All Sorts Of Trouble

At the end of Wednesday’s show rehearsal, Josh asked me if I had a few minutes. Jenna, who seemed to be coming down with a cold, was cranky and whiny so I told him I really didn’t think it would be a good time. “Maybe on Friday,” I threw over my shoulder as I tried to wrestle Jenna into the boots she decided she wasn’t wearing anymore.

“It won’t take long,” he insisted. “I just had something to tell you that I believe you’ll want to hear.”

Jenna kicked at me, catching my finger just enough to bend it backwards. I bit my lip in effort to stop from crying out in pain but, to tell the truth, I think yelling would’ve made me feel a whole lot better. “I’m busy Josh,” I hissed through clenched teeth.

Sitting in the chair next to the moody little brat – I mean girl – Josh held out his hand to me. “Give it here.” When I handed it over, he wrapped his free arm around Jenna and even though she fought him a little, he continued to talk softly to her until she sat back and held up her feet and her hand, which she reached towards his face.

My eyes widened. I slowly turned towards him, a shocked expression on my face. “How…?” I trailed off as Jenna let him slide her boots on her feet.

“Practice.” A weary smile appeared on his face. “Jesse could test the patience of a saint when he wanted. And trust me, he wanted, a lot.”

Just as I went to tell him that I didn’t believe Jesse was capable of testing anyone’s patience because he was such a cute little boy, Cassie came over and asked for the keys to my car. “It’s really cold,” she told me but one glance over her shoulder told me that her desire to start my car wasn’t to warm it up – Todd was heading towards the exit with his guitar in hand.

With a smile, I handed over my keys and told her that I would appreciate it if she loaded all Jenna’s and my stuff in the car while she was at it. She sighed, said fine and then sarcastically asked me if there was anything else I would like. “Sure,” I motioned towards Jenna. “You can take her out and strap her in as well.”

Grumbling, Cassie grabbed my bag and Jenna’s toys. “I’ll be back for the rug rat.”

I waited until she was halfway to the door, where Todd had stopped to talk to his drummer, before calling out her name. “Was Ben coming home this weekend?” When I called out Cassie’s name, Todd glanced her way and smile slightly but the moment I mentioned Ben, his smile disappeared and he seemed disappointed.

Flipping her hair, she turned around causally but she really was upset. “Yes, he is.”

“Great,” I grinned. “Jordan was asking how he was doing just the other day – he wants to have you both for a movie or something.”

A sudden flood of light alerted us to someone leaving the building, it was Todd. “Thanks a lot Aunt Anna!” Cassie snapped before stomping off.

The door slammed open for the second time and beside me Josh chuckled. “You are such a troublemaker.”

As innocently as I could, I told him I wasn’t. “Jordan did ask about Ben the other night.”

“Uh-huh,” he crossed his arms over his chest and grinned down at me. “And you suddenly had to shout that out across the room?”

Nodding, I slipped my hands under Jenna’s arms and lifted her into my arms. “You believe she really wanted to start my car?” I asked him. “You don’t believe she was following Todd out?”

“So what if she was?”

“She’s seeing someone.”

“So?” He raised a brow. “To quote you, she ‘can hang out with other men without betraying anyone’.”

Rolling my eyes, I told him that it was none of his business. “No Anna, it’s none of your business. Cassie is a smart young woman and she is capable of making decisions without you butting in to tell her she is wrong.”

“Oh shut up.” I turned away from him.

He laughed. “Why?” His hand slipped around my arm and he held me in place until he came around to stand in front of me. “Because you know I’m right? That it’s none of your business and you need to butt out.”

“Just…” I waved my free hand in his direction, wishing he would just go away. “Don’t.”

Unfortunately, he didn’t disappear. “Cassie is old enough to make her own decisions Anna. She doesn’t need you to babysit her.”

“Josh!” I glared at him. “You do not need to tell me that. I know she’s old enough to make her own decisions but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stop her from doing something she’d regret.”

“Regret?” He told me I was unbelievable. “How do you know she’s going to do something? She’s a people person Anna, much like you. So what does it matter if she wanted to follow Todd outside and talk? You, of all people, should be fine with this.”

