A Day In The Life

I woke up early the next morning with a lot on my mind. I hated the way things went after we viewed the last house the day before. I hated that Jordan talked to me like that in front of the girls but most of all I hated that I let him.

But with all that said, I wasn’t upset with myself for not getting into a fight or whatever when he finally came home. It didn’t matter how much I hated what happened, I knew that we would talk about it and we would clear the air. That was always the way it worked with us. That was why we worked as well as we did.

In the early morning light, I could just make out Jordan’s features. That morning, just like every other time I gazed at him, my heart skipped a beat. Jordan was, without a doubt, a very handsome man and even though he knew this, it never made him an arrogant man. He was, by far, the sweetest, kindest guy I ever knew. There was never a moment when we were growing up that I wondered if he would have my back, or take my side or be there for me when I needed him. Just like he always knew that he could count on me to be there for him however he needed it.

It was that respect, understanding and love that kept us close throughout the years and eventually led to us taking the leap into a romantic relationship. Sure, it wasn’t easy all the time but for the most part it was perfect. He was perfect. We were perfect. Despite all of our flaws.

I couldn’t help by smile as I watched him sleep. Whenever he was really tired, he always ended up on his back with one arm crossed over his chest and the other thrown out as if he was offering an sleepy invite to me to cuddle up next to him. Many times I took him up on that offer, even when we weren’t dating. It was always wonderful to wake up pressed against him because, no matter what, he when he started to wake, he would roll towards me as much as he could and smother me in his arms. I always felt so loved when he did that, even if we were just friends.

Who am I kidding? I never really truly thought of Jordan as ‘just’ a friend in years. From the time he started to ‘mature’ and wanted to show me every new hair or tell me the ‘cool’ things that was happening with his body or the sexy whispering in my ear he attempted once his voice started to change, I was completely lost under his spell.

Nothing’s changed, I thought as my eyes travelled down over his bare chest. Sure, he’s not pulling up his shirt, all excited about new chest hair but he loves to remove his shirt and flex just for me. Shaking my head, I chuckled softly because I knew I was still under his spell. But at least, this time, he was under mine as well.

Leaning over him, I pressed my lips against his. There is no words to describe the feelings that flowed through me when, in his sleeping state, Jordan pulled me into his arms and sighed happily. “Love you,” he mumbled in his sleep.

“Love you too,” I whispered as I kissed his chest before settling down next to him.

It wasn’t long before I joined him in dreamland once again.

****

The next time I woke up, the sun was shining and the bed next to me was cold and empty.

Empty except for the note that was folded up and placed on Jordan’s pillow with my name written in his bold masculine, almost illegible handwriting.

Curious, I pushed up onto my elbow and reached out to grab the paper. Opening it up, I scanned it quickly and then fell back against the mattress, chuckling.

“I didn’t want to leave but Jenna made me! She was demanding p’nakes! Don’t move, I plan on taking advantage of you as soon as she turns her back!”

My man, he’s nothing if not romantic.

Of course, I moved, my stomach was growling and p’nakes (pancakes) sounded really good.

Crawling out of bed, I stopped by Jordan’s closet long enough to pull on a pair of my shorts and his high school grad sweatshirt before continuing on my way into the hall where I was immediately teased with the scent of pancakes as it drifted throughout the house.

My stomach growled louder.

“Good morning girls,” I stopped briefly to see if my nieces needed any help with the mountain of books that were spread open in front of them, ignored as they entertained, or were entertained, by Jenna and her ‘Doa’.

They told me they were fine, so I continued on my way and wandered into the kitchen were Jordan was spooning homemade pancake batter onto the hot griddle while he whistled.

“Morning Babe,” he smiled at me when I came to stand by his side. As he offered me his cheek, he asked how I slept.

“Great.” I kissed his cheek. “And you lied.”

“What?” He frowned. “When?”

“In this.” I held up the note he left me and glanced around the room. “Jenna’s back is turned and I was still laying there, not the least bit violated when I woke up.”

He laughed out loud. “I see.” He finished pouring the batter onto the griddle and then turned to me. “I can change that right now, if you like.” He lunged for me, grabbed my hips and yanking my body towards his as he lowered his head to my neck. In between his kisses and nibbling, he told me exactly what he wanted to do to me, no details spared.

“Jordan!” I gasped.

“Whaaat?” He asked as innocently as he could.

“The girls are –”

I heard the sound of tiny feet running moments before I heard Jenna asked, “P’nakes?”

“This isn’t over,” Jordan growled as he reluctantly released me.

