour.”

“I don’t know what to say to her.” I told him frantically.

He groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. “Anna, I don’t care what you say to her, just get her out of here. If I have to listen to her go on an on about your brother any longer, I think I’m going to scream.”

“Oh thanks a lot Jordan, it’s not like anyone in my family has ever asked you to help them before.” Giving him a dirty look, I started to walk away.

“Anna,” he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t know what to say to her, I didn’t expect to see her when the doorbell rang last night. And you know how uncomfortable I am around crying women.”

I knew I was upset and unfairly taking it out on him, I sighed. “Jordy…” What I was about to say was interrupted by the sudden impact of a 4 year old throwing his arms around my legs. “Hey Conner,” I leaned over and picked him up. “How are you doing sweetie?”

He rested his head on my shoulder, “Where’s daddy?”

“Your daddy is at Uncle Zach’s,” I told him.

“Oh,” he looked so sad. “Mommy said daddy was with you, why didn’t you bring daddy here?”

I closed my eyes and mentally cursed Susan. “I didn’t know mommy and you were here, otherwise I would’ve brought your daddy with me.” I glanced over my shoulder at Jordan and motioned him to come get Conner. “Why don’t you go with Uncle Jordan while I go talk to mommy?”

Conner looked from me to Jordan and back again, “Ok,” he said stretching out towards Jordan.

I waited until Jordan had Conner occupied with his trucks before I ventured down the hall to the guest room where Jordan said Susan and my 10 year old niece, Krystal were.

“Can I come in?” I asked as I opened the door slowly and peeked inside. Susan was laying in bed still in her pjs and Krystal was sitting on the covers looking upset. “Hey,” I found a smile somewhere inside and pasted it on.

Susan blew her nose. “Hello Anna,” she looked at Krystal and reached out to rub her arm. “Honey could you go out and keep an eye on your brother, I need to talk to Anna.”

“But mom,” Krystal tried to object but Susan gave her a look and she sighed. “Fine.” Krystal jumped of the bed and headed towards me, stopping when she got at the door to look up at me. I stared down into her red eyes and watched as the tears built up in them again. “Does daddy miss me?”

I nodded, trying not to let my emotions take hold of me. “Yes, he misses you.”

Krystal glanced at her mom and then looked back at me, “Is he coming for us?”

I didn’t know how to answer that one; I couldn’t very well tell her that he didn’t know where they were even if she knew that already. I took a big breath and let it out. “Your mom has the van honey. Your daddy is hoping that you go back for him.”

She thought about that for a moment then turned and walked through the door, closing it behind her.

I made my way over to the bed and took the spot that Krystal just vacated. “So…” I traced the pattern on the comforter hoping for something brilliant to come to mind, nothing did.

“Does he really miss us?” Susan asked as she blew her nose again.

My head snapped up and I looked at her in disbelief. “Do you really need to ask that?” She shook her head. “Susan what happened?”

Susan chuckled sadly, wiping the tears that were rolling down her cheeks away. “I’m sure Chad told you everything that happened already and you think I’m being crazy.”

“Well,” I gave her a little smile and shrugged, “It’s not like you to be like this. Honestly, I thought if any one of my brother’s wives would leave, it would be Mary. You and Chad seem to always be able to talk things through before it got pass being upset. What happened?”

“I don’t know what came over me. I know that Chad isn’t interested in Wanda, in fact if you listen to him when he does mention her, I often wondered if he ever was.” Susan shrugged her shoulders, “I guess the fact that he was making plans and arrangements on his own, which you know is so out of character, made me wonder if there wasn’t something else going on.”

She took a deep breath, “Anna, I love him and I know he loves me. But the second that woman opened that door, threw herself at him and he didn’t do a damn thing about it made me doubt everything I thought I knew.”

“He didn’t try to push her off?”

She shook her head, “No he just let her pull him into the house and I had to listen to ‘remember when you mentioned that you wanted ...’ or ‘this house has a fireplace like at that cabin...'.” Susan rolled her eyes. “Blah, blah blah! I stood there thinking, ‘bitch, get your hands off my husband, you had your chance and you screwed up!’”

As I sat there listening to what Susan was saying I became even angrier the fact that Chad didn’t do anything to free himself from Wanda’s grasp. I started to think about how I would feel if that was Josh with Carol and I saw red. “That bastard!” I exclaimed out of the blue making Susan jumped.

“Hey that’s my husband you are talking about.” Susan snapped at me.

I jumped off the bed, “Some husband he turned out to be. I can’t believe that he didn’t do anything. How could he just stand there and let her go on like that knowing you were hearing it and probably not liking it one bit. God,” I scoffed, “Men are such jerks.”

Susan was sitting up in bed, wide eyed, staring at me. “You know what?” I looked at her; she shook her head but said nothing. “You were right to be mad, hell you should have decked the bastard before you left.” I sat back on the bed and reached for her hand, she flinched but let me take it. “Don’t go back, he doesn’t deserve you. Make him suffer for being so damn stupid.”

