Moonlight Wanderings

I woke up a little disoriented, at first I didn’t know where I was. I almost jumped up in bed but then I felt Josh’s body against mine and his arm around me and everything came back to me.

Taking a quick look over my shoulder at his sleeping form, I slowly pushed back the covers and slipped out of bed. I was halfway to the bedroom door when I remembered that I was naked and Jesse was in the next room. With only the light from the moon coming in through the blinds, I found I couldn’t find any of my clothes but I did find a t-shirt of his. Slipping it on, I opened the door and made my way to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the vanity, staring at my reflection in the mirror; I looked like I had spent the entire night rolling around in bed with Josh. Grinning, I turned on the water and splashed some on my face, I know sex isn’t everything but damn it’s always great with him.

Still smiling, I opened the bathroom door and went to make my way to the kitchen to get something to drink when I thought I heard Jesse’s voice. Pausing in my tracks, I glanced down the hall at his partially opened door. I couldn’t tell if he was awake or not so I slowly made my way to his room.

Pushing the door opened, I whispered his name but he didn’t say anything. In the moonlight, I could see he was sprawled across the bed with the blankets almost thrown off his bed. His hand, which held Mister Bear, was hanging over the edge of the bed. As I watched him laying there I couldn’t help but feel proud of the little boy he was, which I thought was a little silly seeing I really didn’t have anything to do with that. Too attached, too fast. Why can’t I seem to take it slow with Josh? Why does it feel like we’ve been together for a while?

When I went to move closer to his bed Jesse shifted and wiggled around like he was trying to cover up again, dropping Mister Bear in the process. As silently as possible, I knelt next to his bed, picked up his bear and tucked him in close to his tiny body. I smiled as Jesse’s arm wrapped around the bear as I pulled the blanket up over the both of them.

Before I went to get up, I brushed the hair out of Jesse’s face and then leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I love you sweetie, sleep tight.”

I pushed myself off the floor, glancing at his sleeping form one last time before I headed out of his room. I was smiling as I turned the corner to go into Josh’s room. My hand flew to my mouth, “Oh!” I gasped, jumping back as I almost ran into Josh. “You scared me,” I told him when my heart stopped racing.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he took my hand and lead me back to his bed. He waited until I was comfortably resting in his arms - I had my eyes closed and my fingers were tracing tiny circles through the hair on his chest - before he said anything else. “I watched you with Jess just now.”

My fingers slowed on his chest as I looked up at him. “I thought I heard him when I went to the bathroom so I thought I’d check on him. That was ok, wasn’t it?”

Josh turned on his side to face me, “Of course it was ok. I’m glad that you and Jesse get along so well, it means a lot to me.”

I smiled, “Jess is a great kid, and he’s so easy to talk to.” I moved my hand around to his back, holding him as my fingers resumed their circling.

He smiled as his eyes closed. He was silent for so long that I had thought that he had fallen asleep so I snuggled closer to him and closed my eyes, hoping to join him in dreamland. “Anna?” he whispered.

“Yes Josh?” My voice was muffled against his chest.

“I think we have something else we need to talk about.”

My eyes opened wide, I turned my face upwards and frowned. “What else do we need to talk about?” I was a little hesitant to find out the answer to that question, I didn’t want to fight with him again.

He moved down until he was able to look into my eyes without me straining my neck. “When I was watching you with Jess, I started to think about us and everything we’ve done together. And don’t get me wrong, I love everything we’ve done and I would like for it to continue but it got me thinking…” His voice trailed off as if he lost where he was going with that.

I believed I knew what he was trying to say so I continued where he left off. “Got you wondering if we are going too fast and maybe done something that you aren’t sure we are ready for yet.”

He studied my face for a moment, and then he nodded. “Yes,” he sighed. “I couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible that we might be pregnant?” His eyes widen and he quickly added, “Not that it would be terrible if we were, I just…”

I placed my finger over his lips and I couldn’t help but grin. I thought that it was the cutest thing ever that he kept saying ‘we’ instead of ‘you’. “I don’t really have an answer for you on that one because I don’t know but I did wonder about it earlier.”

Josh raised himself up on his elbow and smiled down at me. “It’s weird because part of me wishes that we are but the other part of me knows that it’s way too soon in our relationship for something that big.”

I agreed with him. “What do you want to do?”

He shrugged, “Wait and see?”

I raised a brow, “And?”

“Start using protection?” He said hopefully.

“So you don’t want to stop -” I didn’t have time to finish the question before he started shaking his head like mad. I laughed, “Well if you are sure.”

He nodded, “I don’t know if I can be with you and not be able to make love to you.” He shook his head, “Well, I could if I had too but I would rather not.”

I smiled, “I would rather you didn’t too.”

“But,” he said as he fell to the bed beside me. “There will be times like right now, where I’ll be too tired to do anything but hold you and mumble incoherent things in your ear.” He pulled me back against him and kissed my shoulder. “Good night my love.”

I settled comfortably back into his arms, “Good night Handsome,” I whispered as I started to drift off to sleep.