****

Later that afternoon, Zack swung by on his way home from work to pick up his daughters. Despite having spent the afternoon watching Jenna play, doing their homework and relaxing with Jordan and me, the girls didn’t really want to leave.

“Why can’t we stay another night?” Cassie asked Zach. “We barely get to see Aunt Anna anymore.”

“Barely?” Zach laughed. “More like you barely see your mom and your sister anymore. Go get your stuff together; I want to get home before your mom starts worrying.”

“It’s not fair,” Cassie whined as she stomped pass Zach, pulling Lindsay down the hallway with her to pack up their stuff. “I’m almost 18, and I’m not allowed to go anywhere!”

“Keep that up and you won’t be going anywhere!” Zach called after her. Turning to me, he asked if I could be less fun the next time the girls spend the night. “Lately, being here is all they talk about.”

“It’s not like we are partying or anything Zach.” I told him that we didn’t do anything all day but laze around. “They did their homework and played with Jenna, it’s not the most thrilling day by no means.”

He stood there for the longest time, just staring at Jordan and me as we sat together on the couch before shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know what it is but they don’t seem to want to be home and it’s upsetting Mary; she’s afraid that the girls are upset about the baby. She’s worrying about it and it’s not doing her any good.”

“They aren’t upset about the baby Zach. Why Cassie told me yesterday that she was looking forward to having a new brother or sister.”

“Then why don’t they want to be home?”

I shrugged. “They are teenagers?”

“You were one once and I couldn’t get you to leave the house!”

Jordan, who was quietly playing with Jenna as Zach and I spoke, now chuckled. “That’s because Nick and I always wanted to be at your house.” He glanced up at Zach, “Being home sucked.”

“But the girls…” Zach groaned. “I don’t understand my girls, they have everything they could want at home but they don’t seem to want to be there.”

I really didn’t have an answer for him. I knew that I loved being home when I was a teenager and maybe that was because the boys were always over, I can’t really say. The only thing I could tell him was to talk to the girls about it.

****

After supper, while I did the dishes, Jordan wandered off into bathroom with Jenna to start his nightly bedtime routine. Most nights, he would ask me to come and sit with him as he bathed Jenna but the odd night, I would busy myself with dishes or some other sort of house work just to give him some time alone with her.

From my spot in front of the kitchen sink, I could hear Jordan talking silly and Jenna’s squealing laughter. It made me smile and it made me feel like the happiest woman in the world. It also made me hope that Heather and Hank took their time coming back from Hank’s grandmother’s place.

I was in the middle of hoping that Jordan has lots of ‘daddy and Jenna’ nights like this when his home phone rang. I wandered into the living room to answer the phone, pausing briefly to call down the hallway to Jordan to let him know he didn’t have to worry about getting it.

“Thanks Babe,” he called back as I brought the receiver to my face and said ‘hello’.

“I guess that answers my question. Hey Trouble.”

I smiled. “Nick, how are you? Did you need to speak to Jordy?” I paused, glancing down the hallway before telling Nick that Jordan was giving Jenna a bath.

Nick told me not to worry about it. “I was just calling to see how things went after Jordan left here last night.”

“Jordan was there?” I’ll admit, I was curious where he went after he sped away the day before.

“Yup, showed up here all worried with a crying Jenna. I didn’t know what the hell happened for the longest time, he just kept repeating that he fucked up.”

“He told you what happened?”

“Yeah,” Nick replied but didn’t elaborate any more than that.

“Ok,” I played with the dish cloth I was still holding, unsure of what to really say.

After a long silence, Nick asked me if Jordan told me why he didn’t come home until after midnight. When I said no, that we hadn’t talked about what happened yet, that we would when Jenna was asleep, Nick just said, ‘oh’.

“Was there something I should know?”

“No, nothing really.”

“Oh,” I frowned. “Then why did you ask that Nick?”

“Just wanted to know if he told you how crazy he is, that’s all.”

Jordan came wandering down the hallway with Jenna bundled up in a towel. I raised a brow in his direction. “Crazy? What do you mean Nick?”

Weakness In His Armour

It was a disappointing evening. Not only was Jenna cranky and not interested at all in looking at houses with her dad and me, but Jordan seemed to be a little cranky himself. Or maybe it was that way because we couldn’t seem to agree on anything. If I liked something, he didn’t. If I didn’t like something, he just thought it was the coolest thing he ever saw.


“Oh come on Anna,” he said as he jumped up into the drivers’ seat of his truck. “What was wrong with that house?”

