Sharing Pain

The restaurant was nearly deserted which wasn’t really surprising since it was the middle of the afternoon on a holiday Monday. The waitress was no where to be seen as I stood in front of the ‘Please Wait to be Seated’ sign, neither was the person I was meeting. As I waited for the waitress to come over, I wondered why I was summoned out and why Jordan’s presence wasn’t requested.

“Hello there, table for one?” The waitress asked as she headed towards the side counter where the menus were waiting. She pulled out one and then went back for the second one when I told her that I was expecting another. Following her through the first few smaller booths designed for one or two people, I hoped that whatever I was needed for, it wasn’t bad news.

“I don’t understand why I can’t go,” Jordan whined when I was getting ready to head to the restaurant. “Why does he want to see you?”

“I don’t know Jordy,” I turned to him. “I don’t know what he wants, I don’t know why he wants to talk to me, and I don’t know why he doesn’t want to talk to you. All I know is that I have to be at the restaurant in less than a half hour and you can’t go!”

“Oh!” He held his hands up and backed away from me, a smile playing on his lips. “Now the gloves come off, don’t they? You get a call to have a secret meeting with someone and suddenly it’s all ‘I’m better than you, look at who’d rather talk to me’.”

I laughed. “Fool.” I shook my head and turned back to the mirror, checking to make sure I looked alright. “I don’t think I’m better than you nor do I have a secret meeting with him. I told you about it!”

“Details,” he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I know,” I met his eyes in the mirror. “You are worried, but trust me Honey, it’ll be alright.”

“I’ll have a glass of water, thank you.” The waitress smiled, laid down the menus and nodded before walking away. Me, I thought more about the phone call and tried to remember how he sounded, if there was some desperation in his voice, or something that would give me cause to worry but he sounded like he normally did.

A bell chimed at the front of the restaurant, I looked up from the menu and smiled as he made his way towards me. “Hey,” I slid out of the booth and held out my arms, waiting for him to come close enough to give him a hug. “How are you?”

Squeezing me tight, he planted a kiss on my cheek. “I’m alright,” he replied but it really didn’t sound like he was. “Sit,” he motioned towards the booth and waited until I moved before he unzipped his jacket and took his seat across from me. “You look amazing; my brother is a lucky guy.”

I laughed. “That he is Nicky, I tell him so every single day.”

“Good,” Nick grinned. “Although, I don’t think he’s likely to forget it. He’s happier now than he’s ever been.” His smile faded slightly as he said, “Lucky him.”

The waitress came over to get Nick’s drink order so I had to wait a few seconds to ask Nick if everything was ok.

Instead of replying right away, he leaned forward and rested his chin on his folded hands. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking as he stared at me but for the first time ever, he was actually making me a tiny bit nervous.

“Were you ready to order?” The waitress asked as she placed Nick’s pop on the table. “Or did you need a few more minutes?”

Nick tilted his head, gave her a smile. “I’m ready.” After I voiced my readiness as well, he ordered burger and fries.

When the waitress disappeared again, Nick leaned back and slumped in the booth. “I know you are probably wondering why I made a big deal about seeing you without Jordan being around.”
I nodded. “I didn’t expect you to call and tell me that you needed me.”

“I know, I haven’t done that since we were still in school.”

Just mentioning that moment made my heart almost stopped and my jaw dropped. “Nick…” I shook my head, I wasn’t sure I could handle what he had to say next, not if he was referencing the time that Amy broke his heart and dumped him.

“No, no,” he reached across the table and gripped my hand.

“No?”

“No…well,” he let go of my hand and sighed. “Anna I don’t know.”

“What’s going on Nick? The other night you guys seemed as happy as you’ve always been. What happened?”

“The money.”

My brow shot up. “The money your grandparents gave you? How did that change things?”

Nick asked me if I spent Jordan’s already.

“What?” I stared at him. “Why would I spend Jordan’s money? Your grandparents gave him the money, not me. Although,” I chuckled. “He said the money goes towards our dream house, if we ever find it!”

“I wish I had that kind of authority over the money.”

“What do you mean?” I paused to take a sip of my water. “What does Amy want to do with the money?”

Nick shrugged, “What doesn’t she want to do?” With another sigh, he told me that he was happy that the banks were closed today. “Otherwise she would have most of it spent already.”

“Ok,” I took a deep breath. “What do you want to do with the money?”

“I’m tired of owing money Anna, I want to pay off everything we owe and start over.” For a spilt second Nick looked happy but then the black cloud in his eyes came back. “Amy doesn’t believe that we should get that out of the way. We fought for most of the last couple days.”

“Oh Nick, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

As time wore on, Nick told me that Amy was making lists of things she wanted to buy and on the top of her list was a new car which he didn’t think they needed. “Jordan went over that car with a fine tooth comb, he assured me that everything was sound and I don’t see the point of buying a new car just because we have a little extra money. I want to get out of the hole, I want to get out of her parents’ basement and I want to finally live life the way we’ve always dreamt.” Pausing, his eyes met mine. “I want to stop being so damn jealous of my little brother.”

“Nicky –”

“Anna, no, you don’t know what it’s like. I see what Jordan has and it pisses me off. I was a third year electrician. I had every opportunity to have everything.”

“But what happened?”

“I quit.” He looked so angry. “Amy complained that I was never around and she missed me so I quit and found a job that would bring me home earlier and I’ve been miserable ever since.” There was a fire in his eyes, one I haven’t seen in years. “I’m tired of barely making ends meet Anna, I’m tired of having to check my bank balance before I buy groceries and I’m so damn tired of feeling like a loser because I gave up something I had been dreaming of since I was a boy.”

“Have you talked to Amy about this?”

He rolled his eyes. “Like she’s going to hear what I’m saying.”

“What do you mean? What else would she hear?”

“Same thing she does every time I speak – something that lands me in the doghouse!”

I had to be careful in what I said; I didn’t want to say something that would send Nick off. “I wish I could give you advice that would make everything better but I don’t have it. I don’t know what you should do, except talk to Amy and hopefully you two can make a decision about the money that will satisfy both of your hopes and dreams.”

“I wasn’t really looking to you for all the answers,” he admitted. “I just wanted someone to hear me out.” He chuckled softly. “I wanted a woman to hear me out.”

After that admission, Nick was like a whole other person, the dark cloud lifted and he started to joke around. Conversation turned from his money problems to Jordan and my quest for the perfect house. “So? What is the perfect house?” Popping a fry in his mouth, he smirked. “Car parts in every room of the house?”

“No!” I snorted. “Although Jordy did mention that a three car garage wouldn’t be a bad thing.”