Reflection

In the early morning hours of the first Sunday in November, I found myself sitting in the world’s most uncomfortable chair with a can of Pepsi in my hand, staring out the window at the snowflakes as they drifted lazily to the ground.

Three feet away from me, wrapped up in the warm blankets of the hotel bed, Jordan laid on his stomach with his arm thrown over the pillow that I abandoned a while ago when I woke up and couldn’t fall back to sleep.

I didn’t want to be up. If I would’ve had a choice I would be under his carelessly thrown out arm instead of the pillow but with all the tossing and turning I was doing I didn’t want to wake him up, so I reluctantly pulled my tired but not sleepy body out of the bed.

There was so much on my mind, I believe that’s why I wasn’t able to sleep all that well. What with Jordan telling me that he would like for us to start a life together and Scott offering me a job? There was so much I had to think about and to be honest, I didn’t know what to do with Scott’s offer. Jordan’s was a lot easier, I knew I wanted this step to happen, it felt so right the moment he mentioned it.

But the job? Closing my eyes, I sighed heavily.

We had just sat down at one of the few remaining tables in the busy hotel lounge, when a server came over to see how we were doing and if we wanted anything to drink. Scott, who was seated across the table from Jordan, who was next to me, leaned in over the table and told us that all drinks were on him. “I’m celebrating and you guys are my guests.”

After the server left, I asked Scott what it was we were celebrating.
“A new adventure,” he replied.

“Oh?” I raised a brow. “You are taking a trip? Where you going? How long are you going to be gone?”

Across from me, Kim laughed. “He’s not taking a trip Anna. He’s…” Kim’s smile faded, she lowered her head. “He’s moving.”

“Kim come on,” Scott slipped his arm around her shoulders. “It’s not for a couple months yet and you never know, maybe you’ll want to come with me?”

“I can’t,” she replied. “I still have a year of school left.”

“Aren’t you out in May?” Kim nodded. “Then come up then. Spend the summer with me.”

“Excuse me,” I cut in. “Come up where? Where are you moving Scott and why?”

“Think about it,” Scott said to Kim before turning to smile at me. “I’ve been trying to get my own hotel for a while,” he started. “I’m tired of working under my dad and I know I could do it but the rest of the family wasn’t convinced – until dad got sick a couple months ago and I had to step up to the plate.” He went on to tell us that he was amazing while his dad was recovering. “Even my grandparents thought so and they never think I do anything right.”

“So when they decided to build a couple new hotels out of the city, they told me that I was finally going to get my chance – they just didn’t know which one I would get – they were thinking the one closest to the city so if I screw up, they would be near enough to help out. But a week ago they called me into dad’s office and told me that they decided to give the hotel nearest the city to my cousin – she’s horrible but they think she’ll be ok.”
I frowned. “But you are getting your own hotel still, right? That’s what we are celebrating?”

“Yes,” he grinned. “They told me they believed in me.”

“So?” I smiled at him. “Where are you going?”

“Well…” Scott glanced at Kim and then turned back to Jordan and me. “Have you noticed something going on across the highway from your work?” He shrugged. “Maybe construction on –”

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed. “That’s you? That’s where your new hotel is going to be?”

“Yeah,” he nodded excitedly. “That’s my hotel!”

I jumped up from my seat and quickly made my way around the table to him. He stood up and I threw my arms around his neck. “This is awesome!”

“I know,” he hugged me. “It’s better than I could imagine. Your area is so unexplored hotel wise and there is such a huge demand with the oilfields and military in your backyard.”

Releasing him, I laughed. “Yeah, I know. That’s why my store is so busy all the time, even though it’s in a small area.”

We moved away from each other and returned to our seats. “So are you going to be moving up before the hotel is finished? Or -?”

“I’m waiting until the hotel is closer to opening before I look for a house,” he told us. “But I do have an agent keeping an eye out for something that would suit my needs.”

We talked about the hotel and him moving for a while and then he told me that was really what he wanted to talk to me about. “Now I may be wrong and please, correct me if I am but…” he glanced at Jordan. “Anna, from what I know from the couple days we spent together, you seem to have a nack for making people comfortable and reading them. You seem to know how to bring the best out of those around you and have fun while you do it.”

Jordan glanced at me before telling Scott that I’m also a nosey girl who butts into everyone’s business.

“Hey!” I gave him a dirty look and he just laughed.

“You know it’s true Babe. How many times have you gotten in trouble for butting in?”

“Oh shush,” I kissed him. “I cared – not butted in.”

“Even the butting in is a good thing,” Scott said with a laugh.

“Why?” Jordan asked him. “What point are you trying to make?”

“It’s simple,” Scott turned to me. “I want you to work for me Anna. I need a personnel manager who I can get along with and trust. And someone who knows the community and the people who I’m looking to pull employees from.”

Jordan mumbling in his sleep brought me back to the present. “I don’t have to decide today,” I yawned. Scott told me to think about it, Jordan told me to think about it and that’s what I was going to do. “But right now,” I pushed out of the chair.

Crawling into the empty spot behind Jordan, I curled my body around his. When he wiggled his butt back to rest firmly, I couldn’t help but chuckle. With my arm around his waist, I settled down and closed my eyes. Sleep came quickly and stayed with me until Jordan nudged me awake hours later.

