That Loving Feeling

We sat like that for about 20 minutes, my foot had long since fallen asleep from the way Jess was sitting on my leg but I didn’t want to move, I didn’t want to be the one who broke the moment.

Grrrrowl.

I glanced over my shoulder at Josh as he looked up at me, his face turning red.

Grrrowl.

Jesse jumped in my arms; I think he had fallen asleep because he looked up at me with a sleepy bewildered expression on his little face. “Monsters?” His eyes opened wide and he hugged me tight. “No monsters!”

Josh and I laughed, “No Jess,” I said, “That was your daddy’s tummy grumbling.”

Jesse raised his head enough to see his dad as Josh’s stomach growled again. Grrrowl. “Daddy making noises.” He giggled.

I nodded, “Come on let’s go feed him before he wastes away.”

We made our way out to the kitchen; everything was still out on the counter from earlier. Jess pulled a chair out from the dining room table and pushed it across the floor. “No Daddy, I help Ama.” He said climbing up on the chair. “Ok ready.” Smiling up at me, he waited for me to give him something to do.

“We forgot to wash our hands.” I said to him. “Don’t want any germs getting in daddy’s food and making him sick.” I started to go towards the bathroom.

“My hands clean.” Jess held out his hands for me to see.

I, in turn, showed him mine. “I think mine are too but I like to be sure before I touch food.” I went into the bathroom and had just turned on the water when Jess pulled up his step stool beside me. He got his hands wet and then leaned back to look out the door. “Daddy come wash hands.”

The bathroom wasn’t that big and when Josh walked in it seemed to get even smaller. Standing behind me, he held his arms out on either side of me, leaning over my shoulder as he took the soap from Jess. I found myself watching his hands as he lathered them up and I couldn’t help but imagine being in the shower with his hands all over my naked body, caressing, cleaning and totally turning me on. I let out a little sigh, I didn’t think it was all that loud but Jesse looked up at me and asked what was wrong. I smiled at him and rinsed the soap off my hands. “I’m just hungry,” I explained.

Josh chuckled; he lowered his head to my neck and nipped gently. “Yeah me too.” He gave me a knowing look when my eyes met his in the mirror in front of us, the heat in his glaze caused tiny shivers to course through my body.

“Me too,” Jess piped up as he reached for his towel to dry his hands. After pushing his step out of the way, he ran to the kitchen and I could hear him get up on the chair.

I turned to go out of the bathroom but Josh was still standing right behind me, leaning down he rested his hands on the counter and looked into my eyes. “I want to thank you for everything. For making Jesse feel safe and protected and for not running when things got intense.”

“Josh,” I slipped my arms around his neck. “It takes a lot more than a crazy ex to make me run for the hills.”

He grinned, “That’s good to know because apparently she’s totally out of it.” He sighed, “I’m sorry she spoke to you like that and pushed you again. How are you feeling?” He began to rub my back, "Does it hurt?"

“Well, I’m hoping you don’t want to play in the trash anytime soon.”

He stared at me in confusion for a moment before it dawned on him what I was talking about. “Haha, funny.” He shook his head, “God she’s such a bitch.”

I agreed because there wasn’t any way to disagree with that statement. “I’m curious though, why does she care so much what you do?”

“I don’t think she really cares. I haven’t dated that much since the divorce and you are the only one that Jess has met, I think he told her about you. I believe she thought I would pine away for her for the rest of my life.” He laughed, “Not likely, any feelings I had for her died the day I came home to an empty house and a note that read, ‘I’m gone, don’t try to find me. I found a real man who knows what a woman needs.’” I stared at him in utter disbelief, my eyes traveled down over his body as my mind thought back to the other day in bed; personality, good looks, great body and killer moves, he had it all. When I glanced back up at him, he was smiling. “Thanks honey.” He kissed me softly before he continued. “Apparently what that woman needed was an older guy with lots of money who didn’t expect anything from her but to be arm candy.”

I laughed, “Who’d thought we’d ever agree on anything, Carol and I.” The expression on Josh’s face was priceless, his jaw dropped and he stared at me in disbelief. I pressed my body against his and whispered in his ear. “I think older men are hot, especially you Joshua Baker.”

