Out With The New?

I found it quite odd that I wasn’t even really surprised at the unexpected presence in my old room; I guess I had hoped that I would find him down here. As my eyes remained focused on his sleeping form I found myself wondering if he had planned to be awake when I came down and if so what he had wanted to do, or if he just wanted to get away from the noise and the people. Judging by the way he was laying, I concluded that he passed out unintentionally. If he had planned to wait for me he wouldn’t laying on top of the blankets still wearing all his clothes, at least, I didn’t think he would be. Sighing, I moved to the desk on the far wall and grabbed my sleepwear from the overnight bag I had packed and brought with me. Even though he was asleep, I still went to the bathroom to change my clothes. Standing in front of the floor length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door, I frowned at myself. I’m not in great shape by anyone’s standards, I’m not fat but I could stand to lose a few pounds no problem. Now normally I wouldn’t be too worried about what my body looks like, but my night clothes consisted of a black cami with a white Superman symbol on it, in this case it stood for ‘Super girl” which was written across the back of the matching modern brief panties. What can I say? I wasn’t expecting to have to share my bed with a passed out probably drunker than a skunk guy. Turning sideway I checked out my butt in the mirror, yeah it was still there, I sighed. Telling myself that he wouldn’t even know made me feel better when I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later after brushing my teeth.

I managed to make my way to the bed and lay down without making a sound. I normally sleep on my left side curled up around my body pillow with the blankets up to my chin but tonight I wasn’t able to do either. Laying in the middle of the bed, he managed to make it difficult for me to pull the blankets enough so I could slip under them and of course, he was curled up with my pillow. I was on the bed behind him, leaning up on my elbow looking over him trying to figure out a way to get him to move over enough for me to cover up. Moving closer to him, I gently touched his shoulder and softy asked him to move over, he stirred but didn’t move over so I tried again. Calling his name a little louder, I told him to move over. This time he moved just not the way I wanted him to move; now he was laying on his stomach facing me. One more time, I told myself. He moved over this time, that is, he turned onto his right side and curled up with me. I was barely breathing by the time he stopped moving for he was laying lower in bed than I was, his forehead rested against my chin and his chin was pressed against my chest. It seemed that the room was suddenly 100 degrees, my cheeks started to burn as my body reacted to his extreme closeness. I whispered his name my voice was a little shaky he didn’t say anything but I could feel his mouth turn up into a smile.

“You shithead, you’re awake!” I didn’t bother to whisper, my hands were trying to get between us to push him away but he somehow only managed to get closer, I didn’t think that was possible. “We aren’t sleeping like this.”

“Mmmm,” he groaned, his smile faded from his face. “I mean it,” I continued. “Move over so I can cover up, I’m cold.” Taking a deep breath, he lifted his hand from my back but he didn’t scoot back like I thought he would, his fingertips softly trailed down my arm, over my wrist stopping to caress the sensitive skin before moving to my hip. Once on my hip, he ran his fingers along my thigh, around to the back of my knee and then back up again. Try as I might, I couldn’t conceal the shiver that shook my body at his tender touch; he smiled against my skin, pressing a kiss against my chest before his hand started its journey over again. On the third time instead he stopped at my knee, his hand opened, he grabbed hold of my leg and guided it over his hip bringing me right up against his aroused body and I couldn’t help myself, I rocked my hips against his. A low growl escaped his throat; his hand flew to my hip and held me still. Neither one of us moved, I thought he had fell back to sleep until his fingers begin their journey again, on the way back up my thigh this time, his fingers stopped at the leg of my panties, his fingers traced the band around as much of my leg as he could reach, one finger slipped under the cotton material, then another, soon his entire hand was under the material, gripping my bare cheek as he held me tight against him. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t move again. Soon I heard the shallow breathing and knew he had falling back to sleep. At that moment, I wanted to scream, cry and hit him so hard. All my nerve endings were fired up waiting for the pleasure his touch brought. Laying there, I was so on edge, dying a little every time his warm breath caressed my breasts.