Future

I have to be honest, for a split second after Jordan told me that he wanted us to get a house together, I felt disappointed. I know it’s crazy but yes, I was kind of, especially with all that he was saying, expecting him to ask me to marry him. With all that we’ve been through together and how well we loved and laughed, I wouldn’t have said no, I can guarantee you that!

But with that said, there was a bigger part of me that was relieved. That’s right, relieved! I guess most wouldn’t understand it but let me try to explain. After everything that happened with Josh, the saying one thing and then doing another, I was looking for Jordan to stick to something that we both agreed on. I didn’t want to bring Jordan home with me and have what happened the night Josh and I broke up, happen to us.

I know, it’s not healthy, comparing my relationship with Jordan to the one I had with Josh but you know what? I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. I don’t want all the drama and I don’t want to wake up one day to find Jordan gone. He means the world to me.

Although, I still wasn’t getting it. I didn’t understand why he was talking about buying a house together when he had a house, which he owned, that was good enough. My confusion must’ve been showing on my face because his smile faded and he pulled back from me.

“I was just thinking out loud,” he said quickly as he rolled onto his back. “We don’t have to talk about it again if you don’t want too.”

Sighing, I shoved up on my elbow so I could gaze down at him. When my hand came to rest on his chest, he closed his eyes and squeezed them tight. I smiled, “You know I don’t disappear when you do that, right?”

“I know,” his hand slid up over my arm as he opened his eyes. “Some times I get an idea and run with it, you know that.” He looked away, “I thought you would be a little excited by the idea.”

My eyes widened, “A little?” I squeaked. “Are you kidding me? I’m super excited about living with you again but…”

He crinkled his nose. “I don’t like the ‘but’, can we remove it?”

“Jordy, it’s not a bad ‘but’!” I chuckled softly. “As I was saying, I’m excited about living with you again but I don’t understand, what’s wrong with your house? Why do you want to get another one?”

“My house is too small,” he told me.

“Too small?” I shook my head. “No it’s not.”

“Yeah,” he rose up on his elbow. “There isn’t a basement, the front yard is crap and the backyard isn’t big enough. Plus, there are only three bedrooms and only one bathroom.”

“How many rooms do you need Jordy?”

“Well,” he held up his hand, fingers folded down. As soon as he started to speak, he extended a finger. “There’s our room and a room for Jenna when she visits – oh! There’s a possibility that I’ll get to have Jenna during Christmas! I asked Heather when I called her and she told me she would think about it but yes, I would get to spend some of Christmas with Jenna.”

“Jordy that’s great!” My heart leapt in my chest as I hugged him tight. “Oh my God! This is wonderful!”

“I was so excited, I felt like crying. How messed up is that?”

Smiling, I reached my hand up to his cheek to stroke it. “It’s not messed up Jordy.”

His hand cupped over mine. “It’s going to be the best Christmas of my life, between Jenna and you; I don’t think I’ll need anything else.”

I blushed. How could I not? Every time he says stuff like that, my heart skips a beat and my whole body tingles. Plus there’s the huge smile that appears out of nowhere - a smile that seemed to widen whenever his eyes met mine.

“But why do you need more rooms?” I asked him. “Even with a guest bedroom, you’ll only need three.”

“Right now.”

“Right now?” I frowned. “Planning on taking on roommates?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, tiny little roommates.” He grinned. “Maybe a couple tiny little roommates? Boy, girl, it doesn’t really matter to me as long as they are healthy.”

“Babies?” I squeaked.

He nodded slowly. “Yes Anna, babies. I told you I’ve been thinking about the future and I know my future is with you – it has always been with you. I want us to look for a home now so that when we do decide to have children, we won’t have to worry about where we live.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“I…I…” I didn’t know what to say. Yes, I knew he was thinking about the future but I never imagined that he was thinking about starting a family with me. Well, I imagined it, but I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t think of it because I didn’t want to push the issue.

“You seemed surprised,” he stated.

“Well…yeah!” I stared at him. “Why wouldn’t I be Jordan? I didn’t expect any of this tonight. I honestly thought that we wouldn’t talk about our future for another two months.” I gave a little laugh. “I thought I would have to be the one to bring it up,” I admitted to him. “I was expecting to have to convince you to take the next step.”

Jordan smiled at me. “I can understand that but I want you to know that I’m serious about this. I want to take this step.”

“Ok.” I grinned. “Ok! Yes!” I jumped him, rolling him onto his back as I moved over him as I planned kisses all over his face. “Let’s look at houses!”

Later that night, as we crawled under the covers together, Jordan asked me what I thought about Scott’s job offer. “It sounds like it would be something that you would be good at.”

“Personnel manager?” I laughed. “I don’t think I’m up for that.”

“Why not?” He snuggled up behind me and held me tight. “I believe that you would be great at it Anna, people respond to you.”

“Maybe,” I looked back at him. “But the payroll thing? I don’t know if I could handle having to deal with pay issues.”

“You’ll be great,” he repeated as he pressed his face against the back of my neck.

As I fell asleep in his arms that night, I felt so optimistic about the future – something that I hadn’t felt for a long, long time. It was the best feeling ever.

Fears

“So what are you going to do?” Jordan peeked at me as he slid the key card into its slot.

“I don’t know,” I told him honestly. “Maybe I’ll just think about it for a while and get back to him when it’s closer to really happening.”
He pushed the door open for me. “So you don’t wish to talk about it right now?”

Walking past him, I tilted my head and smiled up at him. “I would love to talk it out with you; do you want to?”

