I woke up the next morning with a little bit of a hangover. At first I didn’t know where I was or why there was so much light in the room but soon it all came back to me. Oh crap, I turned quickly, partly to tell myself that it didn’t really matter if I was sleeping next to Jordan, there was no where else to sleep and I was freakin’ tired at the time. But Jordan wasn’t there, Nick was.
I started to doubt the events that I remembered from the night before. Was it Jordan I was actually talking too? Or was it Nick just pretending to be Jordy? I shook my head. Why the hell would Nick pretend to be Jordy? You’re losing it Anna, really losing it! It didn’t matter to me why Jordan and Nick switched places some time during the night, I was just happy that they did.
My eyes closed, I was going to go back to sleep but the pressure on my bladder was increasing; I needed to pee and the sooner the better. Without disturbing the boys, I managed to push off the sofa bed. I started down the hallway but stopped short when I saw that someone was already in the bathroom.
Damn it! I thought as I moved from one foot to the other. Please hurry up, please hurry…oh good lord please hurry! I started to think how I was spoiled at my brother’s house, I had my own bathroom. I was in the middle of wondering what would happen if Josh and I lived together, if we would stay in his apartment or if we would get a place else where - with at least two bathrooms!
The bathroom door opened, Eric walked out wearing just a towel. “Oh!” He stopped short when he saw me doing my potty dance in the hallway.
“Please tell me you are done in there for now,” I begged as I quickly moved down the hall. “I really got to get in there!”
“It’s all yours,” he chuckled as he moved towards his room.
Ten minutes later, I was in the kitchen, sitting on the counter across from where Eric was making lunch for both Mike and him. “Why are you making his lunch?” I asked as I watched him pick through a bag of grapes, throwing away the bad ones and putting the others in the container for Mike.
He shrugged, “I just like too do it for him. This way I know he’s got something healthy to eat.”
“Even with the way he’s been towards you? You still like to do little things like this for him?”
“Of course Anna,” Eric glanced over his shoulder. “Just because things aren’t perfect right now doesn’t mean that I’ve given up on our relationship. I know he loves me, I just don’t know what it is that he’s keeping from me.”
“But you know he’s keeping something from you?”
“We used to talk about everything Anna, now he barely talks to me. I have to believe that there’s something on his mind that he just don’t know how to say.”
“And you think it’s that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore?”
He nodded.
“Then how do you know he loves you if you think he doesn’t want to be with you anymore?”
Eric stopped what he was doing and turned to face me. “I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I wish I did but I don’t. I know that there are times when I get the feeling that it’s not me, that he still loves me but there are other times, like yesterday when he was snappy and trying to pick a fight, when I wonder if I’m just being stupid.”
“I can understand that,” I told him as I recalled the interaction I saw between the two of them and then I remembered Mike’s reaction the night before when Eric and I hugged. “So last night?”
Eric raised a brow, “What about last night?”
“After I left your room, did you guys talk at all?”
“After the attitude he gave me all day yesterday? I didn’t even look at him. I turned away and fell fast into dreamland, where surprisingly, he was talking to me.” Eric chuckled but it soon turned into a sigh. “God, Anna, I really wish you could’ve seen the way we really are together. I wish that all five of us would’ve been able to hang out yesterday after I got off work; I really wanted to get to know his brothers a little more and find out some more about Mike when he was younger.”
I smiled, “I wish I could’ve too.”
Eric turned back to the lunches in front of him as we continued to talk; I was telling him all the stories I had about Mike.
“You had a crush on him,” Eric said a one point.
I laughed, “Well yes I did, and I didn’t think he could do wrong.”
“But now you do?” He frowned as he looked at me. “It isn’t because of what happened yesterday, is it?”
“No,” I shook my head. “I realized that Mike was human the same time I found out he was gay - on the last date we ever had as a ‘couple’.” Eric stared at me for a few minutes. “What?” I chuckled nervously. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I forgot that you dated Mike.”
“Oh,” I shrugged. “It was a long time ago now and it’s not like it matters, it wasn’t like we were really dating anyway – I got to be the one who people blamed for him being gay.”