I suddenly felt cold, my entire body was covered in goose bumps, my hand blindly reached for the blankets but ended up smacking against skin. I jumped, and he laughed. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered as he was getting off the bed. “Bathroom.” He explained before I could even ask. He stumbled out of the room and soon I saw the light come on in the bathroom and it shone directly at the bed before he closed the door. Groaning, I turned to turn on the light. Rolling out of bed, I pulled the blankets down and sat on the edge of the bed. I was still sitting there, with my hands on the bed and my head bowed when he returned. He knelt in front of me, “why don’t you lie back down?” He asked. I mumbled about my turn in the bathroom, he helped me up and I made my way to the bathroom. It didn’t hit me until I had splashed water on my face that he just got a good view of my backside, even more than normal because my panties had ridden up while I was sleeping. Sighing, I took my toothbrush from its holder and quickly ran it over my teeth.

When I returned to the bed room I paused in the middle of closing my door, I spotted his clothes on the desk chair. I swallowed hard and turned to him. He was on his side facing the doorway, his hand was clutching the blankets, and he looked like he was waiting for me. A high smile spread across his face the longer I stood at the door, his eyes traveled down my body, they lingered on the swell of my breasts before moving lower. “Come to bed.”

Frozen on the spot all I could do is shake my head. I knew how stupid I must’ve looked standing there in my underwear like a deer in a headlight but I couldn’t bring myself to take the few steps it would take to join him in bed and boy did I want to join him. Whenever his arms were around me, when he was near, I felt like I could do anything; I know that I don’t need a guy to make me feel that way, but damn it’s really good when you have one. He sat up and swung his strong legs over the edge of the bed and rose to his feet and started towards me, his eyes zoomed in on mine, and never once left them, the heat I felt inside seemed to intensify with every determined step that he made. I tried very hard not to let my eyes wander from his, but as he walked closer, more of his body came into my line of sight. My eyes took him in as he got closer, the broad shoulders and strong arms made my heart skip a beat; I yearned to run my fingers through the light patch of hair on his chest; just by looking at his stomach you could tell that he worked out and kept fit, and didn’t go crazy with it. I don’t know about anyone else, but really ripped guys don’t do anything for me. My eyes slid down further and then jumped to his face, he was standing only inches in front of me now and he was laughing at me! I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest, inadvertently pushing them upwards, his eyes flicked to my breasts then back to my face. “I think we’re even.” He mumbled, pulling me roughly to him. He bowed his head, brushing his lips against my cheek before his lips captured mine in the tenderest kiss I have ever experienced. I always thought that a truly mind blowing kiss had to be rough with lips and tongues everywhere, but as my toes curled and he lifted me off the floor, I knew that there was more to it than I ever knew. He carried me over to the bed, kneeling down he lowered me onto the mattress, he went to lay down beside me but I refused to let him go, he knelt over me staring down at me, my legs around his waist for a good five minutes before I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him on top of me. “Anna, we shouldn’t do this.”

The smile disappeared from my face, “Why not?” I asked, knowing already why I just wanted to hear him say it, I needed to hear him say it.

He sighed, reaching around his back and gripping my ankles, my legs fell from around his waist and he face planted into the mattress next to me, his arm still around my waist. “I want so badly to make love to you.” He said into the mattress.

“What?” I heard what he said; I just didn’t know what else to say. He pushed himself up on his elbows but he didn’t look at me, he was concentrating on the design of my comforter. He let out a frustrated sigh and turned to me. He kissed my forehead, my closed eyelids and the tip of my nose. “I want to be with you but we both know that would hurt someone that we don’t want to hurt.” I almost argued with him and said I didn’t care one iota about Carol but I was wondering if maybe he was talking about Jesse? What would happen if they split up? Who would Jesse live with? I knew by the way he talked and was with his son that Jesse meant everything to Josh and I didn’t want to be the one to ruin their time together. I turned my head away as tears filled my eyes, I didn’t want to cry in front of him but not being able to be with him hurt, my heart felt like someone was squeezing it with all their might. I took a deep breath and let it out before I turned back to him. “What are you going to do?”

He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair. “Smile?” He said with a bad attempt at one.

I glanced at his lips, then back to his eyes. “Lonestar?”

He nodded sadly, and softly sang.

“I'm gonna smile Cause I want to make you happy Laugh so you can’t see me cry I'm gonna let you go style”

He kissed me then turned to get up. I grabbed hold of his arm, “Josh? Please stay here tonight.”

Without hesitating he slipped back into bed, pulled the blankets up over us and settled behind me, wrapping his arm around me. “And even if it kills me I'm gonna smile.” He kissed my shoulder and the tears started to roll down my cheeks.