Dropping The Bombs

“Have a seat,” Jordan motioned towards the couch as he guided me to the armchair. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

While Zach and I told him we were good, Mary gazed up at him in an almost wishful fashion as she asked him, “Were my eyes deceiving me, or do you really have Nestle Quik on your kitchen counter?”

“The syrup stuff?” He asked while making his way over to the kitchen’s entrance to check. “Yes,” he smiled. “We have both chocolate and strawberry – did you want one?”

“Yes!” Mary exclaimed with child-like excitement as she slapped her hands together in glee. “Both, please.” Her eyes lit up, “Oh! Do you have ice cream?” She went on to tell us how ‘yummy’ a chocolate/strawberry syrup milkshake would be. “Of course,” she sighed. “It would be better with chocolate chips and real strawberries in there as well….mmmmmm.”

“Do you really think all that sugar is…?”

Mary cut Zach off with just one look.

“Last night you said you couldn’t sleep because of all the sugar you ate…” He shrugged. “Have what you want.”

Jordan, who had been hovering in the doorway of the kitchen, took that as a sign to go ahead and make the shake for Mary. Ten minutes later, Jordan entered the living room with two large glasses full to the rim with milkshake.

“Looked really good,” he whispered to me as he lowered himself down onto the floor in front of my armchair and proceeded to take a mouthful of the shake before offering his glass to me. “Want some?”

Although I had to admit that the shake looked good, I wasn’t feeling that hot, I felt bloated and a little cranky. With a hand pressed gently against my stomach, I told him no. “But,” I turned my attention to my surly brother and his ice cream giddy wife. “I would like to know what brought you two here tonight? Were you in town for dinner or something?”

Mary shook her head as Zach said ‘no’.

“Worried I was corrupting your sister?” Jordan joked before adding. “She’s the corruptor, just so you know.”

“Whatever!”

Tilting his head back, he gave me one of his oh-so-sexy, extremely danger to my composure, grins. “You know it’s true Babe, you’ve turned my world upside down since the moment I met you.”

I was incapable of saying anything, his grin combined with his touching words tugged at my heart and he knew it. Normally it would bug me if a guy knew this but, like most things, I’ve been coming to realize I didn’t mind Jordan knowing anything about me. In fact, it made me feel all the more secure and happy in our relationship.

“That’s so sweet!” Mary gushed before slapping Zach on the leg and demanding to know why he never said stuff like that to her anymore.

“When do I get the chance?” Zach asked softly. “You shove me away whenever I try.”

“I wasn’t talking sex!” She hissed.

“Neither was I,” he replied. With a sigh he sunk back into the cushions on the couch, his eyes never once leaving Mary’s. “My life would be nothing without you, you know that.”

Silence settled around the living room. Zach and Mary sat locked in a staring contest of sorts while Jordan seemed oblivious to what was going on as he happily ate his shake. I, on the other hand, wanted to say something – anything – to make things right between my brother and his wife. But what could I say?

In the end, I would remain silent but it didn’t matter, Mary had it all under control. “Shake?” She moved her straw aside to stir the shake with the spoon Jordan provided for her before offering her glass to Zach.

At first he was hesitant, the look on his face wasn’t one of a man who wished to subject himself to a taste test, although, moments later he took a deep breath and the spoonful of shake Mary offered him. “Mmmm,” he nodded a fake smile on his face but he turned his head sideway, and cringed as he swallowed.

“Want more?” Mary asked eagerly.

“No, no.” Zach waved his hand. “Go ahead; I wouldn’t want to take from you and the baby.”

Mary didn’t argue, she shrugged and continued slurping back the shake. “Tell them why we are here.”

****

The pain I had felt earlier was exactly what I feared it would be and like every other time my period came, it hurt. Curled up in the fetal position on Jordan’s bed, I was waiting for him to finish his shower and join me. It had been an eventful day and Zach’s arrival at Jordan’s house that night proved to be the icing on the cake.

Movement on the bed behind me, alerted me to Jordan’s presence moments before his arm draped around my waist and his mouth pressed against my shoulder. “Hey Babe,” he murmured. “You know all this talk of….”

Frowning, I glanced over my shoulder to where he lay frozen with his hand covering mine as it rested on my belly. “Jordy?”

“No, no, no…” He shook his head, his fingers tapping on my hand. “Please tell me….”

“Tell you what?” I turned his way.

“Hand…belly….” He muttered ‘no, no, no’ again.

“Jor-“

“Damnit!” He cursed. “I’m too late, there’s no love for me tonight.”

Despite the sadness in his voice, I chuckled. “Sorry Babe, I can’t help it.”

“I know,” he sighed as he rolled away. “Mother Nature is a bitch some times.”

Laughing, I told him he could’ve had some loving the night before, “But you missed out.” Playing with the blankets I told him he shouldn’t have been so pissy.

“Pissy?” He scoffed and slipped out of bed.

“Jordan?” I called after him but he walked out of the bedroom without looking back.

If I wasn’t in so much pain, I would’ve been kicking myself in the ass but as it was, the mental ass kicking I was giving myself was almost as bad as the real thing. How could I have been so stupid? I wanted to know. Why did I have to bring up the night before? What did I think he would do? Laugh it off and tell me I was right, he was being an ass.

No, I lectured myself. You were the one being an ass.

Either way, it didn’t matter, Jordan was upset with me, once again and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I started to feel that I was destroying everything I held dear when the bed shifted under Jordan’s weight.

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until something very warm brushed against my hand. “I’m sorry,” I blurted out as he leaned in over me.

“You don’t have to be sorry Anna,” he replied as he lifted my hand from my belly, pressed a hot water bottle against it and settled down behind me. “I knew it was going to happen soon, I just hoped I would have another night, that’s all.”

A single tear drop rolled from my eye. “You aren’t mad at me for what I said?”

“What?” He kissed my shoulder. “The pissy comment?” I nodded and he chuckled. “No Anna, I’m not mad about that. I’m angrier with myself than anything else right now.”

“Well, that’s –“

“Unless,” he cut me off. “You count Heather. I’m furious with her at the moment.”

“What??” I tried to turn towards him but he held me tight. “Why? You didn’t even speak to her tonight, did you?”

“No,” He admitted. “I was too pissed off after last night’s conversation to talk to her tonight.”
Once again, I asked him why. “What did she say Jordy?”

With a sigh, he told me that he believed it was time for him to find a lawyer. “I really didn’t want to do that but…” He groaned. “I may have to.”

It took little prompting for Jordan to tell me that Heather told him the night before that she would be home on Thursday so she would be picking up Jenna. “I told her that was fine, I knew she missed Jenna. I jokingly told her that it would be difficult for me to let her take Jenna but at least it wouldn’t be for too long, I would be picking her up on Friday at my normal time.”

“Right,” I nodded when he paused. “So what was the problem?”

“She told me that Jenna wasn’t going to come over this weekend because she wanted to spend time with her. I mentioned that it was my time, like we agreed months ago but she told me it was too bad because I had her all this time while they were visiting Hank’s family.” As he spoke, he became irate. “It’s not my fault Hank had to go home and they didn’t take Jenna. I told her this and she told me that she didn’t have to let me see Jenna at all!”

“What?” I managed to turn this time. “What is that supposed to mean? She would try to keep Jenna from you? That’s not right.”

“I know!” He exclaimed. “I’m her daddy and I have rights! I told Heather this but she said that my rights are whatever she says they are and she is keeping Jenna until next Friday – if she lets me take her then!”

I was too shocked to even speak.

“I told her she was wrong, she didn’t have the right to tell me when I could and couldn’t see my daughter because I have rights, damnit!” He went on to tell me that Heather started to freak out on him and somehow she brought up that if he wanted to see Jenna again he would shut up or the only way he would see her is in court. His whole body shook as he told me that Heather screamed Hank was a better daddy for Jenna and she would see to it that he never saw her again if that’s the way he wanted to be.

“I don’t want to go through a custody battle Anna, I just want to see my daughter but I’m afraid that won’t happen if I let Heather pick her up tomorrow.”

Completely blown away, that’s how I felt. I tried to make sense of everything he was saying but nothing seemed to come together. I didn’t understand how Heather could’ve done a complete turn around when it came to Jordan and Jenna, she seemed happy that they were spending time together. I asked if she said anything else but he shook his head. “She just told me to have her ready tomorrow.”

“What are you going to do?”

He sighed. “What choice do I have, really? Heather is Jenna’s legal guardian and I don’t have anything.”

“Are you going to change that?”

“I didn’t want to drag Jenna through that.”

“But?”

“But I have no choice, if Heather tries to keep me from my daughter, I’ll fight her every step of the way. I will not miss a second more than I already have. I can’t, I love her too much to let her go.”

An uneasy silence settled over the bedroom as Jordan and I drifted off into our own thoughts. I was outraged for all the hurt that Heather managed to cause Jordan with just one simple phone call. All I could think was that she wasn’t going to get away with it, Jordan wouldn’t lose his little girl, not if I could help it. I went to tell him I would be there for him, no matter what when he broke the silence.

“I can’t believe your brother didn’t tell you about your inheritance before.”

“What?” I stared at him. “Where did that come from?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I was just thinking about character witnesses – people who could attest to me being a great daddy. Zach, having known me all my life and being a respectable member of society, would be a great character witness. Well, that got me thinking about why they were here tonight.” He gazed at me. “I can’t believe your brother kept your inheritance from you.”