“It was too closed in, I couldn’t imagine any of our stuff there. It just didn’t feel right Jordan.”

“Didn’t feel right?” He shook his head and muttered something under his breath.

“Yes Jordan,” I turned to gaze out the window at the snow as it lazily fell to the ground. “It didn’t feel like ‘home’.”

“No, nothing will until we move and get settled.” Staring up the truck, he glanced at my nieces in the back seat. “What did you think of the house?”

“Don’t answer that,” I told the girls.

“Why not?” Jordan demanded. “I just asked what they thought, what’s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong?” I slowly turned to stare at him. “Are they going to be living there Jordan?”

“Well, no.” His hand slipped to the gear shift. “But what difference does it make?”

I didn’t want to argue with him, especially not over this. “I just didn’t like the feel of the house Jordan – it didn’t feel like home. It didn’t feel right.”

He stared down at me for the longest time before finally saying, “Fine, I’ll talk to Wanda and find out if there’s anything else we can look at.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, happy that it didn’t turn into a huge argument in front of the girls. “Thank you,” I said as he slammed the gearshift into drive and mumbled, “Don’t know why it matters, it’s not like it’s your money.”

Behind me, I heard the girls inhale sharply, letting me know they heard him too.

Right then and there I wanted to ask him what the hell was biting him but I managed to bite my tongue. I won’t lie, his comment hurt and I felt like crying because he never talked to me like that before and it wasn’t true, he wasn’t the one financing the entire purchase of the house – I had money in the bank and Zack had told me if we needed more, he would help us any way he could.

As we drove along the streets towards his house, I made a promise to myself that I would calmly talk to him later about his attitude. But when we arrived at the house, he pulled into the driveway but he didn’t shut off the truck. “Don’t unhook her,” Jordan said to Cassie when she went to help Jenna out of her car seat.

“Ok,” Cassie backed off and shot me a questioning look before slipping out of the back seat along with Lindsay.

Once they were out of the truck, I turned to Jordan; he was staring straight ahead tapping his hand on the steering wheel. “Aren’t you coming in?”

Shaking his head stiffly, he said ‘no’ to the windshield.

My heart hurt.

His hand started tapping more impatiently on the wheel.

“Is something wrong?”

His jaw flinched but he didn’t say anything.

“Jordy –“

“Just go inside Anna.”

“But…” I reached for him but he moved away. “I don’t understand Jordan. Are you mad that I don’t like the last house?”

“Anna!” He growled impatiently as he turned towards me finally. “Why can’t you just do as I asked? Why do you always have to argue with me? It’s not that difficult to open the door and get out.”

Blinking back the tears that were building up inside, I gripped the door handle and shoved it opened. “You don’t have to talk down to me,” I told him as I jumped out. And just because he pissed me off, I told him he was being a jerk. “I’m not about to choose a house I don’t like,” I told him. “It was your idea to get a house together; you wanted ‘us’ to make the decision.”

“Yeah,” he rammed the gear shift in drive and glared at me. “I should’ve known you can’t make a decision to save your life!”

“Oh whatever!” I snapped at him. “I choose to be with you, now, didn’t I?” I have no idea if he had a comeback for that, I didn’t wait to find out – I slammed his door and stomped away.

On the front step, my nieces were shivering. “Aunt Anna?” Cassie wrapped her arms around me as Jordan sped away. “It’ll be ok,” she whispered as I cried on her shoulder. “It’ll be ok.”

****

If I had my stubborn way, I would’ve went into the house and packed my bags and went home but the girls refused to let me run. “Uncle Jordan will come home and he’ll tell you what’s biting him,” they would tell me time and time again when I mentioned not wanting to be there.

Even hours later, when Jordan still hadn’t come home, they were telling me that it would be ok. “You guys are best friends as well as lovers,” they told me. “He’ll come home and explain it all.”

They also told me that I would hate myself for leaving. “You won’t feel any better,” they stated. “You’ll worry all night and work yourself into a panic attack. Uncle Jordan loves you Aunt Anna; he’s just got a lot on his mind, that’s all.”

They were so right, I would worry, I would make myself sick so instead of leaving, I told them to get ready for bed and I disappeared into Jordan’s room to do the same.

The clock on the nightstand read 12:40am when the bedroom door opened and Jordan came into the room. As quietly as he could, he got ready for bed and soon he had the sheets lifted so he could slide in. From the moment the door opened, I laid so still, afraid to breathe because I didn’t want him to know I was wake – afraid that he would still be in a pissy mood.

