Let The Conversing Begin

Josh and I stayed on the floor in Jesse’s room long after he had fallen asleep, in fact I thought that Josh had fallen asleep as well because he didn’t say anything or move for a while. I found I was a little disappointed about that, he said we would talk tonight, and I really wanted to know what he wanted to talk about.

I was getting restless and my arm was starting to fall asleep, so I rolled onto my back and sat up. Moments later Josh’s hand was on my back. “Everything ok honey?”

I nodded and glanced over my shoulder at him. When he had come into Jesse’s room earlier, he was wearing just a pair of jogging pants. At the moments those pants were riding so dangerously low on his hips that I couldn’t help but wonder if he was naked underneath them and if he was how long it would take me to convince him to remove them.

Josh sat up next to me, “Quit undressing me with your eyes,” he joked as he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

Lifting my face up to his, I smiled. “I’ll undress you any way I please.” I gently pushed him back against the mattress and moved over him, “Right now, I’d rather just kiss you.”

He grinned and puckered up. “Go for it.”

I laughed. And Jesse rolled over in his bed next to us. Both of us held our breaths as we looked over to the bed but Jesse never stirred again nor said anything. Breathing a sigh of relief, Josh slipped his hands down to my hips, “Honey, I think we should get out of here.”

Moments later Josh sunk down onto the couch. When I sat down next to him, he gave me a little pout and looked down at his empty lap. I chuckled and swung my legs up over his, “How’s that?”

He pouted some more then suddenly he grinned, “Oh I don’t know.” He slid his hand up my outer leg, turning his body to mine. “I think I can make do,” he winked and lowered his head to kiss my lips.

“Josh,” I lifted my hand and covered his lips before they touched mine; I could feel him frown against my hand. “You said we’d talk tonight.”

He nodded, his smile was back. “That’s what I was trying to do.”

I pushed him away, “I mean really talk, not groaning random words while getting off!” The moment I said that, I wished I could take it back but it was already out there. “Josh?” I raised my hand and went to touch his face but he moved away from my hand.

“Move,” he said without looking at me.

“Josh, I-”

“Move.” He commanded and I did what he asked. As soon as my legs were off his, he jumped off the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. I heard a cupboard door open and then the fridge open and close. Then it was silent, and it’s the silence that gets to me.

As I sat alone on the couch I began to wonder what was wrong with me, why do I keep saying such stupid things? I pushed myself off the couch and walked silently out to the kitchen. Peeking around the corner, I saw Josh leaning back against the counter, a glass of milk in his hands. “Josh?” I moved into the kitchen, “I’m sorry.”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he lifted the glass to his lips and took a drink. My eyes were drawn to his lips pressed against the glass, my body ached to feel those lips on my neck, shoulder…and breasts, I groaned at that thought. He turned his head towards me and the look in his eyes made me turn away, it was so cold.

When I turned back to him, he wasn’t standing there anymore. I wanted to cry; in fact I stood there for a few minutes fighting the tears that threatened to spill at a moments notice. Taking a deep breath, I walked out of the kitchen, stopping short as I almost ran into him. “Oh!” I cried out in surprise.

His hands came out and gripped my arms; he held me in front of him and stared down at me, the intensity of his stare made me feel both turned on and a little scared. “I’m not just looking for sex Anna. That’s not why I keep coming around.”

My eyes met his and I was surprised by what I saw lingering in the background of his heated stare, fear and insecurity. I lifted my hands to his bare chest, my fingers automatically stroking through the hair there. “Josh,” I paused, my eyes dropping to my hands on his chest. My fingers stilled and I went to remove my hands but his hands had left my arms and they now held my hands against his chest.

“What were you going to say?” His voice was low and as I looked into his eyes again, the fear and insecurity weren’t there anymore.

I smiled and stepped closer to him. “I know you don’t keep coming around for that.” I sighed, “Sometimes I speak before I think and instantly regret it.”

