Underneath The Facade

I was hoping that Mike would smarten up, go after Eric or at least call him but he didn’t. He was being a jerk, as far as I was concerned and nothing like the man I thought I loved a long time ago. It’s funny how things work out, I always held on to the hope that Mike really wasn’t gay and that he would come back to sweep me off my feet but if that happened, I wouldn’t be where I was with Josh, I wouldn’t be as happy as I was.

Mike came in the living room where the three of us were sitting, trying to ignore him because we weren’t happy with the way he left things with Eric. “Come on guys,” he sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa. “Is this what you came here for? To be mad at me all day?”

When neither one of us answered, he sighed. “You don’t know what’s going on with us and –”

“Well tell us,” I cut him off.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he snapped at me. “It’s between Eric and me,” he groaned. “We’ll work it out, but for now can the four of us have a little fun? And maybe a little breakfast?” He leaned back, rubbing his stomach. “I’m starving.”

The mention of breakfast got the boys attention, soon the three of them were tossing around places we could go but Jordan was still a little cranky, he didn’t want to drive anywhere. Even Mike and Nick’s offers to drive his truck were shot down with, ‘like hell I’m letting either of you drive my truck’, so they changed their conversation to what Mike had in the apartment to eat.

While the three of them argued about what they wanted, I sat there, not saying a word. At first I think I was still a little upset about Eric that I didn’t feel all that hungry but soon my stomach was growling and there was only one thing I wanted.

“Jordy?” I turned sideways towards him, drawing my feet up under me as I did so. He turned his head in my direction when I said his name, his eyes meeting mine, he didn’t say a word but the upward arc of his brow asked the question for him.

“Do you know what I’m hungry for?” I asked him. “Do you know what I’m craving right now?” I don’t know if he realized that he did it but the moment I stopped speaking, his eyes slid to my lips for a brief second, so brief, I would’ve missed it if I blinked.

“No,” he frowned. “I don’t know what you want Anna.”

A smile spread across my face as I wrapped my hands around his bicep and leaned into him, “You know when we were still living together and I got really sick? I couldn’t eat a damn thing for days?” He nodded slowly. “Well do you remember the first thing you made for me when I could eat again?”

“Yeah,” he laughed, “Jordy’s extra special, make Anna feel better, French toast.” I told him that was it. “Is that what you want?”

I nodded, “Yes, if you don’t mind making them, I think it’ll be great to have them again.”

In no time at all, the guys agreed that French toast sounded good. “If it’s ok, I’ll fry some bacon to go along with them,” Nick said to Mike as they all headed off to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Mike returned to the living room. “There’s nothing for me to do,” he told me as he plopped down next to me, turning to me. “I was wondering - what was so ‘extra special’ about Jordan’s French toast?”

I made a show of looking around to make sure no one was around to hear what I was about to tell him and then I leaned into him. “Nothing,” I whispered. “I believe they were just normal French toast but it was the only thing I was able to keep down and Jordan was so happy; I called them ‘extra special’.”

Mike shook his head, laughing. “You know,” he said when he stopped. “I don’t know why you two didn’t get together; you two are good for each other.”

“Mike,” my smile disappeared when he said that.

“I know,” he held up his hands. “You are with Josh, who you love but…” he pulled his feet up on the couch, leaning his shoulder into the back of the sofa. “Between you and me, have you ever thought about Jordan like that? Being more than just your friend?”

I closed my eyes, sighing. “Mike you know all about the drama at the beginning of this year, why do you even have to bring all this back up? I’m with Josh and I love him, there’s nothing more to say on the matter.”

“Ahh,” Mike sighed, “I can hope, can’t I?”

“Hope for what?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “That my little brother finds a woman who he can be himself with, to live the rest of his life as happy as possible?”

“He has Bella Mike, it’s not like…” Mike gave me this look that made me stop. “He does, doesn’t he?” He shook his head. “What?” I jumped up straighter on the sofa, my brows drawn down in confusion. “There must be some mistake.”

Again Mike shook his head, “No Anna there isn’t. Jordan and Bella broke up…” he paused, he seemed to be thinking. “…about two weeks ago.”

“No friggin’ way!” I exclaimed. “But how…why…” I sunk back into the sofa. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

According to Mike, the only reason he knew was because he was razzing him about Bella. “He was getting mad, I thought it was all due to what I was saying but suddenly he snapped told me that Bella broke up with him before hanging up on me.”

I was shocked, I thought for sure that they were doing fine; Bella hadn’t given me any indication that there was anything wrong between them. In fact, it was only a couple days ago, before she left to go back to visit her brother, to help him pack his stuff so he could move down here, that I spoke to her, and she didn’t say anything when I mentioned getting together with her and Jordan when she got back.

“Did he say why?”

“No, I tried to get him to tell me what happened but he refused; told me to mind my own business.”

Nick called out to Mike at that point, so I didn’t get to ask him if Jordan said anything else, gave any hints as to what was going on.

I got off the sofa, wandered out to the kitchen where the boys where. I stood back, watching them as they joked around and I couldn’t help but wonder why he never told me.

And why I never knew until that day that there was something wrong with him. Wondering that made me curious if he was keeping anything else from me.

In the middle of my wondering, Jordan turned towards me, a plate piled high with French toast in his hand and a smile on his face.

“Come on babe, breakfast is ready.”