Mid-Night Meeting

The drive into town, from Zack’s, normally takes about a half hour. At least it does when it’s not 3 in the morning. You would think that it would’ve been enough time to come up with some idea of how to say what I needed to say but it didn’t seem like enough. I didn’t know what I was going to say.

I was nervous. I knew I had to do this. I needed to talk to him about everything that was going on. I wanted to be completely honest with him because he deserved it. I hadn’t been that honest with him, in fact I hadn’t been completely honest with myself. I knew that, deep down.

I came to a stop in front of his place about twenty minutes after I left home. I thought I would have a minute or two to get the beating of my heart under control before I saw him but I didn’t. He was sitting out on the front steps in a white t-shirt and black shorts with his head in his hands.

“Hey,” I plopped down beside him, nudging him with my shoulder.

“Imagine running into you at this hour on your steps.”

He laughed, “Yeah, what are the odds of that happening?”

“Pretty good, I guess.” I smiled at him. “I did call you but…” I frowned. “Why are you sitting out here?”

“I fell asleep,” he said sheepishly. “After you called.”

“Oh,”

“Yeah, so I figured that I should get up. I went out on my couch and started to drift off again. I figured that it would be best to get out into the cool night.” He paused to look upwards for a moment as his hand slipped onto my knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before resting it there. “The stars are so bright tonight.”

“Yeah,” I sighed as I stared upwards with him. “Do you see either of the dippers?”

“Mmm,” he leaned in close to me, his hand lifted from my knee to slip it around my shoulders. “I believe that’s one there,” he said as he leaned into me, his breath drifted across my cheek as he pointed skywards. Then a second later his face was buried against the curve of my neck as he took a deep but shaky breath. “Oh God baby, you smell so good tonight.”

“Josh,” I grinned as I tilted my head to give him better access. “You are very intoxicating tonight as well honey.”

“You don’t think…” he nipped at my skin. “Do you want to go inside?” He gazed at me hopefully. “We could curl up together, cuddle….”

“I would love to Josh but -”

He groaned, “But that’s not why you came here tonight.” He slipped his arm from my shoulders and sighed, “You want to talk.”

I wanted to tell him that I wanted to run upstairs with him and crawl into bed but he was right, I did need to talk. “Maybe we could go for a walk?”
He took a moment. “Sure,” he said finally as he stood up. “Let’s go for a walk,” he held out hand to me.

We headed down towards the lake near his apartment building. On our way down, he tucked my hand into the crook of his arm. We walked along the paved path for a good ten minutes, neither one of us spoke, we just walked arm in arm along the path.

“So?” He turned to me when we approached the lookout. “What’s on your mind honey?”

I was having second thoughts, I didn’t know if this was really what I needed to do. Sure, I wanted to talk about it but now that I had the chance, I wasn’t sure what it was that I wanted to say.

“Does this have something to do with why I wanted to talk to your brother tonight?” He lifted my chin upwards. “I’m sure he told you want I asked him.”

I nodded. “Yes, he did. He told me that you asked him for his permission to marry me?” I shot him a questioning look as he dropped his hand. "Why would you do that Josh? I thought we were trying to work through our issues.”

“We were - are! We are,” he sighed. “I guess I just wanted things to go faster than they were going. I thought that it would be one thing out of the way when we finally worked through everything. I mean -” he ran a hand through his hair. “I thought he would…well…”

“Well what?” My hands found their way to his waist on their own; my fingers curled around his shirt as I stood in front of him.

“I thought that he was my friend, I thought that he was on our side. I thought he wanted us to be happy but apparently I was wrong.”

“Because he told you that he didn’t think we were ready for marriage right now?” I asked him. “You think that Zack is against us because he knows we are having problems and he wants us to work through them before he take the next step?”

“No Anna,” Josh pushed my hands away. “He’s against us because I’m not the 24 year old green eyed jerk who keeps interfering in our relationship!”

“Zack doesn’t-”

“Don’t!” Josh turned from me and pressed his hands against the railing.

“Josh come on,” I went to him, stood beside him, my hip rested against the railing at his hand. “You know that’s not true, Zack doesn’t -”

“He does Anna.”

“No,” I shook my head.

“Yes,” Josh looked at me. “He does. He told me so tonight.” I stared up at him in disbelief. “Yeah sweetheart, your oh so sweet brother told me that he didn’t think I was right for you, that that little prick was more of your type.”

“Josh,” I gasped. “What the heck? What’s with all the…anger?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m sick and tired of all this crap Anna.”

“What?” I took a step back, there was something in his eyes that scared me. “What are you saying Josh?”

“I’m saying,” he grabbed me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes. “I’m sick and tired of being played for a fool. I hear the whispers, I see the looks. And tonight your brother was nice enough to spell it out. No one thinks that I’m worthy of their precious little angel!” He shoved me away. “Well I’m sick of it! I’m done with this crap! If you want that little bastard, have at him!”