When the bed moved under his weight and he slid in behind me, I said a silent prayer that everything was alright.

Seconds ticked by, he didn’t say anything and I didn’t feel him move any closer so I figured he was still upset or didn’t want to wake me.

Just as I had relaxed enough to start to drift off, he groaned and moved until he was pressed up against my back with his arm wrapped around my waist. Pressing his lips firmly against my shoulder, he squeezed me tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in the darkness.

Sorry about what? I wanted to ask but I didn’t because I was just happy that he was home and holding me.

“I know you’re awake,” he whispered after a couple minutes.

I didn’t say anything but I did slip my hand over his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“You were always terrible at pretending,” he chuckled softly.

Glancing over my shoulder, I raised a brow.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated as he nuzzled my cheek.

“What happened?”

“I didn’t think it would be this hard,” he told me.

Shifting in his arms, I turned more towards him. “What wouldn’t be?”

“I wanted everything to be perfect,” he admitted. “I thought we would look at a couple houses and we would find one that would make us both happy but we’ve looked at how many houses now? 10? 15?”

I shrugged, I wasn’t really counting.

“I don’t know,” he groaned. “I don’t know if this was one of my good ideas or not.”

Taking a deep breath, I asked him, “Are you regretting asking me to move in with you?”

Without hesitation, he replied, “Absolutely not. I just hope we have a place to live before the sale closes on this house.”

“Jordy,” I turned completely and faced him. “I’m not worried about where we’ll live, as long as we are together.”

“Even if it’s on the street?” He joked.

I grinned, “I’ll be there to keep you warm.”

A Good Reason To Wait?

I was going to ask him about his date and how come he agreed to go out on a night when he had Jesse – something that he wasn’t too willing to do before. But instead of those words coming out of my mouth, I asked, “With the waitress from Boston Pizza?”

Josh’s smile disappeared. “How did you know?”

Crap! I cringed. “She was that into you at the restaurant?” I offered.

He wasn’t buying it for one second. Crossing his arms over his chest, he stared down at me. “What did you do?”

“Nothing!” I insisted. “Just…”

“Anna,” he didn’t look too happy. “Please tell me you didn’t beg her to ask me out.”

“No!” I shook my head and reached for his arms. With my hands curled around his biceps, I stared up into his eyes. “No Josh! I wouldn’t do that to you!”

“Then how do you know she’s my date?”

I sighed. He groaned. “No,” I gripped his arms tighter. “I swear it’s nothing.” I went on to tell him when he excused himself to go to the bathroom; she appeared at the table and seemed all nervous. “She asked if we were dating – I told her no. She asked if you were seeing anyone – again, I told her no. Then she told me that she thought you were really cute and she wanted to ask you out but she wanted to make sure you weren’t seeing anyone. She asked me what kind of woman you were attracted to…” I trailed off as he ran a hand over his face.

“You told her to ask me out, didn’t you?”

“Yes, Josh, I did.”

“Anna!”

“No, it wasn’t like that!” I insisted. “I told her what I would tell anyone else who was interested in a friend of mine – ‘the best way to see if he’s interested is to ask him’ – “

“I can’t believe this,” Josh groaned.

I wanted to shake him. “Josh come on. She didn’t ask you out because I told her too, she asked you out because she thinks you are hot and she wants your bod. Now deal with it because she’s not the only woman out there who’ll come on to you. Geeze!”

I turned away from him, a little ticked that he was making a beg deal out of his date having asked me about him. Didn’t he know that’s what women do? They ask someone about the man they were drooling over. I knew I had done it many, many times before myself. “She likes what she’s seen of you Josh,” I glanced over my shoulder. “That’s why she asked you out.”

He pondered that for a moment and then took a deep breath, his hand circled around my arm as he released that breath. “I’m sorry, I’m just not used to an ex being involved with setting me up with anyone – Carol would never have told anyone to ask me out.”

My hand slipped over his as I stared up at him. “I’m not Carol, now, am I?”

Without having to think about it, he chuckled softly, “No Anna, you aren’t Carol.” He told me that I couldn’t be further from being like her if I tried.

“Good,” I smiled and patted his hand. “Now, about this date, where are you taking her?” I started to suggest some places that she might like.

With a snort, he removed his hand from my arm and told me I did my part, “I can handle it from here.”

****

“Aunt Anna this sucks!” Cassie flopped down next to me as the rest of the kids reluctantly made their way towards the exits. Practice had been over for a good half hour but they were all hanging out around because Eric had mentioned, at the last meeting that Fireball might show up; they didn’t.