Eric shook his head, “No way, I am. You should’ve seen the looks his parents gave me when we were at their house – sure they were friendly and all that but I’m damn sure they blamed me.”
“That’s stupid,” I told him. “It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault he’s gay, he didn’t choose to be.”
“I know but I still feel that they blamed me. I think that’s really when things started to go down hill for us. After we got back from his parents’ house Mike was moody and quiet, he tried to hide it for a while but soon, he was snapping at me and then not talking at all.”
“Not at all?” I jumped off the counter. “Surely you guys talk?”
“Not like we use too,” he sighed. “When we first met, we could talk for hours but now – we go for hours without saying a word.”
“That’s crazy!” I couldn’t imagine not talking to my other half for hours if we were in the same place. “Why did it change? What happened at his parents’ house?”
“And why are you two talking about me?” Mike’s cold voice cut Eric off before he could say anything else. “Why are you telling her all this? It’s none of her business and you shouldn’t be talking about me behind my back!”
“I’m not!” Eric exclaimed.
“NO?” Mike walked into the kitchen to stand before Eric. “What the hell do you think that was just now? Girl talk?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” Mike crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Eric. “What am I doing wrong now?”
“Anna and I were just talking,” Eric told him.
“Yeah, about me! Damn it Eric if you have a problem with me, you talk to me! You don’t go telling everyone and their dog!”
“You don’t listen to me!” Eric snapped. “I’ve asked you what was wrong a million times but you ignore me! I know there’s something wrong! I can tell you aren’t happy and I want to know why!”
Mike dropped his arms, “You want to know why I’m not happy?”
“Yes,” Eric replied. “I want to know why you are snapping at me and ignoring me and why I can’t seem to do anything right in your eyes anymore! I want to know what it is that I’m doing to upset –”
“I don’t want to be here anymore!” Mike snapped. “I’m not happy here, I want to leave!”
I started to doubt the events that I remembered from the night before. Was it Jordan I was actually talking too? Or was it Nick just pretending to be Jordy? I shook my head. Why the hell would Nick pretend to be Jordy? You’re losing it Anna, really losing it! It didn’t matter to me why Jordan and Nick switched places some time during the night, I was just happy that they did.
My eyes closed, I was going to go back to sleep but the pressure on my bladder was increasing; I needed to pee and the sooner the better. Without disturbing the boys, I managed to push off the sofa bed. I started down the hallway but stopped short when I saw that someone was already in the bathroom.
Damn it! I thought as I moved from one foot to the other. Please hurry up, please hurry…oh good lord please hurry! I started to think how I was spoiled at my brother’s house, I had my own bathroom. I was in the middle of wondering what would happen if Josh and I lived together, if we would stay in his apartment or if we would get a place else where - with at least two bathrooms!
The bathroom door opened, Eric walked out wearing just a towel. “Oh!” He stopped short when he saw me doing my potty dance in the hallway.
“Please tell me you are done in there for now,” I begged as I quickly moved down the hall. “I really got to get in there!”
“It’s all yours,” he chuckled as he moved towards his room.
Ten minutes later, I was in the kitchen, sitting on the counter across from where Eric was making lunch for both Mike and him. “Why are you making his lunch?” I asked as I watched him pick through a bag of grapes, throwing away the bad ones and putting the others in the container for Mike.
He shrugged, “I just like too do it for him. This way I know he’s got something healthy to eat.”
“Even with the way he’s been towards you? You still like to do little things like this for him?”
“Of course Anna,” Eric glanced over his shoulder. “Just because things aren’t perfect right now doesn’t mean that I’ve given up on our relationship. I know he loves me, I just don’t know what it is that he’s keeping from me.”
“But you know he’s keeping something from you?”
“We used to talk about everything Anna, now he barely talks to me. I have to believe that there’s something on his mind that he just don’t know how to say.”
“And you think it’s that he doesn’t want to be with you anymore?”
He nodded.
“Then how do you know he loves you if you think he doesn’t want to be with you anymore?”
Eric stopped what he was doing and turned to face me. “I don’t really know,” he admitted. “I wish I did but I don’t. I know that there are times when I get the feeling that it’s not me, that he still loves me but there are other times, like yesterday when he was snappy and trying to pick a fight, when I wonder if I’m just being stupid.”