“Well….” He slowly blew out his breath. “If I have too.”

“Jordy!” Laughing, I wrapped my arms around his waist and gazed up at him. “You don’t have to but what else would we do if we don’t?”

“Ohhhh…” He glanced upwards quickly as his arms slipped around me. As he walked me backwards slowly, he told me he could think of something. “Maybe even something that involves talking if you wish,” he whispered against my neck as my calves came up solid on the foot of the bed.

“Oh?” I bit my lip then, a little breathless, I asked him what kind of words would be said.

His lips trailed up my neck, nipping gently as they went. When his lips brushed my earlobe his hands slipped from behind my back, up over my arms, to my shoulders. With a groan, he lifted his head and flashed me a sexy grin that honestly made my knees weak – which he took advantage of to get me to sit on the bed.

“Oh I don’t know,” he shrugged nonchalantly as he moved back. “Maybe a little, ‘oh my God…JORDY!’” As he spoke, he tugged his shirt up over his head, tossing at me before reaching for the button on his jeans.

My eyebrows shot up as my eyes jumped to his hands. “That….yeah…”

He chuckled, “You think so?”

“Mmmhmm,” I nodded eagerly. “Continue?”

Lowering his chin to his chest, Jordan caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he undone his jeans. When I gasped, he looked in my direction. “Getting a little excited Babe?” He plopped down next to me. “Does the thought of me naked get you…?” His hand slipped over my thigh as he leaned in to kiss me.

“Excited?” I kissed him back. “Yes.”

“Me too,” he whispered as his mouth covered mine completely while his hand caressed my cheek. Locked together, we fell back against the mattress, Jordan moving half over me as we continued to kiss. “You are so beautiful Babe,” he mumbled in between kisses. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too – ow!” I cried out as I rolled onto something.

“What? What?”

“I rolled onto something.”

Jordan pulled me to him as he leaned over and looked behind me. “It’s ok Ba­be it’s only –” His face feel as he held up my wallet.

“Jordan?” He rolled onto his back, still staring at my wallet. “Is everything ok?”

For the longest time he didn’t reply and when he did, he did so without looking at me. “Yeah, it’s fine,” he lied while stretching up to place my wallet on the nightstand. “Hey,” he grabbed something off the stand. “You have a message,” he handed me my cell. “Is it Josh?”

“What? No!” I scoffed. “Why would Josh call me?”

“Oh I don’t know,” he rolled away from me once again. “He did call you earlier.”

“Yeah, about the school show, no other reason than that.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Jordan? What’s going on with you? Why are you being all weird about Josh? You know there’s nothing there.”

“Weren’t you going to shower?” He sat up and reached for the hotel phone. “I need to call Heather before it gets too late.”

I couldn’t believe that he was being like this, it didn’t make any sense, not after he told me he was fine with me doing the school thing with Josh as the teacher supervisor. Determined to show him that he had nothing to worry about as far as Josh was concerned, I flipped open my phone and hit the call button.

“Please enter your pass code,” the automated voice directed me over the speaker. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jordan trying not to be obvious about watching me as I punched in my four digit code – his day of birth and mine. “You have one new message,” the voice informed me. “To hear your message, please press one. To - beeeep. New message from -” Cassie’s voice came over the line. “‘Cassie Christensen,’ sent today at….”

Jordan turned towards me as Cassie’s voice came over my cell once again, “Aunt Anna, hey! How’s it going? I hope you are having a blast because one of us should be.” I frowned and looked up at Jordan.

“The meeting about the show was a complete disaster! I can’t believe that Coach Baker wasn’t prepared at all for it! How can a man who controls the athletic part of school be so unorganized? And the bad thing? He cancelled tomorrow’s meeting! Like that’s going to help us get organized! God! I can’t wait for you to get back Aunt Anna, someone needs to get the ball rolling – someone who isn’t me apparently because I’m ‘just a kid’.” Cassie growled and mumbled something about stupid people.

“Anyway, I should go see what dad wants, he just called out to me. Have a good night Aunt Anna – go easy on Uncle Jordy! I love you both! Good night!”

The automated voice came back on and gave me the option to erase, save or delete Cassie’s message; I deleted it. Snapping my phone close, I rolled into a sitting position and sighed.

“Anna I –”

“I’m going to shower,” I told him as I pushed off the bed. “Why don’t you call Heather?”

I needed a shower. I needed to feel clean and refreshed. I also needed some time to thing about what had happened with Jordan. When did he become so testy about Josh? It didn’t make any sense.

And twenty minutes later, when I walked out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, it still didn’t make any sense. But I was determined to get to the bottom of it. “Hey,” I crossed the room and crawled onto the bed where Jordan was laid out, staring at a piece of paper in his hands. Sliding next to him, I slipped my hand over his abdomen and kissed his shoulder. “What do you have there honey?”

Without a word, he tipped the paper – or should I say, the photo - my way.

“Why do you have that?”

He shrugged.

“Jordan, come on, I know something is bugging you, please tell me what it is.”

Sighing, Jordan turned onto his side and wrapped his arm around me. “Do you care for him still Anna? Is that why you still have this photo?”

“No, I don’t.” I responded firmly. “Things are over between Josh and me Jordy. I’m with the man I love and I’m so happy. I don’t need anything else.”

“You don’t wish that you had another chance with him? Do you wish that you could go back and try again?”

