Why Girls Don't Use The Mens Room!

Josh wasn’t out in the main part of the bathroom when the door closed behind me; he was locked in the only stall there, I guess the older guy was at the urinal?

Wait, what am I doing? I didn’t know what I was thinking; I don’t know why I thought coming in here would be a good idea! I glanced around the mensroom, it wasn’t really anything to look at, actually looked just like the ladies room expect for the urinal. But it was so much cleaner too. Huh, I wouldn’t have expected that one. What the hell am I doing thinking about the cleanliness of the mens room? I have to get out of here before Josh sees me; he’s so not going to understand this. He’ll probably think I’m crazy or something! And what if he’s ‘using’ the bathroom? That would be a little embarrassing. I tried not to look through the crack in the bathroom stall so it was lucky that I noticed his legs were closer to the door than they should’ve been, it was like he was leaning back against the door.

I went to turn around to high tail my little ass out of there but I heard him sigh, a sad sounding sigh and I suddenly seemed to be rooted in one spot. You need to talk to him, this may not be the best place to do it but you have to tell him what you think; you need to tell him how you feel.

When Josh started to talk to himself, I couldn’t help but listen. “You can’t hide in here forever,” he mumbled and then said something else but I couldn’t pick it out.

Hide? I raised a brow; maybe he wants to talk to me too but is afraid? I smiled but then frowned, or he doesn’t want to see you. I glanced around the room one more time before making my way over to the counter, seeing it was clean and dry I hopped up on it and waited for Josh to come out of hiding.

I didn’t have to wait too long, not even a minute after I sat on the counter, the stall door opened and Josh walked out, freezing for a moment when he saw me sitting there.

“Hi,” I half waved to him and felt stupid the second I did it so I looked away from his stare; down at my hands in my lap. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting him to say or do but I know I wasn’t expecting him to step up to the sink and turn on the water.

Turning my head towards him, I watched him squeeze some soap out of the machine and lather his hands. Watching him reminded me of the time Jesse, Josh and I all washed our hands before making breakfast the morning that Jesse decided he was going to ‘help’ and ended up with butter all up in his hair. I smiled, my eyes traveled up Josh’s muscled arms and rested on his handsome face. As he leaned forward to rinse his soapy hands, a lock of hair fell down over his forehead and I barely managed to control myself enough to not reach out and brush it back into place. I wanted to touch him so badly, I wanted to feel his hands on my skin; just having him so close to me and not knowing if I could touch him was killing me, I had to look away.

Turning off the water, Josh walked around to my other side where the paper towel machine was hanging on the wall. I listened as he pumped the handle until he had his desired amount of towel to dry his hands. I stared at the floor as he dried his hands and tossed the used towel into the trash can at the counters edge.

It wasn’t until I heard the door give a little squeak that I looked in his direction, he had one hand on the handle but he was leaning against it, not opening it. And he was staring at me, “Did you follow me in here?”

I wanted to say ‘no’ but there was no denying it. “Yes, I did.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I…” I was shaking and I felt the nervous feeling coming back. “…I wanted to talk to you,” I turned my head away from him. “I needed to talk to you.”

Sighing, Josh dropped his hand from the door. “Do you think this is really the best place?” I glanced at him and he spread his arms, “The mens room?”

I shook my head, “At first I thought so,” I told him with a laugh. “Now I’m not so sure.” I sat there waiting for him to say something, anything but he didn’t. “I’m not sure of much any more,” I said as I jumped off the counter and made my way over to him. “I don’t know if you want to talk to me, or see me. I should because you did say…” I couldn't repeat what he said. I sighed, looking up at him I told him he knew what he said. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to see you, I miss you so much.”

He looked away from me; I closed my eyes and tried not to cry. “Yeah,” I said softly as I reached for the door, “I didn’t think…”

I didn’t get to finish what I was saying, he stopped me. “Anna I haven’t come to see you because things have been crazy since that day.”

“You don’t need to make excuses Josh, its ok that you don’t…”

“I’m not making excuses!” He snapped at me. “Between the stuff going on with Carol and Phil, the firing of one of my co-workers and my mother being in the hospital – by the way, I got your message,” I looked up at him. “You have no idea how much I needed to talk to you then honey but everyone seemed to need me, everyone seemed to expect me to be the strong one and take care of everything. Dad was at my place all the time when we weren’t at the hospital, it was…” he looked so vulnerable at that moment; I couldn’t stop from going to him and holding him tightly. Josh wrapped his arms around me as he pressed his face against my neck.

I’m not sure how long we held each other tight, it felt like hours but it was probably only a minute. “So how is your mom doing?” I asked him when he moved back from me.

“Ahh,” he ran a hand over his face and sighed. “She’s doing alright; the doctor’s said that the heart attack didn’t do much damage so she was lucky. Of course dad is hovering over her, trying to make sure she doesn’t over do it but she claims his smothering is going to give her another heart attack,” Josh chuckled softly, nodding. “She’s doing well.”