“I’m sorry Cassie but you know as well as I did that Eric didn’t promise that Fireball would be here.”

“I know,” she pouted. “But don’t you think he shouldn’t have mentioned it if he wasn’t sure? I mean,” she flipped her hair and cracked the gum she was chewing. “Doesn’t it seem a little cruel to get our hopes up like that?”

“It wasn’t intentional Cass.” Glancing across the room where Eric sat on the stage listening to Jenna go on about ‘Doa’, I couldn’t help but smile. “I’m sure he feels bad about even mentioning it now.”

Cassie followed my gaze. “He’s really good with kids, isn’t he?” She leaned in and rested her chin on my shoulder. “It’s a shame that he won’t be a daddy, don’t you think?”

“He could still be a daddy,” I told her. “Just won’t achieve it the way most men do, that’s all.”

“Yeah,” she sat back in her chair. “But what do you think Uncle Mike would say? He says he’s gay just so he doesn’t have kids.”

“Cassie!” I laughed out loud. “You know not to believe everything Mike says, right?”

“Of course,” she scoffed. “I’m not stupid Aunt Anna, I know he was joking.”

Turning to her, I told her that she shouldn’t believe everything any man says. “Just look at Jordy, he said he would never be a daddy and…” I motioned to Jenna. “He’s an amazing daddy, she loves him so much.”

“I know.” She sat there for a couple seconds and then an evil grin appeared on her face. “Speaking of kids Aunt Anna…”

I raised a brow.

She continued. “Are you and Uncle Jordy…?”

“Cassie I don’t think –“

“I know Daddy says he’d kill Uncle Jordy if he got you pregnant without a ring, but I’m sure he’s just kidding.” She smiled and went on to tell me that she couldn’t wait her baby sister or brother to be born. “I know I wasn’t too excited about when I first heard because –,” she made a disgusted face. “Who wants to think of their parents having sex? I mean, their like, old and….” The words she was about to speak froze on her lips as she stared at the exit doors while her mouth hung open.

“What?” I turned towards the doors, wondering what was going on. “Oh my…” I couldn’t believe it, Fireball, or at least their lead singer, was making his way into the room, right towards Eric and Jenna.

And all Cassie and I could do is sit and stare.

“Todd, you made it!” Eric had gotten to his feet and now was ‘man hugging’ Todd as he told him most of the kids already left for the day.

When Todd spoke, apologizing for being late, Cassie gripped my hand. “Oh Aunt Anna,” she whispered. “Do you hear him? Isn’t he sexy?”

“Shhh!” I waved my hand in front of her face as Todd motioned towards Jenna, who suddenly wanted to play shy, and gave Eric a confused look. “Yours?”

Eric chuckled, “No.” He picked Jenna up and she buried her face against his shoulder. “This is Mike’s niece, Jenna.” He attempted to pull Jenna away from his shoulder to get her to say ‘hi’ to Todd but she wasn’t having any of it. Not even when Todd tried to sweet talk her. In fact, she pouted and looked around for me.

“She wants Anna,” Eric explained when Todd asked what she said.

“Oh, oh, oh….” Cassie’s hand tightened on mine as Eric led Todd over to us. “Act natural,” she hissed at me but she was the one freaking out.

Cassie and I managed to stand before they reached us. I had relieved Eric of the ‘shy’ Jenna and he introduced us to Todd and that’s as far as we got before Cassie lost all cool and jumped him. Talking a million miles a minute, Cassie told Todd that she thought he was pretty much a god and she worshipped the ground he walked on.

Lindsay, who had been working on her homework a couple seats back when Todd came in the room, was now shaking her head at her sister. Giving Todd an apologetic glance, she said as calm as if she were talking to her dad, “She’s normally not so crazy, I swear.”

By the time Jordan showed up to take us out to look at potential homes, Cassie had returned to normal and actually had Todd’s full attention while she explained to him where the idea for the show came from and how she hoped it would be the first of many events that she helped organize for the benefit of our town. “My dad, mom and Aunt Anna have all been great role models when it comes to giving back,” she told him with great pride. “They are huge footsteps to follow in but I’m confident I can do it.”

“Sounds like you’re a woman to be reckoned with,” he told her as he took her hand in his and held it for a minute before shaking it firmly. “My band and I are honoured to be a part of this.”

Cassie’s ‘cool’ slipped as the 17 year old fan in her peeked out. With a squeal she told him he was awesome and hugged him. “This show is going to rock!”