“I can understand that,” I told him as I recalled the interaction I saw between the two of them and then I remembered Mike’s reaction the night before when Eric and I hugged. “So last night?”
Eric raised a brow, “What about last night?”
“After I left your room, did you guys talk at all?”
“After the attitude he gave me all day yesterday? I didn’t even look at him. I turned away and fell fast into dreamland, where surprisingly, he was talking to me.” Eric chuckled but it soon turned into a sigh. “God, Anna, I really wish you could’ve seen the way we really are together. I wish that all five of us would’ve been able to hang out yesterday after I got off work; I really wanted to get to know his brothers a little more and find out some more about Mike when he was younger.”
I smiled, “I wish I could’ve too.”
Eric turned back to the lunches in front of him as we continued to talk; I was telling him all the stories I had about Mike.
“You had a crush on him,” Eric said a one point.
I laughed, “Well yes I did, and I didn’t think he could do wrong.”
“But now you do?” He frowned as he looked at me. “It isn’t because of what happened yesterday, is it?”
“No,” I shook my head. “I realized that Mike was human the same time I found out he was gay - on the last date we ever had as a ‘couple’.” Eric stared at me for a few minutes. “What?” I chuckled nervously. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I forgot that you dated Mike.”
“Oh,” I shrugged. “It was a long time ago now and it’s not like it matters, it wasn’t like we were really dating anyway – I got to be the one who people blamed for him being gay.”
Eric shook his head, “No way, I am. You should’ve seen the looks his parents gave me when we were at their house – sure they were friendly and all that but I’m damn sure they blamed me.”
“That’s stupid,” I told him. “It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault he’s gay, he didn’t choose to be.”
“I know but I still feel that they blamed me. I think that’s really when things started to go down hill for us. After we got back from his parents’ house Mike was moody and quiet, he tried to hide it for a while but soon, he was snapping at me and then not talking at all.”
“Not at all?” I jumped off the counter. “Surely you guys talk?”
“Not like we use too,” he sighed. “When we first met, we could talk for hours but now – we go for hours without saying a word.”
“That’s crazy!” I couldn’t imagine not talking to my other half for hours if we were in the same place. “Why did it change? What happened at his parents’ house?”
“And why are you two talking about me?” Mike’s cold voice cut Eric off before he could say anything else. “Why are you telling her all this? It’s none of her business and you shouldn’t be talking about me behind my back!”
“I’m not!” Eric exclaimed.
“NO?” Mike walked into the kitchen to stand before Eric. “What the hell do you think that was just now? Girl talk?”
“Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” Mike crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Eric. “What am I doing wrong now?”
“Anna and I were just talking,” Eric told him.
“Yeah, about me! Damn it Eric if you have a problem with me, you talk to me! You don’t go telling everyone and their dog!”
“You don’t listen to me!” Eric snapped. “I’ve asked you what was wrong a million times but you ignore me! I know there’s something wrong! I can tell you aren’t happy and I want to know why!”
Mike dropped his arms, “You want to know why I’m not happy?”
“Yes,” Eric replied. “I want to know why you are snapping at me and ignoring me and why I can’t seem to do anything right in your eyes anymore! I want to know what it is that I’m doing to upset –”
“I don’t want to be here anymore!” Mike snapped. “I’m not happy here, I want to leave!”
7 comments:
Good Afternoon Everyone!
I hope you are all having a good day!
He wants to move back into his hometown, I bet... but that's not how Eric is going to hear that!!!
omg! Does Mike really want to leave Eric? I really hope not, Eric seems like such a nice guy... Hopefully Anon 2:29 is right!
I hope that's all he means...that he want's to go back to his home town....WITH Eric. I think there's more to it though. Why would it be so hard for Mike to tell Eric that he wanted to go home? Hmmm...
he wants to go back home
Well, there it is, he wants to move back home...
I hope he wants to move back home, but what is there for Eric? He seems to be into marketing wasn't it, and I'm can't imagine that there is a great big marketing company in the small town where they are from. Whether he wants to go home, or leave Eric I can't see things working out for them.
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