Neither could I. When Zach handed me a bank cheque for $50,000 I told him there was no way I was taking his money. “We can do this on our own,” I insisted.

“I know,” he had replied. “But this money isn’t from me, it’s from your part of the money mom and dad left us.”

I gasped, “Mom and dad?” Glancing at Jordan, I couldn’t believe it. “How…?”

“They had insurance,” he told me. “Plus the money from the civil suit filed against the driver that killed them.” He ran a hand over his face and told me it wasn’t all the money. “There is still a little in trust for you for when you turn 25.”

“How much is a little?” Jordan asked as he drew the straw into his mouth.

“$250,000,” Zach stated.

“$250,000?” Jordan squeaked as his mouthful of shake went down the wrong way.

Zach nodded solemnly. “Yes.”

“Then…?” I motioned towards the cheque, not really sure what I was asking.

“I knew you had the money for your house, I just thought you might need a little something for minor reno or many even decorating.” He grinned. “I know how you love to decorate Anna.”

Time

The week after we went house hunting, Jordan decided that he would take the time off work so he can pack and clean his old house. “It’s time to get serious and move out of here,” he told me Monday night when I came home from work. “I’m so tired of living here now.” With a chuckle, he told me that he was too impatient to move onto our new life together.

I’m not exactly sure what he was doing during the day, but when I came home the first couple nights, it didn’t appear that he had really done too much to pack or clean. When I brought it up with him, he became upset and told me that I was being too judgemental. “I’ve been doing a lot,” he told me in a huff before stomping down the hallway with Jenna in his arms.

That night, in bed, was a lonely one. Despite the fact that he was next to me, it was like he was some where else. For the first time since I can remember, he didn’t make a move to hold me. I tried to talk to him, to see what was going on in his head but he refused to even acknowledge my presence.

In the early morning hours, I managed to fall asleep but was soon disrupted by my alarm going off. Crawling out of bed, I noticed Jordan wasn’t next to me. Neither was he anywhere else in the house. I left for work on Wednesday morning, wondering what I said that pissed him off so much that he would be up and gone when he didn’t have to be anywhere.

****

All day long, at work, my thoughts were weren’t where they needed to be. For the first time since I started working at the store, I didn’t really wish to be there and I tried my hardest to avoid customers. “What’s going on with you?” Linda demanded when she found me hiding in the horseshoe.

“I’m just having a bad day,” I tried to push off anymore of her questions but she wasn’t about to let it go.

“Anna, I’ve never known you to hide from customers. They’ve always seemed to be the highlight of your day. What’s going on?”

Staring down at my nails, I sighed. “Jordan and I had a fight – I think.”

“You think?” She sounded puzzled. “How can you not know?”

At her coaxing, I told her of the events that took place the night before and how he was gone when I woke up. “I don’t know what happened, I wasn’t being judgemental. I just asked how his day went and how much he got done.”

Linda was silent for so long, I thought for sure she was trying to think of a diplomatic way to tell me that I was the one in the wrong. I was so sure she was going to tell me that I overreacted and I should apologize to him – it was something I had been told for so many years, what else would I expect to be told?

“Anna,” she knelt down before me. “I don’t know what to tell you, I wish I did.”

Sighing, I told her I understood. “I just don’t want to do anything to ruin what Jordan and I have. I love him so much; I can’t imagine being without…” I trailed off as I realized what I was saying and who I was saying it to. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” she flashed me a smile but I knew she was thinking of her dead husband. “It’s difficult to lose the man you love with all your heart,” she admitted. “Although, I don’t believe Jordan is lost to you Anna.”

“No, he’s not.”

“You will talk this out with him Anna. You’ll see that everything will be fine.”

“Yes,” I smiled. “Everything will be ok.”

“Good.” She patted my knee and stood. “I can’t have you falling to pieces when I’m gone – who would take care of you then?”

I didn’t want to think of Friday and Linda’s last day as one of my associates. “I’m going to miss you greatly,” I told her. “Are you sure you wish to leave us?”

“Yes,” she smiled. “My youngest is very excited that we’ll get to spend the days together at ‘school’.”

Even though I was sad that Linda was leaving, I understood her excitement about moving in on to something she had been working on for the last few years, being a child care worker. “I just can’t believe you’d leave all this,” I motioned around with a chuckle. “To go play with kids all day long.”

“Not just play,” she reminded me. “Teach them as well.”

I may have appeared to not want her to go but in actual fact, I envied her. She would get to spend so much more time with her youngest son now, instead of feeling guilty that she wasn’t around for him like she had been for his two older brothers.

****

After work, I just wanted to run home to talk to Jordan but, since it was Wednesday, I had to head over to the high school to supervise for the play. Before I made my way to the school though, I stopped by Jordan’s parents place to see if Jordan had dropped off Jenna and if I needed to pick her up.

“Anna?” Harriet seemed surprised to see me when she came to the door. “What are you doing here?”

I told her I wasn’t sure if Jordan dropped Jenna off with them this morning. “I thought I would stop by and see if I needed to pick her up.”

With a shake of her head, she told me that he did drop her off but already came back to pick her up. “You just missed him,” she informed me. “He came by about 10 minutes ago to get her.”

“Oh,” I tried not to seem too disappointed. “Sorry to have bothered you,” I mumbled as I turned to leave.

Once in my car, I tried to call Jordan but like the couple times I tried him earlier, my calls went directly to voice mail. “Hey Jordy, I just called to remind you that I’ll be at the school for a couple hours. I wouldn’t want you to worry when I didn’t come home. I’ll see you around 5:30. Love you.”

****

“See you later Anna!”

Glancing up from my notes, I smiled and waved at the last group of kids, besides my nieces, to leave. “Great job today,” I called after them. “See you all on Friday!”

When the door closed behind them, I sighed and decided it was time for me to get a move on as well. Gathering all my stuff together, I stood and made my way over to the stage where Cassie and Lindsay were seated with their homework spread out in front of them. “Why don’t you call your dad and tell him I’ll bring you home?”

“Dad wont’ be too long,” Cassie assured me. “Besides, I’m sure you have plans with Uncle Jordy. You know, with the moving and everything.”

“Yeah,” Lindsay jumped in. “Go home, relax and don’t worry about us.” Casting a glance across the stage, towards the back, she told me that Josh promised their dad that he would wait with them until he showed up. “I’m sure dad just has to finish up at work, he shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“Ok.” Hiking my bag up my shoulder, I told them I would see them later. “Tell your dad I’ll call him later, ok?”

The girls nodded but their attention had shifted from me and back to their books. “Have a good night,” I said to them as I turned to leave.

I was brushing a small amount of snow from my car when the double doors of the theatre opened. “Hey!” Josh exclaimed as he hurried over to me. “I was hoping I didn’t miss you.”

“You almost did,” I motioned to my car. “Had to let her warm up a little, other wise you would’ve.”

He made some comment about being happy it was cold. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

“Oh?” I raised a brow. “About what?”

“About…” He trailed off as he gave me a puzzled look. “About the house, of course!” He laughed. “I was talking to Zach yesterday and he told me that this weekend was successful for Jordan and you. I just wanted to know if you liked the house or not?”

“Well, you should’ve been here on Monday,“ I teased. “Then you would’ve heard all about it! The kids somehow found out and it was all they wanted to talk about!”

“Oh come on,” he groaned. “You know I had an appointment Monday, I would’ve been here if I could.” His appointment was with his lawyer, he didn’t really tell me too much about it and I didn’t ask. “So tell me now.”

“We found a house,” I told him.

“That’s it?” His smile disappeared. “You aren’t going to tell me which one? Or if you even liked the house I told you about?”

Before I answered, I took a second to knock the snow off my snowbrush and toss it into the back seat. “Jordan and I really like the house you told me about Josh.”

“Yeah?” His grin was back in full force. “I knew you would like it.” He looked so pleased with himself that it made me wonder why it mattered so much to him, so I asked him.

“Why?” He shrugged. “No reason really, I just heard about it and you were the first person that jumped to mind.” His eyes narrowed, “Why? Did you think I had an ulterior motive?”

“No!” I exclaimed. “I didn’t.” But Jordan did, I thought. In fact, Jordan almost refused to even look at the house Josh told me about because he said that he wouldn’t feel ‘right’ in the house.

“Good, because I didn’t.”

“Good,” I grinned. “Because Jordan and I loved that house so much – we put an offer in on it!” I was so excited; I threw my arms out and hugged him tight. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! It was just what we were looking for! Just walking through the rooms I could see us there. Jenna also loved the house; she even picked out her own room!”

“That’s wonderful!” He squeezed me tight. “Really wonderful.”

****

When I pulled into the drive that night, I sat in my car for a few minutes, just listening to the radio and thinking. I guess, to be honest, I was bracing myself for a huge fight with Jordan because I knew that I wasn’t about to go another minute with him not speaking to me. I wasn’t naive enough to think that Jordan and I were immune to arguing because we’ve known each other for so long but, to be honest, it worried me that we have had little arguments more and more in the last couple months; I was afraid that it was a sign that, even though we were great as friends, being more wasn’t in the stars for us.

“Don’t be silly,” I said aloud. “Don’t over think this or you’ll end up seeing things that aren’t there.”

