Closer

After a long silence, Nick asked me if Jordan told me why he didn’t come home until after midnight. When I said no, that we hadn’t talked about what happened yet, that we would when Jenna was asleep, Nick just said, ‘oh’.

“Was there something I should know?”

“No, nothing really.”

“Oh,” I frowned. “Then why did you ask that Nick?”

“Just wanted to know if he told you how crazy he is, that’s all.”

Jordan came wandering down the hallway with Jenna bundled up in a towel. I raised a brow in his direction. “Crazy? What do you mean Nick?”

“Hold on a minute, ok Nick?” When he said ok, I smiled at Jordy. “What’s up?”

“Kisses?” Jordan held Jenna out to me and she didn’t waste any time leaning forward to wrap her chubby little arms around my neck. “I’m going to read her the ‘Three Little Pigs’ tonight.” He gave me a kiss on the forehead as Jenna slobbered on my cheek.

“Good choice,” I grinned. “She loves your little piggy voice.”

“Nah,” Jordan shook his head. “It’s my big bad wolf.” Pulling Jenna away from me, he held her up over his head and in a deep, gruff voice, he said, “I’ll huff and I’ll puff and…” Lowering Jenna he blew loudly on her belly, making her giggle like mad.

Just watching Jordan laughing with Jenna made me so happy. “Hey Jordy?”

Lowering Jenna to his chest, he raised a brow in my direction. “Yeah Babe?”

With a smile, I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him near. “I love you Jordan Randall Pollett.” At the mere mention of his middle name, Jordy screwed up his face, he hated it but it was his mother’s father’s name so he was stuck with it. Besides, I kinda liked it but I would never tell him that.

“Love you too.” He kissed my cheek and started to turn away but stopped. Turning back, he gave me a once over before his eyes locked on mine. As I glazed into his eyes, there was something in them that just took my breath away. “I’ve always loved you Anna, for as long as I can remember.”

Yeah, I couldn’t speak a word, that got to me.

Jordan turned and wandered off down the hallway with Jenna half hanging over his shoulder, grinning at me.

I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face until a voice in my ear said, “Once again she forgets about me when Jordan Randall is around.”

“Whatever Nicholas –“

“Don’t even!”

“What?” I laughed. “You don’t like your middle name either, do you Clyde?”

“ANNA! Why do you …. Argh! Women!”

“Love you Nicky.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shithead.”

Smiling, I asked him how he was doing. “How is Bradley and Amy? Jordan said that Bradley wasn’t feeling that great, does he have a cold?”

Nick told me that Bradley had a fever so they took him to the ER. “Amy was so upset. I told her he just had a cold but she wouldn’t listen to a word I said, she told me that I didn’t know anything because I wasn’t a doctor or a woman.”

“Come on Nick, it’s your first baby, of course Amy’s going to be worried. Besides, it’s never a good thing for a baby to have a fever.”

“Yeah but she doesn’t have to assume that I know nothing because I’m just a dad. I read the same damn books she did and I have both our mom’s telling me the same stuff they tell her. So what I didn’t give birth to him, he’s still my son and I’m just as capable of figuring out when something is wrong with him.”

“Sounds like something you should talk to Amy about Nick. You know, when you both are calm.”

“I tried to talk to her,” he admitted. “But Jordan showed up with a screaming Jenna and that pissed Amy off even more because she had just gotten Bradley to sleep.”

“I’m sorry Nick.”

Nick sighed. “Not your fault my brother is a moron and Amy’s moody.”

“It kind of was my fault, the whole reason Jordan showed up at your place.”

“No,” Nick replied. “Jordan showed up at my place because he was too chicken shit to go home.”

“Because he didn’t want to fight.”

“No, because he didn’t want to go home to an empty house – he was so certain that he ruined everything with you, he thought you wouldn’t be there when he went home. He stayed here as long as he could before Amy told him to grow up and go deal with his problems like a man.”

Nick went on to tell me how much of a wreck Jordan was when he showed up at his place. “I thought something bad happened because I’ve never seen him like that before. Plus, Jenna crying and calling out to you didn’t help him at all, he kept telling her that he screwed up and you might not be there anymore.”

“Oh…” I sighed. “It was our first real fight Nick and yeah, I guess, with my past behaviour in similar situations Jordan would have ever reason to think I would leave.”

“You didn’t leave, obviously.”

“No, but I thought about it. Just to give him time to think about what he said and why it upset me.”

“But you didn’t leave,” he repeated.

“I couldn’t, not really.”

****

“Jordan?” I had finished my conversation with Nick moments before and I realized that I hadn’t heard a peep from Jordan since he went to read Jenna a story. “Honey?” I wandered down the hallway towards Jenna’s room but when I got to her door, the lights were all off except for her Dora nightlight and Jordan wasn’t anywhere to be found.

From Jenna’s room, I made my way to his room, thinking that maybe he decided to change before coming out to join me in the living room but once again I came to a dark room with no Jordan. "Jordy?” I started to think I was losing it, thinking that he must’ve slipped by me while I was on the phone. I started back down the hallway towards the kitchen.

“Jordy?” I glanced around the kitchen and felt my heart sink when I found another empty room. Disappointed, I turned to head back to the living room and damn near ran over Jordan. “I was looking….” The look in his eyes made me forget what I was saying, he looked hungry.

Moments later, I knew just how hungry when his mouth came crashing down on mine.