Thursday, March 22, 2007

Amature Shrink

I didn’t stay at Zach’s much longer after he made the promise that Josh would get full custody of Jesse. It’s not that I didn’t want to hang out with my brother and his wife; he seemed to be the one who didn’t want me around. I’m not even going to think about why he was damn near pushing me out the door but I’m pretty certain it had nothing to do with the questions I was asking.

I drove aimlessly around town for a while, trying to find something to do. Now that everyone’s holidays are officially over, there isn’t anyone around for me to really go visit. I debated taking a quick run to work to see when I’m scheduled on Thursday but I wasn’t in any real hurry to find out.

So I went home.

When I pulled into the driveway I sat there for a moment and realized that with everything that’s been going on lately, I’ve missed just hanging out doing nothing with Jordan. I even started to feel really bad for my attitude with him lately. Despite the fact that he with held information from me and threw a huge twist in the mix when he told me how he felt about me, he is still my best friend and I kind of forgotten that. Plus I left him at the restaurant with my family without even thinking twice!

The house was dark and silent like I knew it would be. Jordan liked to sleep late when he didn’t have to work and since he’s off until Wednesday for sure, snoring away is exactly where I knew I would find him.

“Rise and shine Sunshine!” I called from his doorway and ducked the pillow that he sent my way. “Come on Jordy, get up!”

“Nooo,” He groaned. “And give me back my pillow.” His hand slipped from underneath the pile of blankets covering him.

I stood at the side of his bed, dangling his pillow over his opened hand and pulled it back every time he tried to grab it. “Damn you’ve gotten slow in your old age Jordy,” I joked as I pulled the pillow away from him again.

“Old age?” He tossed the blankets off his head, “Just because this weekend is my birthday, doesn’t mean I’m old!” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me across the bed. “Now give me my pillow and let me sleep.”

I let him take his pillow and he crawled back under the blankets. “Oh does grandpa need his beauty sleep?”

“I don’t know,” Jordan peeked out from underneath the blankets, “why don’t you go find Josh and ask?” I gasped and grinned at the same time. “I don’t want to know!” Jordan said before hiding again.

“But Jordy,” I tried to pulled the blankets away from his face but he kept pushing my hand away.

“I don’t need to know,” Jordan’s laughing voice came from under the blankets, “Keep your dirty deeds to you…” He grabbed my hand that had Josh’s ring on it; he quickly pushed back the blankets and tugged my hand closer to him. “What is that?”

“It’s a ring,” I told him as I tried to get my hand back.

His face was void of any expression, “What kind of ring is it?” He asked, his eyes searching mine.

“What does it look like?”

Dropping my hand as if it burned his, his jaw dropped as he stared at me. “Please tell me it’s not what I think it is.” He didn’t give me a chance to say anything. “Anna!” Jordan fell back against his bed for a second then jumped back up to look at me. “Are you crazy? You’ve only known the guy for a couple weeks and he asks you to marry him?”

“Jordan!”

“Oh God I can only imagine what your brother had to say about this.” He fell back against the bed again. “Unbelievable,” he said under his breath.

“Not that it is any of your business but he did ask me to marry him,” Jordan rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything. “But this isn’t an engagement ring Jordan.”

“What is it then? And why is it on that finger is it’s not?”

I sighed, “Jordy there’s so much going on, there’s so much I need to talk about. I need you to be my friend right now. I need you to put aside any dislike for Josh and just be here for me like you always have.”

Jordan rolled onto his side, “Anna you know that no matter what happens I’ll always be here for you, when you don’t leave me sitting in restaurants all by my lonesome that is.”

I smiled, “I’m sorry but you managed to make it home I see.”

He nodded, “Oh yes it was a nice long walk home. I was tempted to just say screw it and sleep on the sidewalk but I knew that your brother or his pals would pick me up for loitering or something. I can’t face a night in jail! I won’t!”

“Oh Jordy!” I threw my arms around him and laughed. “Zach brought you home, didn’t he?”

“Of course he did. But he didn’t seem too happy about the fact that you just ran out yesterday.”

“I’m sorry Jordan.”

“It must have been important,” Jordan held up my hand. “It lead to this and,” he dropped my hand. His finger slipped under the chain around my neck and he pulled the cross out from under my shirt, “this too. Anna what happened yesterday?”

I found myself telling Jordan everything that happened and every thing I felt along the way. “I’m scared Jordan,” I said after every thing.

“What are you scared of?”

I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. “I know I love Josh. I want to be with him but don’t know if I can handle all the ups and downs with him.”

Jordan frowned, “What do you mean Anna? You can handle anything.”

“Jordy I’m afraid that one day he won’t need me like he does now and he will realize that I’m not the strong person he thinks I am. Hell I run from confrontations, I pick at the little things he says and twist them around to make them bad and I don’t have the nerve to tell him what I’m thinking half the time.”

Jordan smiled, “Anna you’ve always been like that.”

“But why am I like that Jordan?” I hugged myself, “I’m afraid I will drive him away in the end.”

Jordan shifted closer and wrapped his arms around me. “I think you do it because you are afraid people will leave.”

I laughed, “They do if I drive them away!”

Jordan shook his head, “No Anna, I think you haven’t really gotten past your parents accident.”

9 comments:

Anna said...

Good Morning Everyone ~s~

I've posted earlier the last couple days because I was actually home and awake at that time. Like I said before I work overnights, and even when I'm off I have a hard time sleeping at those hours. And when I try to sleep people need me to do stuff...So sometimes I don't get much sleep at all ~l~

Speaking of that...right now I'm tired and the phone is silent...I'm going to try to get some sleep...I think ~l~

Enjoy this post...and I'll be back tomorrow ~s~

Anonymous said...

Amazing post, loved it like always : )

tita said...

Anna,
I love your story and I love Josh!!!!
Keep going like this.
XOXO

Anonymous said...

Great post!! I'm glad to see Jordan and Anna being real friends again.

Keep up the great writing.

Vikki

Anonymous said...

I've just finished reading this entire thing and it's great, there are only a few things that I found annoyed me a little in the posts.

1. That for a 2 year old Jess has basically a perfect vocabulary, you have him express every feeling with words instead of movements and facial expressions like most children that age would, unless he's a genius it's not very realistic.

2. I know that it's a fictional blog, but most of the posts are WAY over the top. Most books/TV shows don't even have that much drama, it's a little overwhelming that everything has to be a life changing, massive event. Some things CAN just be good or bad, without it having to bust with gushing romance, or breaking down into fits of tears.

Otherwise, I think it's great, and great work, and I look foward to reading more.

Anonymous said...

Anna don't change ANYTHING, your BLOG ROCKS!!!!

Anonymous said...

I dont know about any of you but most of the two year olds that I know have a very good vocabulary. I love your posts and not all of them are drama filled some of them are just down to earth spending time with other people. I love it so dont change it please : )

Anonymous said...

Anna:

I just want to let you know that I have spent the past two days at work reading your blog. I love it! I was disappointed when I came to the last entry and there wasn't anything else to read! I read several blogs, but I have to say that yours is now my favorite. It's real, and that is something that is hard to find on blogs lately. I love the characters you have created as well. Keep up the good writing! I will be back for more!

Misty

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