“I’m her aunt Josh. I love her and –”

“You can’t let her live her own life.”

Rolling my eyes, I told him I was going home.

“Oh!” He grabbed my arm and pulled me just a little closer. “That reminds me; I wanted to talk to you.”

“Can it wait?”

As his smile disappeared, his shoulders slumped a little. “It could,” he replied slowly. “But I would rather tell you now.”

Glancing around the room, I realized that, besides Jenna, Josh and I were the only ones still there. “I really have to go. Jenna and I have a few things to do before Jordan gets home from work.”

“Right.” He nodded but it looked like he wanted to say a whole lot more – and none of it good. He surprised me though; he asked me how Jordan was doing with being a full time dad while Heather was away.

My attention went to Jenna as she rested against my chest, her Dora doll in a death grip in one arm as her other hand balled up in a fist around a handful of my shirt. Gone was the cranky little girl and I couldn’t be happier; I loved it when she wanted to cling to me like that. It always made me feel so special.

I felt so emotional when I said, “It’s going to be so hard when Heather comes back.” Clearing my throat, I turned my eyes back to Josh. “I don’t know how Jordan is going to handle it.”

I knew he understood, he had been through it so many times. “It’ll break your heart Anna but there is some comfort in knowing that she’ll be back again soon.”

“Yeah,” I kissed the top of Jenna’s blond head. “He’s so happy he got this time with her and so am I.”

“I had Jesse for an extra day this weekend because of the holiday,” he told me. “He got so excited about the extra day, he actually cried!” Josh spoke non stop for a few minutes about his weekend with Jesse, then, out of the blue, he inquired about our house hunting. “Have you found a place yet?”

Shaking my head, I told him that we were having a few problems finding the perfect place. “Every house so far is just that – a house. None of them feel like home and we can’t see ourselves living there.” He nodded as I continued. “But we are confident that we’ll find it.”

We talked about a little of what Jordan and I were looking for and it surprised me how interested he was. It also surprised me how easily I talked about Jordan and our future with Josh considering that not even a few weeks ago, he was being an ass about my relationship with Jordan.

And if being able to talk sensibly with Josh about my relationship and future with someone other than him was a surprise, the words that came out of his mouth the minute I stopped gushing about Jordan and my dream house classified as heart attack material.

“You will find it,” he stated confidently. “And I know where it is.”

Sharing Pain

The restaurant was nearly deserted which wasn’t really surprising since it was the middle of the afternoon on a holiday Monday. The waitress was no where to be seen as I stood in front of the ‘Please Wait to be Seated’ sign, neither was the person I was meeting. As I waited for the waitress to come over, I wondered why I was summoned out and why Jordan’s presence wasn’t requested.

“Hello there, table for one?” The waitress asked as she headed towards the side counter where the menus were waiting. She pulled out one and then went back for the second one when I told her that I was expecting another. Following her through the first few smaller booths designed for one or two people, I hoped that whatever I was needed for, it wasn’t bad news.

“I don’t understand why I can’t go,” Jordan whined when I was getting ready to head to the restaurant. “Why does he want to see you?”

“I don’t know Jordy,” I turned to him. “I don’t know what he wants, I don’t know why he wants to talk to me, and I don’t know why he doesn’t want to talk to you. All I know is that I have to be at the restaurant in less than a half hour and you can’t go!”

“Oh!” He held his hands up and backed away from me, a smile playing on his lips. “Now the gloves come off, don’t they? You get a call to have a secret meeting with someone and suddenly it’s all ‘I’m better than you, look at who’d rather talk to me’.”

I laughed. “Fool.” I shook my head and turned back to the mirror, checking to make sure I looked alright. “I don’t think I’m better than you nor do I have a secret meeting with him. I told you about it!”

“Details,” he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“I know,” I met his eyes in the mirror. “You are worried, but trust me Honey, it’ll be alright.”

“I’ll have a glass of water, thank you.” The waitress smiled, laid down the menus and nodded before walking away. Me, I thought more about the phone call and tried to remember how he sounded, if there was some desperation in his voice, or something that would give me cause to worry but he sounded like he normally did.

