Time To Give It Up

By the end of July I had fallen into a fairly satisfying but tiring routine.

During the weekdays, my alarm clock buzzed me to consciousness at 5am. With much reluctance, I would turn off my alarm and literally roll out of bed, only to stumble upstairs for something to eat.

Breakfast was always the same - a bowl of fruit loops and a banana. Half way through my breakfast, Mary would wander into the kitchen and sit with me for a while. We would talk about the girls, Zack and the baby. She would talk for a while and then asked me what was going on with me but I was running out of time. “We’ll talk about you tomorrow,” she would always say - we have yet to talk about me, which is alright with me.

After a shower and getting dressed, I leave the house and arrive at work ten minutes before I had to start my shift. The first few minutes of my shift, I would meet up with the person who has been working in my department during the night. God! I hate that part of the morning! It wasn’t so bad when it was Sara in the department but she’s off due to personal reasons - so I’m told - and it’s been nothing but a freaking’ headache for me. I can hardly wait for her to get back.

I was really enjoying my new role as Infants department manager - I liked helping the customers that came through and seeing all the babies as well - but dealing with the store manager, regional offices and home office all putting in their two cents worth was enough to drive me crazy.

And that’s why I enjoyed my after work time so much.

My work day ended at 3:30. At 4, I walked into Chad’s house to exchange my car for their van so I could take my nieces and nephew to the lake for a couple hours of fun. Most days it took me until 6:30 to convince them that they wanted to go home and let Aunt Anna relax.

Every time I dropped them off at Chad’s, Susan would insist that I stay for supper. By 8, Zack or Mary would come by, pick up their girls and I would head out.

“Aunt Anna do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?” It was the last Tuesday of July - $1 movie night for all shows playing, new and old. Cassie had made plans to go with Ben and her friends to see Transformers. I asked her what happened to them. “Oh, they are still going but I thought that maybe you would like to hang out with us.” There was something in the way that she spoke and looked away that told me she was feeling sorry for me. So I took her outside - away from our family.

“Cassie what’s going on?”

She shifted uncomfortably.

“Come on Cassie, tell me.”

“Well,” she lowered her head and told me that she overheard Zack and Mary talking about me the night before. “They are worried about you Aunt Anna, they think that you are into something bad - dad has been trying to get mom to find out what’s going on with you since you came back from the city. He thinks you are acting strange and very secretive.” She paused and then repeated that he was worried about me.

“He has nothing to worry about,” I told her. “I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Then where do you go when you leave here Aunt Anna?” She sounded so worried. “You leave here and you don’t come home until midnight or later.”

After I left Chad’s I drove straight to Jordan’s and we would either go out for dinner or make something there. Most nights we had a nap together on the couch and then I would leave when we woke up - he hated it that I wouldn’t stay the night with him.

“Cassie I can’t tell you but trust me, I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Why can’t you tell me?” She demanded as she crossed her arms over her chest. “We used to tell each other everything! I still tell you everything that’s going on with me! Why don’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you,” I went to touch her arm but she pulled away from me.

“Whatever!” She scoffed.

“Cassie…” I sighed. I wanted to tell her about Jordan - I didn’t want it to be a secret anymore but knew if I told her, she would tell everyone else and I didn’t want them to know just yet. Cassie would be happy for me and very excited where everyone else would be more likely to warn me of the risks involved. I knew the risks.

“Forget about it,” she turned away from me.

As I stared at her back, trying to think of something to say to her to make her understand, I was thinking - why not tell her? Jordan and I being together was a great thing and I wanted to have him over as my boyfriend. I wanted to go out around town with him and not worry that someone will realize that we are dating and tell our families before we did.

It was time everyone we loved knew about us.

I pulled out my cell and quickly sent Jordan a text message - he was at Heather’s, visiting Jenna. I’m going to tell Cassie about us, I wrote.

I wasn’t sure how long it would take him to read the message so I was surprised when not even a minute later, my phone beeped. Cassie turned around to see what I was doing as I read his message, tell her I really love you and I will do everything I can to make you happy.

“Cassie?” I motioned for her to come over. “You’re right, we did tell each other everything and in this last month I have been keeping something from you. Something really big.”

The anger faded from her face and curiosity replaced it. “What is it Aunt Anna?” She asked. “You said you weren’t doing anything bad, is that true?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s not bad at all Cassie. When I leave here, I go to Jordan’s.”

“Every night?” She frowned.

“Yes,” I smiled. “Every night.”

“But…” she seemed confused. “Why keep that a secret from us Aunt Anna? We all know that he’s your best friend and you spend time with him.”

I motioned towards the swing set that Chad and Zack built at the beginning of summer. Once we were seated in the swings, I turned to her. “I wasn’t going there as his friend Cass.”

“What do you mean? How else would you go there?”

Instead of saying anything, I grinned and waited.

After a couple minutes her eyes widened. “OH MY GOD!!! AUNT ANNA!” She jumped out of her swing and stood with her mouth hanging open, gawking at me. “NO!” She shouted in disbelief.

“Yes,” I laughed.

“When?”

“When what?” I asked just to bug her.

“When did you start dating Jordan?” She demanded. “Wait,” she returned to her swing. “Are you just dating? Or have you slept with him as well?”

“Cassandra Christensen I don’t believe that’s really any of your business!”

She stared at me for a minute and then started to laugh. “You are blushing Aunt Anna.”

“Well of course I am! You just asked me if I slept with Jordan! I don’t ask you if you slept with Ben.”

“Ah! You do so! Even though you know I’m not ready for it!”

“Ok,” I gave her that, I did ask.

“So?” She looked at me expectantly. “When did you start dating him? And did you sleep with him?”

Smiling, I told her about the night at the hospital and what happened the next morning. “We’ve been seeing each other since then and as much as I want to be with him, we have decided to take things slow - neither one of us want to go too fast and ruin things.”

Cassie giggled in delight. “This is so awesome!”

“Yes, it is.” I couldn’t help but smile like a moron. “And you are the first person either of us has told.”

“Really?” She suddenly got all teary eyed. “I’m so happy for you Aunt Anna, Jordan is an amazing guy.” She squealed and hugged me. “You need to tell me everything!”

“Ok,” I chuckled. “But first, Jordan wanted me to tell you something…” Pressing the correct buttons on my cell, I pulled up the message he just sent me and handed her the phone.

“Oh,” she sighed and placed a hand over her heart. “That’s the sweetest thing.” Handing me back my phone she started on how awesome she thought Jordan was. “…and he won’t be as controlling as Josh.”