I shook my head. “No Jordan, I don’t wish for anything when it comes to Josh. We did our thing, we had a good time and it went south.”

“Because of me.”

“No, because what we had wasn’t meant to be; Josh isn’t the one for me, you are. Everyone knows it. But most importantly you knew it and you never gave up on me – on us.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “You were always mine.” He pushed himself up on his elbow to place the photo on the nightstand before returning to cuddle with me.

A few kisses later, I asked him what was really wrong. “You were acting a little different long before the photo showed up.”

“Your right,” he told me. “The photo with Josh was the reason; it was just something that added to everything else.”

“What else?” I bit my lip nervously.

He was quite for a moment and then he sighed. “We’ve been dating now for, what? Four months?”

“Yes,” I grinned. “But it feels like I’ve been dating you on and off forever Jordy.”

His arms tightened around me.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” I leaned in to kiss him. “I wouldn’t be who I am without you.”

“Oh don’t blame me for that,” he teased. Then seriously, he told me that he didn’t know what he would do without me either. “When the pieces fell into place as Kim told us about Tessa, it hit me, I would be lost without you.” He shifted beside me. “I didn’t realize just how close I came to losing you – I thought the month you weren’t talking to me was bad – but to never be able to talk to you again?” He shook his head sadly. “Babe you are my life, when you aren’t around, I miss you.”

I smiled, “That’s so sweet Jordy.”

“Yeah,” he dipped his head.

“I miss you all the time,” I admitted. “I miss –”

“My house is so empty since you moved out.” He blurted out. “It used to feel like home but since you left, it’s just a house I live in. It’s not home anymore.”

“Jordy,” I chuckled. “That’s silly, it is your home.”

“It’s so hard to be there without you.”

Without stopping to think, I spoke my first thought. “What? Do you want me to move back in with you?”

“No,” he replied immediately. “I don’t want you to move in with me.”

“Oh.” I felt silly. “I guess –”

He chuckled, “Babe, I’ve been thinking about it for a while and I want to give you everything you ever dreamt about. I want to be the last person you see before you close your eyes at night and the first person you see in the morning.”

“Jordan –” I was starting to feel excited and nervous. Yes, that’s right, nervous. It was starting to sound like a marriage proposal. Now don’t get me wrong, the idea of marrying Jordan was something that I thought about, even dreamt about but we talked about it before, and we decided, together, that we wouldn’t talk about marriage for at least six months.

“I know we said we were going to take it slow but I really want to take this step now – I think we are ready for it.” He paused to kiss me softly. “I love you Anna.”

“I love you too,” I kissed him.

He smiled. “I know you already have a lot to think about with Scott’s job proposal but if it’s not too much trouble, could you think about this too?”

“Ok…”

“You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”

I shook my head.

He laughed. “Anna, I want us to look for a home together.”

Consequences

Normally when someone does something horrible to me or the people I love, I’m all for getting even. I often justify it by telling myself that it was karma – you don’t do mean things to others and not expect it to come back on you tenfold. So with that, you would think that I would’ve been happy watching Scott stride purposely towards the waitress station and Tessa, but I felt bad. I knew what he was going to do and I hated that I had anything to do with it.

The three of us – Kim, Jordan and I – tried not to stare as Scott leaned in to speak to Tessa.

“Can you tell what he’s saying?” Kim asked as she shifted in her chair to get a better look. “I can’t believe she actually did that to you. What a psycho.”

“No,” I replied. “I’m not good at lip reading.” While that is true, I had a feeling that Scott didn’t give away what he wanted to talk about because Tessa’s face lit up after he spoke to her. She nodded, with a smile and then turned to walk back through the swinging doors to the kitchen as Scott made his way towards the back of the restaurant where his dad was having coffee with a couple other men.

Once again Scott leaned in to talk. I’m guessing that he told his dad that there was an issue that he needed to deal with because soon they were both walking towards the lobby while deep in conversation.

“So?” I turned my attention back to my table companions.

“I hope they fire her.” Kim stated.

I glanced at Jordan, who hadn’t said anything since I made him sit down after he demanded to know who Tessa was. “You ok Jordy?”

He nodded. “Yeah I’m just hungry.” He looked around, “How much longer do you think the food will be?”

Within minutes our waitress appeared with both arms loaded down with food. “Let me help,” Jordan jumped and reached for the nearest plates and looked visibly upset when it wasn’t what he ordered. “Yours?” He offered the plates to Kim and then sat down to dig into the plate in front of him.

Dinner was a fairly quiet affair. Kim seemed to be preoccupied with what was going on with Scott and Tessa, she barely said a word that didn’t revolve around them. Jordan was all about the food in front of him and when he finished that, he started to eye my burger and fries that sat neglected on my plate.

“Oh here,” I slid my plate across the table to him and then rested my hand on his thigh. “Are you sure you are ok Jordan?”

“Hmmm?” He slowly turned his body towards me, his arm slipped around my shoulders and he smiled. “Babe, I’m fine – just hungry.”

As Jordan returned to his food – his arm still around my shoulders – Kim started to laugh. When I gave her a questioning look, she shook her head. “You guys are so cute.”

“Cute?” Jordan raised a brow in my direction. “Like puppy cute?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yes Jordy, puppy cute.”

“Hey!” His eyes widened. “Think if I tell Jenna that, she’ll stop wandering towards the puppies at the park?”

“Oh,” Kim sat forward. “You guys have a little girl? Do you have pictures?”