A bell chimed at the front of the restaurant, I looked up from the menu and smiled as he made his way towards me. “Hey,” I slid out of the booth and held out my arms, waiting for him to come close enough to give him a hug. “How are you?”

Squeezing me tight, he planted a kiss on my cheek. “I’m alright,” he replied but it really didn’t sound like he was. “Sit,” he motioned towards the booth and waited until I moved before he unzipped his jacket and took his seat across from me. “You look amazing; my brother is a lucky guy.”

I laughed. “That he is Nicky, I tell him so every single day.”

“Good,” Nick grinned. “Although, I don’t think he’s likely to forget it. He’s happier now than he’s ever been.” His smile faded slightly as he said, “Lucky him.”

The waitress came over to get Nick’s drink order so I had to wait a few seconds to ask Nick if everything was ok.

Instead of replying right away, he leaned forward and rested his chin on his folded hands. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking as he stared at me but for the first time ever, he was actually making me a tiny bit nervous.

“Were you ready to order?” The waitress asked as she placed Nick’s pop on the table. “Or did you need a few more minutes?”

Nick tilted his head, gave her a smile. “I’m ready.” After I voiced my readiness as well, he ordered burger and fries.

When the waitress disappeared again, Nick leaned back and slumped in the booth. “I know you are probably wondering why I made a big deal about seeing you without Jordan being around.”
I nodded. “I didn’t expect you to call and tell me that you needed me.”

“I know, I haven’t done that since we were still in school.”

Just mentioning that moment made my heart almost stopped and my jaw dropped. “Nick…” I shook my head, I wasn’t sure I could handle what he had to say next, not if he was referencing the time that Amy broke his heart and dumped him.

“No, no,” he reached across the table and gripped my hand.

“No?”

“No…well,” he let go of my hand and sighed. “Anna I don’t know.”

“What’s going on Nick? The other night you guys seemed as happy as you’ve always been. What happened?”

“The money.”

My brow shot up. “The money your grandparents gave you? How did that change things?”

Nick asked me if I spent Jordan’s already.

“What?” I stared at him. “Why would I spend Jordan’s money? Your grandparents gave him the money, not me. Although,” I chuckled. “He said the money goes towards our dream house, if we ever find it!”

“I wish I had that kind of authority over the money.”

“What do you mean?” I paused to take a sip of my water. “What does Amy want to do with the money?”

Nick shrugged, “What doesn’t she want to do?” With another sigh, he told me that he was happy that the banks were closed today. “Otherwise she would have most of it spent already.”

“Ok,” I took a deep breath. “What do you want to do with the money?”

“I’m tired of owing money Anna, I want to pay off everything we owe and start over.” For a spilt second Nick looked happy but then the black cloud in his eyes came back. “Amy doesn’t believe that we should get that out of the way. We fought for most of the last couple days.”

“Oh Nick, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

As time wore on, Nick told me that Amy was making lists of things she wanted to buy and on the top of her list was a new car which he didn’t think they needed. “Jordan went over that car with a fine tooth comb, he assured me that everything was sound and I don’t see the point of buying a new car just because we have a little extra money. I want to get out of the hole, I want to get out of her parents’ basement and I want to finally live life the way we’ve always dreamt.” Pausing, his eyes met mine. “I want to stop being so damn jealous of my little brother.”

“Nicky –”

“Anna, no, you don’t know what it’s like. I see what Jordan has and it pisses me off. I was a third year electrician. I had every opportunity to have everything.”

“But what happened?”

“I quit.” He looked so angry. “Amy complained that I was never around and she missed me so I quit and found a job that would bring me home earlier and I’ve been miserable ever since.” There was a fire in his eyes, one I haven’t seen in years. “I’m tired of barely making ends meet Anna, I’m tired of having to check my bank balance before I buy groceries and I’m so damn tired of feeling like a loser because I gave up something I had been dreaming of since I was a boy.”

“Have you talked to Amy about this?”

He rolled his eyes. “Like she’s going to hear what I’m saying.”

“What do you mean? What else would she hear?”

“Same thing she does every time I speak – something that lands me in the doghouse!”

I had to be careful in what I said; I didn’t want to say something that would send Nick off. “I wish I could give you advice that would make everything better but I don’t have it. I don’t know what you should do, except talk to Amy and hopefully you two can make a decision about the money that will satisfy both of your hopes and dreams.”

