A Friend Like No Other

I don’t know if it was because we really felt sorry for him, or if we were just bored and didn’t have anything else better to do but Jordan and I agreed to join Nicky in his ‘quest for all things baby’ as he put it.

We left the house and all climbed into my car. “What? You’re going to drive?” Nicky positioned himself in the center of the back seat and did up his seat belt. Then he leaned over and pulled the belt from the right across his lap and did the same with the belt from the left. I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m not that bad of a driver!”

He laughed, “Oh no, not at all. You were the one who ran into that parked car that time, right? And the one who almost killed that poor little old lady who gave you the finger.”

“How about the time she put the car in the ditch,” Jordan joined in. “Changing the CD wasn’t it?”

I glared at the both of them, “Fine, get out and walk then!”

“Meow,” Nicky hissed like a cat and did the claw hand thing. “Just drive Trouble and ignore me.” He started mumbling the Lord’s Prayer to himself as I put the car in reverse.

There are times that I just want to kill the two of them, when one starts picking on me the other just has to join in. Although, I guess it always works that way, for I pick on Jordan or Nicky and the other one will join. And you know the nice thing about guy friends? Most times they don’t get offended, so you can say anything to them, it’s great.

We decided to head to my work because honestly? It’s really the only place around here that is worth going too. Most of the stores in my hometown are old and smelly; you can’t really get anything without paying an arm and a leg. And that was before Wal-Mart opened up. Now they’ve lowered their prices or brought in things that Wal-Mart doesn’t carry but I don’t get a discount there, so you know where you’ll find me.

Once we got to the store, the boys took off for the automotive section. I tried to get their attention and remind them what we went there for but they were long gone into car world that the sound of a woman’s voice didn’t register anymore. So I wandered around picking up some things that I knew I needed.

I was in Electronics scanning the new movies display when someone called my name. Turning around, I smiled. “Hi Hank. Hey Jenna.”

“Are you working?” Hank asked me as I leaned down to Jenna, who was chewing on an Arrowroot biscuit.

“Nope,” I shook my head. “I’m off this sick week due to an incident that happened a couple days ago.” I reached out my hand and Jenna grabbed hold of my finger. “Is that cookie yummy sweetie?” Jenna stared at me and then pushed her mushy cookie towards me, catching me on the chin with it. She giggled as I made a face. “Eww.”
Hank quickly opened the diaper bag he was carting around and pulled out a tissue. “Sorry about that.”

I laughed, “It’s no big deal.” I wiped the cookie off my chin and leaned back down to Jenna. “Bet you are thinking that ‘if the crazy lady didn’t want the cookie she shouldn’t get in my face’. Ain’t that right?” She giggled and bounced in the cart’s seat. “Yeah, you were just sharing like a good little girl.”

I straightened up and looked at Hank. “So your girlfriend is working again?”

He glanced at his watch, “Yeah but she gets off in twenty minutes. Then I get to drop her off at her parents for dinner.” I gave him a funny look and he sighed. “I’m not invited.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe what he said. “That can’t be right?”

He chuckled, “I wish. But her dad asked her and Jenna to go over for dinner. Then said to her, ‘Hank can find something to amuse himself. I hear there’s a good strip club in the next town’.”

I gasped, “Oh my god! And she’s going to go without you?”

He nodded, “Yeah. If she shows up without me she can talk him into lending her some money and we need all we can at this point in time. The downside is, she has to sit there and listen to him go on about the great opportunity she walked away from. How if she was with her ex instead of me, she wouldn’t have a worry in the world.”

“But you said her ex lied and cheated. Doesn’t her dad know this?”

“Yeah, but he loves the guy so much, he doesn’t see how much of a jerk he was to her.” Hank took a deep breath and glanced at Jenna. “At least one great thing did come out of their relationship.” Jenna held up her arms to him, she had this big grin on her face.

I grinned and thought, how cute. “I know it’s none of my business but I don’t think she should go over there without you, no matter what she can get from her dad. It’s not being fair to you.”

He shrugged, “I’m tired of arguing with her about it.”

I wanted to shake him, “There shouldn’t be -”

The PA system cut me off. Well it was actually what was being said. “Is it on? I don’t know…yup, I hear you.”

“Oh crap!” I quickly looked around the store. “Oh guys don’t.”

Hank gave me a funny look. “What’s wrong?” He looked around too.

“The PA…my friends…I’m so going to get in trouble.” I frantically looked around again, “I have to go.” I told him and started out for Automotive.

There was a cough on the PA and then. “Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers. Could Anna please come to the baby department?” Nick’s voice came through loud and clear. “That’s Anna, the hot chick that normally works Infants, get your sweet butt over here now. Thank you and have a great day! Go Wal-Mart!”

I turned ten shades of red as I turned around and headed for Infants. I’m going to kill them, both of them. It seemed that everyone I knew was lined up along the way to Infants, I nodded to a few before I started to jog over there. They were standing in front of the car seats, talking in hushed tones. “Justifiable homicide boys!” I said when I finally found them. They both turned simultaneously towards me with blank expressions on their faces.

“What’s wrong babe?” Jordan asked innocently.

I felt my anger build as they stared at me oh-so innocently. “You know exactly what’s wrong.” I hissed. “How could you guys do that? Do you know how much trouble I can get into?”

Nick glanced at Jordan and then back at me. “We’re sorry.” He had put on his best sad puppy dog face.

I slap his arm. “That may work with Amy but I’m so not buying it!”

“Oh come on trouble, nothing will happen.”

I stood there shaking my head at them, trying to figure out if I should skin them alive before I killed them.

“So tell me,” Nicky slipped his arm around my shoulder. “What toys should I get my baby?”

“Toys?” I shook my head. “Nick the baby isn’t going to want to play with toys for a while.”

“Babies love toys, I know that much Anna.”

I scoffed, “Yeah when they are old enough to know what they are. Nick all your baby is going to be doing the first couple months is eating, sleeping and pooping.”

“Well hell!” Nick exclaimed with a hint of annoyance to his voice. “Why are we having a baby in that case? Jordy can move in and it’ll be the same thing!”

“Hey!” Jordan put the toy phone he was playing with back on the shelf. “I’ll have you know I’ll need toys if I move in.”

Nick laughed, “Like that phone there? Are you going to call up your imaginary girl and ask her over for a play date?”

Before Jordan could reply I directed Nick towards the cribs. “Let’s start with where the baby will sleep.” It’s going to be a long day.