“Of course,” I replied as I reached for my wallet. “I have –” I started to laugh; Jordan was halfway over the table with his wallet opened in Kim’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” I shook my head and went to put my wallet back.

“What pictures do you have of Jenna?”

I shrugged. “I have many pictures of the kids –“

“Kids?” Kim stared at us. “You guys have more than one? Are they all as cute as this little girl? She’s so pretty.”

“Thank you,” Jordan beamed. “She takes after me.”

Kim repeated how adorable she thought Jenna was as she handed him back his wallet. “So can I see the other pictures of your kids?”

“Sure,” I opened my wallet and flipped to my pictures. As I held them out for her to see, I told her that they weren’t actually my kids. While she skimmed my photos, I told her who everyone was. It was all going great until she came to a photo I didn’t even remember having – me with Jesse, in Josh’s arms.

“You have pictures of Josh in your wallet?” Jordan sounded hurt as he stared at the photo.

I went to tell him that I didn’t know the photo was still in there – I went through my wallet and I thought I had taken everything to do with Josh out. Hell, I had gone through my room and gotten rid of anything that had anything to do with him. I didn’t want to be reminded and I didn’t want to live in the past.

“Anna?” Scott appeared at my side. “Could you come with me?”

“I –”

“Go.” Jordan turned away from me.

I can’t tell you how much that hurt, knowing that I had hurt the most important person in my life. And I didn’t even know there was a possibility that I could hurt him – I didn’t know the photo was there. Plus, I didn’t know he would react like that. It was just a photo, right?

I followed Scott into his dad’s office. I sat in a chair beside him as Tessa sat opposite, giving me a dirty look. But it didn’t matter. I didn’t care what was happening in there anymore, all I wanted to do was walk out of that office and into Jordan’s arms.

Details, I wish I could remember what was said but I don’t. I remember Scott’s dad introducing me to the hotel’s personal manager before asking me what happened the last time I was a guest at their hotel. I remember telling him that Zach thought I was on something when I finally woke up. I know I gave him my brother’s number and I know he called him. I remember talking to Zach for a brief moment where he told me that he wished he forced me to take a drug test because there was no way to prove anything now.

And I remember Tessa flipping out on me when Scott’s dad told her that her services were no longer required.

“I guess this isn’t a good time to talk about this,” Scott said as he walked me back to the restaurant where Jordan and Kim where waiting. “But I think you need to hear something good right now.”

“What happened?” Kim asked as we took our seats.

While Scott explained what went on in his dad’s office, I reached out to Jordan. When my hand slipped over his leg, he leaned in and told me we would talk about it later. “Let’s just get tonight over with.”

Scott reached for the bill the waitress placed on the table. “How about we go to the lounge for a drink?”

“Sounds good.” Jordan stood up. “I could use a drink.”

As we headed to the lounge, Jordan slipped his arm around my waist. He didn’t say anything but it didn’t matter because as long as he was close to me, I knew I didn’t ruin things.

Reliving The Past

When Jordan and I first started dating, I was worried about how he would react to me being friends with other men. Sure, he’s been my best friend my entire life and has been around throughout all my relationships so he knew what it was like to be the guy that everyone was nice too but always weary about. One of the things he told me after we decided to see where our chemistry took us was that he will not treat any male friend I have like he had been treated over the years.

“I know you have a life outside of our relationship,” he told me. “You can have the male friends you want Babe, I don’t care about who they are because I know I’m your only ‘boyfriend’.”

So you would think that it would be wrong of him to be all pouty and whatnot as he sat in the driver’s seat tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time to the song that was playing lowly on his stereo.

As I held my cell phone to my ear and watched Jordan, I started to get a little ticked off. I was thinking, how dare he call me and ask where I was? I didn’t have to answer to him anymore. He didn’t have the right to make me feel like I was doing something wrong by spending time with my boyfriend or enjoying the weekend away.

“Would you like to try that again?” I asked him.

There was an auditable pause on his end. “What do you mean?” He asked hesitantly.

“Would you like to change your demanding, accusing ‘where are you’ to a friendly ‘hello, how are you’ or something that won’t make me want to kick your butt?” Beside me Jordan chuckled and shook his head.

I know it sounds bitchy but I was seriously joking – I couldn’t kick his butt if I tried, he would overpower me in a second and he knew it.

Josh laughed. “Sorry,” he apologized and then told me he was in over his head with the show. “None of the parent volunteers showed and there are about a hundred kids here all wanting to do something with the show. I wasn’t expecting this but I should’ve known - Cassie and her friends were a little too convincing when they went out to see who would like to be a part of this show.”

I nodded; Cassie was like her mom in that sense. Mary could get anyone to do anything she asked, even if they didn’t initially want to get involved. “Cassie was supposed to tell you, I had made plans for this weekend long before she asked me to help out.”

“Plans with Jordan?” If you could hear the sound of eye rolling, it would’ve sounded like Josh did when he spoke just now.

“Yes.” I didn’t say anything else because I didn’t think I needed to remind him that Jordan was my boyfriend or that we would be doing stuff together.

“Plans that mean you can’t swing by? Even just for a few minutes?”

I shook my head. “No Josh, I couldn’t just ‘swing by’. Even if I was in town, I wouldn’t. Sorry.”

“Out of town?” He sounded a little hurt as he told me that he had planned a romantic weekend away for us when we were still together. “Didn’t happen though, we broke up the weekend before.”