“I wasn’t really looking to you for all the answers,” he admitted. “I just wanted someone to hear me out.” He chuckled softly. “I wanted a woman to hear me out.”

After that admission, Nick was like a whole other person, the dark cloud lifted and he started to joke around. Conversation turned from his money problems to Jordan and my quest for the perfect house. “So? What is the perfect house?” Popping a fry in his mouth, he smirked. “Car parts in every room of the house?”

“No!” I snorted. “Although Jordy did mention that a three car garage wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Back Into It

When I dropped Jenna off at Heather’s parents place they made a couple comments about being surprised that Jordan and I would need someone to look after Jenna that morning. I just brushed it off as them meaning that it was a surprise, with all the family that we both have, that we needed to call them.

“Everyone had prior commitments.”

Heather’s mom looked at me strangely but she didn’t say anything more, all her attention went to her granddaughter.

I knelt down to tell Jenna I would pick her up later and give her a hug. She gave me a ‘Jordy’ grin and proceeded to plant a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. “Have a great day with Grandma and Grandpa, ok Sweetie?” With one final squeeze, I stood and turned to Heather’s parents. “Thank you both for agreeing to care for Jenna today, Jordan and I really appreciate it.”

Heather’s parents glanced at each other and then her father told me that they were happy to do it. “Tell Jordan we are happy he called. Although we understand, we were disappointed when Heather told us she was leaving Jenna with him – we didn’t think he would allow us to see her.”

“Not allow you to see her?” I gasped. “Jordan would never do that.”

“We see that now,” he responded.

“Good.” I smiled. “Now, I have to go or I’ll be late. Have a great day; I’ll be back at 3:30 to pick her up.”

As I pulled away from the curb outside their house, I happened to glance back and caught a glimpse of movement in the living room window – Jenna was waving at me.

****

I was in a little bit of a hurry when I pulled into the parking lot at work. In the rush to get into work on time, it never clicked with me that the parking lot that normally held a good twenty or thirty cars was nearly empty. Nor did it register that the truck sitting in one of the handicap parking spaces was Jordan’s. In fact, I was in my own little world that it took Jordan running up to me and taking hold of my hand for me to even realize that anything was out of the ordinary that morning.

“Jordy!” At first I was surprised – happy – to see him but soon it changed to wondering why he was there. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“I couldn’t go to work,” he told me.

I frowned. “Why not?”

“Closed.”

“Closed?” I repeated slowly. “What do you mean closed?”

A smile started to spread across his face. “Closed, as in not open. Much like what happens when there’s a stat.”

“A stat?” I didn’t know what he was going on with at first but suddenly, as if my brain finally woke up, it sunk in and I felt like a fool. “The Remembrance Day Stat! We don’t work today!” I slapped myself in the forehead. “That’s why Heather’s parents were so surprised that we wanted them to babysit Jenna today!”

As I lowered my hand, Jordan reached out, catching my hand in his. “You know what this means Babe?” He took a step towards me, a mischievous grin on his handsome face. “We –” Slipping my hand around his waist, he lowered his head until his forehead was resting against mine. “We get to spend some quality time together.”

It was a great idea since we barely had time during the week to spend together but I was a little confused. “What about Jenna?” I asked. “Don’t you want to go and pick her up?”

He nodded slowly, “I do.”

“Oh, then how…?” I motioned back and forth between the two of us.

He didn’t respond right away, instead, he lifted his head enough to plant a kiss on my forehead. “I want to pick her up right now but I also want to take you somewhere and….” The mischievous grin was back.

“Ok,” I chuckled. “So do you want me to meet you at home or…?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded enthusiastically. “Meet me at home and we’ll go from there.”

****

Even though Jordan and I left my work at the same time, I managed to arrive to his place before he did. In fact, I went into the house, used the bathroom, changed my clothes and did a quick, simple make up job and was sitting at the kitchen table, wondering where he went, when he finally came through the front door.

“What happened to you?” I asked as he came around the table and kissed my cheek before he sat down next to me.

“Sorry Babe,” he plopped a cloth shopping bag on the table in front of him. “I just had to make a couple stops.”

