Future

I have to be honest, for a split second after Jordan told me that he wanted us to get a house together, I felt disappointed. I know it’s crazy but yes, I was kind of, especially with all that he was saying, expecting him to ask me to marry him. With all that we’ve been through together and how well we loved and laughed, I wouldn’t have said no, I can guarantee you that!

But with that said, there was a bigger part of me that was relieved. That’s right, relieved! I guess most wouldn’t understand it but let me try to explain. After everything that happened with Josh, the saying one thing and then doing another, I was looking for Jordan to stick to something that we both agreed on. I didn’t want to bring Jordan home with me and have what happened the night Josh and I broke up, happen to us.

I know, it’s not healthy, comparing my relationship with Jordan to the one I had with Josh but you know what? I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I don’t want all the drama and I don’t want to wake up one day to find Jordan gone. He means the world to me.

Although, I still wasn’t getting it. I didn’t understand why he was talking about buying a house together when he had a house, which he owned, that was good enough. My confusion must’ve been showing on my face because his smile faded and he pulled back from me.

“I was just thinking out loud,” he said quickly as he rolled onto his back. “We don’t have to talk about it again if you don’t want too.”

Sighing, I shoved up on my elbow so I could gaze down at him. When my hand came to rest on his chest, he closed his eyes and squeezed them tight. I smiled, “You know I don’t disappear when you do that, right?”

“I know,” his hand slid up over my arm as he opened his eyes. “Some times I get an idea and run with it, you know that.” He looked away, “I thought you would be a little excited by the idea.”

My eyes widened, “A little?” I squeaked. “Are you kidding me? I’m super excited about living with you again but…”

He crinkled his nose. “I don’t like the ‘but’, can we remove it?”

“Jordy, it’s not a bad ‘but’!” I chuckled softly. “As I was saying, I’m excited about living with you again but I don’t understand, what’s wrong with your house? Why do you want to get another one?”

“My house is too small,” he told me.

“Too small?” I shook my head. “No it’s not.”

“Yeah,” he rose up on his elbow. “There isn’t a basement, the front yard is crap and the backyard isn’t big enough. Plus, there are only three bedrooms and only one bathroom.”

“How many rooms do you need Jordy?”

“Well,” he held up his hand, fingers folded down. As soon as he started to speak, he extended a finger. “There’s our room and a room for Jenna when she visits – oh! There’s a possibility that I’ll get to have Jenna during Christmas! I asked Heather when I called her and she told me she would think about it but yes, I would get to spend some of Christmas with Jenna.”

“Jordy that’s great!” My heart leapt in my chest as I hugged him tight. “Oh my God! This is wonderful!”

“I was so excited, I felt like crying. How messed up is that?”

Smiling, I reached my hand up to his cheek to stroke it. “It’s not messed up Jordy.”

His hand cupped over mine. “It’s going to be the best Christmas of my life, between Jenna and you; I don’t think I’ll need anything else.”

I blushed. How could I not? Every time he says stuff like that, my heart skips a beat and my whole body tingles. Plus there’s the huge smile that appears out of nowhere - a smile that seemed to widen whenever his eyes met mine.

“But why do you need more rooms?” I asked him. “Even with a guest bedroom, you’ll only need three.”

“Right now.”

“Right now?” I frowned. “Planning on taking on roommates?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, tiny little roommates.” He grinned. “Maybe a couple tiny little roommates? Boy, girl, it doesn’t really matter to me as long as they are healthy.”

“Babies?” I squeaked.

He nodded slowly. “Yes Anna, babies. I told you I’ve been thinking about the future and I know my future is with you – it has always been with you. I want us to look for a home now so that when we do decide to have children, we won’t have to worry about where we live.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I…I…” I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I knew he was thinking about the future but I never imagined that he was thinking about starting a family with me. Well, I imagined it, but I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t think of it because I didn’t want to push the issue.

“You seemed surprised,” he stated.

“Well…yeah!” I stared at him. “Why wouldn’t I be Jordan? I didn’t expect any of this tonight. I honestly thought that we wouldn’t talk about our future for another two months.” I gave a little laugh. “I thought I would have to be the one to bring it up,” I admitted to him. “I was expecting to have to convince you to take the next step.”

Jordan smiled at me. “I can understand that but I want you to know that I’m serious about this. I want to take this step.”

“Ok.” I grinned. “Ok! Yes!” I jumped him, rolling him onto his back as I moved over him as I planned kisses all over his face. “Let’s look at houses!”

Later that night, as we crawled under the covers together, Jordan asked me what I thought about Scott’s job offer. “It sounds like it would be something that you would be good at.”

“Personnel manager?” I laughed. “I don’t think I’m up for that.”

“Why not?” He snuggled up behind me and held me tight. “I believe that you would be great at it Anna, people respond to you.”

“Maybe,” I looked back at him. “But the payroll thing? I don’t know if I could handle having to deal with pay issues.”

“You’ll be great,” he repeated as he pressed his face against the back of my neck.

As I fell asleep in his arms that night, I felt so optimistic about the future – something that I hadn’t felt for a long, long time. It was the best feeling ever.