I didn’t say anything; there wasn’t anything I could say to that. I wasn’t about to feel bad that Josh and I didn’t get a weekend away or anything else. I was very happy with Jordan and there wasn’t time or place for regrets or ‘what if’.

“I’m sorry,” he said finally after realizing that I wasn’t going to reply. “I shouldn’t live in the past, I know, mom tells me that all the time. She says, ‘Joshua, I know you have deep feelings for Anna and you wanted things to work but they didn’t and you need to accept it and move on; she wasn’t the woman for you’.”

I nodded. “Your mom is right Josh.”

“Is she?” He asked but didn’t give me a chance to respond before jumping in with a quick ‘gotta run’ before hanging up abruptly.

Shaking my head, I snapped my phone closed and tossed it into the back seat. Turning towards Jordan, I smiled. “So what’s next?”

Jordan looked me over and shrugged. “Did you have something else planned for this weekend Anna? Did you make plans to spend it with Josh?”

I raised a brow.

“Yeah, when I answered the phone he said, ‘I should’ve known you are the reason Anna isn’t with me this weekend’.”

I snorted. “Yeah, him and a hundred kids apparently.” When he shot me a questioning look, I shrugged. “Jordan I told you about Cassie’s show and how she asked me to volunteer…” he nodded slowly. “Well Josh is the teacher who’s overlooking the whole thing which she didn’t tell me about until after I volunteered.”

“Oh.”

“They are meeting today and tomorrow to see who can do what and go from there. I told Cassie I couldn’t go when she told me because we had talked about getting away. When Nick told me that you were doing the guy’s night with your brothers, I figured that I might as well go there and see what’s going on. That’s all, I swear.”

“So why didn’t you tell me about Josh being involved with the project as well?”

“I was waiting for the right time?” I said slowly as I shrugged. “I didn’t know how you would react because he’s an ex and I would have to work with him to some sense.”

“I can understand that,” he told me simply. “But Anna we had this talk before, I’m not worried about other men, I trust you to be true to me and our relationship.”

I grinned. “You’re right, I was being silly.”

Leaning over, he kissed me. “Yes, you were.” Sitting back in his seat, he slipped the truck into reverse. “So I was thinking, we should grab some food at the hotel and then relax in our room before meeting up with Scott in the lounge. How does that sound to you?”

It sounded like a great plan, I was so ready to go back to the hotel after spending most of the day out at the over crowded mall.

After making a stop at our room to drop off our purchases and have quick showers, Jordan and I walked into the hotel restaurant. We were waiting for a waitress to be free to come seat us when Scott appeared in front of us. “Could be a while,” he told us. “Unless you would like to join me?”

Jordan and I looked at each other. “Sure.” He smiled at Scott. “That would be great. Thanks man.”

“No problem,” Scott threw over his shoulder as he led us through the restaurant to a booth in the back where a pretty little redhead was sitting by herself. As we greeted her, Scott introduced her as his girlfriend, Kim.

“Wow,” I reached across the table again to shake her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she smiled shyly as she tucked hair behind her ear. “Scott has been telling me about you guys meeting us for drinks later and there you were. It’s crazy!”

From what I could tell from just spending the first few minutes listening to her and watching her with Scott, they seemed really happy together. But it got a little weird when it came time to order.

After Jordan and I told the waitress what we would like, she turned to Scott and he ordered for both of them. Not really a big deal right? Men order for women all the time, or they just tell the waitress what their female companion wants. But that’s not what he did, he said ‘I would like…’ and listed off what he decided on and what Kim decided on.

When the waitress turned to Kim, Kim told her that she wasn’t having anything.

Once the waitress left, Kim must’ve seen my expression because she told me she wasn’t crazy. “I just refuse to order food for myself here, not after what I heard.”

I glanced at Scott. “What did you hear?”

“There’s nothing wrong with the food,” Scott told us before turning to Kim. “There’s no proof the rumours are true Kim.”

“Maybe not,” she replied. “But I’m not taking chances.” With that said, she turned back to Jordan and me. She told me that she knew Scott through her best friend who worked in the hotel. “When we started to see each other Karen told me to be careful whenever I come here with him to eat.”
I frowned. “Why?”

“Because of Tessa –“

“There’s no proof Kim,” Scott repeated.

“Scott I know but I’m not taking that chance. She’s been nothing but rude to me when you aren’t around and I don’t trust her at all. She would be the type to do something mean and spiteful like that.”

“Like what?” I was curious.

“Well,” Kim leaned over the table. “Rumour has it that Tessa is crazy. Scott doesn’t think it’s a big deal, but she’s obsessed with him and apparently isn’t afraid to do something if some other female takes his attention away from her.”

While she was telling us this, Scott was sitting back, shaking his head. You could tell that he didn’t believe it and wasn’t about to either.

“Karen told me that a couple months ago Scott met a chick here and Tessa flipped out. The morning she was checking out, she had breakfast and Tessa tampered with it, crushing prescription sleeping pills up into the food.”

“When was this?” I asked as my heart started to pound as I started to think about my last trip to the hotel. It can’t be, I thought.

“I’m not sure,” Kim replied. “I just know that she was staying in the hotel this summer with her nieces and –­”

I felt the blood run from my face. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

Jordan, who knew about the whole not waking up after coming back from staying at the hotel with the girls, jumped up. “Which one is she?” He asked as he looked around the restaurant.