“You went to see Jenna, didn’t you?” I grinned when he nodded a little guiltily. “Was she excited to see you?” Gasping, my eyes widened, “I bet she just ran to you.”

“I did, I just wanted to see how Jenna was doing.” He confessed that he felt really guilty about leaving Jenna there when he wasn’t working. “But Heather’s parents looked so crushed when I showed up and I know what they were feeling – I feel it every time I have to give Jenna back – I just couldn’t and that didn’t make Jenna happy.” His voice cracked a little. “I made my little girl cry Anna. I made her cry.”

“She’ll be alright Jordan. When we pick her up later, she won’t even remember that you didn’t take her with you this time, all she’ll be thinking is, ‘my daddy is here’ and ‘he’s the best’.”

Jordan snorted. “I don’t think she’ll be thinking I’m the best Anna.”

“No?” I scooted out my chair to sit on his lap. “She does think you are the best Jordy, if she didn’t, it wouldn’t matter that you didn’t take her with you. Jenna loves you.”

Resting his chin on my shoulder, he told me that I was the best. “I love you.”

****

With Jenna at her grandparents’ house, Jordan, after spending a good hour and a half on the couch snuggling and chatting with me, asked if I wanted to go for a drive. “It’s a beautiful day,” he stated when I moaned my distaste for leaving the couch. “We can look for houses,” he tried to persuade me.

I knew that it would be a great time to look but I didn’t really want to get up.

“Anna, come on.” He started to playfully poke me in the sides. “Our dream house isn’t going to come knocking on our door. We have to go out and find it.”

Pouting, I told him I knew. “But,” squeezing him tightly, I asked if I could have another half hour of cuddling before we went out in the cold, sunny November morning.

He gave in, some what reluctantly. “It’s not that I don’t want to cuddle, just so you know Babe.”

“I know,” I smirked. “You can’t get enough of me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Pushing me away, Jordan shoved off the couch.

“Wait, what…” I stared after him, completely shocked.

Without a word, he disappeared only to come back a few minutes later with the Real Estate Guide in his hands. Flipping through the Guide, he lowered himself next to me again. “I was looking through this last night,” he told me as he slipped his arm around me. “I saw a couple that sounded promising. Want to see?”

I really didn’t have much of a choice; he pointed out one house and then proceeded to shove the Guide in my face. “I can’t see it when you do that.” Taking the Guide from him, I read the ad he pointed out. “1954 three bedroom, 1 bath farm house on 5 acres located 10 minutes from town…” I trailed off as I read the rest of the ad to myself. Biting my lip, I glanced at Jordan. “It sounds good Honey – a lot of upgrading, more than likely but I think we should look at it.” Flipping to the next page he marked, I asked him if he called Wanda to set up a viewing.

“There wasn’t an answer.”

For a half hour I listened to an animated Jordy talking about the houses he wanted to see and all the plans he had for when we finally found the one for us. He was eager to head out and no amount of flirting on my part was going to keep that man home for another second longer.

****

We drove around for hours, it seemed but we didn’t really get a chance to view any houses – from the inside at least. Since all we could do was drive by slowly and check the houses out from the car, that’s what we did. Unfortunately, half of the houses he thought looked good on paper didn’t hold that much promise in broad daylight.

“We’ll find it,” he insisted after the 1954 farm house turned out to be a step up from a run down shack by the glimpse we got from the highway. “I still want to see it from the inside,” he informed me. “You never know, it may just need a little outside TLC.”

“That’s possible,” I gave him a smile that I hoped didn’t show how doubtful I was that he would be alright from the inside.

“Yeah…” he trailed off. “Although, there’s no way that the house is 10 minutes from town. It’s more like 25 minutes.” With a quick glance in my direction, he told me that he didn’t want to live that far out of town. “Hell, if that were the case, I would be looking for houses in Lakeland.”

As we closed in on the city limits Jordan decided to take one of the back roads instead of following the main highway into town ‘for something to do.’ Just after he made the turn, my phone rang.

“Can you meet me later this afternoon?” The caller cut me off before I had a chance to finish my ‘hello’. “Without Jordan? I need you, I really need you Anna.”