Gaining some confidence, I quickly shut off my car and hurried into the house, ready to face whatever it was I came across when I got in there. I hoped that Jordan would be in a good enough mood to at least speak to me but I was prepared to have to work for it. I was willing to work for it.

“Ahh-naa-naa!” I was in the middle of hanging up my jacket when Jenna came barrelling out into the porch, throwing herself at me with such force I never expected from her.

“Hey Jenna.” Scooping to swing her up in my arms, I stepped over the boots scattered over the floor and moved into the kitchen. “How have you been Sweetie?” Nuzzling her neck, I told her I missed her so much today. “And so did the rest of the kids at school.”

Jenna pointed towards the table where paper and crayons were spread out. “Oh! You were drawing?” As I scanned the multi colour papers on the table, I tried really hard not to stare at Jordan who was busy around the stove. Jenna wiggled to get down, so I placed her on her chair and she immediately picked up a blue crayon.

With Jenna settled down, drawing a picture, I finally turned my attention to her daddy. “You know,” I started as I made my way in his direction. “If she keeps drawing at this pace, you’ll have to get another fridge.”

Jordan nodded slightly and then paused, “Huh?” He shot me a confused glance over his shoulder.

Shaking my head, I told him it was nothing.

“Oh ok,” he turned back to the pots on the stove and stirred the contents of one with a wooden spoon.

“So?” I glanced around. “How was your day?”

“Good,” he replied as he moved from the stove to grab a large metal spoon from the cutlery drawer.

“That’s good to hear.” I started to ask him how Jenna was for him when he sighed. “Jordan what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he stated as he turned towards me with one hand holding out the metal spoon and the other one cupped under it. “Taste this and tell me if it seems right to you – it seems to be missing something but I don’t know what.”

For a minute I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. I guess his response surprised me since I was talking about his mood and he was talking about the meat sauce he was apparently working on for supper. “You think there’s something wrong with the sauce?” I asked slowly.

“Yeah,” he gave me a funny look. “That’s what we were talking about…wasn’t it?”

“Well…” I was going to tell him no but I decided to leave it for now. “Sauce, right.” I leaned forward and accepted the sauce that he held out for me. “It doesn’t seem to be missing anything to me.”

“No?” He frowned and took another sample for himself. “Maybe I’m just off tonight.” He shrugged and tossed the spoon into the sink before reaching for me. “I made supper,” he told me as he pulled me close.

“I know,” I chuckled. “I could smell it when I walked in the door.”

“It’s ready,” he said in between the little kisses he pressed against my neck.

“Good, we just have to tell Jenna it’s time to put away her drawings.”
“What?” Jordan’s head snapped towards the table. With a chuckle, he told me that he was going to have to buy another fridge at the rate she was drawing.

****

7:30 that night, Jordan poked his head into the living room. “Anna, we are ready for you.”

“Yeah?” I immediately dropped the book I was reading and hurried down the hall after him, excited for what was to come.

When I arrived at Jenna’s bedroom door, Jordan was just settling down on one of the two bean bag chairs with Jenna’s favourite bedtime storybook and Jenna was waiting to crawl onto his lap. By the time I crossed the room they were both patiently waiting for me to lower myself onto the second bean bag so that he could start the story.

“Ahh-naa-naa, shhhh!” Jenna held a finger up to her mouth as Jordan spread the book open.

Laughing, Jordan told me that, during story time, he was the only one allowed to talk. “Ok,” he glanced down at Jenna. “Are you ready for your story?”

Her little eyes widened and she nodded so enthusiastically, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Good,” Jordan grinned. “Then let’s get started.”

As he began to read Jenna a story she has heard many, many times before I couldn’t help but feel elated that they had given me the chance to be a part of this moment. Every single night up to that point, Jordan and Jenna did their own little night time routine and I was never a part of it. The only thing I did was wait for them to come out of the bathroom to get my good night kiss from Jenna before Jordan took her into her room to read a story to her. I never complained though and I didn’t feel left out because I knew that they needed to bond and father and daughter. Plus, I had time with Jenna while Jordan was working.

I had no idea why they decided that night that I would be a part of story time, all I knew was that Jenna, instead of just giving me a kiss good night, asked me to ‘come for story’.

But I do know that Jenna had to be the luckiest little girl in the world because her daddy was the most amazing story teller ever. I swear that I was dreaming of prince charming and castles as he told the story. And, like Jenna, I didn’t really want him to ever stop reading.

Jordan ended up reading two books to us before Jenna was sleepy enough to put her in her bed for the night. “Night J-Roll,” he whispered as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

****

Jordan and I were cleaning out the closet in the porch when someone came knocking on the front door. “Are you expecting anyone?” He asked as he climbed off his step stool and made the two steps it took to reach the door. I was shaking my head when he opened the door to see Zach and Mary standing on the front step. “Hey!” He grinned. “This is a surprise! What are you two doing here?” He peered around them and asked if the girls were with them.
“No,” Zach replied. “We left the girls at home – can we come in?”

“Sure, sure.” Jordan moved back and held the door open for them, repeating once again how much of a surprise it was to see them.

“Yeah, sorry for just showing up,” Zach glanced around the room and motioned towards the kitchen. “Do you think we could move into kitchen or living room? I need to talk to you both and Mary really needs to sit down.”

Mary shot Zach a dirty look. “I’ve been sitting all evening!”

“But you were running around all day,” Zach stated.

“Oh for the love of…” Mary rolled her eyes and shook her head before turning my way. “You’d think your brother has never been around a pregnant woman the way he’s acting lately.”

Zach turned to me as well. “And you’d think Mary has never dealt with me being overprotective before, the way she’s acting now.”

“Let’s go into the living room,” I suggested, trying hard not to laugh at the two of them.

Let's Play A Game

“I can’t believe it!” Zach slapped his fork down on the table, startling everyone seated around the table.

“What’s wrong?” Mary frowned as she stared at him. “Is it dinner?”

“No, of course not,” Zach replied as he shook his head. “Them!” He pointed, accusingly towards Jordan and me. “I can’t believe them!”

“What?” Jordan shot me a quick ‘wtf’ glance. “What did we do?”

Beside me, Chad chuckled. “Go ahead Zach, don’t hold back, tell them what you think.”

“About what?” Jordan was utterly confused – a feeling I completely understood at the moment.

Sitting back in his chair, Zack crossed his arms over his chest and seemed to go into ‘cop’ mode as his gaze locked onto us. “Both of you, your whole lives, we never could get you to keep quiet and now – the one time we want to know what’s going on – it’s like a damn cat got your tongue!”

“I’m sorry….?” Jordan spoke slowly and still seemed to be confused.

“It’s ok,” I slipped my hand over Jordan’s knee as I leaned forward to stare my brother down. “I don’t recall anyone asking how the house hunting was going.” I was purposely bratty and even stuck my tongue out at him.

“I just assumed they didn’t find anything suitable,” Susan piped up with a shrug. “Otherwise, Anna would’ve talked our ears off already.”

“We did find something,” Jordan beamed as his hand slipped over mine under the table. His eyes seemed to light up even more when he told them that we found the perfect house. “I can not wait to move in!”

“For the love of….” Zach groaned as he glanced upwards and mumbled something that sounded like he was asking why he even bothered.

“Oh Zach…” Mary shook her head and rolled her eyes before asking Jordan to tell them more about the houses we viewed. “There were three of them, right?” Suddenly, she seemed to be more excited than normal about the whole thing. “Oh. Oh. OH!” She bounced excitedly in her chair. “Do it like they do on tv!”

Across the table, my nieces seemed to groan in unison but Lindsay was the only one who spoke. “Mom, this isn’t HGTV.”

Mary’s smile faltered a little as she told Lindsay that she knew that. “But that doesn’t mean Anna or Jordy can’t humour me.” There was a moment where she seemed like she was uncomfortable and she did lean back in her chair to rub her belly but it was over before Zach could even react. “Tell me what they looked like – all the pros and cons – I want to see if I guess which one you picked.”

Even though we were a little hesitant and no one else seemed to share Mary’s excitement, despite wanting to know, Zach insisted that we all head into the living room to ‘get comfortable’. Mary started to protest but he wouldn’t listen. “You haven’t stopped since you’ve come back from your mom’s and, knowing you, you didn’t stop while you were there either. I want you to head into the living room, put your feet up and relax.”

****

“I don’t know what you want us to tell you Mary.” I was becoming more and more frustrated with every minute that passed. My whole family cleared out of the dining room almost an hour before to relax in the living room and in that time, Jordan and I tried to tell everyone how our house hunting went but Mary kept interrupting, asking us to explain it more like the TV show she apparently was hooked on.

“Just walk us through the main points of each house - number of rooms, where they were located, size – you know. Then, when you told us the basics, we’ll review the pros and cons and then you’ll let me guess which one you picked.” She seemed so excited about whole idea but everyone else appeared to wish they were elsewhere.

I glanced at Zach; he shrugged and motioned for me to go along with her. “Ok,” I said slowly as I tried to gather my thoughts and present the first house – again – in a way that would make her happy. “The first house, the one that we found while scoping out the one Josh told me about, was a 5 bedroom, 2 bath, 1120 sqft bungalow built in the 70s.”

Pausing briefly, I smiled at Jordy as his hand closed over mine. “It needs some work,” I admitted. “The outside doesn’t look like it’s changed much since it was built besides new coats of paint over the years.”

