Making It Last

While I joked about him having a short fuse, inside I was wondering if our first time together would be brief. Would he be able to hold on long enough to take me over the edge with him? I tried to tell myself that it wouldn’t matter if he couldn’t – that it wouldn’t mean he would never be able to take me with him – it just meant that the years of anticipation was too much.

Who are you kidding? I thought as I stared up into his green eyes as he held himself up from my body. It would be extremely disappointing if he came too quickly.

“Anna?” His brow creased in the center. “Babe what’s wrong? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Are you kidding me?” I chuckled. “I want you more than anything else right now.” I attempted to kiss him but he pulled away from me and fell to his side on the mattress beside me. “Jordy?” I bit my lip nervously as I turned my head towards him. “What’s wrong? Do you not want to -?”

“Of course I want to - I’ve been thinking about nothing but making love to you for a while Anna.”

“You plan on taking me from the side?” I joked.

He didn’t laugh. “No,” he replied seriously. “I’m giving you a chance to tell me now if you are having second thoughts.”

“Jordy,” I shook my head. “No.”

“It would be alright Anna. I would try to understand.”

“Try to understand?” I stared at him in disbelief. “You don’t believe that I want you, do you?”

“It doesn’t matter if I believe or not, I know hesitation when I see it in your eyes.”

I had to laugh; I would’ve cried if I didn’t. “Jordy, no that’s not what it you saw at all.”

“Then what was it?” He asked. “I know I saw something and it wasn’t your eyes screaming, ‘take me now!’”

With a smile, I leaned in to kiss his lips. Taking his hand in mine, I held it against my stomach. “I feel stupid,” I told him. “I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a bad thing if you lost it before we could finish.”

“What?” His eyes widened in shock. “You think I’m going to get off and leave you hanging?” Underneath his surprise, there was hurt. It was even worse when I told him I was sorry. He sighed, “Anna you really have to stop thinking. I promised to make your fantasies come true, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Then tell me, which of your fantasies involve me being totally selfish and using you just to get off?” When I told him neither one, he smiled. “Good because I have to tell you that would be one fantasy that would remain unfulfilled.”

I expected him to kiss me, I expected that he would go back to what we were doing before I ruined it all but he didn’t, he just laid there beside me with his eyes closed and a smile on his face.

With every second that ticked by, I became more and more frustrated. I started to imagine his hand that was on my stomach sliding beneath my panties and caressing me while he kissed me; his tongue mimicking the motion of his fingers as they slid in and out of me. I bit my lip but that didn’t stop me from groaning his name as I squirmed.

He didn’t even open his eyes! He just chuckled softly while his arm slipped around my waist.

“Well,” I huffed. “If you are tired maybe you should turn off the lights.”

“Good idea,” he responded before rolling onto his other side to sit up on the mattress. Before he stood up, he flipped on the lamp beside his bed and then stretched. “I’ll be right back,” he told me as he shoved off and went over to the light switch by the door.

I was disappointed, hurt, confused, angry, and yet, still very turned on. I figured that what I had said earlier had ruin the moment so I slipped off his bed and headed for the door to finally change into my pjs.

“Hey,” his arm sprung out in front of me, stopping me from making it all the way to the door. “Where are you going?”

“To change,” I told him.

He frowned, “Why?”

“I’m not about to sleep in this,” I motioned to the dress whose straps kept falling down my arms since he unzipped me in the hallway.

The crease in his forehead disappeared as his eyes traveled from my face to my shoulders. “Well,” his eyes traveled a little lower and stayed there as he told me that he had plenty shirts that I could sleep in. “Did you have any particular request?” He asked and turned, reluctantly, towards his dresser.

“Yes,” I told him as I followed him. He nodded and opened his drawer before turning towards me and asking which one I was interested in. “This one,” I reached out and grabbed the front of the shirt he was wearing. “I want this.”

His brow arched as he grinned. “If you want it Babe, take it.”