Scott asked him what his problem was.

Kim clued in right away. “Oh my God! It was you!”

Shopping

“I don’t understand it.” Jordan stood with his hands on his hips and stared off into the distance. Just moments before I had released my ‘favourite’ bowling ball of the day, a cloudy black ball that just ‘felt right’ when I used it, and watched it rolled confidently down the lane, knocking over every single pin that stood in its way.

“It’s just luck,” he tried to blow my victory off as nothing.

“Luck?” I snorted as I turned around to face him. “I got lucky six times in a row?”

“Yeah,” he crinkled his nose as he glared at the pins that just reset at the end of the lane. “The air came on or –“

“Jordy!” I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Looking up adoringly at him, I squeezed him tight. “The air didn’t come on nor did anything else happen that wasn’t going on when you were up.”

“Come on Anna, six in a row? Tell me that’s not lucky.”

“Could be luck,” I agreed. “Or it could be the time I’ve spent playing Wii Play Bowling with Natalie – I rock that game!”

“Ohhh,” he chuckled, his arms slipping around my waist. “I see; you’ve been practising.”

I tilted my head back and grinned. “Yeah well you could –”

“I love you,” he blurted out.

I actually stumbled over what I was in the middle of saying when it clued in what he said to me. As if it was the first time he said those words to me, I felt this warmth start in my chest and spread outwards. “I love you too.”
I was still smiling like a young girl in love a half hour later as we strolled through the mall, hand in hand. At every couple store windows, Jordan would stop and point to something but we didn’t go into any of the stores until we came to Kidz Threadz.

“That dress is pretty,” he said as he pulled me towards the entrance. “Do you think it’s pretty enough for a Christmas dress for Jenna? I want her to look her best when -” He stopped and cursed. “I almost forgot that I wanted to buy a camcorder, the one I have finally crapped out a couple weeks ago.”

We walked into the store and he immediately headed towards the dress in the window. The dress in question was a rich scarlet red silk dress with little pink flowers under the bust and the same shade of pink used as a neck line and cuffs. It was a pretty little dress but once he was up close to it, he screwed up his nose. “What do you think?”

“I think it’s cute,” I told him. “But maybe you should see what else they have in stock and maybe check out other stores before buying it if you aren’t 100% sure that you like it Jordy.”

“Yeah but Babe, what do you think?”

“I told you, it’s cute.”

He looked at me. “But?”

“But…” I shrugged. “You didn’t look too impressed with it so I think you should check around before you buy so that you are happy with the dress when you get it home and put it on your pretty little girl.”

Slowly, we made our way through the store. As we went Jordan stopped to look at all the girl clothing as well as the baby boy clothes. He picked up a couple cute outfits for Jenna and Bradley. “Amy will tell me I didn’t have too but he’s my nephew and Godson, I have double the right to spoil him rotten.”

“Mmmhmm,” I nodded absently as I checked out a cute little baby blue dress.

“It’s pretty.” He reached around me and fingered the soft material. “For Jenna?”

Smiling, I glanced at him over my shoulder and felt a familiar tug in my chest.

After we showered that morning, he stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself while rubbing his hand over his jaw. “I should probably shave.” It only took me telling him that he looked super hot all scruffy for him to forget about that idea.

“Yes, it is. I thought this would be a good time to think about buying Christmas presents for those on my list this year. It’s just over a month until the day, you know.”

“I know but I was thinking that instead of worrying about that on this trip, we could come back in a month and then work on our list.”

I started to tell him that it sounded like a plan when he asked me if I was doing the Christmas shopping trip with the girls again this year. “Yeah, they had a blast when we did it last year and they’ve already been hinting that they wanted to do it again.” I told him that he should come with us.

“Nah,” he shook his head. “That’s their time with you, I wouldn’t want to get in the way. And besides, how can you all buy me the coolest gift if I’m hanging over your shoulder?”

I laughed, “Good point!”

On that note, we moved away from the rack, with the dress I picked out and wandered to the back of the store. Jordan didn’t find the dress he was looking for in that store. It would take a half hour more and a couple stores later before he exclaimed, “I found it!”

“You did?” I quickly dropped the clothing I was looking at and hurried to his side. “Oh my! That’s it. Jenna will look so adorable in that.”

That was a long sleeved teal velvet dress with beading in the shape of flowers on the bodice and around the bottom of the skirt with a lighter green ribbon just under the bodice. Under the green velvet there was a layer of silver satin that just added to the beauty of the dress.

“I’m getting it,” he told me as he spun around and damn near ran to the cashier.

With one item scratched off his list we headed towards an electronics store. Once we found a camcorder he liked, we strolled through the mall, hand in hand, as we headed towards the exit.

Just as I was putting our shopping bags into the back seat of his truck, my cell phone, which was in Jordan’s pocket, rang.

“Want me to get it?”

“Sure,” I shrugged. “It’s probably just Zack calling to see how things are going.”

On the third ring, Jordan flipped the phone open and said hello. Two seconds later my phone was shoved in front of my face and Jordan walked around the front of his truck muttering something under his breath.
I frowned as I watched him climb up into the driver’s seat. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

It took me a moment but I finally recognized the voice. “Josh?”

Day Away

The first night in the hotel with Jordan was just perfect. From the moment I walked out of the bathroom until I drifted off to sleep, he told, showed, or helped me feel how much he loved me. I was enjoying being wrapped up in us so much that I didn’t want to even leave the room the next morning when he sleepily suggested that we get up and go find some breakfast.