“But,” Jordan jumped in. “It seemed to be in good repair.”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Besides needing an update out front, it appeared to be pretty solid.”

Clearing his throat, Chad took all attention away from us. “Appearances can be deceiving; you’ll have to get an inspector in to look it over before you buy.”

Jordan nodded in agreement. “We were hoping that you knew someone.”

Chad told us that he did and he would have him call us as soon as possible, “Since you did choose a house, right?”

“We did,” I confirmed before turning back to Mary. I explained to her how the front door opened up into a long, narrow living room with olive green walls and a huge window at the far end. “From the living room you could walk, to your right, down a hallway to the two small bedrooms and a bathroom or go through the living room to the really small dining room and kitchen.” I went on to tell her that this house also had an ‘in-law suite’ in the basement and a laundry/furnace room. “There is a detached, one car garage with some space for storage.”

“What about land size?”

“The house is on a three acre, mainly treed lot.” I told them how much they were asking and then went on to the second house.

The second house was one Wanda set up for us to view. Situated on almost two acres, the second house was the smallest in land size that we viewed. “It was awesome! And a lot newer than the first house.” Jordan exclaimed, cutting me off, effectively taking over the description of the second house. “We drove up a tree lined driveway towards a huge house with a three car garage attached. Once again, when we walked through the double front doors, we entered the living room. The living room was a half decent size, with hardwood floors, a huge window facing the front yard.”

He told them about the stairs at the far end of the living room that went down into the basement where there were two large, separate rooms that Wanda said were the downstairs living room and a games room. “There were two large sized bedrooms there as well.”

“Upstairs, off the living room, the kitchen had amazing cabinetry –“

“The kitchen was awesome!” It was my turn to cut him off. “Oh my God, I couldn’t believe it. The kitchen was so spacious, with dark cabinets, and black appliances that just made my day. But,” I sighed. “The dining area wasn’t as big as I hoped, given the size of the house.”

“It’s not that small,” Jordan insisted. “Besides, who cares, just off the dining area, there are doors leading out onto a covered, enclosed back deck that overlooked the large back yard.” Grinning, he told my family that there was a fire pit. “Made me wish for summer and barbeques.”

“Sounds like a nice house,” Susan commented. “What about the last house? The one that Josh told you about a few days ago.”

The third house was situated on a 5 acre lot about 10 minutes from town and approximately 5 minutes from Zach’s house. “The house is owned by friends of friends of Josh’s parents, they are older and their kids have all grown up so they no longer see the need for the four bedroom, three bathroom house renovated within the last ten years.”

“When she says renovated, she’s not doing it justice – it looks like a brand new house!”

“Wow,” I laughed as I watched his face light up. “All this talk of houses and you are like a kid at Christmas Jordy.”

“Can you blame me Babe? Today, we found the house that will be our home.”

“Tell us about the third house,” Mary urged. “So we can guess which one you two picked.”

“Ok.” I paused, trying to recall where I left off. “So, the house has been renovated – very nicely I nice admit. The front door, instead of leading into the living room, like the rest, it opened to reveal a stair case, a closet and two other doors. One door, the one of the right of the entrance, led into a two car garage. The door across from the front door and to the right of the stairs led to stairs to the finished basement.”

“The basement,” Jordan jumped in. “Contained a bedroom, bathroom, under stair storage, laundry room, furnace room and a playroom.”

“Up the main stairs,” I picked up when Jordan stopped. “To the right was a huge open living room that overlooked the front yard. To the left was a fair sized living room with French doors that opened onto a deck that ran the front of the left side of the house, ending under the kitchen window at the end. The kitchen itself was just as amazing as the second house, if not more. It boasted of maple cabinets and granite countertops with a matching island in the middle. The fridge, stove, built in microwave and dishwasher were all black – and we all know how much I love that!”

Jordan chuckled, “And lucky you, two of the three houses had black appliances.”

“I know!” I exclaimed. “How cool was that?”

“Very,” he replied. Turning to everyone, he told them he had to damn near drag me out of both kitchens to see the rest of the house. “The rest of the floor consisted of two regular sized bedrooms, a main bathroom and the master bedroom.”

Having described all three houses, we sat back and watched Mary recap all three houses and then she asked us what we thought were pros and cons of all houses. So we told her.

“House #1 was in need of many repairs and most of the rooms were smaller than we really hoped but it does have potential and we could work on it together – make it what we want. Plus the price tag was really low so we’d have no problem buying it and doing the renovations that we feel it needs.”

“House #2 was awesome and move in ready. We didn’t have much that we would change or want to change but it was further from town than we really wanted and the price tag was the highest of all three.”

“House #3 was just as awesome as the second house but still a little pricey.”

“But,” Jordan added as he stared across the room at Zach. “It’s way too close to family, they would be over all the time!”

Zack snorted. “More likely you two would be here all the time!”

“Whatever,” I laughed as Mary shushed us all.

“I’m thinking here.”

****

It was very late when Jordan and I said ‘good night’ to Zach and Mary. “We should’ve left earlier,” he commented as he jumped into his seat after securing Jenna into her car seat.

“Yeah,” I sighed as I stared out the windshield at the blanket of new snow that had fallen with the last couple hours. “Zach did say we could spend the night here, if you weren’t up to driving home.”

“We should be able to get home Anna; it’s not that bad out.”

I didn’t agree with him but since he was the driving, I didn’t want to argue or take his attention away from the highway. Thankfully, it only took him a couple kilometres to admit to himself that it wasn’t such a great idea to be driving around in the snowstorm. “It’s crazy for us to bother driving home,” he told me. “Zach did say that Jenna and I were welcome to stay.”

Relief washed over me when he slowed down and turned his truck around. “I’m too tired to drive anymore, anyway.”

Whatever reasons he gave, I didn’t care, all I cared about was getting back to Zach’s where it was warm and cozy. And my bed! It may have seemed strange but I was excited about the prospect of sleeping in my bed again, it was the most comfortable bed I’d ever been in – I was hoping to talk Jordan into using my bed when we moved, instead of his. It seemed that Jordan shared that same thought, for he told me that he couldn’t wait to go to bed. “We haven’t been in your bed together since we started our relationship.”

Ready. Set. Hunt.

Saturday morning, despite going to bed really late the night before, Jordan was wide awake at 6am and he didn’t leave me alone until I was as well. “Why?” I groaned as I buried my face against his chest. “It’s Saturday, why can’t we sleep in, just a little? Please Jordy?”

“Come on!” He poked me in the ribs, chuckling when I batted his hand away and whined my displeasure. “It’s a beautiful day, the…” he trailed off and I felt him move away for a moment. “Well, it’s still dark outside but I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful day once the sun appears. And you know what today is?”

Groaning, I rolled away from him. “The day I leave you for depriving me of my beauty sleep?”

He laughed. “No, it’s House Hunting day! And we also get to pack more and have dinner with your family.” Sliding across the bed towards me, he cradled my body with his. “Leaving me isn’t on the agenda today, especially not when you begged for my earth moving demonstration last night.”

“I never beg.” I mumbled. “Besides, a gentleman would never bring it up, if I did.”

“What makes you think I’m a gentleman?”

“My next boyfriend will be.”

With a chuckle, Jordan told me that was good news. “It won’t last though. You’d be bored and begging me to take you back.”

“You are very lucky I love you Jordy.”

He never uttered a word as he crawled over me and came to rest before me. I thought he was going to let me sleep so I let my eyes fluttered closed and I was ready to drift off into dreamland when I felt his fingers brush my cheek. “Jordy…” I reached for him.

“I knew you wanted me,” he whispered as he engulfed me in his arms.

****

“Jenna. Oh Jenna! Where are you?” Jordan’s excitement hadn’t worn off all morning. It was a little annoying but on the plus side, he did finish what he set out to do in no time at all. Now he was sitting in Jenna’s room, looking around frantically for her as she giggled uncontrollably underneath her favourite blanket. “Anna? Babe, have you seen Jenna? She was just here!”

“I don’t know,” I pretended to be just as concerned as he was as I stood in the doorway watching the two of them. “She didn’t come out here.”

“She couldn’t have just disappeared,” he frowned. “Could she?”

I smiled, “Jordy I think –”

“Peeboo!” Jenna threw down her blanket and laughed. “Peeboo Dada!”

“Jenna!” Jordan gasped in fake surprise. “There you are! Daddy thought you ran away!” He went to reach for her but she threw the blanket over her head again. “Oh no!” Jordan exclaimed. “Where did Jenna go now?”

Once again, the blanket flew down and Jenna giggled, “Peeboo!”

“Peek-a-boo!” Jordan exclaimed as he grabbed her sides and started to tickle her until she fell backwards in a fit of giggles. “Daddy’s got you now!” He laughed as he collapsed next to her, lifting her into the air as he rolled onto his back. “You are Daddy’s little girl, aren’t you J-Roll?”

Jenna, in response, covered her eyes and quickly uncovered them.

“Peek-a-boo!”

“Peeboo!”

Jordan and Jenna exclaimed at the same time and then collapsed into yet another fit of laughter, together.

I stood in the doorway and watched them bond. It was nothing if not heart warming to watch but I had to break it up, Jordan needed to shower before we headed out to view houses. “Jordy?” I walked into the room and they both turned to stare at me. “I hate to break up your playtime but aren’t you going to shower?”

