This Is The End My Only Friend, The End

It took one more ‘hello’ and an ‘Anna what the hell is going on over there?’ to get my complete attention. At first I didn’t know why I was holding the phone, or who I called but then it clicked in. I needed help and I called the only person I know who could help me or get me help, my brother.

“Hey Zack, sorry about that,” I apologized to him and then asked him if he could come over and help me move.

“I thought you said Josh and Jess were helping you? What happened? He didn’t come over?”

“Ummm,” I coughed, I didn’t want to have to explain anything to Zack at that moment, I didn’t even want to think about the pain I caused Josh this morning. “He…well…I...” I sighed.

“Something happened? Is everyone ok Anna?” Zack sounded so concerned; I wasn’t sure how concerned he would sound after I told him what happened. “Anna? Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here.” I sighed, “I don’t really want to get into it Zack. Some thing happened here this morning and I don’t think I can fix it, I don’t think anyone can fix it.” He asked me what happened and I hesitated.

“Did Jordan do something Anna?”

“I wish I could blame him for this but it was my fault. I was stupid and I hurt Josh more than I ever thought I could.” I laughed sadly, whispering the next part. “He wishes he could erase me from his memory.”

“What?!?!” Zack told me to back up and tell him what happened. So I did and once I was done, he didn’t say anything.

“Zack please don’t hate me,” I begged. “I didn’t mean to hurt him; I didn’t want to hurt him. I…” I was crying again. “I ruined everything!”

My brother, in all his infinite wisdom could only find one thing to say to me, “Yeah, it sounds like you did.” If I wasn’t feeling low enough, that brought me down even lower. “Come on sis, don’t cry, we’ll figure something out.”

“How?” I asked him through my tears. “There is no way Josh is ever going to forgive me and I don’t blame him. It’s bad enough I hurt him but Zack! What about Jesse? How will he handle this? He wanted me to be his mommy! I wanted to be his mommy.”

Zack sighed, “Let’s just concentrate on getting you out of there Anna; we’ll talk about the rest of it after ok?”

“Ok,” I mumbled.

“Ok,” he groaned. “Damn it! I can’t help you; I have to go to work.”

I told him it was fine, I could pack my stuff myself. “No,” he told me. “I’ll drop the girls off, they’ll help you; they were just saying they were bored.”

“You don’t need to do that Zack, I don’t know if it’s good to have them around here right now. Jordan isn’t…”

“If Jordan does or says one thing to my girls or to you, I’ll personally come over and kick his ass!” He told me he was leaving right away and he’d see me in a half hour.

Once I hung up the phone, I ventured out of my room to go and get the boxes that I got from work to pack my stuff in. As I walked by the living room, I couldn’t help but look in. Jordan was sitting on the floor with Jenna, who was up in his lap giving him kisses on the cheek. “Dada owie bye-bye?” She would ask him and he would shake his head. He didn’t seem to notice that I was there and I was happy for that.

I was on my second trip to my car to bring in boxes when he appeared at the front door as I came up the steps.

“Did you need any help?” He asked without looking up at me. I was going to tell him ‘no’ but I didn’t. I told him I still had a lot of boxes in my trunk.

Jordan nodded and turned to get his jacket. “Can you go keep an eye on Jenna? I’ll grab the rest of them for you.”

He was trying to help so I wouldn’t stop being his friend, I knew that. I wasn’t sure if I cared though but I went and sat with Jenna while he retrieved all the boxes for me. Once they were all in the house, he also carried them to my room for me.

It was probably the most uncomfortable I’ve ever felt around him.

Jenna and I were sitting on the couch when he came back into the living room and sat down next to us. Without a word, I handed Jenna to him and left the room.

My nieces were great help; they also managed to keep my mind off Josh…well as much as it was possible to keep my mind off him. I had a feeling that Zack told them not to talk about Josh with me because when Natalie slipped once and mentioned Jesse, the other two shot her the deadliest looks.

I ignored it; I had to get through the packing.

When I had everything I could take with me loaded into my car, I went back in to tell Jordan I’d be back for the rest. “Where did you want me to leave the key when I’m done?” I asked him.

“Keep it,” he gazed into my eyes, as if he was hoping I’d tell him I was only kidding when I said we couldn’t be friends anymore.

“I won’t need it,” I told him as I met his gaze.

He closed his eyes as his shoulders fell, “Then do whatever you want with it. I won’t need it.”

I felt so wrong as I left the house that day, I didn’t feel that I should end my life long friendship with Jordan but I couldn’t bring myself to care if I ever saw him again.