Gifts Of Every Kind

“Marry me.”

I heard him say those words but my brain didn’t register that he was actually saying them so I laid there in his arms, frozen. So many things were running through my head at that moment, ‘YES!’ was the first and most insistent runner though. But dragging behind that ‘yes’ was ‘is he only asking to better his chances for getting custody’. Don’t be so ridiculous! He wouldn’t use you like that, he’s not that selfish.

Josh sighed, “I take that as a ‘no’.” He went to roll away from me but I held him tight. Just him thinking that I would say no made me want to cry. “Anna it’s ok, I guess it is too soon to be asking.”

“I didn’t say no Josh,” I stated softly.

He nodded, “I know you didn’t. I just feel kind of stupid now.”

“Why?”

“Because you didn’t say anything and you froze. I could feel your whole body go stiff.” He gave a sad little chuckle, “It’s not the response that I was hoping for, so I guess it’s too soon.”

“Oh Josh, honey if you could have heard my mind you’d heave heard the response you were hoping for.” I groaned, “My mind screamed ‘yes’.”

He moved away from me for a moment, he must have turned to switch on the lamp because the room was suddenly flooded with light. “Oh god!” I buried my face against his chest. “It’s so bright!”

He laughed, “It’s supposed to be.” He tried to move back from me but I held fast to him. “Anna, please look at me.” Reluctantly I looked up at him through squinty eyes. “You seriously were thinking yes?” I nodded, “So what made you freeze? Or should I guess?”

I frowned as I looked off to the right. “I couldn’t help but wonder for a second if you were asking because it could help you with custody,” he went to say something but I covered his mouth. “Then I lectured myself for thinking that because you wouldn’t use me like that, and I know it.”

When I removed my hand from his mouth, he took a deep breath. “You are right; I wouldn’t do that to you. I know that you thought that because we were talking about custody.” He paused and took my left hand in his and lifted it to his mouth. With my palm facing him, he pressed his lips against the bottom of my ring finger. “Anna, do you know that you are the only person who seems to understand what I’m going through? You don’t try to make me feel better; you don’t try to give me words of encouragement. You let me have my space, you let me deal with my demons, and you let me come to you whenever I’m ready. You tell me exactly what you think not what you think I want to hear.” His lips turned up into a smile and then a big grin. “There are so many reasons why I love you, and every day I discover a few more.”

I couldn’t help but smile, never before had a guy gotten there and told me everything he loved about me, and didn’t include my body or my moves in bed. Josh leaned down and pressed a tiny kiss against my lips before he continued. “I want you to marry me; I want you to be my wife and to share everything this life has to offer the both of us. But,” he ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t want you to feel pressured to make a decision this soon. You can take time to think about it, if you need too. You can say yes and we can wait until later to tell everyone and plan our life together. You can say yes and we could go ahead with everything now. Hell, you can even tell me to get lost,” he chuckled, “but I’m hoping that’s not what you do.”

He was looking at me expectantly, he might not want an answer to marrying him but he did want to know where he stood. “Josh I love you, I really do.”

“But?”

I sighed, “Part of me wants to tell you yes and run with it but the other part of me, the logical part, wants to wait a little while longer.” I bit my lip, “The pregnancy scare had got me thinking about the future already, what would’ve happened if I would’ve been and if it would have been a good thing for us this early.”

“Would’ve been? We aren’t pregnant?” He seemed a little upset by this revelation. I shook my head ‘no’. “Are you sure? Did you do a test?” I nodded and told him about my afternoon with Susan. “Is it possible you tested too early? I mean, we only just started to make love, it could’ve been too early to tell.”

He sounded so hopeful that I hated to be the one to crush his dream. “I know my body Josh; I get the feeling I’m going to be bitchy soon.”

“Bitchy?” Josh looked confused for a brief second. “Oh. Well. Hmm.” I grinned; it was funny how you could always throw a guy off by mentioning that time of the month. He was quiet for a moment, and then he pushed back the sheets and jumped out of bed.

“Josh?” I sat up quickly.

He looked over his shoulder at me and smiled. “I have something I want to give you; I’ve wanted to give it to you for a while actually.”

“Oh?” I questioned but he didn’t say anything else as he opened the closet door and went to lean over.

“Umm? Anna?” Josh partially turned towards me. “Would you mind closing your eyes?”

“Is it that big of a surprise?” I asked getting really excited.

“Well, it’s a big deal for me to give this to you. But ahhh,” he shifted uncomfortably. “That’s not why I want you to close your eyes.”

“Why do you want me to close my eyes?” I asked him slowly while I tried to figure out what could possibly be the issue.

He coughed and I swear his cheeks got a little red. “Well…umm… I have to,” he coughed again. “What I have to get it’s…” he looked down to the boxes at his feet. “Down there.”

With a brow raised I started at him in utter confusion, “So?”

“Anna just close your eyes!”

I looked back and forth from the boxes to him a couple times and then it hit me, he had to bend over! “Oh!”

“Yeah, so please?”

I giggled as my eyes ran over his naked body, “Not comfortable bending over in front of me?”

His cheeks were bright red by now, the ones on his face that is! “I don’t think it’s my best angle honey.”

I tilted my head to the side as I checked out his butt. “Hmmm, it’s a nice butt though, I give it an 8.”

By this time, I thought he couldn’t get any redder but he proved me wrong. “Anna!” Then he frowned, “Why only an 8?” He glanced behind him.

I laughed and tossed a pillow at him, “I’m not that big a fan of asses!” Falling back against the bed, I almost died at my own joke. “Heeheehee asses,” I shook my head and pulled the blankets up over me. “How’s that?” I called from the dark recesses of the bed sheets.

“Good,” he replied and then I heard him rummaging through the boxes. I was tempted to sneak a peek but I didn’t want him to catch me and get mad. I couldn’t believe that a guy so confident and comfortable with himself could have an issue with any part of his amazing body. Guess women aren’t the only ones who have self esteem issues.

I listened for his rumbling but I couldn’t hear anything. “Josh?”

“Yes beautiful?” I felt the mattress shift under his weight and saw flashes of light and naked man when he lifted the covers to slide in next to me. “Mmm,” I rolled over on my side and softly bit his thigh. “Yummy.”

“Get out of that!” He laughed and lifted the sheets. “Come here, I have something to show you.”

“My surprise?” When he had got back into bed, he moved our pillows behind him and was propped up against them. “What do you have?” I asked as cuddled next to him.

“This,” he handed me a box about the size of a CD case, only three times as thick and made of wood, not plastic. “Open it.”

Nervously, I lifted the lid off the box and slipped the bottom piece into it. With shaky hands, I slowly peeled back the thin paper and the protective cotton beneath it. “Oh my.”