“Yeah…” He trailed off. “Did you shower already?”

“Not yet.”

“Well then,” he gave me a smile and told me to get on it. “I’ll take one after you.”

“Ok,” I shrugged as I headed for the bathroom. I wasn’t about to remind him that he took longer to get ready than I did, that’s why I asked him about the shower.

I had only been in the shower for maybe two minutes when the shower curtain drew back and Jordan appeared in front of me. “What are you doing? Where’s Jenna?”

A smile spread across his face as he gazed at me naked before him. “I need to shower,” he replied innocently as he reached for me.

“But…but…” All thought left my mind momentarily as his lips trailed along my collarbone. My eyes drifted shut and I felt all the usual emotions start to twirl around inside me whenever his lips touched my skin. It was heaven and I was seriously getting lost in it.

“Peeboo Dada!”

“Jordan!” I squealed as I pushed him away and tried to cover myself from Jenna’s innocent eyes. “What is she doing there?”

“What?” He chuckled as he turned to kneel down and lean over the edge of the tub to where Jenna stood. “Hey J-Roll, did you pee?” He leaned further out and shook his head. “You didn’t! I thought you said you needed to go potty?” He gave her a stern look and she pouted. “Don’t give me that look,” he spoke sternly but softly. “I want you to sit on the potty until you pee. OK?”

Jenna stared up at him like he just told her Dora was just a cartoon. Her tiny bottom lip trembled and I know that she never heard him talk like that before; at least, not directed at her.

“OK Jenna?”

She shyly glanced my way before turning suddenly and disappearing beyond the curtain.

“That’s it,” Jordan grinned. “Daddy loves you Jenna.”

When Jordan returned to me, he tried to take me in his arms but I slapped his hands away. “How can you? With Jenna…?” I motioned towards the curtain.

“What?” He looked so confused. “Jenna had to potty, I had to shower. What did you want me to do? Leave her out in the living room where she could get into all sorts of trouble?”

“You could’ve waited,” I told him. “You could’ve waited until after I showered so I could keep an eye on her while you showered.”

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’m the first parent to ever think of showering when his kid is in the room.” He paused briefly. “What do you think most single parents do? Wait until their child is asleep to use the bathroom?”

“It’s just…”

“Anna,” he grasped my hands and pulled me to him. “It’s not like I didn’t think this through. Jenna isn’t going to be scarred for life.”

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

Jordan grinned, “Well….”

With a gasp, I lifted my hand and hit his arm. “Jerk!”

****

When Jordan strapped Jenna into her car seat mid afternoon, she made no bones about not wanting to be locked down. Kicking and screaming there was nothing Jordan could do calm her down. His pleas when unheard and his feeble attempt at bribing didn’t even cause her to halt her actions, not even for a moment. Jenna wasn’t feeling great and she wanted the entire world to know.

“It’s going to be a long and difficult day,” Jordan stated when he jumped into the seat next to me. “I just hope we make it through with our sanity still intact!”

Happiness

Jordan was panicking. Two weeks may have seemed like a lot of time to pack and move but from where he was standing it wasn’t, especially since it was actually 10 days, not 14. “I work 11 hours a day,” he told me as I went back to sorting through the piles of stuff in his spare bedroom. “And with Jenna being here, I figure that I may only have a couple hours to pack and clean.”

“Well, Jordan, we’ll have to make those couple hours matter.”

“Yeah,” he dropped into a pile of clothes next to me. “Are you ok with that?”

I shot him a confused look. “Ok with what?”

“Not having real time with me for the next little while?” Glancing around the room, he sighed. “There is so much to do here Anna, if I’m spending all my free time packing and cleaning for the next 10 days, I won’t have time to look at houses or….” He trailed off as his eyes drifted over me.

Chuckling, I told him that he’d find time for the stuff that matters. “You don’t need to sleep, right?”

“Right,” he laughed but there was a sparkle in his eyes as he told me that sleep was highly overrated anyway. “I guess it’ll all work out.”

“Of course it will,” I insisted as I pushed him backwards into the clothes and curled up at his side. “You have me to help you.”

“Lucky me,” he murmured against my temple as he squeezed me tight.

Despite telling me that he wouldn’t have time to do anything but work and pack, Jordan insisted that we take a run out to the house Josh told me about to see if it appeared to be something we would be interested in viewing. “It just makes sense,” he told me as we stood in the lobby of KFC waiting for our order of hot wings, poutine and a drum kid’s meal for Jenna. “If we take a run out there and don’t like what we see, we don’t have to waste our time actually going inside.”

It was almost 8pm when we finished eating and headed out to take a drive into the country to do a visual on the house. “Damn,” Jordan cursed. “I feel like a horrible dad.” Turning in my seat, I watched as he latched Jenna in - she gave a couple huge yawns, signalling to him that she would rather be tucked into her warm bed at that moment, not strapped into a car seat for the third time in an hour.

Once Jenna was strapped into her seat, Jordan covered her up with her blanket and handed Dora to her. “Did I tell you Zack stopped by the shop today?” He asked me before giving her a kiss on the forehead. “He brought his car in for a flat repair and I just happened to be out front.”

“No,” I replied. “You didn’t mention it.” He pulled out of the back and closed the door as I asked how Zack was doing.

“Missing Mary a lot from the sounds of it,” he informed me as he took his seat next to me. “Apparently, she’s missing the girls and him; she’s coming home Friday.” He went on to tell me that Zack asked how Jenna was and what I was up to. With a grin, Jordan glanced my way. “I told him you were up to no good.”

I laughed, “Figures, I am spending time with you.”

“Hey!” His grin disappeared as he faked hurt. “That’s what Zack said!”

“See?” I reached out to pinch his cheek. “Even Zack knows you are trouble.”

“HA!” He shook his head. “I believe, Babe, you are the one who’s trouble.”

“Yeah…” I let my hand drop to his lap before I leaned across the center arm rest, my hand slipping up his thigh. “And we both know you love trouble.”

“Damn rights!” He confirmed with a groan as our lips met in the darkness.

****

“Did you see that sign?” Jordan eased the breaks as he shot a look over his shoulder. “Did you get that number?” He squinted for a second before shaking his head. “I can’t make it out. Hold on,” he slipped the truck into reverse and pressed the gas a little harder than he should have – the tires just spun in the snow for a moment before the back end started to slide sideways. “Damnit!” He cursed as he released the gas and shifted into drive. “I’ll just find a place to turn around,” he informed me. “Keep watch for a good place.”

It was snowing and dark, unless he was going to crawl along, I probably wouldn’t see anything faster than he would. We ended up having to drive a couple minutes before we were able to turn around. “This area is not too far but just far enough out of town,” he stated as we waited for the on coming car to pass so we could make our turn. “And it’s not right on the highway, so traffic shouldn’t be too bad.”

I nodded.

“I hope the house Josh told you about is as nice on the inside as it seemed from the outside.” Pulling out onto the road again, he told me that he was against looking at the house at first because Josh mentioned it but now, he was excited to see it. “And maybe,” he eased on the breaks as the ‘for sale by owner’ sign came into sight. “This house will be something special too and we’ll have two to choose from.”

Smiling, I told him that sounded awesome. “I really like this area, it feels so peaceful and…” Trailing off, I turned to look at Jordan. “I think our home is around here somewhere.” Then, with a frown, I asked him if that sounded crazy.

“Not at all,” he assured me as he wrote down the phone number on the sign. Once he finished, he handed me the paper and asked if I could call the owners the next day. “We should try to set it up to view both houses on the same day.” Pausing briefly, he told me that Saturday would be a good day, ‘since we’d be in the area already’.

“What do you mean?”

He shot me a funny look. “Dinner?” He stated but I still didn’t know what he was talking about. “With Zack and the family?”

“When?”

“Saturday evening Anna,” he sounded a little frustrated. “I told you earlier, he asked me if we had plans when he stopped by the shop with his car. He said that he wanted to have a family dinner; Chad, Susan and the kids will be there as well.”

“You didn’t tell me,” I informed him. “You told me Zack stopped by and that he asked what Jenna and I were up to but nothing about dinner with them.”

He started to say something but stopped short and gave me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry Babe, I thought I mentioned it.” With a slight chuckle, he continued, telling me that Zack seemed really excited about the prospect of having everyone at the house.

“Really?” Jordan nodded as he steered his truck back onto the road. “Hmmm, I wonder what he’s up to.”

With a shrug, Jordan told me that he guessed we’ll have to wait to find out. “Now,” he smiled. “Are you ready to go home, put Jenna to bed and start packing?”

“Oh Jordan,” I pressed my hand against my heart and gazed up adoringly at him. “You know how to make a girl feel special.”

****

The rest of the week flew by. I remember calling the owners of the houses we were interested in viewing to set up a meeting on Saturday and I know Wanda called us to let us know that she had another house, in the country, for us to check out. “I’m certain this one is the one,” she told Jordan.

Also, I know that Jordan and I managed to pack the entire spare bedroom – sacrificing hours of sleep in the mean time but just with the way our schedules were, there wasn’t much choice.

“I can’t wait to get out of here,” Jordan told me late Friday night when we finally made it to bed. “This house had served me well for the last few years but I’m ready to move on to better things.”

