Monday, January 29, 2007

The Good, The Bad and The...Really Bad?

Coming out of the bathroom, I was still a little confused with Jordan’s reaction to my ‘hey’, I personally didn’t see what was so offensive about a smile that would warrant a glare like that. I hesitated outside his room door, I wanted to bust in their and demand an answer but I was tired and I didn’t know if I could deal with his dramatics. What the hell? I thought as I raised my hand and knocked on his door, “Jordan?” I called out his name then listened for indication of movement behind the closed door. “Jordan?”

“Get lost.” He yelled back.

I stepped back, surprised that he would say that. “Jordan,” I pushed his door open.

He met me at the door, he had one had on the wall beside me and the other was holding the door. “What part of ‘get lost’ don’t you understand?” He demanded.

“The part where ‘get’ and ‘lost’ meet.” I snapped back at him. “What’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem?” He shook his head. “You, you’re my problem. What the hell is wrong with you lately? You have my brother run interference for you? You don’t think I can handle whatever you need to tell me? Damn it Anna, I’m not a kid, don’t try to protect me!”

“Protect you?” I stared at him. “What on earth would I need to protect you from? And I never asked your brother to run interference for me. Whatever he said tonight was all him. Get over yourself!”

He rolled his eyes, his jaw was clenched. “Yeah, right. Mike just pulled it out of his ass that you were feeling pressure from me to make a decision.”

“I never said that!” I was losing my patience, I hated that every time Jordan and I spoke lately all we seemed to do was yell.

“Whatever.” He looked away and attempted to close the door. “I’m going to sleep, good night.”

“No, I want to talk about this.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Well too bad!” He snapped, “You can’t always get what you want!”

“Screw you Jordan!” I turned to head back to my room.

“I wish you would but I guess you’ve known me way too long.” He muttered under his breath.

I stopped dead in my tracks, I tried to pretend that he didn’t just say what I thought he said but I knew he did. Tears sprang to my eyes; I couldn’t believe that he would say something like that to me. I saw red as I thought about all the times that I could’ve thrown his many conquests in his face and didn’t. Blinded by rage, I spun around and slapped him soundly across his cheek. His head jerked back, I wasn’t sure if it was because I surprised him or because I actually hit him that hard. “Don’t you ever say anything like that to me again!” To make my point, I started to pound my fists against his chest. “You have no right to judge what I do or who I do it with!”

He grabbed my hands and forced them down behind my back. Towering over me, holding my hands behind my back, it was the first time in my life that he truly scared me. “Jordan?” I tried to keep that fear out of my voice, but it was pretty apparent as my voice trembled when I had spoken.

His hands slipped from my wrists and traveled up my arms. “Babe I’m sorry, I just -” His hands softly rested on my face, his thumbs wiped through the tears that had started to roll down my cheeks. “Oh Babe, there’s no excuse for what I just said, I’m so sorry.” He rested his forehead against mine and his arms slipped around my waist.

“Why Jordy?” I asked through the sobs.

“Babe,” He pulled away from me, taking my hands he lead me to his bed. After I was seated on the bed, he knelt in front of me, his hands held mine as he tried to find the words to say what he was thinking. “Anna, I’ve been trying to be cool with this, I really have been. Babe, I’m so afraid of losing you.” He sighed. “Tonight after you went to bed, Mike and Eric both started in on me. They think I should leave you alone until you figure out this thing with Josh, they don’t think that it’s as bad as we think, that we are missing something. Mike told me that if I wasn’t careful I would lose you completely if I kept pushing for us.”

“I didn’t -”

He held up his hand. “I’ve been crazy jealous and maybe a little insane. Unfortunately, I can’t change that. I hate that I waited so long to tell you how I feel because with Josh in the picture it doesn’t even matter to you.”

“Oh Jordy,” I sighed. “It does matter to me but I -”

“You really care about him?” He asked, but didn’t wait for answer. He shook his head, “Anna you don’t even know him, you only met him two weeks ago and haven’t spent that much time with him. And now this thing with Carol? Babe, I’m scared for you.”

I took a deep breath and nodded. “I know Jordan, it scared me too.”

“But you still didn’t ask him about it, did you? When you were talking to him earlier? It was him on the phone, right?”

“I didn’t want to tell him over the phone! I would rather see his reaction, I want to be able to…Jordy I don’t want him to have an out if the worst is true.”

He thought for a moment, “So you are going to talk about it the next time you see him?” I nodded. “Are you sure you want to do that?”

I frowned, “Of course I’m sure. I have to stop ignoring this issue, I think tonight has proven that to me. I can’t put it off any longer; I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.” I sighed and fell back against his bed. “Oh Jordy, I’ve been so crazy lately.” I glanced at him as he joined me. “Have you ever known me to be such a chicken?”

“Well,” He smiled, “There was that one play we put on for our parents when we were six.” Turning on his side, he reached out and touched my arm. “You remember? Nick and I were the farmers and you were supposed to be the turkey? But you didn’t want to say ‘gobble, gobble’ so you told every one that chicken was the bird of choice for Thanksgiving.”

I laughed, “I don’t know why I had to be the turkey!”

He grinned, “Well,” He leaned in closer to me and whispered. “I wasn’t supposed to tell you, but Nick didn’t want to play Mr. Farmer to your Mrs. Farmer. He told me he only gave you that cookie and asked you to marry him so you’d let him kiss you.”
I gasped. With my hand over my heart, I tried to look hurt. “You mean he played me?” I thought about it and laughed, “I knew I should’ve kicked him when he ignored me for those couple days.”

“Yeah, he’s a real heartbreaker.” Jordan said trying not to laugh but it failed.

I turned towards him, we were inches apart. I slid my arm around his waist and looked up into his eyes. “No, I believe that you are the heartbreaker in the family, Babe.” I laughed at his shocked expression and kissed him on the lips.

He wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me near. I felt myself being eased onto my back, his body moving over mine as he kissed me back.

7 comments:

Anna said...

Surprise!

For all my favorite readers, yes all you guys ~g~ I thought I'd post twice today...yay!

Anonymous said...

Anna,
Wow, twice in one day.. and both were great posts!!! This blog has become one of my favorites. Good Job!

Anonymous said...

I think Donna is right. Anna is going to have to talk to Josh while Jordan isn't around and get this straightened out. I used to want Anna to end up with Josh but there would be way to many issues there now. So I really hope she isn't leading Jordan on because it doesn't sound like Jordan will be able to handle another fight with her.

Anonymous said...

I agree that was a HUGE mistake, but I notice in the next post that Anna didn't even mention how she felt about them kissing. I think that Anna is looking for an out because she's afraid of what Josh is going to say, but stringing Jordan along like that is just wrong. She's ruining her friendship along with a future relationship!

Anonymous said...

It's getting hot in here, no?
Gooooooo Jordan!! ~g~

Anonymous said...

WHAT A TREAT!!! I thought I was seeing things when I saw that this post was for Monday too!!!

ANNA I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!

Vikki

Anonymous said...

yyeeaaahhhhhhh... 222222222222222post in the same dayayyyyy
PCS...