“Really? I never noticed.” He smiled down at me before his expression became serious again. “But you are right; there are things we should talk about.” As I nodded to show I agreed with him, my eyes traveled down to his chest again and he chuckled, “Should I go get a shirt on?”

“No…yes…no.” I sighed as he laughed at my indecisiveness, “If I wasn’t wearing a shirt, could you have a sensible conversation with me?” I asked him when my eyes met his again.

His eyes flicked to my chest and he swallowed, “Point taken.” He released me and made his way down the hall to his room.

In the two seconds it seemed to take him to find a shirt and throw it on, I barely had time to make my way over to the couch again. I had just sat down when he was dropping onto the cushion next to me, “Is this better?” He pointed to his t-shirt, one of the many baring the name of my old high school.

I groaned, “Yeah now I’m just having fantasies about getting you naked at work.”

His eyes jumped to mine, “Don’t even go there. It’s bad enough I can’t stop thinking about you now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle going to work on Monday if you say anything more.”

“Is that so?” I gave him an evil grin and then laughed at the pained expression on his face. “Oh Josh,” I threw my arms around his neck. “Come on Handsome, I know you thought about me showing up at your office in the school, wearing nothing but a smile.” I nipped playfully at the skin beneath his ear and was rewarded with a low growl.

“Please don’t,” came his begging groan.

I flicked my tongue against his skin, “Ok, I’ll tell you all about that one later.”

He nodded, “Much later. Long after I retire and have no interest in going into a school ever again.” I laughed and let him think I was agreeing with him. He didn’t say anything for a minute then took a deep breath and looked at me. “So, what was it we needed to talk about?”

“I was wondering if you got a hold of your lawyer.”

He sighed, “No. But I did leave a voice mail and told him I need to talk to him ASAP. And I spoke to Zach to see if there was anything I could do in the mean time.”

It was weird to have him refer to my brother with such ease; most of the guys I dated were always scare of my brother. I guess it’s sort of a good thing they were friends first? “What did Zach say?”

“He told me that he’d look into it, unofficially. See if there is really any reason for me to be concerned, if there is abuse going on at Carol’s. But he told me that with him being my friend and your brother, he’s too personally involved to be unbiased.”

It was my turn to sigh, “Damn Zach and his morals.”

Josh laughed, “He’s a good guy.”

“I know, even if he is my brother.” I smiled. “So?”

“So that means tomorrow I have to watch my son cry and throw a tantrum as his mother is dragging him away from me.” He looked at me, his expression unreadable. “Anna, I have to warn you now, I won’t be much fun when that moment comes; it rips me apart every time.”

Even though what he was telling me was sad, I couldn’t help but smile inside, he wants me to be there! I lifted my hand to his cheek, “Josh I would be shocked if you were ok after he leaves. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

Without warning he pulled me onto his lap and hugged me tight, “I love you,” he whispered against my neck.

I stroked my fingers through his hair and although I had a big smile on my face, I didn’t say anything and he didn’t expect me too. He just squeezed me tighter until the tension in his body melted away.

It must have been a good half hour later before he pulled back from me. “So,” he smiled at me. “How did your day go?”

I rolled my eyes and then filled him in on everything with the boys and Amy. When I was finished he said, “You know, I envy Nick. If things had been different, if things were the way they should’ve been, I would have loved being there for every moment of Carol’s pregnancy.” I raised a brow at him, he smiled. “What? Sure there maybe times were they feel overwhelmed and just want to scream at each other but come on Anna, as a guy all we can do to feel a part of that major life event is to be there. I wasn’t there for most of that with Jesse, hell I missed out on almost every major step in his life and probably will continue to miss them and it kills me to know that.” He sighed, “Nick is very lucky.”

“Josh,” I hesitated before asking what I wanted.

He gave me an encouraging smile, “Please know you can ask me anything.”

I took a deep breath, “How did Carol end up with Jesse?”