His hand slipped around my waist and I sighed happily as I waited until he fitted his body tightly against my back before asking, “Better things?”

“Yeah,” he pressed his lips against the back of my neck. “Trading in and up.”

“What do you mean Jordy?”

“Well, I never thought I would sell this house. When I bought it, I figured I would end up living out my entire life here, alone. I never planned on settling down, let alone being in a committed relationship. I always thought I would be a bachelor for life.”

“Oh,” I glanced over my shoulder. “I thought you…” Looking away, I shook my head, it didn’t matter that his words hurt a little. I was under the impression that he loved me for a long time, but yet he was saying he never planned on settling down.

His arm tightened around me. “What did you think Babe?”

Once again, I shook my head. “It’s nothing honey.”

“I don’t believe you,” he whispered against my shoulder as he moved up to gazed down at me. “I feel the tension in your body – tension that wasn’t there a moment ago. So, tell me what thought just crossed your mind.”

Turning slightly, I told him I was just a little confused. “You never planned on settling down?”

“No,” he replied firmly. “I never planned on settling down. Do you know why Anna?”

I shook my head; I didn’t even have a guess as to why.

He didn’t speak right away; he studied my face as his hand travelled down my arm and side before coming to rest on my hip. “I never thought I had a chance Anna.” His eyes locked on mine, “You were my best friend and I loved you more than I ever loved anyone but it never seemed like it would happen.” He chuckled softly, “Even now, as I hold you – when I make love to you – I can’t believe this is real. It’s so…crazy. I never planned on settling down because I never thought you would love me back.”

It was my turn to study him. “You’ve known that I had feelings for you, how could you not think there was a chance?”

A slight shrug was his only reply.

“Jordy…” I rolled towards him and slipped my hand around his shoulder.

“I know,” he dropped to the bed and gave me a half smile. “Logic tells me I had a chance. Hell everyone told me I had a chance. I was just too stupid and scared of losing you forever, to see it. I needed you as my best friend and I wanted you as my girl – it was hard for me to figure out a way to let you know without losing everything.”

“Well,” I grinned as I wiggled against him in an effort to get closer. “Looks like you managed to find a way to get everything you wanted.”

“I did,” his smile widened as he gently rolled me onto my back. “I managed to get everything I ever needed and now, I’m doing everything I can to keep it going.”

“Trading in and up?”

“Yes, in and up.” He brushed his lips against my cheek. “Trading my ‘bachelor’ life for a committed, long term relationship with a woman I would move heaven and earth for.”

A smile spread across my face and my brow arched, “Heaven and earth, eh?”

“Yeah, heaven and earth.”

As I pressed my lips against his bare chest, I told him I wouldn’t mind if he felt the desire to demonstrate his methods of moving heaven and earth.

“Your wish is my command Babe.”

One Road

It was already dark by the time Jordan came home from work that night. Tired and just wanting to shower and get something to eat, he didn’t really want to talk about anything, especially anything that had to do with Joshua Baker. I tried to talk to him about his day – I asked him what was wrong – but he told me everything was fine.

I didn’t believe him but I had house on my mind so I just wanted to talk about it since he wasn’t in the mood to do any talking. “So guess what?” I said cheerfully as I checked on the stew I had been keeping on warm until he got home. Jordan didn’t reply but a quick glance over my shoulder told me he was listening, barely, as he stood by the fridge drinking a glass of chocolate milk. “After practice today, Josh wanted to talk to me. At first I didn’t –”

“Anna, can’t this wait?”

“Well…” I hesitated but nodded. “It can but I just want to tell you –”

“If it can wait, then it can wait.”

“But Jordan, I –”

“Anna!”

After snapping at me numerous times for trying to bring up the conversation with Josh, I had enough of his pissy mood. “Find me when you aren’t such an ass,” I snapped at him before stomping out of the kitchen.

This house is too freakin’ small! I thought when I left the kitchen in a huff. There’s nowhere to go to blow off steam!

As I stomped down the hallway towards my old room, I heard Jenna’s little feet running on the floor behind me. “Ahh-naa-naa,” she called as she ran. “Wey Ahh-naa-naa, wey!” It was very difficult to continue my angry stomp down the hall.

I stopped, waited for her to get to me and then I knelt in front of her. “Hey Sweetie Pie, what do you have there?” Her eyes widened in childlike wonder as she held the sheet of construction paper she had been drawing on since we got home from school. “Oh! Wow!” I stared down at the multiple, multi-color circles she had drawn all over the paper. “That’s so pretty Jenna.” Handing the page back to her, I gave her a hug and suggested that she go show her daddy. “I bet he’ll want to hang it on the fridge.”

When Jenna ran to show Jordan, I continued down the hall, although, I wasn’t quite so pissed off. I ended up in my old room, a room that now consisted mainly of broken down boxes I picked up for Jordan to pack and other junk that migrated into the room over the last few months.

After moving some stuff around, I settled onto the carpet with a roll of tape and utility knife in my hand, intent on taping together some of the boxes so I could clean out that room. I’m not sure how long I was barred in the spare room before I heard the door open. I knew I should acknowledge him but I really didn’t wish to argue again, so I continued sorting through the pile of old clothes in front of me.

“Do you remember when you bought me that t-shirt?” He asked as I held up a ratty Bon Jovi t-shirt that had certainly seen better days.

“You swore up and down, you would never ever wear a non metal band shirt.”

“True,” he came further into the room. “I did say that but didn’t I wear it?” He plopped down next to me. “Hmm?”

“Yeah,” I agreed, not taking my eyes off the shirt. “Only because I got upset and cried.”

Slipping his arm around my stiff shoulders, he leaned into me. “I hate when I upset you, I never feel right.”

“Yeah…” I tossed the shirt into a trash pile while shrugging his arm off my shoulder. “What’s Jenna doing? She’s awful quiet.”

“Drawing you a picture.”

Nodding, I pushed off the floor and wandered over to another pile of stuff in the far corner. “She doesn’t have to do that.”

“No,” he followed me. “She doesn’t have to but she wants to because she loves you, just like I do.”

“Jordan…” I sighed as I turned to face him. “I know you love me, just like you know I love you with all my heart but –”

“Some times I’m an ass?”

I chuckled softly, my hand slipping over his chest. “Did I ever tell you that I over react?”

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he looked surprised. “Over react? You?” He shook his head. “No way Babe, you don’t over react at all.”

“Oh shush.” I lifted my face towards his and waited until he lowered his to kiss him. “I’m so sorry, you obviously weren’t having a great day and I didn’t…” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to keep pushing; I was just excited about the house Josh told me about. That’s all.”

“House?” Jordan frowned. “What house?”

“The one he wouldn’t let me leave the school without tell me about.” My eyes widened as I told Jordan it sounded like something we were looking for. “He told me that a friend of his in real estate told him about the house – it’s not yet listed with a company but the current owner had been talking to his friend about listing the house.”

“And Josh just knew it was what we were looking for?”

“Well…” I chewed nervously on my bottom lip.

Jordan sighed, glancing away for a moment. “When you two were together, you talked about houses, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, something like that.” Jordan asked me how that worked. “I tried to talk about a house that I would love to live in someday but he never really did give much.” I shrugged. “He always talked about the future but never anything real. You know?”

“I hope you never feel that way with me Anna.” His arms tightened around me as he held me against his chest. “I want…” He sighed. “Do you know why I was in such a mood when I got home?”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Wanda called me, the couple that want to buy this house, want to move in before the end of the month – it’s a deal breaker if they can’t.”

“What?!?!”

He groaned. “I have to pack, move and clean everything in less than two weeks!”

All Sorts Of Trouble

At the end of Wednesday’s show rehearsal, Josh asked me if I had a few minutes. Jenna, who seemed to be coming down with a cold, was cranky and whiny so I told him I really didn’t think it would be a good time. “Maybe on Friday,” I threw over my shoulder as I tried to wrestle Jenna into the boots she decided she wasn’t wearing anymore.

“It won’t take long,” he insisted. “I just had something to tell you that I believe you’ll want to hear.”

Jenna kicked at me, catching my finger just enough to bend it backwards. I bit my lip in effort to stop from crying out in pain but, to tell the truth, I think yelling would’ve made me feel a whole lot better. “I’m busy Josh,” I hissed through clenched teeth.

Sitting in the chair next to the moody little brat – I mean girl – Josh held out his hand to me. “Give it here.” When I handed it over, he wrapped his free arm around Jenna and even though she fought him a little, he continued to talk softly to her until she sat back and held up her feet and her hand, which she reached towards his face.

My eyes widened. I slowly turned towards him, a shocked expression on my face. “How…?” I trailed off as Jenna let him slide her boots on her feet.

“Practice.” A weary smile appeared on his face. “Jesse could test the patience of a saint when he wanted. And trust me, he wanted, a lot.”

Just as I went to tell him that I didn’t believe Jesse was capable of testing anyone’s patience because he was such a cute little boy, Cassie came over and asked for the keys to my car. “It’s really cold,” she told me but one glance over her shoulder told me that her desire to start my car wasn’t to warm it up – Todd was heading towards the exit with his guitar in hand.

With a smile, I handed over my keys and told her that I would appreciate it if she loaded all Jenna’s and my stuff in the car while she was at it. She sighed, said fine and then sarcastically asked me if there was anything else I would like. “Sure,” I motioned towards Jenna. “You can take her out and strap her in as well.”

