I'll Race You

You know that feeling that you get the first time you let a man come home with you? The nervous, really excited ‘ohmygodwhatthehellamIdoing?’ feeling?

Well that’s how I felt as I turned to unlock the door. I actually took a calming breath as I turned the knob and swung the door opened. While I felt around for the light switch, I told myself I was being silly, Josh has been here how many times? And he’s been with you how many times?

But it didn’t matter how many times any of that had happened before; I still felt a little fluttery as he followed me through the doorway.

I tried really hard not to stare at him as he knelt down to untie his boots but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t believe that he was here with me, I thought if I looked away he would disappear, which was really silly but it was how I felt at the time.

Once we removed our outerwear, we made our way into the room, only to find Cassie and Lindsay playing some racing game. The way they both turned to look at me when I walked in made me wonder if they were waiting to hear how it went with Josh.

“Hello Coach,” Cassie said as she raised her brow at me. “We weren’t expecting to see you tonight.”

Lindsay elbowed her sister as she got up, “Well I think we should get to bed,” she said as she faked a yawn. “I’m sleepy.”

“What? I’m not going to bed,” Cassie gave Lindsay a dirty look. “It’s only 9:30!”

“Come on Cassie,” Lindsay reached down and tugged at Cassie’s arm. “I think I have some homework I need help with.”

I almost laughed at that, Lindsay was a straight A student, she always finished her homework when she got home from school and never needed help. Cassie was just the opposite, while she was smart she didn’t seem to put as much effort into school as Lindsay did.

“Let’s just finish this round,” Cassie said as she turned back to the TV after pulling her arm out of her sister’s grasp.

“Cass!” Lindsay snapped. “Stop being so stupid and come on! Aunt Anna wants to be alone with Coach Baker! Geeze!” Lindsay stomped towards the stairs, “Do I have to explain everything?”

I felt bad for Cassie; sometimes Lindsay said things that hurt her without even realizing it. “Lindsay,” I called out to her, she turned and looked at me. “You guys can finish your game, it’s ok.”

“No Aunt Anna, we should get ready for bed, it is a school night,” Cassie said sadly as she moved to turn off the game system.

Josh moved over to where Cassie was and picked up the controller that Lindsay abandoned. Both of my nieces watched him as he stared at the controller with more concentration than it needed. Finally he looked up, “So how does this work?”

No one said anything at first, and then both girls started to answer him at the same time. “Here I’ll show you,” Lindsay said as she sat next to him on the floor. Josh handed the controller back to her and watched carefully as she started the next round against Cassie.

Once the girls finished their race, they turned to Josh. “Do you want to try Coach?”

Josh nodded slowly as he hesitantly took the controller that Lindsay held out to him. “This button does what again?” He asked her and she answered him. “Ok,” he smiled at Cassie, “Go easy on me.”

I moved to the couch and sat behind Josh as they started to race so I could get a good view of his performance. I ended up in stitches, almost rolling on the couch as he kept falling off the track, spinning his car around and just plain getting lost. He kept asking the girls with buttons did what and laughed whenever he hit the gas instead of the brakes which caused him to crash into walls, people and objects.

It was so much fun to watch him with my nieces, he was so relaxed with them and they were with him too. It meant a lot to me, I wanted them to be able to look pass the fact that he was their teacher and see him as the great guy he was. And maybe see him as their uncle down the road, I froze when I thought that. Don’t go getting ahead of yourself, I warned myself, we still have a long way to go before we are ready for ‘I do’.

They raced a few times; with each pass of the course Josh seemed to make improvements. By the time Zack came down to tell the girls it was bed time, Josh wasn’t ramming into everything and he managed to stay on track.

The girls grumbled as they turned off the system, they didn’t want to stop they wanted to see Josh actually make it to the end of the track. “He was just starting to get good daddy,” Cassie whined as Zack motioned towards the stairs.

Both of them said good night to us and they both gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. “You’ll tell us how it went later?” Cassie asked me while she hugged me, whispering so that no one else heard her.

“Yes,” I nodded and she whispered ‘good luck’ to me and disappeared upstairs with her sister and dad.

As I turned back to Josh, he plopped next to me on the couch with this huge smile on his face. “You think they would be upset if they knew I was totally letting them win?”

I laughed, “Yeah right!”

He smiled at me, “Ok so maybe I wasn’t.” He glanced at the TV. “Do you think Jesse would like something like that? Do they have games for kids his age?”

“I’m not sure,” I told him. “I could always check it out. I know they do have games for younger kids but I don’t know how young.”

“Hmm, maybe.”

We sat there looking at each other for a few minutes.

“So?” I turned on the couch and faced him. “We should talk.”

He nodded, turning like I did. “We should.” I asked him where we should start. “Well,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I think it would be best to start with Jordan and what happened that day. I didn’t see anything,” he told me.

“What?” I stared at him in disbelief. “But you,” I frowned, I was certain that he saw it.

He groaned and leaned against the couch, “I knew something happened. The look on Jesse’s face, the look on both your faces and the fact that you were…” his voice trailed off, he closed his eyes and shook his head before opening his eyes again, his expression seemed so tortured . “I kept picturing all sorts of things Anna. What actually happened? What were you doing when Jesse saw you?”