Asking For Trouble

I didn’t realize what I was doing, how rashly I was acting, until the second ring sounded in my ear. I had just formed the thought that I should just hang up and forget about it. It’s not like this will be the first time Conner will lose a friend, I tried to tell myself but that didn’t seem to convince me. I didn’t want to be the reason my nephew lost his friend. I didn’t want my failed relationship to hurt anyone else.

Just when I thought that he wasn’t going to answer his cell I heard his hesitant ‘hello’.

“What are you doing?” I asked him without so much as a hello on my end. I didn’t want to waste time with pleasantries.

“Anna?” He sounded really surprised to hear my voice.

“Yeah,” I rolled my eyes. “What do you think you are doing?”

“I…umm well hon -” he sighed, stopping himself. “I’m on my way to pick up Jesse from Carol’s for the summer.” He paused and then threw in a hopeful, “did you want to come with me?”

“No,” I scoffed at his hopefulness. “Why the hell would I…” I turned to see Zack watching me curiously. Damn it! I didn’t want anyone to know what happened with Josh yet, not until I had all the answers I needed to understand it myself. With all the positive energy I could muster, I smiled at Zack and cheerfully told Josh that sounded good.

“What does?” He asked and needlessly added that he was confused. When I told him to swing by and pick me up shocked silence followed.

“Are you still there?” I asked a little impatiently.

“I think there’s something wrong with my hearing,” he told me. “I swear I just heard you say to pick you up but that’s not possible since you told me last -”

I shrugged, “Well if you don’t want too…”

“No!” He exclaimed. “I never said that! I just - well I’m surprised that’s all. I can be there in ten minutes, is that ok?”

I hung up the phone without giving him an answer, I didn’t even realize it until after I was down stairs cleaning up and changing out of my sweats so I didn’t look like crap when he saw me. It’s not like I care, I told myself. I just don’t want him to think that without him I’m a mess.

Ten minutes later, I made my way upstairs as Zack was in the process of inviting Josh in. “Don’t bother,” I mumbled as I walked towards them. “He’s not staying.” I ignored Zack’s raised brow and questioning look as I walked out into the bright sunshine.

On my way to Josh’s car, I couldn’t believe that I was doing this. Why did I make plans to see the man who I told, only a few hours ago, I didn’t want to see ever again?