Grumbling, Cassie grabbed my bag and Jenna’s toys. “I’ll be back for the rug rat.”

I waited until she was halfway to the door, where Todd had stopped to talk to his drummer, before calling out her name. “Was Ben coming home this weekend?” When I called out Cassie’s name, Todd glanced her way and smile slightly but the moment I mentioned Ben, his smile disappeared and he seemed disappointed.

Flipping her hair, she turned around causally but she really was upset. “Yes, he is.”

“Great,” I grinned. “Jordan was asking how he was doing just the other day – he wants to have you both for a movie or something.”

A sudden flood of light alerted us to someone leaving the building, it was Todd. “Thanks a lot Aunt Anna!” Cassie snapped before stomping off.

The door slammed open for the second time and beside me Josh chuckled. “You are such a troublemaker.”

As innocently as I could, I told him I wasn’t. “Jordan did ask about Ben the other night.”

“Uh-huh,” he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned down at me. “And you suddenly had to shout that out across the room?”

Nodding, I slipped my hands under Jenna’s arms and lifted her into my arms. “You believe she really wanted to start my car?” I asked him. “You don’t believe she was following Todd out?”

“So what if she was?”

“She’s seeing someone.”

“So?” He raised a brow. “To quote you, she ‘can hang out with other men without betraying anyone’.”

Rolling my eyes, I told him that it was none of his business. “No Anna, it’s none of your business. Cassie is a smart young woman and she is capable of making decisions without you butting in to tell her she is wrong.”

“Oh shut up.” I turned away from him.

He laughed. “Why?” His hand slipped around my arm and he held me in place until he came around to stand in front of me. “Because you know I’m right? That it’s none of your business and you need to butt out.”

“Just…” I waved my free hand in his direction, wishing he would just go away. “Don’t.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t disappear. “Cassie is old enough to make her own decisions Anna. She doesn’t need you to babysit her.”

“Josh!” I glared at him. “You do not need to tell me that. I know she’s old enough to make her own decisions but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop her from doing something she’d regret.”

“Regret?” He told me I was unbelievable. “How do you know she’s going to do something? She’s a people person Anna, much like you. So what does it matter if she wanted to follow Todd outside and talk? You, of all people, should be fine with this.”

“I’m her aunt Josh. I love her and –”

“You can’t let her live her own life.”

Rolling my eyes, I told him I was going home.

“Oh!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me just a little closer. “That reminds me; I wanted to talk to you.”

“Can it wait?”

As his smile disappeared, his shoulders slumped a little. “It could,” he replied slowly. “But I would rather tell you now.”

Glancing around the room, I realized that, besides Jenna, Josh and I were the only ones still there. “I really have to go. Jenna and I have a few things to do before Jordan gets home from work.”

“Right.” He nodded but it looked like he wanted to say a whole lot more – and none of it good. He surprised me though; he asked me how Jordan was doing with being a full time dad while Heather was away.

My attention went to Jenna as she rested against my chest, her Dora doll in a death grip in one arm as her other hand balled up in a fist around a handful of my shirt. Gone was the cranky little girl and I couldn’t be happier; I loved it when she wanted to cling to me like that. It always made me feel so special.

I felt so emotional when I said, “It’s going to be so hard when Heather comes back.” Clearing my throat, I turned my eyes back to Josh. “I don’t know how Jordan is going to handle it.”

I knew he understood, he had been through it so many times. “It’ll break your heart Anna but there is some comfort in knowing that she’ll be back again soon.”

“Yeah,” I kissed the top of Jenna’s blond head. “He’s so happy he got this time with her and so am I.”

“I had Jesse for an extra day this weekend because of the holiday,” he told me. “He got so excited about the extra day, he actually cried!” Josh spoke non stop for a few minutes about his weekend with Jesse, then, out of the blue, he inquired about our house hunting. “Have you found a place yet?”

Shaking my head, I told him that we were having a few problems finding the perfect place. “Every house so far is just that – a house. None of them feel like home and we can’t see ourselves living there.” He nodded as I continued. “But we are confident that we’ll find it.”

We talked about a little of what Jordan and I were looking for and it surprised me how interested he was. It also surprised me how easily I talked about Jordan and our future with Josh considering that not even a few weeks ago, he was being an ass about my relationship with Jordan.

And if being able to talk sensibly with Josh about my relationship and future with someone other than him was a surprise, the words that came out of his mouth the minute I stopped gushing about Jordan and my dream house classified as heart attack material.

“You will find it,” he stated confidently. “And I know where it is.”

Sharing Pain

The restaurant was nearly deserted which wasn’t really surprising since it was the middle of the afternoon on a holiday Monday. The waitress was no where to be seen as I stood in front of the ‘Please Wait to be Seated’ sign, neither was the person I was meeting. As I waited for the waitress to come over, I wondered why I was summoned out and why Jordan’s presence wasn’t requested.

“Hello there, table for one?” The waitress asked as she headed towards the side counter where the menus were waiting. She pulled out one and then went back for the second one when I told her that I was expecting another. Following her through the first few smaller booths designed for one or two people, I hoped that whatever I was needed for, it wasn’t bad news.

“I don’t understand why I can’t go,” Jordan whined when I was getting ready to head to the restaurant. “Why does he want to see you?”

“I don’t know Jordy,” I turned to him. “I don’t know what he wants, I don’t know why he wants to talk to me, and I don’t know why he doesn’t want to talk to you. All I know is that I have to be at the restaurant in less than a half hour and you can’t go!”

“Oh!” He held his hands up and backed away from me, a smile playing on his lips. “Now the gloves come off, don’t they? You get a call to have a secret meeting with someone and suddenly it’s all ‘I’m better than you, look at who’d rather talk to me’.”

I laughed. “Fool.” I shook my head and turned back to the mirror, checking to make sure I looked alright. “I don’t think I’m better than you nor do I have a secret meeting with him. I told you about it!”

“Details,” he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I know,” I met his eyes in the mirror. “You are worried, but trust me Honey, it’ll be alright.”

“I’ll have a glass of water, thank you.” The waitress smiled, laid down the menus and nodded before walking away. Me, I thought more about the phone call and tried to remember how he sounded, if there was some desperation in his voice, or something that would give me cause to worry but he sounded like he normally did.

A bell chimed at the front of the restaurant, I looked up from the menu and smiled as he made his way towards me. “Hey,” I slid out of the booth and held out my arms, waiting for him to come close enough to give him a hug. “How are you?”

Squeezing me tight, he planted a kiss on my cheek. “I’m alright,” he replied but it really didn’t sound like he was. “Sit,” he motioned towards the booth and waited until I moved before he unzipped his jacket and took his seat across from me. “You look amazing; my brother is a lucky guy.”

I laughed. “That he is Nicky, I tell him so every single day.”

“Good,” Nick grinned. “Although, I don’t think he’s likely to forget it. He’s happier now than he’s ever been.” His smile faded slightly as he said, “Lucky him.”

The waitress came over to get Nick’s drink order so I had to wait a few seconds to ask Nick if everything was ok.

Instead of replying right away, he leaned forward and rested his chin on his folded hands. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking as he stared at me but for the first time ever, he was actually making me a tiny bit nervous.

“Were you ready to order?” The waitress asked as she placed Nick’s pop on the table. “Or did you need a few more minutes?”

Nick tilted his head, gave her a smile. “I’m ready.” After I voiced my readiness as well, he ordered burger and fries.

When the waitress disappeared again, Nick leaned back and slumped in the booth. “I know you are probably wondering why I made a big deal about seeing you without Jordan being around.”
I nodded. “I didn’t expect you to call and tell me that you needed me.”

“I know, I haven’t done that since we were still in school.”

Just mentioning that moment made my heart almost stopped and my jaw dropped. “Nick…” I shook my head, I wasn’t sure I could handle what he had to say next, not if he was referencing the time that Amy broke his heart and dumped him.

“No, no,” he reached across the table and gripped my hand.

“No?”

“No…well,” he let go of my hand and sighed. “Anna I don’t know.”

“What’s going on Nick? The other night you guys seemed as happy as you’ve always been. What happened?”

“The money.”

My brow shot up. “The money your grandparents gave you? How did that change things?”

Nick asked me if I spent Jordan’s already.

“What?” I stared at him. “Why would I spend Jordan’s money? Your grandparents gave him the money, not me. Although,” I chuckled. “He said the money goes towards our dream house, if we ever find it!”

“I wish I had that kind of authority over the money.”

“What do you mean?” I paused to take a sip of my water. “What does Amy want to do with the money?”

Nick shrugged, “What doesn’t she want to do?” With another sigh, he told me that he was happy that the banks were closed today. “Otherwise she would have most of it spent already.”

“Ok,” I took a deep breath. “What do you want to do with the money?”

“I’m tired of owing money Anna, I want to pay off everything we owe and start over.” For a spilt second Nick looked happy but then the black cloud in his eyes came back. “Amy doesn’t believe that we should get that out of the way. We fought for most of the last couple days.”

“Oh Nick, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

As time wore on, Nick told me that Amy was making lists of things she wanted to buy and on the top of her list was a new car which he didn’t think they needed. “Jordan went over that car with a fine tooth comb, he assured me that everything was sound and I don’t see the point of buying a new car just because we have a little extra money. I want to get out of the hole, I want to get out of her parents’ basement and I want to finally live life the way we’ve always dreamt.” Pausing, his eyes met mine. “I want to stop being so damn jealous of my little brother.”