Pulling away slightly, Josh laughed, “I keep forgetting I’m older than you.”

“Nine whole years older,” I stated. “Now come on, let’s go see what your son is doing.” With his hand in mine, I led him out of the bathroom to the kitchen. “Oh my,” I stopped in my tracks when I turned the corner. “Oh Jesse.” Letting go of Josh’s hand, I reached out and took the butter knife away from Jesse.

“I help.” Jesse grinned, his little cheeks spotted with margarine. While Josh and I were in the bathroom, Jesse had opened the bread and started to butter it; there were a couple slices that were off to the side, under a paper towel, which had been ripped while he tried to spread the margarine. At one point he must have brushed his hair away from his eyes because there were a few strands matted together, flat against his head.

Josh tried not to laugh as he watched his son, “Yes you did help.” He reached out and picked him off the chair. “I think Anna can take it from here, let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Shaking my head, I tried to repair the damage to the bread he had shoved under the paper towel.

“I’m going to have to give him a bath after we eat,” Josh said as he reentered the kitchen. I nodded and told them to sit down as I placed the plate of grilled sandwiches on the table.

Jesse knelt on his chair and leaned in looking at the plate. “I don’t like the brown stuff.” He pouted pointing at the crust as he glanced up at me.

Josh, who had already taken one from the plate for Jess to cut up, placed it in front of him. “There you go no brown stuff.”

Jesse bounced in his chair. “Thank Daddy.” He picked up his fork, stabbing a piece and then picked up a piece with his fingers and put that one in his mouth.

We ate and talked about plans for the day. Josh had promised his nephew (Matt) that he’d go and help him shovel a path from their house to the shed in the back so his wife could get in there and work; Kerri does pottery or crafts or something, I wasn’t quite listening to him when he explained it. “You should come with us; I know Kerri wouldn’t mind having another adult there to talk to while Matt and I are outside.”

I shook my head, “I can’t. I already promised Cassie that I’d go and help her pick out something to wear on her date tonight.” I laughed, “You know she’s dating a member of the basketball team and just has to look good.”

With a fake shocked look on his face, Josh replied. “Really? I didn’t know that.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “He’s a good kid, a great player.”

“His skills on the court aren’t my main concern.” I said, waving my fork at him. “It’s what he thinks is going to happen off the court with my niece that worries me.”

Josh suddenly became very serious. “Why? He hasn’t tried to…”

“Would you try if you had to deal with my brother?” I popped my last piece into my mouth and finally put down my fork, much to his relief.

“Your brother is,” Josh paused as he searched for the right word. “Intimidating.”

I laughed out loud. “You think?”

“Oh yeah, I just asked him something about you one day and I got a thirty minute lecture on the ups and downs of getting involved with a friends sister.”

I couldn’t help the grin that crossed my face, “You asked about me?” He nodded, taking a sip of his juice. “What did you ask him?” I leaned closer to him and rested my chin in my hand. “What did you want to know?”

He leaned in also, his fingers reaching out to stroke my cheek. When he spoke his words were softly spoken. “I hadn’t known him for that long, it was only the second time I was at his house, we were talking about something – I forget what it was now – and he said something that made you come to mind.”

I raised a brow, “Oh?”

His fingers were now on my wrist, he was tracing tiny circles on the sensitive skin there. “Yeah,” He smiled, “And that’s when I asked him if he knew you.”

The smile disappeared from my face; I sat up straight in my chair. “You did not!”

“Yes, I did.” He laughed, “But that’s not the question I got the lecture for. That came Christmas Eve when I asked him where you lived. He made me sit through his ‘interrogation.’ ‘Why do you want to know? How do you know my sister? What do you expect from her?’ There were a few more questions and just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he finally stopped hounding me with questions and started to lecture me.” He shook his head, “Finally, I must have looked like a broken man because he stopped talking, sat back in his chair and told me where you lived.” He dropped his head onto his arm on the table. “I’m still pretty traumatized by it all.”

I reached out and patted his head. “There, there it’ll be ok. Just wait until he finds out what you did to me the other day.” I joked.

Josh sat up in his chair so quickly he ended up two feet back from the table. “I’m a dead man.” He went limp in his chair.

Jesse put his hand over his mouth and giggled, “Daddy funny.”