“But the hotel has room service Jordy.” I snuggled closer to him. “Can’t we just order something and stay in?” While I was hoping that he would say yes, I knew he wouldn’t, I had a feeling he had plans for us that involved going out of the hotel.

“We could,” he smiled down at me. “But we won’t.”

I asked him what was so important that we had to leave the room and he gave me a funny look. “Babe,” he sat up and turned to pull me into a sitting position beside him. “Don’t take this the wrong way but this weekend isn’t all about getting you naked.” His eyes travelled down to the blankets that just barely covered my bare chest. “Although I really love it when we are naked together, that’s not why I brought you here.”

“Oh,” I glanced away from him. “I thought that’s why we were here.”

“Anna if it were only about sex, why even bother to leave home?” He chuckled softly. “This weekend is about us, and I like to think there is so much more to us than how we are together sexually.”

“Good thoughts,” I smiled at him. “So what are we doing today?”

Reaching around my back, Jordan slapped my butt. “Get up and you’ll see Babe.”

We didn’t exactly leave the hotel room right away, after he smacked my butt, he went to get out of bed and I attempted to get him back. He quickly rolled back onto his butt, trapping my hand under him as he reached for my sides and just started to tickle me. Every time I tried to turn the tables on him, he let me think I was about to do it but then he overpowered me and resumed his ‘attack’ until I was curled up in the fetal position begging for mercy.

“Ok, Ok,” he moved to my side and grinned down at me. “I wouldn’t want you to pee on me!” When he turned to get off the bed, I moved into position to slap his butt because I just couldn’t let it go. I didn’t think he saw me but just as he stood up and I made the move to slap, he spun around and grabbed my hand. “Gotta be faster Babe,” he smirked as he turned me onto my side and spanked me again.

“Where are you going?” I called after him as he hurried away from the bed, not caring that he was completely naked. And I couldn’t help but check him out as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Going to shower,” he threw over his shoulder. “Wanna join me?”

He didn’t need to ask me twice, I was off the bed and at his side in no time at all. As he laughed, I took his hand and pulled him into the bathroom.

An hour after we disappeared into the bathroom, Jordan opened the hotel room door. “Hello,” he nodded to the cleaning lady who was just about to knock on our door. “That’s pretty good timing,” he smiled at her. “Great timing, the room is all yours.”

As we walked away, I noticed the lady checking him out. “Hey Jordy?”

He looked at me and I nodded back to the lady. He didn’t even glance back as he told me that he wasn’t interested in even knowing.

We left the hotel and went straight to the nearest restaurant for breakfast and then made our way to the mall.

It seemed like we spent forever in the mall. We started out in the rec room playing air hockey and pool then headed off to the restaurant part of the place to grab burgers and fries.

“I’m going to ask Heather if I can have Jenna over Christmas,” he blurted out between a bite of his cheeseburger and a sip of his Pepsi. “She probably won’t let me have her then, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask, I haven’t had Jenna over any holidays yet and this is my first Christmas with her.”

“Christmas?” I raised a brow. “Wow Babe that’s great. I don’t see why Heather wouldn’t agree to that – she seems to really want you and Jenna to become closer.” A couple weeks before, I was with Jordan when Heather picked up Jenna; one of the first questions that Heather asked Jenna was if she had a great time with her daddy.

“You love being with daddy, don’t you?” Jenna nodded enthusiastically and reached for Jordan; Heather let him take Jenna in his arms once again. “A couple more minutes,” she told Jenna as she turned to me. “I’m gonna talk to Anna for a minute, if that’s ok?” She directed that question to Jordan.

“Of course,” he smiled. “We’re gonna play in the living room,” he told us and then gave me a kiss before disappearing into the house.

“So how are you doing?” I asked her once we were seated in Jordan’s kitchen. “How’s Hank?”

She grinned. “He’s great, I’m great. But I wanted to talk about Jordan and you.” Her eyes lit up. “I can’t believe it finally happened! It’s been what? A couple months?”

I nodded, “It’ll be four months in a couple days. Trust me; I can’t even believe it some days. You know people always talk about finding your soul mate – someone who is like your best friend –”

Heather leaned in over the table. “I’m so happy for you two; Jordan has been so happy lately, it’s great to see.” She went on to tell me that she was worried for the longest time that Jordan was going to try to get back with her. “As much as I loved Jordan, it’s nothing like the feelings I have for Hank – despite the issues we had in the beginning.”

“Yeah Heather has been great with giving me time with Jenna but I’m afraid that she won’t let me have her for Christmas.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I reached out and squeezed his hand. “I don’t see Heather stopping you from seeing her over Christmas but –” I stopped short.

“What?” Jordan looked at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I shook my head slightly. “Just that – well…” I frowned. “I just realized that Christmas as we knew it is done.” He shot me a questioning look. “I mean, the days of Nick, Amy and us hanging out together Christmas Eve and having breakfast together are pretty much gone. Nick and Amy are going to be doing their own thing with Bradley this year and you, well, you are going to want to spend time with Jenna.”

He started to say something but I stopped him. “No, it’s ok Jordy, that’s the next step in the whole growing up thing, spending important holidays with family.”

“Babe…”

“Come on,” I tugged on his hand and motioned towards the bowling lanes in the other room. “Ready to get your butt whooped?”