“Nicky –”

“Anna, no, you don’t know what it’s like. I see what Jordan has and it pisses me off. I was a third year electrician. I had every opportunity to have everything.”

“But what happened?”

“I quit.” He looked so angry. “Amy complained that I was never around and she missed me so I quit and found a job that would bring me home earlier and I’ve been miserable ever since.” There was a fire in his eyes, one I haven’t seen in years. “I’m tired of barely making ends meet Anna, I’m tired of having to check my bank balance before I buy groceries and I’m so damn tired of feeling like a loser because I gave up something I had been dreaming of since I was a boy.”

“Have you talked to Amy about this?”

He rolled his eyes. “Like she’s going to hear what I’m saying.”

“What do you mean? What else would she hear?”

“Same thing she does every time I speak – something that lands me in the doghouse!”

I had to be careful in what I said; I didn’t want to say something that would send Nick off. “I wish I could give you advice that would make everything better but I don’t have it. I don’t know what you should do, except talk to Amy and hopefully you two can make a decision about the money that will satisfy both of your hopes and dreams.”

“I wasn’t really looking to you for all the answers,” he admitted. “I just wanted someone to hear me out.” He chuckled softly. “I wanted a woman to hear me out.”

After that admission, Nick was like a whole other person, the dark cloud lifted and he started to joke around. Conversation turned from his money problems to Jordan and my quest for the perfect house. “So? What is the perfect house?” Popping a fry in his mouth, he smirked. “Car parts in every room of the house?”

“No!” I snorted. “Although Jordy did mention that a three car garage wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Back Into It

When I dropped Jenna off at Heather’s parents place they made a couple comments about being surprised that Jordan and I would need someone to look after Jenna that morning. I just brushed it off as them meaning that it was a surprise, with all the family that we both have, that we needed to call them.

“Everyone had prior commitments.”

Heather’s mom looked at me strangely but she didn’t say anything more, all her attention went to her granddaughter.

I knelt down to tell Jenna I would pick her up later and give her a hug. She gave me a ‘Jordy’ grin and proceeded to plant a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. “Have a great day with Grandma and Grandpa, ok Sweetie?” With one final squeeze, I stood and turned to Heather’s parents. “Thank you both for agreeing to care for Jenna today, Jordan and I really appreciate it.”

Heather’s parents glanced at each other and then her father told me that they were happy to do it. “Tell Jordan we are happy he called. Although we understand, we were disappointed when Heather told us she was leaving Jenna with him – we didn’t think he would allow us to see her.”

“Not allow you to see her?” I gasped. “Jordan would never do that.”

“We see that now,” he responded.

“Good.” I smiled. “Now, I have to go or I’ll be late. Have a great day; I’ll be back at 3:30 to pick her up.”

As I pulled away from the curb outside their house, I happened to glance back and caught a glimpse of movement in the living room window – Jenna was waving at me.

****

I was in a little bit of a hurry when I pulled into the parking lot at work. In the rush to get into work on time, it never clicked with me that the parking lot that normally held a good twenty or thirty cars was nearly empty. Nor did it register that the truck sitting in one of the handicap parking spaces was Jordan’s. In fact, I was in my own little world that it took Jordan running up to me and taking hold of my hand for me to even realize that anything was out of the ordinary that morning.

“Jordy!” At first I was surprised – happy – to see him but soon it changed to wondering why he was there. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“I couldn’t go to work,” he told me.

I frowned. “Why not?”

“Closed.”

“Closed?” I repeated slowly. “What do you mean closed?”

A smile started to spread across his face. “Closed, as in not open. Much like what happens when there’s a stat.”

“A stat?” I didn’t know what he was going on with at first but suddenly, as if my brain finally woke up, it sunk in and I felt like a fool. “The Remembrance Day Stat! We don’t work today!” I slapped myself in the forehead. “That’s why Heather’s parents were so surprised that we wanted them to babysit Jenna today!”

As I lowered my hand, Jordan reached out, catching my hand in his. “You know what this means Babe?” He took a step towards me, a mischievous grin on his handsome face. “We –” Slipping my hand around his waist, he lowered his head until his forehead was resting against mine. “We get to spend some quality time together.”

It was a great idea since we barely had time during the week to spend together but I was a little confused. “What about Jenna?” I asked. “Don’t you want to go and pick her up?”

He nodded slowly, “I do.”

“Oh, then how…?” I motioned back and forth between the two of us.

He didn’t respond right away, instead, he lifted his head enough to plant a kiss on my forehead. “I want to pick her up right now but I also want to take you somewhere and….” The mischievous grin was back.

“Ok,” I chuckled. “So do you want me to meet you at home or…?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Meet me at home and we’ll go from there.”

****

Even though Jordan and I left my work at the same time, I managed to arrive to his place before he did. In fact, I went into the house, used the bathroom, changed my clothes and did a quick, simple make up job and was sitting at the kitchen table, wondering where he went, when he finally came through the front door.

“What happened to you?” I asked as he came around the table and kissed my cheek before he sat down next to me.

“Sorry Babe,” he plopped a cloth shopping bag on the table in front of him. “I just had to make a couple stops.”

“You went to see Jenna, didn’t you?” I grinned when he nodded a little guiltily. “Was she excited to see you?” Gasping, my eyes widened, “I bet she just ran to you.”

“I did, I just wanted to see how Jenna was doing.” He confessed that he felt really guilty about leaving Jenna there when he wasn’t working. “But Heather’s parents looked so crushed when I showed up and I know what they were feeling – I feel it every time I have to give Jenna back – I just couldn’t and that didn’t make Jenna happy.” His voice cracked a little. “I made my little girl cry Anna. I made her cry.”

“She’ll be alright Jordan. When we pick her up later, she won’t even remember that you didn’t take her with you this time, all she’ll be thinking is, ‘my daddy is here’ and ‘he’s the best’.”

Jordan snorted. “I don’t think she’ll be thinking I’m the best Anna.”

“No?” I scooted out my chair to sit on his lap. “She does think you are the best Jordy, if she didn’t, it wouldn’t matter that you didn’t take her with you. Jenna loves you.”

Resting his chin on my shoulder, he told me that I was the best. “I love you.”

****

With Jenna at her grandparents’ house, Jordan, after spending a good hour and a half on the couch snuggling and chatting with me, asked if I wanted to go for a drive. “It’s a beautiful day,” he stated when I moaned my distaste for leaving the couch. “We can look for houses,” he tried to persuade me.

I knew that it would be a great time to look but I didn’t really want to get up.

“Anna, come on.” He started to playfully poke me in the sides. “Our dream house isn’t going to come knocking on our door. We have to go out and find it.”

Pouting, I told him I knew. “But,” squeezing him tightly, I asked if I could have another half hour of cuddling before we went out in the cold, sunny November morning.

He gave in, some what reluctantly. “It’s not that I don’t want to cuddle, just so you know Babe.”

“I know,” I smirked. “You can’t get enough of me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Pushing me away, Jordan shoved off the couch.

“Wait, what…” I stared after him, completely shocked.

Without a word, he disappeared only to come back a few minutes later with the Real Estate Guide in his hands. Flipping through the Guide, he lowered himself next to me again. “I was looking through this last night,” he told me as he slipped his arm around me. “I saw a couple that sounded promising. Want to see?”

I really didn’t have much of a choice; he pointed out one house and then proceeded to shove the Guide in my face. “I can’t see it when you do that.” Taking the Guide from him, I read the ad he pointed out. “1954 three bedroom, 1 bath farm house on 5 acres located 10 minutes from town…” I trailed off as I read the rest of the ad to myself. Biting my lip, I glanced at Jordan. “It sounds good Honey – a lot of upgrading, more than likely but I think we should look at it.” Flipping to the next page he marked, I asked him if he called Wanda to set up a viewing.

“There wasn’t an answer.”

For a half hour I listened to an animated Jordy talking about the houses he wanted to see and all the plans he had for when we finally found the one for us. He was eager to head out and no amount of flirting on my part was going to keep that man home for another second longer.

****

We drove around for hours, it seemed but we didn’t really get a chance to view any houses – from the inside at least. Since all we could do was drive by slowly and check the houses out from the car, that’s what we did. Unfortunately, half of the houses he thought looked good on paper didn’t hold that much promise in broad daylight.

“We’ll find it,” he insisted after the 1954 farm house turned out to be a step up from a run down shack by the glimpse we got from the highway. “I still want to see it from the inside,” he informed me. “You never know, it may just need a little outside TLC.”

“That’s possible,” I gave him a smile that I hoped didn’t show how doubtful I was that he would be alright from the inside.

“Yeah…” he trailed off. “Although, there’s no way that the house is 10 minutes from town. It’s more like 25 minutes.” With a quick glance in my direction, he told me that he didn’t want to live that far out of town. “Hell, if that were the case, I would be looking for houses in Lakeland.”

As we closed in on the city limits Jordan decided to take one of the back roads instead of following the main highway into town ‘for something to do.’ Just after he made the turn, my phone rang.

“Can you meet me later this afternoon?” The caller cut me off before I had a chance to finish my ‘hello’. “Without Jordan? I need you, I really need you Anna.”