“Sounds like she is,” I smiled up at him. “I’m so glad, I was worried about her.”

“I know,” he nodded again. “I wish I would’ve told you, I didn’t want you to hear about it from Cassie.”

“It’s ok,” I told him as I reached out and squeezed his arm. “I’m just glad she’s doing ok.”

Josh was about to say something when the door opened, almost knocking him in the side. “Hey Josh are you…” Mark’s voice trailed off as he saw me standing there. “Oh,” he smiled at me. “Anna, I didn’t expect to see you in here!”

I laughed, “No, it’s not a place I normally visit. Actually,” I glanced at my watch. “I should go; my food is probably ready by now.” I headed for the door but Josh stopped me.

“Mark?” Josh gave Mark a look. Mark smiled before saying ‘bye’ to me and then left. Josh waited until the door closed again before he asked me what I was doing now.

I gave a little laugh and he raised a brow. “Well,” I shrugged. “I was actually ordering food and going over to Jordan’s to see if we can’t get our friendship back in some way or if he was happy with me telling him I didn’t want to see him again.”

Josh was quiet when I finished explaining how I ended up being here to get food, not talking to Jordan, him coming over to help my brother, me missing his friendship and him not talking to me or coming in. “So he doesn’t know you are going over?” I shook my head. “You really haven’t spoken to him since February?” I nodded. “Wow,” he looked surprised. “I never thought you guys would do it.” He frowned, “It wasn’t because of us,” he motioned back and forth between us.

“Not really,” I told him. “Jordan pushed a little too hard that morning, and I snapped. I told him I didn’t want to be his friend anymore.”

I thought for sure Josh would be happy that Jordan and I weren’t talking but he surprised me. “You should go, make things right with Jordan.” When I asked him why, he surprised me even more. “I spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking about everything that happened in January. Although I don’t like what he did, I kind of admire him for putting himself out there when it was pretty certain that you would shoot him down. And I have to tell you Anna, I half expected you and Jordan to be dating by now,” I started to protest but he held up his hand. “Hear me out, I really think he does care for you. Of course, I’m hoping it doesn’t pan out as anything more than really strong friendship and he can back off and get on with his life. But I think that’s something you two have to work out now.”

“But Josh,”

He held up his hand again. “I’m not saying you have to date him or anything, I just think that until you settle whatever it is between you two, there’s no way you can seriously commit to anyone.”

A sudden emptiness settled over me, like he was breaking up with me all over again. “What are you saying Josh?”

“My mother’s heart attack made me realize that there isn’t always second chances with the ones you love the most but when those chances come, you should take them.” Josh took a deep breath and released it slowly before he spoke again. “I think we need to talk about what happened with us, I want to talk to you about us but first I want you to go to Jordan and figure out what is going on between you two. We can’t discuss ‘us’ if you aren’t 100% sure what you want.”

“I am!”

Josh gazed down into my brown eyes, “Are you sure Anna? Is there a part of you that might have wanted him that morning? The part of you that we all saw the night we went out?”

“I love you,” I told him.

He smiled, “I know you do Anna but is it more than you love him?”

“I don’t know,” I told him honestly, surprising myself in the process. “He’s my best friend, even though he’s been a jerk about us.”

Josh nodded, “I just want you to be sure, I don’t want either of us to be hurt.” I told him I understood. “Anna whatever happens; I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you.”

“Ok,” I glanced at the door, “I guess I should go?” Josh said yes, so I turned and pulled the door opened, letting it fall closed behind me. I felt empty as I walked away from the bathroom, I didn’t know if I was happy or sad with the conversation we just had, I just knew I felt empty.

My food was ready when I got to the counter; I was kind of in auto pilot as I paid for it and left the restaurant.

I wanted to cry so badly but I knew I had to at least make it to my car before I did it, otherwise I didn’t think I would be able to get out of the way of traffic in the busy parking lot.

I had just finished placing the food in my car when I heard my name being called out. Turning I saw Josh slip sliding his way across the icy parking lot as he ran over to me. “Anna!” He said as he got closer to me.

“What Josh?” I wasn’t sure I could take any more of what he had to say and when I happened to glance over his shoulder, I saw his cousin and the two women waiting for him. “Do you -”

My words were lost in his mouth as his lips captured mine in one of his mind melting kisses that I craved so badly.

“I love you so much, I just wanted you to know that my feelings haven’t changed one bit…” he reached down under my shirt and hooked his grandmother’s chain. “…since the night I gave you this.”

He gave me a quick kiss on the lips and sighed. “I have to go and make sure Mark doesn’t strangle his little sister.” He turned to leave but then came back; pulling me into his arms so he could plant tiny kisses all over my face. “Ok,” he pulled away reluctantly. “I’m going now,” and with one last kiss on my lips, he walked away from me, “I’ll call you!”