A small smile played on my lips as I gazed up into his eyes before lowering my gaze to the front of his shirt where my fingers played with a button. I rocked up onto my toes, gave him a smile and then leaned against him. “Don’t worry,” I whispered against his neck. “I plan on it.”

While my fingers made easy work unbuttoning his shirt, my lips trailed along his neck. When the last button was done, I pressed my lips against his throat and groaned. “I don’t want your shirt,” I admitted. “I want you.”

Against my lips, I felt the vibration of his growl before he pulled away from me and spun me around. “Tell me how much you want me,” he demanded as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips against the back of my neck.

My eyes closed and my mouth opened as he sent shivers through my body, but I was incapable of speech while he kissed down my neck before moving to nip gently at my shoulder. His arms tightened around me, “Tell me you need me,” he whispered, almost pleadingly.

I shifted against him as I turned to gazed back at him. “I’m dying here,” I whispered. “And you are the only one who can save me.” I moved to kiss him but he turned his cheek and released me. “Jordy?” I cried in frustration. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?” He questioned as he came to stand in front of me.

“Playing with me!” I exclaimed. “You are playing with me, making me think that we are going to take our relationship to the next level and then stopping.”

“How does that make you feel?” He lifted his hand to my neck and began to run his fingers gently over my sensitive skin.

“I –” I started to turn my head towards his hand and then realized that he was doing it again. “Stop it,” I whimpered. “Stop toying with me.”

His hand paused at my neck. “I didn’t think I was playing with you,” he told me. “I love you and I’ve waited a long time for this night.” His hand dropped from my neck. “I just wanted tonight to last forever – I wanted to last – that’s why I slow things down.”

I watched him head towards the bed, plop down on it and rake his hands through his hair before he sighed and looked at me. “This isn’t the way I saw it going.”

“How did you see tonight going?” I was curious.

He chuckled, “You would’ve gone to your old room without a fight, found the gift I left for you and recalled the first time I gave you a naked massage.”

I played with the strap of my dress, “And then what?”

“Well,” his eyes flicked to my chest and he coughed. “I would…I mean…you.” He groaned and started again. “Then I had hoped you’d come find me and let me do it again, this time letting me massage every inch of your body, not just your back and shoulders.”

“Sounded like something I would’ve really enjoyed,” I stated with a smile.

“Yeah,” he leaned back and rested his hands on the mattress behind him. “But it didn’t happen…” his words trailed off as I slipped one arm out of the dress.

“What stopped you from doing it?” I inquired while slipping my other arm out and letting the top part of the dress fall down to my hips. “Jordy?”

“Huh?” His eyes jumped from my lacy bra to my face, he looked clueless.

“You want to know what I think happened.” I asked as I hooked my thumbs under the dress.

“Uh…” his eyes traveled downwards.

I chuckled. “I believe you want too much to happen tonight.”

“What?” He shook his head. “No that’s not…”

I started to wiggle out of my dress. It wasn’t necessary as the dress wasn’t that tight and it could have easily come down but I loved the look on his face as he tried to watch my breasts and my hips at the same time.

“Yes,” I stepped out of the dress and started towards him. “Like me, you’ve been thinking about this night forever and you wanted it to be perfect.”

He rose to his feet as I came to a stop in front of him. “Is that so wrong Anna?”

“No,” I tilted my head back as I slid my hands up over his chest. “It’s not wrong at all.”

He sighed, “Then why didn’t it turn out right?”

“It didn’t?” I kissed his jaw. “I think it’s turning out pretty damn good. What do you think?” I raised a brow. “I’m standing here, in your arms, in just my bra and panties and you –” I glanced downwards and chuckled, “You are wearing way too much still.”

“Funny,” he brushed his lips against my forehead. “I was thinking the same thing about you.”

“Well,” I lifted my face towards his. “There is one way to fix that.”

“True,” he agreed as his lips brushed against mine.

I melted against him, I knew that this was it, everything from this moment on would be perfect, even if it wasn’t as he planned.