Lunch Conversation And Tears?

When I finally calmed down enough, Zach moved back from me. “There are a million things I want to say right now,” he told me, he was frowning so I knew what he was thinking wasn’t good. “I know you think I have no right to tell you want to do but Anna you haven’t been seeing Josh all that long and the mere thought that you think you could possibly be pregnant already scares the crap out of me.”

“I know you love children,” he continued. “I know you want to be a mom. And I know that Josh wants more children too. But with Josh trying to focus all his energy on getting full custody of Jesse, I don’t think bringing a baby in to this relationship right now would be such a good idea.”

“You think we are moving too fast?” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, I knew we were and so did Josh but we found it difficult to take that step back.

“Yes.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitting as I turned to him. “When I’m not with him, he’s all I think about.”

“You know that things will be different between you two starting tomorrow, right?”

“What do you mean?” I was confused.

Zach took a deep breath, “Tomorrow Josh goes back to work. Before Christmas, Josh barely had the time to hang out with us. I’m pretty sure that between his work and Jesse, he won’t have that much free time to spend with you. How are you going to deal with not seeing him as much then?”

I wanted to tell Zach that Josh would have time, that nothing would change but I wasn’t so sure. He goes back to school and I go back to working nights. We won’t get to see each other until the weekends, I sighed, and then he has Jesse. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I really don’t know.”

Zach told me to think about it some more and told him I would talk to Josh about it. He smiled and then changed the subject, “Now come on let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

****

A half hour later we were all seated around a couple tables in the back of Schezwan Village waiting for our waitress to bring our drinks and to tell us that the buffet was ready; Zach had only giving Mrs. Chung a 10 minute notice that we were all going there for lunch, so they needed a few more minutes to refill the table for us.

I was off in my own little world, thinking about the conversation I had with Josh last night and the one I had with Zach earlier. I was barely listening to the conversation going on around the table and I wasn’t saying all that much. “Babe, are you ok?” Jordan elbowed me in the ribs as he leaned in closer to me.

As Zach followed Chad and his family out the door on his way out the door to go get Mary and the girls, he had turned back towards me and nodded to Jordan, “Make sure you don’t forget to bring ‘hop along’ with you.” I laughed and told him Jordan wouldn’t let me forget to take him when Chinese food was involved.

I smiled up at Jordan, “Yeah I’m ok. I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

He slid closer to me, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I leaned back and let my head fall back against the top of the booth’s seat. “No Jordy.” I shook my head and closed my eyes.

“I see,” I opened my eyes and looked at him. “So is it because you don’t trust me or because you really don’t want to talk about it?”

“I just don’t feel like talking about it,” I told him. He nodded and turned back to the table, not saying a word but I could tell he didn’t believe me. I sighed, pushing myself up from laying back. “Jordy,” I wrapped my arm around his back and leaned over until I could see his face. “I need some time to figure out what I’m thinking before I can even put it into words, you know that.”

He slipped his arm around my waist and turned to face me, “yeah I know.” His face was mere inches away from mine and we sat there looking into each other’s eyes until he made a face. “Did you even brush your teeth this morning?” He laughed.

I glared at him and slapped the back of his head before moving away from him, “Of course I did.”

He raised a brow and shook his head, “Then you better go brush them again because that’s just plain nasty Anna.”

I turned away from him and crossed my arms over my chest, “I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Yes! Silence.” He joked.

I was saved from saying anything when the waitress came over to tell us the food was ready. Jordan didn’t waste anymore time bugging me; he hopped out of the booth and headed for the buffet table.

Conversation around the table revolved around Susan and Chad, everything from the baby to the possible move here. By the time everyone was finished with dessert Chad and Susan had decided that they were in fact moving here and Zach was telling them about possible housing options. He also promised to help them get moved and set up here, “If there is any thing I can do, please don’t hesitate to let me know.” Anyone could see that he was excited about having them back here, maybe even more than they were to be moving here.

As the conversation went on to talk about when they would be moving, Josh’s cell phone rang. I wasn’t expecting it to ring so I had put it in the pocket of my jacket, which was hanging on the rack just on the other side of where I was sitting. By the time I had realized that it was ringing, got Jordan to move so I could get out and finally fished it out of my pocket, the phone had stopped ringing.

“Maybe next time just jump over me?” Jordan offered as I frowned at the silent phone.

I rolled my eyes and went to tell him to shut up, when the phone started to ring again. Looking at the caller id, I saw Josh’s number and answered it. “I’m trying again Jess.” I heard Josh say to a crying Jesse as I went to say ‘hello’.

“Josh? Is everything ok?” I motioned for Jordan to move over and sat down on the bench. “Why is Jesse crying?”

“Anna! Hey!” It sounded like I caught him off guard. “Jess please, I’m trying to talk to Anna.”

“Ama?” Jesse questioned, his crying grew quieter.

“Yes, I have her on the phone.”

“Josh what’s going on?”

“Hey honey sorry about that. Ummm, what are you doing right now?”

I looked around the table; everyone was silent and trying to listen to my conversation. “I’m having lunch with my nosey family. Now what’s going on there? Why was Jesse crying?”

He gave a little chuckle, “I think he’s losing his mind.”

“Josh!”

“Well, I do. He’s crying because you aren’t here.”

“What?” I shook my head, “But he told me…”

He laughed, “I know! It’s crazy. After we hung up earlier he kept asking if it was later and I didn’t know what he meant but I said no. When ‘Cars’ was over he asked again and I asked him what was so important about later. He told me you said you were coming over later. Then I explained to him that you weren’t coming over until he went home because he wanted to spend time alone with me and he just started to cry. I tried…Jesse don’t grab the phone.”

“Daddy I talk Ama?”

“Jess wants to talk to you,” He told me before handing the phone to him.

“Ama?” His voice still shaky from the crying came over the phone.

“Yes Jesse?”

He took a big breath, “I sorry Ama, you come over now?”

I didn't even hesitate. “Yes, I’ll be right there.” He said ‘ok, bye’ and hung up before I could say anything else.

I flipped the phone closed and held it against my chest, I couldn’t help but smile. “I have to go.” I told everyone as I grabbed my jacket and ran for the door, completely ignoring Zach as he called after me.