Not All Surprises Are Good

The sun streaming in through the blinds caused me to wake up; it seemed that I was lying in the perfect spot for the one really bright ray to shine right in my face. Groaning, I tried to turn over onto my stomach but I found I couldn’t; lying right in front of me was a little bear attached to a little boy. “Hey Mister Bear,” I whispered before I tried to turn towards Josh but that too was not happening, he was tight against my back. With no way for me to turn and the growing hungry feeling in my tummy, I decided that I would get up and get started on breakfast.

I managed to remove myself from the bed without waking either of my guys. I grinned, my guys. I watched them both for a moment, almost wishing I was still laying there between them but my stomach started to grumble again.

After using the bathroom, I made my way out to the kitchen. I still didn’t know where Josh kept most of his cooking stuff, so I spent a couple minutes looking through his cupboards before I realized that I didn’t even know what I was going to make yet.

Laughing, I shook my head and reached for the handle of the fridge. Doing a quick survey of the contents inside, I decided I was hungry for French toast so I grabbed the milk and eggs from there and closed the door behind me.

I was in the middle of cooking the toast when I hear Josh tell Jess that I was still here. Not long after, they both appeared in the kitchen.

“Good morning Beautiful.” Josh said as he hugged me tight with one arm. Looking over my shoulder I saw that he was carrying Jess. “Do you want some juice?” He asked him, Jess shook his head and snuggled closer to his dad.

I gave Josh a questioning look, “Is everything ok?”

Josh nodded, “It’s a hard day for us, and he gets very clingy.”

“Oh,” I glanced at Jess again. “Sweetie are you hungry?”

Jess lifted his head from his dad’s shoulder and looked towards the plate of toast that I already cooked. “I no want that.”

“Oh,” I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. “Well what would you like?”

Jesse sighed and turned to Josh, “Daddy I have cheese sandwich?”

Josh hesitated as he looked back and forth between us. “Jess let’s have what Anna is making, I promise you’ll like it.” He picked up a piece and held it up to Jess, “Try it.”

Jess batted at Josh’s hand, “No Daddy!”

Josh gave me an apologetic look and bit into the piece he had in his hand. “Mmm, it’s good honey,’ he smiled and leaned down to kiss me as he grabbed another piece from the plate.

“Ama go home!” Jesse put his hands on my shoulder and tried to push me away from them. “Cheese Sandwich, daddy?”

My jaw dropped as I stared at Jesse, did he just tell me to go home? “Jesse that wasn’t very nice, you don’t want Anna to go home.” I looked at Josh and he didn’t look too happy. “Tell her you are sorry.”

Jess crossed his arms in front of his chest, he got this look on his face and he shook his head. “No! Ama go home! Daddy play with Jesse.” His tiny chin stuck out stubbornly as he glared at me.

“Jesse James Baker! You do not talk to anyone like that.” Josh tried to sit him on the counter but Jesse clung to him, if I wasn’t so hurt by what Jesse said, I would’ve been trying to not laugh.

“James?” I thought it sounded odd.

Josh glanced at me and rolled his eyes, “I didn’t name him. I’m lucky he even got my last name, she wanted to give him Phil’s last name.”

I held up my hands and backed away, “Sorry.”

Josh sighed; his gaze was fixed on Jess who was holding on to his shoulder for dear life. “Jesse, please?”

Jesse turned his head up towards his dad, “It’s daddy time,” he said as his little lip trembled. He sounded so sad, it damn near broke my heart to stand there, listening and watching.

Turning away, I reached out and shut off the stove. “Umm Josh, maybe I should go.”

“Honey no,” Josh slipped his hand over mine. “It’ll be ok, we had plans remember? We all were going to make a snow bear?”

I smiled but shook my head, “Jess is right, it is your time with him. I don’t want to ruin that. And besides, I should go to Zach’s anyway, Chad and his family are leaving today, I want to see them before they go.” I started for the bedroom. “I’ll just grab my stuff and head out.”

Josh started after me but Jesse told him again that he was hungry, after hesitating for a moment Jesse’s hunger won out over coming after me.

As I closed the door to Josh’s room, I sunk to my knees on the floor and gathered up my clothes as tears ran down my face. I knew that Jesse liked me, but just hearing him say he wanted to go home really hurt. How can you argue with him? He doesn’t get to see Josh that much and he obviously doesn’t want to leave him today. I couldn’t help but wonder does Jess resent me for being there? Does he really not want me around? I didn’t find the answers to those questions as I got dressed.

I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face as I made my way to the kitchen again. I leaned against the wall and watched Josh cut up the sandwich that he had made for Jess.

Jess looked up at me from his chair, “Bye bye Ama.” He waved and picked up his fork.

Josh got up from the table and came over to me. “I’m so sorry honey,” he said against my ear as his arms slipped around my waist. “I knew he would be clingy but I didn’t think that he would be like this with you, I know he loves having you around.”

I couldn’t tell if Josh was trying to make me feel better or if he really meant it, either way it really didn’t help, I didn’t want to go. I hugged him tight, “It’s ok,” I lied. “You and Jess have fun today ok? I’ll call you later?”

“Daddy?” We both turned to look as Jess jumped off his chair and came running over to us. “Ama go home?” When Josh nodded, Jess gazed up at me, a frown upon his face. “Daddy sad,” he told me.

I glanced at Josh, “Yes, he is.”

“Make daddy happy Ama.”

I smiled a little, “How would I do that?”

Jesse held his finger up to his lips and looked at his dad. “Daddy likes kisses,” he started to bounce and giggle. “Ama kiss Daddy.”

I gave a little chuckle as I felt my cheeks began to get warm. “Is that what he needs?” Jesse nodded his head and out of the corner of my eye I could see Josh was nodding also. “And how many does he need?”

I heard Josh whisper ‘lots’ as Jess beamed and threw out his hand with all five fingers stretched out. “This many!”

Turning to Josh, I raised a brow. “Five huh?” He shrugged and said it was a start. I couldn’t help but smile as I pressed my lips against his chest. “One,” I said. “Two,” I whispered as I kissed just above the collar of his shirt. “Three,” was on his jaw. “Four,” the left corner of his mouth and on ‘five’ his lips found mine. As our lips moved in sync, he gripped my butt and lifted me off the floor, setting me down on the counter were he tried to sit Jess earlier. We could’ve stay like that forever, joined at the lips as our hands roamed over each other but the sound of Jess’s giggling brought us back from we were.

“I don’t want you to go,” Josh whispered against my lips.

“I don’t want to go.” I whispered back. “But,”

Josh sighed and pulled away, “I know.” He glanced down at Jess who was grinning at us.

Without another word Josh helped me down from the kitchen counter and walked me to the door. “I’ll call you,” he told me as he held the door open.

I nodded, gave Jess a quick kiss on the cheek. “Be good for daddy and have fun. I’ll see you soon.” Gazing up at Josh, I gave him a smile and touched my fingers to his lips, “I love you.”
Walking away from the two of them was difficult to say the least, I kept hoping that Jess would start to cry and call out for me to come back but I made it to my car without that happening. I wasn’t in the mood to go see my brother but I knew if I didn’t I would regret it for the rest of the year, so as I started my car I glanced at the apartment building one last time and drove away before I did something silly, like cry again.