“Anna!” Susan pulled her hand out of my grasp and gaped at me. “He’s not that bad! He’s my husband and I over reacted when it happened. I know he loves me and I know he wants me. He doesn’t deserve what I did. Oh my God!” She threw back the covers and hopped out of bed. “He must be so worried, I didn’t tell him where I was going, and I didn’t call him. Oh!” She cried as she tugged off her night shirt, got dressed and grabbed her stuff. “I have to go back, I need to call him.” She looked around frantically. “Anna! Where’s my cell?” She grabbed hold of the bed sheets and threw them on the floor. “I need my phone, I have to call him and tell him I’m sorry.” She stood back and looked at the bed, tears just streaming down her face. “Where’s my phone!”

“In your hand,” I said as I held my hands up to my face, I was truly afraid of her at this moment, I never seen her like this before.

She held out her hands and stared at the phone. “Oh my God! I’m losing it.” She collapsed onto the bed and buried her head in her hands. “What’s wrong with me Anna?” I reached out and touched her shoulder and she jumped, turning towards me. “Why am I so emotional? I’m normally so rational.”

I had a thought but I didn’t want to tell her what it was so I just shrugged. She shook her head. “I know you are thinking something, tell me!” She screamed at me as her hand grabbed hold of the pillow beside her. I moved back from her, I seriously thought she was going to smack me with the pillow. “Tell me!”

I put my hand on the pillow she was holding. “Are you…?”

She tugged at the pillow, “I’m not insane!”

I wanted to laugh but I resisted the temptation. “I didn’t think you were,” I said slowly. “But Susan, could you, you know?”

“What?” She snapped, her patience obviously wearing thin.

“Are you…” I found I couldn’t ask, so I did the next best thing. “Well, the last time you were emotional was about 5 years ago.”

I watched her face as it went from looking confused; to realization of what I meant hitting her and then her face went extremely white. “Oh my God!” She gasped, “I’m pregnant.”

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awesome post!!! Pregnancy does weird things! Could Anna and Susan go through pregnancy together? Hmm....

Anonymous said...

I am happy that she is going back to Chad. I felt sorry for him. Men CAN be stupid sometimes. They don't think about how sensitive we can be, ESPECIALLY if it involves hormones that are out of wack.
L

Anna said...

So apparently more people than I realized read this over the weekend ~g~ Like I said, I thought about it but I wouldn't stop posting on the weekends, especially now.

There are times that I wish I had something to say to the readers, in a more one on one way, but sometimes I can't find the words to comment on something they say. I like to think I don't just give my attention to those who tell me that they love the blog, I assume that anyone who doens't get there and say, "I hate this", loves it.

Donna, you don't have to boost my ego for me to notice you...some of the comments that I remember the most are ones from you...like when I wrote about Hank first and you told everyone that they shouldn't overthink who he is just becasue I wrote about him...and when you were talking about how crazy Carol was and then you mentioned about your parents divorce. Those are the comments that for one reason or another, I can't find the words to say anything back. I'm glad you read this blog and I always enjoy hearing what you have to say about the entries ~s~

Randi 12 hour shifts?? God, I think I'd go insane...thank goodness for the internet I guess ~l~

I'll see everyone tomorrow...or at least you'll all have something new to read tomorrow...~g~

Anonymous said...

Wow, I didn't know you could get THAT crazy when you're pregnant! I'm glad that Susan is going back to Chad. I wonder if Anna realized how her ouburst had a "reverse pyschology" effect.....I know that after this emotional morning, Anna will be so happy to relax with Josh.

Anonymous said...

WOW! Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. We really are such different creatures, in the way we react and the way deal with things. Anna, you write both sides so well. I LOVE reading this blog!!

It's my lunchtime treat :^)

Vikki

Anonymous said...

didn't zack told anna NOT to get caught up in susans anger....that's exactly what she did!but maybe she truly understands the whole josh-jordan-anna siuation now

Anonymous said...

I know it's probably not the right reaction, but this post makes me happy. She is inlove with Chad and he is truely sorry for what happened and they are expecting a baby. I hope Chad is happy and their relationship grows stronger with what just happend.

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna,

I have never posted before but started reading just after you started this blog. I absolutely LOVE it!

I am like all the others, SO addicted, it is crazy. I love how you always try to post something personal at the end to kinda help us get to know you better.

Keep up the FANTASTIC work and keep em coming.

Anonymous said...

Great post as always!!! Loved the twist @ the end... what a great (& funny) explanation! Can't wait for the next post.

~Tara

Anonymous said...

i feel like a celebrity, cause i know everytime you mention someone's comments i always read them after and i'm like 'damn, they've got a good point' or 'dang, i bet that's what's going to happen!!!'

don't they say that a lot of stress can hurt the baby? so hopefully if she is pregnant, that being so upset all night and the next day long didn't hurt anything.

mya's a genius, i bet anna learned a little bit about the whole situation with her and jordan and josh, even if she doesn't realize it yet.

Anonymous said...

Anna,

Started reading your blog recently and am enjoying it. When are we going to get another double post? Once a day just isn't enough anymore.